Krycek awoke to someone lightly shaking him. He opened one eye to see 
a man kneeling beside him. He sat up with a start and blocked the 
man's view of Mulder. 

"What are you doing here?" Krycek snarled, "I told everyone to leave 
us alone!" 

The man stood and looked down at him, "I wanted to see who killed the 
sorriest sons of bitches on this ship." 

Krycek eyed the man warily, his eyes narrowing. He stood to face him. 

The man smirked. "You did quite a job on the captain and his friends. 
Bastards all of them, I can't quite feel sorry for them at all." 

"Who are you?" 

"I'm the first mate, Burkholder, and I am now, thanks to you, the new 
captain of this ship." 

"What do you want?" 

"I've come to thank you. I cannot tell you how long I have waited for 
this promotion." He looked Krycek up and down for a moment. 

Krycek snorted. 

"It's true. The captain was a complete - what's that word the 
Americans like to use? - asshole. That does not mean that I am happy 
you killed five crew members; running this ship is going to be a lot 
harder thanks to you." Burkholder went over to the doorway to the 
small room inside the hold, grabbed a bundle and tossed it at Krycek. 
"Here are some clothes and two blankets. I saw how your clothes were 
ruined during your altercation." 

Krycek said nothing but continued to glare at the other man. 

"No one is going to come down here except to feed you twice a day. As 
we get farther into our journey, the fresh food supply will diminish. 
Do not be surprised if you get canned food for days in a row. Also, 
when patrols come on board, the light above your head will flicker on 
and off. Please hide yourself, your companion and your belongings 
inside the wall opposite the door. You will find the panels slide back 
quite easily from the outside but are impossible to open if locked 
from within. Do not forget to hide the food and water; that is the 
first thing they will notice. Do not move the supplies that are kept 
in here; we have to say this room is used for something valid, hmm?" 

Krycek listened to the man, wanting to tell him to shut up, wanting to 
tell him to move them into the Captain's quarters, wanting to take 
charge and order him around instead. He knew this was foolish 
thinking. The second he stepped out of the door to his house two days 
ago, he became a civilian. 

"If we get caught, I will not protect you; my ship comes first. Do you 
understand? Do you realize the danger?" 

"Yes," Krycek said, clutching the bundle of garments to his chest. 

"Good. Now, there is a W/C down the hallway that you may use, but keep 
it very clean; do not leave anything in there that will alert patrols 
to your presence." 

Krycek just nodded. 

Burkholder nodded at the still sleeping Mulder on the floor. "Is he 
all right? He's not dead, is he?" 

Krycek shook his head. "No, he is just exhausted." 

"Good, I don't need any more bodies to take care of. I will leave you 
alone now." Burkholder turned towards the door 

Krycek nodded his head again. He hated being talked to as if he was a 
child. 

"Oh yes," Burkholder turned back and threw a small object at Krycek. 
"Thank you again for the promotion. See you in Argentina." Burkholder 
snickered to himself before going out the door. 

Krycek looked at the small object he held in his hand. It was a bar of 
chocolate. There was some bread, an apple and some cheese on the plate 
one of the crewmembers had left behind before. There was also plenty 
of water, //a veritable feast//. 

Krycek put a pair of the trousers on. Might as well save his own 
clothes for when they got to Argentina. He sat down again and draped 
one of the blankets over Mulder, tucking the other one under his head. 
He was sore from sleeping on the ground in the woods and then this 
hard steel floor. He stretched as much as he could before giving up. 
He would be stiff for a few more weeks, might as well get used to it. 

He looked at Mulder who was still sleeping. //The trauma of the rapes 
and the emotions from the past few days must have caught up with 
him.// Krycek reached over and stroked his hair, remarking at the 
softness of it. 

"Mein schoener Fox," he whispered before dropping a kiss on his 
forehead. 

Krycek dozed for awhile, his arm protectively around Mulder. A few 
hours later, Mulder stirred and started to wake up. He looked at 
Krycek and reached out to him, hugging him fiercely. He broke away as 
he realized where he was, and his gaze dropped to the floor. 

Krycek tilted Mulder's head up with his hand, "What is it?" 

"I thought it was a bad dream, but it's true." 

Krycek crushed Mulder to his chest, stroking his hair and naked back. 
"That will never happen again, not as long as I am alive. Anyone tries 
to touch you again, I will kill them first." 

Mulder drew a deep breath and nodded. He knew what Krycek said was the 
truth, especially after what happened earlier. They embraced for 
awhile then pulled away. 

"I promise, Fox." Krycek kissed Mulder on the lips to seal his pledge. 
Mulder returned it and wanted more, but Krycek broke away. "You must 
eat something." 

Mulder nodded, he was quite hungry. After eating enough to please 
Krycek, he put on the clothes that had been left for him, snuggled up 
against Krycek and fell fast asleep. 

  

  

  



For the next two weeks, their days were spent telling each other bits 
and pieces of their life, teaching each other childhood games to keep 
from boredom. Mulder was grateful to have someone to talk to. It had 
been agony imprisoned in his cell with no company, save for the hour a 
day Krycek came to see him. While this was not an actual prison, it 
felt like it. 

Krycek was also grateful Mulder was here. They could hear fighting 
around them and feel bombs go off nearby, the ship listing from the 
blasts. He held on to Mulder tightly, whispering in his ear not to be 
scared, yet he was terrified himself. 

Twice they had to hide from patrols, one German, one British. They 
were never found but had a close call. One of the British soldiers who 
had come aboard had thrust his bayonet through the wall and got it 
stuck there. He had to snap it off and leave it there, just inches 
from Krycek's belly. Afterwards, Krycek had collapsed, sobbing, into 
Mulder's arms, not at the brush with death, but the lack of control he 
had. Krycek felt very frustrated that he could not provide better 
passage for Mulder. 

Finally, the guns and bombs grew silent as they started away from 
Europe and down Africa. It had taken them a week to make a journey 
that should have only taken days. 

Once the ship hit rough waters, the two men were tossed around like 
ping-pong balls. Afterwards, they counted their scrapes and bruises 
from the supplies in the room falling on them and knocking against 
them. Finally, the sea calmed, and the two secret passengers felt a 
little more at ease. There was no window, no indication where they 
were or what was happening. Krycek knew that this ship was used to 
smuggle many things, he and Mulder only a small part of the illegal 
cargo. He just hoped that they did not get caught. 

At the beginning of the third week, Krycek decided to teach Mulder how 
to wield a knife to kill. He showed him a man's weakest points and how 
to defend himself against blows. After a few days, Mulder was as quick 
as Krycek, jabbing and dodging to save himself. Krycek demanded Mulder 
come at him with full force, as if they were still enemies. Krycek 
dodged Mulder's advances, dancing around his lunges. 

Their boisterous training, however, had an unfortunate consequence. 
Mulder cut Krycek, drawing the blade against his left shoulder, 
opening a good-sized wound. When Mulder saw the blood, his face turned 
white, and he dropped his knife to the floor. 

Krycek looked down at his arm then back at Mulder. "It's only a small 
wound; it will heal." 

"That's not the point. I hurt you!" 

"It is my fault; I was not as quick as I needed to be." 

Mulder looked at what he had done in horror, the blood trickling down 
Krycek's arm to drip on the floor. 

"Fox, it's all right, really, I told you to come at me." 

"But..." 

"Trust me, it does not hurt." Krycek went to his bag and took a couple 
strips of fabric out of it from his old uniform. He wet one with water 
and started to wash the cut. 

Suddenly, Mulder was beside him. He took the wet strip of fabric and 
began cleaning the wound. After he was done, he wrapped the dry strip 
of fabric around Krycek's arm as a bandage, then wiped up all the 
blood. 

Krycek noticed the furrow in Mulder's brow, and he was also biting his 
lower lip. He reached over and kissed Mulder, his tongue sweeping 
across his lips. "Are you still upset?" Krycek asked. 

"No. I wish you wouldn't have made me attack you though. I really 
don't want to hurt you." 

Krycek smiled and caressed Mulder's chin with his hand, bringing his 
gaze to meet his own. "Okay, no more lunging at each other with 
knives, we can use the sausages the crew bring for us instead." 

Mulder smiled back, "They're almost as hard." 

Both men were now laughing, grateful for something to laugh at. As if 
on command, a small sailor came through the door with their plate of 
sausage and turnip. He quickly set this, along with a bucket of fresh 
water on the floor and left. Rumors about the wild men in the hold ran 
rampant around the ship. When it was time to take the food down to the 
hold, the galley staff drew straws. The short straw meant the person 
had to face the wild men and deliver their meals. 

The hasty retreat of the man, along with the contents of the plate, 
left both men rolling on the floor, laughing. Tears welled up in their 
eyes, and it took them a good ten minutes to calm down. 

"Come, eat before it gets dreadfully cold." 

For some reason, this set Mulder off again into a laughing fit that 
left him gasping for breath. 

Krycek watched his lover writhe on the floor. What pure joy it was to 
see Mulder happy. He nibbled on some dinner before Mulder calmed down 
enough to join him. After they had eaten, they sat back and shared a 
cigarette, something they did once a day. 

"You know, Mulder, when I was a young man, Pendrell and I stole two of 
his father's cigars. We smoked them in the woods by our houses, 
showing off for the girls. We were so sick by the end that my mother 
had to call the doctor. He gave her some awful medicine to give me, 
and I swore I would never touch cigars again. Cigarettes on the other 
hand are another story. I never thought twice about smoking them." 

"One of the girls told her mother that we were smoking cigars, and we 
got in trouble. I had to help my mother scrub the entire house. It was 
beautiful and sunny outside, and I was stuck inside cleaning. 
Pendrell's mother was not so lenient. She made him clean the stables 
every day for a week, change the bedding, take care of the horses. 
Then she made him move the entire manure pile from one end of the 
stable yard to the other. That woman was a sadist." 

Krycek chuckled and took another drag on the cigarette. 

"Soon after that incident, Pendrell became teacher's pet, aced all his 
classes and behaved himself. He was at the top of our class for years 
and did very well in University." Krycek let a smile cross his face, 
"Well, until he discovered sex anyway." 

"Pendrell sounds like a great friend. You're lucky to have had someone 
like that growing up." 

"Didn't you?" 

"No. My sister Samantha was my best friend. She died of polio when she 
was eleven. My parents didn't have any friends that had any children; 
they socialized with my father's co-workers. Most of them were single. 
My parents basically hated each other, and I was this shy little boy 
who kept to himself." 

Mulder sighed. "No, I didn't make many friends when I was young. I 
loved airplanes though; I used to sit out and watch them take off and 
land from a small airfield near our house. No one else I knew loved 
airplanes as much as I did. It's what kept me going when my parents 
would fight. I would pretend I was in my airplane, piloting it to the 
stars." 

"That is very sad, Fox." 

Mulder shrugged, "It wasn't so bad. When I grew up, I made my 
friends." Mulder's eyes glazed over for a second, then he looked up at 
Krycek. "That day in the woods, that was Pendrell, wasn't it?" 

"Yes." 

"You're going to miss him terribly, aren't you?" 

Krycek sighed, "He was more than my best friend; he was like my 
brother. We grew up together, our houses next to each other. When my 
family got killed in the war, Pendrell was the one who comforted me 
and made sure I was well. He even came with me to join the army." 

Krycek put his head in his hands for a second then looked up at 
Mulder. "We killed people together, Pendrell and I. We killed many, 
side by side." He took another breath then continued. "There was a man 
called Reinhard Heydrich. He was Himmler's deputy and head of the SD, 
which is the security arm of the SS. He was ruthless; if anyone was 
famed for killing, it was him. Well, Hitler decided to reward Heydrich 
for his duties and made him Governor of the Czech Republic in 1941. He 
was assassinated soon after by British-trained Czech agents. Hitler 
was not pleased. He sent many troops to the village of Lidice and 
killed every man, woman and child in that town as revenge. Pendrell 
and I were there, killing people, anyone not in a German uniform. It 
was brutal, all day, all night, bodies, blood, screaming. It was 
awful. At the end, Pendrell and I shared an entire bottle of whiskey 
we had found and drank ourselves into oblivion." 

Krycek looked down at the floor. "It was a massacre, senseless and 
brutal. Pendrell and I, just...just killing people because we were 
told to do so. I rationalized what we were doing was okay because 
Pendrell was doing it with me. He always protected me and would never 
let me do anything that would endanger myself or that was wrong." 

Krycek put his head in his hands again, for a moment, before speaking 
again. "Now I realize it was wrong...but we were just trying to 
survive and follow orders..." He looked up at Mulder. "It was just 
war. You pick a side, or it picks you, and you do what that side 
says." 

Mulder reached out and took Alex in his arms and just held him, 
kissing his hair. 

Alex held on to Mulder tightly; he loved how he could tell this man 
anything, exorcise the demons of his past life. Finally, he pulled 
away, grateful again that Mulder was here. 

"So tell me about your friends." 

"What friends?" 

"You said that when you got older you made friends. Tell me about 
them." 

"There isn't much to tell, really. There were a few guys in college I 
played basketball and socialized with. After that, I went into the Air 
Force." Mulder stopped and took a deep breath before continuing. 
"There is one person that has been my best friend for six years now. 
I'm very close...was very close to this person. But now I'm never 
going to see this person again, and it's for the best. I could never 
be the same person I used to be. I can never go back to America." 

"What was this fellow's name?" 

"Dana." Mulder swallowed. He knew Alex wouldn't be pleased. 

"Dana? But that's a girl's name..." Krycek drifted off for a second 
before continuing. "Fox, are you married?" 

"No. No, not yet. I'm engaged. Was engaged. Our wedding was to be this 
spring." 

Jealous rage built up inside Alex. "You are engaged, and you did not 
tell me! What were you going to do, travel with me to Argentina and 
leave me there? Go back to her?" 

"No. I...I don't want to go back there. I don't want her; I want you." 


"How can I be sure you won't be wanting this girl? How can I be sure 
that you won't leave me? Do you still love her?" Krycek's face was red 
with rage. 

"I don't..." Mulder stood and paced around the room for a minute 
before crouching before Krycek. "I don't love her in a way that most 
men love women. She was my best friend, so everyone expected us to get 
married. Men and women aren't friends unless they are involved. I 
thought...." Mulder raked his hand through his hair. "I just wanted to 
make her happy. Then I met you. You make me happy." 

"You said you loved me, Fox." 

"I do love you, Alex." 

Krycek stood up in front of Mulder, who also rose to face him. He was 
seething. "You are mine, Fox Mulder, never doubt that! You belong to 
me and no one else!" 

Mulder could see the rage and hurt in his eyes. He knew he should have 
never mentioned Dana, but he didn't want to keep secrets from Alex. He 
wanted to be able to share everything with him. His pulse quickened as 
Krycek's eyes narrowed and got that look that meant someone was about 
to be punished. He secretly hungered for that look because when Alex 
wore it, it meant that he was concentrating on Mulder to the exclusion 
of all else. 

Krycek reached over and ripped open Mulder's shirt, the buttons flying 
everywhere. "I will show you. I will show you just how much you belong 
to me. No one is allowed to touch you or to love you but me!" 

Krycek ripped off the remainder of Mulder's clothes, throwing them 
into a heap on the floor. He pushed Mulder down on all fours before 
quickly removing his own garments. 

Mulder was trembling; he knew what was going to happen, and it excited 
him. His cock was quite hard, his nipples stiff as he waited for his 
lover to mount him. Not only did he love it when Alex was wild, but he 
was also incredibly frustrated. Krycek hadn't taken him since before 
they got to the ship, saying that Mulder needed time to heal fully 
from the attack. He was desperate to feel his lover inside him. This 
was the longest they had gone without making love since the first time 
Krycek took him back in the prison. He arched his back and thrust his 
ass back enticingly at Krycek. 

Krycek liberally wet two fingers with saliva before pressing one 
against Mulder's tight opening. Mulder groaned at the sensation and 
waited impatiently as Krycek prepared him, the second finger sliding 
easily beside the first. Krycek's other hand ran down Mulder's back 
and around to his front, pinching his nipples, playing with his cock 
and balls. 

Mulder sucked in his breath as Krycek's hands skimmed over his balls, 
making the pre-cum flow from his cock. He then felt him scoop up the 
pre-cum and knew he was lubricating his cock with it. Mulder quivered 
as he felt Krycek's hand on his hip and then the large member pressing 
against his opening. He moaned at the initial penetration then sighed 
as he felt his lover start to thrust in and out of him. It felt so 
good that Mulder couldn't hold back a cry of pleasure, which brought a 
growl from Alex. But it still wasn't enough; he lowered his shoulders 
to the floor in a submissive posture that let Alex go even deeper 
inside him. 

Alex rode Mulder hard; he needed to be reminded who was in charge, who 
was the one in control. He leaned over his lover, hips still pumping, 
his hands wandering over Mulder's body. 

"Do you love me, Fox?" 

"Yes." 

"Will you love another?" 

"No." Mulder groaned. 

"Of course you won't. You want to come, don't you, Fox?" 

"Yes," Mulder wailed, "please, let me come." He bucked against Alex, 
trying to force him deeper still. 

"Not yet, Fox," Krycek hissed in his ear. "You don't come until I say 
you can. Do you understand me?" 

Mulder nodded frantically, desperate to come, so close it was torture 
to try to hold back. But if that was what Alex wanted, that was what 
he would do. 

Krycek listened to Mulder's near hysterical whimpers, loving the sound 
and knowing that Mulder didn't even realize he was making a sound. The 
smile that crossed Krycek's face at that moment would have been very 
familiar to the former inhabitants of Lidice. "Who do you belong to?" 

"You! I belong to you, Alex! I love you!" 

Mulder's declaration of love made Alex realize what he was doing to 
the man he loved. He could see tear tracks on the cheek visible to 
him, and Mulder's fists were clenched as he held back his orgasm by 
sheer willpower. Krycek groaned in dismay at how easily he had fallen 
back into hurting Mulder, and he ran a hand soothingly over Mulder's 
back. He nipped at Mulder's shoulder then reached down and grabbed 
onto his large cock. "Come for me now, Fox. I want to feel you come," 
he whispered. Pumping in time with his thrusts, he drove harder and 
harder until he felt Mulder convulse around him and heard him moan his 
name. Then Alex came with a loud cry. 

They collapsed, Alex still embedded inside Mulder. He didn't pull out, 
but rather fell out of him after he was soft. He arranged the blankets 
and motioned for Mulder to come and lie with him. He caressed Mulder's 
back and shoulders, noticing the bite mark he had left behind. 

"Will you leave me, Fox?" 

"No, I'll never leave you, Alex. I love you." Mulder kissed Alex, his 
tongue sweeping the inside of the other man's mouth. They lingered for 
awhile, tasting each other before Mulder pulled free and put his head 
back on Alex's chest. 

"Go to sleep now," Alex said. An uneasy feeling came over him just 
then. If they were going to be together and living a normal life, he 
could not treat Mulder this way. He kissed Mulder's temple, noticing 
he was starting to nod off. 

No, they needed to act like a normal couple, not as captor and 
captive. He could not fly into a jealous rage at the mention of a girl 
who lived thousands of miles away. //Didn't Fox pledge his love to me? 
I should believe his pledge, not question him. No, I must undo what I 
have done. I must give him back his independence.// 

Krycek sighed and thought about what he must do most of the night. 
Finally, he slept for a few hours before waking and putting his new 
plan into action. 

  

  

  



Mulder awoke to a fully dressed Alex, smoking a cigarette. He furrowed 
his brow at the smell. Alex never had cigarettes, except for after 
dinner; that was their custom. 

"Good morning," Mulder said hesitantly. 

"Actually I'm not sure what time it is, as I do not know where we 
are," Alex smiled, "but for the sake of argument, good morning." 

Mulder put his clothes on then padded down to the W/C. He came back 
and sat down again, letting out a big sigh. 

"What is it?" 

"Nothing." 

"It is definitely something. Come, tell me." 

Mulder looked at Alex, debating whether he should say what he really 
wanted to say, or make something up. He bit his lower lip then shook 
his head. "It's nothing; I'm just a little stiff." 

Alex took the last drag on his cigarette then stubbed it out. He went 
over to Mulder and sat before him, tilting his head up to meet his 
gaze. "You know, Mulder, I treated you very harshly yesterday, I'm 
sorry." 

Mulder's eyes widened, and he shook his head. "No, no, it's my fault. 
I should have told you about Dana earlier; I deserved it." 

Alex closed his eyes briefly then looked back down at his lover. His 
hazel eyes were so full of trust, of sorrow that he had done wrong. 
//What have I done to this man?// "No, Mulder, it was wrong for me to 
treat you as if you were still my prisoner. You are now my lover, we 
are equals, and I should treat you as such." 

Mulder looked at Alex uneasily, then nervously licked his lower lip. 
"But I did something wrong, I made you angry. If you don't punish me, 
how am I going to learn?" 

Alex smiled and took Mulder's hands in his own. He could see this was 
going to be a long process. "Look, Fox, I don't want to be that way 
anymore. I want you to be able to be open with me, to tell me what you 
are thinking. And when I go too far, I want you to tell me and not be 
afraid." 

Mulder's eyes looked hurt as he knit his brows together. "You always 
have sex with me afterwards, make me feel better." 

Alex sighed, still smiling. "Doesn't it hurt you when I do it 
afterwards? I want to make love to you all the time, not just fuck 
you. Can you tell the difference?" 

"But you always make love to me...don't you? Do you...do you love me?" 


Alex grabbed Mulder and crushed him to his chest, stroking his hair. 
"Of course I love you. I love you with all my heart and soul." 

Mulder smiled to himself. He knew Alex loved him; that was why he 
punished him. If he didn't love him, he wouldn't try to make him do 
the right thing. 

Alex sighed inwardly. //Yes, it was going to take a very long time to 
make Mulder feel like an equal.// "Are you going to tell me what's 
wrong?" 

"Nothing's wrong." 

Alex pulled back, looked at his lover and ran his thumb across his 
lower lip. "Tell me, please," he said softly. 

Mulder shifted uneasily, "Well, I was wondering why you were smoking; 
we usually have a cigarette after dinner together. It's not like you 
to break one of your habits." Mulder licked his lips again and looked 
at the floor. "And I was thinking that I was just getting kind of..." 
he drifted off. 

"Yes?" 

"I love spending all my time with you. Ever since you took me to live 
with you in your home, I never want anything but to be with you." 

"But." 

"But I'm getting weary of this journey. I...I..." 

"You're bored." 

"No. You don't bore me at all." 

"I'm bored too. It will be another few days before our journey ends. I 
was hoping it would have been over by now, but the ship obviously took 
precautions and changed their route to avoid patrols." 

Mulder looked relieved; he had been expecting Alex to fly off the 
handle again for his previous remark. 

"As for the cigarette, I felt like having one. You can have one too." 

"No. I'll wait until it's time, after dinner." 

"If you want one, you can just take one. They are in my bag, in the 
outside compartment." 

"No. I'll wait." 

Alex nodded and sat back against the wall. Mulder was right; this was 
boring. They had exhausted all conversation, and after the incident 
yesterday, he didn't want to continue their knife training right away. 
They just sat there, dozing, leaning against each other. A listless 
feeling came over them, too lazy to even have sex. 

The man came with their nightly meal, this time just beans. They ate, 
then Alex lit their customary cigarette. He passed it to Mulder after 
taking a drag. Mulder passed it back. 

"No, you have it." 

"Don't you want it?" 

"No. I don't feel like it right now." 

Mulder nervously licked his lower lip. 

"Really, Mulder, I don't want it. You have it, it's yours." 

Mulder looked at Alex again who gave him a smile. He then sat back and 
finished the cigarette on his own. 

Then there was a knock on the door. It was the now Captain Burkholder. 


"Gentlemen, glad to see you are still with us. Thank you for taking 
precautions and not doing anything wrong when the patrols were on 
board." He looked both men in the eye, an amused look on his face. "We 
are almost done our journey, gentlemen; in two days we will be in 
Argentina. We will land at night to keep ourselves under cover. I will 
flick the light on and off when we land, and you will have ten minutes 
to gather your belongings and leave. Do you understand?" 

Alex nodded his head, "Yes." 

"Good. Have a nice life, gentlemen." 

Burkholder turned and left, shutting the door behind him. 

Alex hugged Mulder. "Two more days and we can start our new life, 
together." //Two more days and we can forget about the past, about the 
war. Two more days and I can help you realize that you are a man with 
opinions and feelings. Two more days and everything will be perfect.// 


  

  

  



The next day started out as the one before, Mulder waking to see Alex 
dressed and waiting for him. He had his bag open and his clothes 
draped over various barrels and boxes in the supply room. 

"Good morning, my love," Alex said as he dropped a kiss on Mulder's 
lips. 

"Good morning." Mulder looked at the clothes then got dressed, went to 
the W/C and came back. He found Alex pacing in front of the small 
selection of clothing. 

"What do you think, Mulder?" 

"About what?" 

"The clothes. I am undecided on what to wear the night we land. Do you 
have a preference?" 

"No. Whatever you feel comfortable in." 

"I need your help. Please tell me what you think." 

Mulder looked at Alex then at the selection before him. He crossed his 
arms across his chest and bit his lower lip. "Well, the blue shirt is 
nice; it goes well with your grey pants. But then the white shirt goes 
with the light brown." 

"Yes, that's what I thought. But what would look best?" 

Mulder thought for a moment before looking at Alex, who gave him a 
grin. He then came over to stand beside him and look over the 
selections again. He grabbed Mulder's hand and squeezed. "Come on, 
Fox, what do you think?" 

"Um, I...It's summer, right?" 

"Yes." 

"Then I would go with the white shirt and light brown pants." 

Alex squeezed his hand again and smiled. "Excellent choice, I will put 
them aside and hang them over the barrels so the wrinkles will have 
time to leave them. What about you?" Alex got to work, carefully 
arranging his garments. 

"Me?" 

"What are you going to wear?" 

"I hadn't thought about it." 

"Well you should. This is going to be your new home, you want to make 
a good impression, right?" 

"I guess so." 

"Come, Mulder, this is exciting! Not many people get to start over." 

Mulder smiled. Alex was right; he should be happy that Alex chose him 
to come along with him and did not leave him behind. He got his own 
bag out and draped the contents over the barrels. 

Mulder looked at the clothing displayed before him for a moment before 
turning to Alex. "What do you suggest?" 

"Me? Mulder, you did such a good job choosing for me, you should 
choose for yourself." 

Mulder looked back at the clothes for a few minutes, mentally putting 
the combinations together. "Well, like I said, it's summer." 

"Yes." 

"So, I think the light blue shirt and the light grey pants would look 
okay." 

"Okay? It would look marvelous." Alex walked over to Mulder and held 
his chin in his hands. "We are going to be the best looking men in 
Buenos Aires, thanks to you." He kissed Mulder, feeling it down to his 
knees. No one he ever kissed could do it like Mulder. 

He pulled back and smiled. "Now, we need haircuts." 

"Haircuts?" 

"Yes and a shave." 

"How are we going to get a haircut?" 

"I have scissors in my bag; we can do each other's." 

"You want me to cut your hair?" 

"Yes, and I will cut yours. It is not hard, Mulder; just make it 
short, but even." 

Mulder busied himself with putting the clothes away that he was not 
going to wear and draping the others over the supplies as Alex had. 

He finished his task to see Alex holding a pair of scissors and a 
comb. "Do you want to be the barber first or second?" 

Mulder shrugged. 

Alex knew Mulder wasn't going to come out of his shell right away. 
"Come on, you can be first. I promise I will be gentle with you." 

Mulder smirked and sat on the floor, Alex kneeling behind him. "Take 
off your shirt so it does not get full of hair." 

Mulder complied. 

Alex combed Mulder's hair, remarking at how soft it still was, even 
with their limited diet and facilities. He cut the hair along the same 
line it was cut already, paying attention to the neckline, trying to 
shorten, yet not have spots that were shorter than the other. He 
trimmed the top and front, careful to leave the bangs that he adored 
so much when they flopped onto his forehead. Then he was finished. 

"There. You look very nice, see for yourself." He gave Mulder the very 
small hand-mirror that he had managed to tuck away in his bag. 

"Looks great." 

"My turn," Alex said as he took his own shirt off. He sat before 
Mulder, back to him, ready for him to start. 

Mulder took the comb and scissors in his hands. "I'm not so sure about 
this." 

"Why?" 

"What if I make a mistake? What if you don't like it. What if..." 

"Fox, you will do fine." 

Mulder bit his lower lip; he was doing that a lot lately. He took a 
deep breath and started combing Alex's short hair. He trimmed along 
the top, around the ears and finally the neckline. He was sweating and 
barely breathing, concentrating heavily on each snip. Finally, he sat 
back and looked at his work. It wasn't too bad. 

"I'm done." 

"Let's have a look." Alex took the mirror and admired Mulder's work. 
It had taken him the better part of an hour to do the trim. It was 
perfect; an actual barber couldn't have done a better job. "Excellent, 
Fox. Perhaps a new profession awaits you?" He grinned at his lover 
then stood, brushing the hair from him. "Come, let's shave. I will 
need you to hold up the mirror for me." 

Alex gathered his shaving kit from his bag, filling the soap lid with 
water. Mulder held the mirror for him, watching him squint and jog his 
head around to be seen in the tiny surface. "It's no good. We're going 
to have to shave each other." 

Mulder's eyes grew wide. "Really?" 

"Yes, I cannot see a thing in that mirror." He held the shaving brush 
out to Mulder. 

Mulder took the shaving brush and finished coating Alex's face with 
the soap. He then took the razor in his hand, feeling the weight of 
it. He couldn't afford to make a mistake here; one false move and he 
would cut his lover, something he didn't want to do again. 

"If you need me to move my head, tell me." 

Mulder nodded and moved closer. Alex could feel his breath on his 
face, smell his scent. His cock jumped when Mulder touched his face, 
gently turning it in the dim light, to see where to shave. He closed 
his eyes as the first stroke of the razor slowly swept the stubble 
away, almost letting out a moan at the sensual feeling of another man 
shaving him. He opened his eyes and looked at Mulder, who was intently 
focusing on the task at hand. He gasped, then closed his eyes again as 
another stroke of the razor ran across his cheek. 

He kept his eyes closed the whole time, feeling Mulder's gentle touch 
upon his face, tilting it this way and that. The razor scraped over 
his cheeks, his chin, his neck. His cock was growing harder and harder 
with every stroke. He could feel the devotion, the love radiating from 
Mulder. It was such a turn-on knowing that he evoked such adoration 
and trust. 

When Mulder stopped and started to wipe the excess soap away with a 
small towel, he regretted it was over. He grabbed Mulder's hand when 
he was done and brought it up to feel the smoothness that was now 
there. Mulder turned his hand around and caressed Alex's cheek with 
the back of his hand. 

Alex reached across and stroked the stubble Mulder still had. He then 
brought him in for a kiss, tender and full of love. Slowly, his hands 
came to caress Mulder's back and up to his shoulders, Mulder returning 
the motions. 

His tongue entered his lover's mouth, probing, searching, dancing with 
the tongue inside. Then he pulled away and started kissing down 
Mulder's neck, the stubble rough on his now smooth skin. 

Mulder sighed and leaned back so he was lying on the floor, Alex over 
him, licking and sucking his nipples. He moaned as Alex tugged at one 
with his teeth then nipped down to his belly. He could feel Alex move 
back up, licking and sucking his way to his mouth, hungry kisses 
devouring his lips. Suddenly, he was flipped over so he was on top. 

"Make love to me, Fox. I need to feel you inside me." Alex caressed 
his face, his eyes blazing a bright green. 

Mulder smiled and smoothed Alex's hair, caressing down his temple to 
his cheek then farther down still until he reached a nipple where he 
started squeezing. What a treat it was to be allowed to love this man. 
He delighted when Alex arched up into the pinch, moaning, wanting 
more. 

Mulder followed the trail his hand just took with his tongue, sucking 
and licking his way down to the hard nub. His mouth came tight around 
the nipple, sucking and teasing with his teeth. 

Alex grabbed onto Mulder's shoulders, his fingers digging in as his 
other nipple was caressed, bitten and teased to hardness. 

Mulder moved down lower, snaking a trail with his tongue down his 
chest and abdomen until he reached the waistband of Alex's trousers. 
Quickly, they were removed, leaving Alex naked before him. He had lost 
some weight; his ribs were visible, but just barely. Mulder also 
noticed his face was a little gaunt; after he shaved him, his 
cheekbones prominent. Looking up, as if asking permission, he met 
Alex's gaze before removing the remainder of his own clothing. 

He kissed Alex on the mouth before going back to his next destination. 
Spreading Alex's legs, Mulder looked at the erect cock glistening with 
pre-cum before breathing in Alex's scent, his own cock twitching, 
ready to take action. 

He knelt between his lover's legs and started to kiss a trail from 
Alex's belly to the dark curls at his groin. He nuzzled his cock with 
the stubble that still had to be removed from his chin and teasingly 
kissed the tip of it, bringing off a stream of pre-cum which he lapped 
up hungrily. 

Alex felt Mulder bathe his cock with his tongue, lapping over the 
shaft, sucking at the head that poked out of the foreskin. He let out 
a loud moan of pleasure as Mulder began to take his length into his 
mouth slowly, swirling his tongue around. 

One hand went down to caress Alex's balls, feeling the hairs that 
covered the sac, then down further to his opening. Alex willingly 
brought his knees up to allow Mulder better access. 

Mulder brought his mouth off of Alex's cock for a brief second to coat 
two fingers with his saliva and the pre-cum that was in his mouth. 
Alex did not resist as one finger teased, then gained entrance to his 
body. Mulder could feel Alex's pulse quicken and pulled his mouth off 
his cock before he came. He looked up at the expression of love on his 
face, his eyes half closed, his lips red with passion. 

Two fingers were inside Alex, stretching him wide, caressing his 
prostate. He writhed against those fingers, wanting so much more 
inside him. He had broken out into a sweat and was moaning an 
incoherent stream of German and English. 

Mulder smiled down at his lover, he was so beautiful when he was in 
the throes of passion. He scooped up the spot of pre-cum that had 
reappeared on the tip of Alex's cock and mingled it with his own to 
slick up his own penis. He added some saliva, hoping he would not hurt 
his lover. He brought Alex's legs to rest upon his shoulders before 
slowly entering the hot channel. 

Alex threw his head back against the small bundle of clothes that made 
his pillow. He hissed at the initial invasion but soon relaxed. He saw 
the love and devotion in Mulder's eyes as he was slowly penetrated, 
his thighs caressed, his chest stroked. 

Finally, Mulder was fully embedded inside his lover. He bent down to 
capture a kiss before wrapping his arms around him and slowly moving 
in and out. 

Alex moaned and kissed Mulder again and again. How he loved this 
sensation, how he relished the gentleness his lover had with him. 

"Oh Fox. Yes, my love, you make me feel so good." 

Mulder kissed Alex one more time before moving up to pump faster and 
harder. 

"God, yes, Fox." Alex moaned, the feeling almost more than he could 
bear. 

Mulder pumped faster inside his lover, moving one hand down to stroke 
his cock. Alex came immediately, with a cry, coating them both with 
semen. Mulder tightly wrapped his arms around Alex, grinding his cock 
between their torsos, making Alex come again as he came himself, 
pumping hard, milking his cock of the fluid. He collapsed on top of 
Alex, breathing heavily, feeling kisses on his shoulders. 

They were joined for what seemed like an eternity until Mulder pulled 
out of Alex, grabbing the small towel to clean them up. He spread one 
of the blankets on the floor, where they lay, embraced, for a long 
time, dozing, wrapped in each other's warmth. 

Finally, Alex moved. "We should not sleep all day; we must be ready 
for tomorrow." He kissed Mulder on his tired lips, barely gaining a 
kiss back. 

Mulder moaned but sat up just the same. 

Alex smirked at the sight of his lover, his eyes tired, still groggy. 
He smelled of sex and sweat, which made Alex's cock twitch. He ignored 
the stirring down below and moved to put on his clothes. 

Alex smirked then kissed his lover again. "Come, it is my turn to 
shave you." His eyes glittered. "Then I shall give you a sponge bath." 


  

  

  



The next day was filled with nervous pacing and jumpiness, both men 
anxious for this journey to come to an end. They would look at each 
other with hope and happiness, hugging each other fiercely, not 
wanting to make love for fear of missing their signal. Finally, the 
lights flickered on and off. 

"Come, this is our ten minute warning. Strip out of your clothes, and 
put the ones you have laid out on." Alex nearly punched himself for 
that remark. He was supposed to let Mulder do things for himself. 
//The heat of the moment caught me up. I will not do it again.// 

Soon they were dressed in their fresh clothes, bags in their hands, 
looking each other over. 

"Do we pass?" Alex asked. 

"I think we look pretty good. I was thinking, we should just leave the 
winter gear here; we won't need it, and it might draw attention to 
us." 

Alex nearly clapped his hands at that remark. "Yes, good idea. Are you 
ready?" 

"Yes, I'm ready." 

Alex kissed Mulder quickly and squeezed his hand. "Let's see our new 
home." 

  



Chapter 7: A New Beginning 

Mulder and Krycek emerged from the ship's hold to breathe in fresh air 
for the first time in three weeks. The warm night air greeted them, 
and a gentle breeze kissed their cheeks as they walked along the deck. 
The deck was a bustle of activity, the ship's hands busy unloading the 
hold of it's cargo. Not wanting to prolong their stay, Mulder & Krycek 
silently walked down the gangplank and off the ship. 

They made their way down the dock, various other ships loading and 
unloading cargo. When they had made their way through the cartons and 
crates, they found themselves at a street with a church on the corner. 
Alex stopped under a streetlight and got a piece of paper out of his 
bag. This had directions and a map on it. 

"We turn right and walk down this street two kilometers until we get 
to a square. We meet our contact at a cafÈ called El Matador. That 
should not be hard, hmmm?" He looked at Mulder who had an uncertain 
look on his face. 

"Hey," Alex grabbed Mulder's hand and squeezed it for a second before 
letting go. "We are free. We have just begun a new life, don't be 
sad." 

Mulder took a deep breath and smiled as cheerfully as he could back at 
Alex. He didn't feel right, something was wrong. Still, he walked 
alongside Alex, down the street to the square. People passed by them, 
enjoying a walk; couples in love, basking in the night air. Mulder's 
head turned this way and that, his heart racing. He was waiting for 
someone to stop them, to arrest them for escaping. 

Alex looked at his lover, noticing his distress. "Fox, are you well?" 

Mulder smiled weakly. //I don't know where I am. This place is so 
different, so foreign. What if the Nazis followed us here? What if the 
Americans find me and arrest me for being a traitor?// Mulder's 
breathing began to quicken, and sweat formed on his brow. 

Alex recognized his lover's anxiety, and led Mulder over to a bench 
situated off the street. They sat down, and Alex took Mulder's hands 
in his and turned to face him. 

"Fox. Fox, look at me." 

Mulder gulped a breath and looked into his lover's eyes. The light 
from the street lamps made them shine in the semi-darkness. He wanted 
to go back to their house in Germany; things were good there; they 
should have never escaped, they would have been safe; he was sure of 
that. 

"Fox, I want you to calm down." 

Mulder gulped air in again, beginning to hyperventilate. 

Alex squeezed Mulder's hands and spoke calmly. "Fox, relax. If you 
don't relax, you are going to pass out." Alex was shocked at Mulder's 
reaction, though he hid it well. He'd known that he'd totally broken 
Mulder's confidence as he had done to so many others over the years 
that he was in charge of the prison, but this was the first time he 
had to face the results of his actions. The fact that it was the man 
he loved falling apart just from walking down a public street only 
made it harder for him. 

Mulder nodded his head, and tried in vain to keep his breathing under 
control. He concentrated on his breaths, making them deeper and 
lasting longer. 

"Good, good. Now close your eyes." 

Mulder whimpered in panic and shook his head. 

"Close your eyes, I won't let go of you." Mulder still hesitated, 
terrified, and Alex whispered, "Trust me." 

Mulder closed his eyes, but his breathing was still quick. He clenched 
Alex's hands in his own, squeezing them so hard that they hurt. 

"I want you to imagine a place. A place where only you can go to be 
safe." 

"C-c-can you be there too?" 

"No. This is just your place. You can go there, and nothing will hurt 
you." Alex had to struggle to keep his voice from breaking when 
Mulder's question showed that despite everything he associated safety 
with him. He vowed to undo what he had done and only prayed that 
Mulder would be able to forgive him. He tried not to think about the 
possibility that a strong, healthy Mulder might not want anything to 
do with him. 

Mulder's breathing slowly started to ease. 

"Now. You are in your place, your safe place. Do you like it, Fox? Is 
it a nice place?" 

"Yes. It's...it's warm and it feels good." 

"Good. Now, I want you to slow your breathing and relax. Can you do 
that for me, Fox?" 

"Yes. I think I can." Mulder concentrated on breathing slowly in his 
safe place. This was good. After a few minutes, he started to release 
the deathgrip he had on Alex's hands. 

"Relax, Fox. Relax your head, your neck, your shoulders. That's it. 
Feel yourself relaxing. Your lungs are opening up, taking large, 
healthy breaths of air, your back muscles are unwinding. Good, that's 
my Fox. Nothing is going to hurt you. We are safe now, no one is going 
to harm you." 

Mulder opened his eyes and looked at his lover. "Do you promise?" 

"I promise." He squeezed Mulder's hands again before getting out his 
handkerchief and wiping Mulder's face of sweat. He had never counted 
on this, on Mulder being so afraid. He would have to work on that 
later. 

"I'm...I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me. We were walking down 
the street, and then I just started feeling funny." 

"It's to be expected, Fox. You have not been out in the world for some 
time." Alex pushed a lock of hair back that had fallen forward onto 
Mulder's forehead, pressing a quick kiss against the skin. "Do you 
think you can continue? We do not have far to go. When we get to the 
cafÈ, we will have some wine, hmmm?" 

Mulder nodded, the sweat on his body starting to dry in the night 
breeze. Slowly, they stood and continued their journey down the 
street. A few minutes later, they reached the square and the cafÈ. 
They sat down, and a waiter came over to their table. Alex ordered for 
them in flawless Spanish. Mulder looked at his lover in awe; this 
man's talents never ceased to amaze him. 

Alex fumbled for a cigarette, then offered one to Mulder. 

"No thanks," he whispered. 

"Are you sure?" 

Mulder nodded his head. He looked around. Argentina looked like a nice 
place. Good looking people everywhere, strolling around without a care 
in the world. It was hard to believe that war still raged across most 
of the world. The waiter came with two glasses of red wine. Alex 
picked his up right away and sipped it, his eyes closing for a minute. 


"Mmmmmm, I've missed wine. Come, Fox, drink, it's very good." 

Mulder reached out and brought the fragile glass to his lips, noticing 
he was shaking slightly. He took a small sip of wine, then another. 

"Well? Was I right?" 

"Yes, it's very good." 

"Are you sure you don't want a cigarette?" 

"No, thank you." 

Alex reached over and grabbed his hand again, stroking it with his 
thumb. "I meant it when I said nothing can harm you here. We are an 
ocean away from what we left behind." 

Mulder wanted to believe Alex, but he still had a nagging suspicion in 
the back of his mind that something was not right. They sat there, 
sipping their wine, enjoying the night. Mulder was just starting to 
fully relax when a man came to their table. 

"Alex Krycek." 

Alex stood and shook his hand. "Sir, so nice to see you again." 

The man looked down at Mulder then back at Alex. "You have brought 
someone with you?" 

"Yes. I could not leave him behind." 

Mulder's pulse began to quicken again as the man sat down and joined 
them. He felt dizzy, and his breathing sped up. 

"Fox?" Alex tightened his grip on Mulder's hand. "Fox, are you not 
well?" 

"I'm...I'm okay. It must be the wine; it's going to my head." 

"Why don't you close your eyes for a moment and regain your 
composure?" 

Mulder nodded and closed his eyes. He thought back to what Alex had 
said earlier about his safe place. He imagined himself there, alone, 
at peace. He felt warm and started to calm down. 

"Is your friend all right, Alex?" 

"Yes, he is just a little shaken from our journey, as am I. It was a 
most-eventful-voyage, but he will be fine once he is rested." 

"You should have told me you were bringing a companion, I would have 
prepared documents for him." 

"I am sorry, it was...we left in haste." Alex took a sip of his wine 
to take the bitterness out of his mouth. He would never forgive 
himself for almost leaving Mulder behind. He looked back up at his 
friend. "Will it be any trouble to get him papers?" 

"It should not be a problem, but it might take a few weeks." 

"That will be more than adequate. Thank you." 

The man slid two envelopes across the table to Alex. "One envelope 
contains money, the other your papers. Your funds will be transferred 
from the bank in Switzerland upon your request. The other envelope 
contains name of the bank and the manager there. Do not talk to anyone 
else about your situation." 

Alex nodded his head. 

"In the meantime, I have taken the liberty and booked you into a suite 
at one of Buenos Aires' finest hotels. I will give you a few days to 
rest, then I will have some houses for you to look at." 

"Thank you again for all your help, I could have not done this without 
you." 

"That's what friends are for, Alex. I will, however, require a favor 
next month. I have someone that will need a place to stay for a few 
days." 

Alex nodded his head, "Yes, anything, just ask." 

Mulder opened his eyes. He had missed the entire conversation, but he 
was glad both men were smiling at each other. 

Alex turned and smiled at his lover. "Ah, he is with us once again." 
Taking Mulder's hand in his, Alex motioned from his friend to Mulder 
and performed the introductions, "This is my lover, Fox Mulder. Fox, 
an old friend of my father's, Malcolm Grey." 

"It is an honor to meet you, Mr. Mulder." He reached across and shook 
his hand. "I hope you enjoy your new home here in Argentina." 

"Thank you," Mulder said, his voice just above a whisper. 

"Now, gentlemen, if you would gather your belongings and follow me, I 
will take you to your hotel." 

They followed the man with the silver hair and smooth voice to a grand 
hotel. A red carpet stairway led to golden embossed doors, which were 
opened by a doorman dressed in top hat and tails. This led to a large, 
marble-floored lobby, laid with Persian rugs and expensive 
furnishings. The warm red richness of mahogany was prevalent 
throughout, from the front desk to the staircase banister. A young man 
sat at a grand piano in one corner, playing to entertain the people as 
they came and went. 

A lady in a fur coat, despite the heat, passed Mulder and Krycek, a 
man behind her carrying a small poodle wearing a diamond-studded 
collar that matched her bracelet. The other patrons of this 
establishment were also well dressed, making Mulder feel like he was a 
pauper. 

They checked in and went up to their suite, the decor was equally 
grand; marble floors, Louis XIV furnishings, velvet draperies. If 
Mulder wasn't in South America, he could have sworn that he was in one 
of the finest hotels in Europe. The silver-haired man tipped the 
bellhop, who quickly left the room. 

"I will leave you now. I shall call for you on Thursday, after you 
have rested. Enjoy your stay, gentlemen." 

Alex shook the man's hand again, "Thank you again, Uncle Malcolm." 

"Again, it was my pleasure, Alex." The man turned and left, shutting 
the door behind him. 

Mulder stood in the middle of the room, unsure what to do next. He 
felt Alex come up behind him and wrap his arms around him. 

"We are finally alone." He kissed Mulder's ear. "We can do whatever we 
want, whenever we want, and not worry about anyone, or anything." He 
kissed Mulder's ear again, feeling the tension melt away from his body 
with his kisses. 

Mulder leaned his head back, nuzzling it into Alex's shoulder. "What 
time is it? What day is it, for that matter?" 

Alex laughed, "It is 9 in the evening, and it is Monday. Have you made 
plans, already? Do you need to be somewhere?" 

"No, I...I just wanted to know." 

Alex turned Mulder around so he was facing him. He gave him a fierce 
hug before letting him go. "I am going to call down for some supper. 
In the meantime, why don't we have a bath? Alex's eyes glittered green 
in the glow from the crystal chandelier. 

Mulder couldn't hide his smile. He missed their nightly bath and what 
followed it. His cock started to harden as he thought of their wet 
bodies pressed against each other. 

"Go start the bath; I will join you momentarily." Alex playfully 
tapped Mulder on the ass as he walked by. He called down for supper 
then joined Mulder, ensuring to tell the front desk to remind their 
staff not to disturb him in the bath. 

The bathroom was unlike any Mulder had seen in his life. It was as big 
as a bedroom. A large, claw-footed bathtub with gold fixtures was in 
the middle of the room. There was an ornately carved dressing table 
with lights around the mirror nestled in a corner. A large, cushioned 
stool sat in front of it. Jars of powder and perfumes sat atop the 
grand structure. Against a wall, large towels were on a warming rack 
which also held robes and pajamas. A crystal chandelier was overhead, 
casting a warm glow throughout the room. Sheer draperies covered the 
window. Mulder stood there, staring at everything until Alex came in 
to join him. 

"It is nice, isn't it? Come, I have been thinking about a bath for 
weeks." Alex strode over and started the taps, filling the large tub 
with warm water. Soaps and small bottles of bath oil were held in a 
golden basket along one side. 

Mulder started undoing the buttons on his shirt. Suddenly, Alex's 
hands joined his and took over the process. 

Alex leaned in and kissed Mulder, his tongue probing inside his mouth. 
His hands flew over the buttons on Mulder's shirt, making short work 
of them. He pulled the shirt back and practically ripped off the 
undershirt he was wearing and dove for the now exposed nipples with 
his mouth. 

Mulder ran his hands down Alex's back and pulled his shirt off up, 
over his head then undid Alex's trousers. Alex did the same and soon 
they were naked, their heated skin rubbing against each other. Mulder 
molded his mouth to Alex's, his hands wandering freely over his body, 
cupping his ass, teasing his nipples. Soon, they were writhing against 
each other, the friction of their bodies threatening to set the room 
on fire. 

Suddenly, Alex stood back, "Wait, Fox, wait." 

Mulder pulled back and stared at his lover as if he was mad. 

"Let's get into the tub before the water gets cold." 

Mulder smiled and followed Alex into the warm water. He found a sponge 
alongside washcloths in a basket beside the tub. He held it under the 
water for a minute to soften it, ran soap along it, then began the 
ritual he loved so much. He washed his lover from head to toe, pausing 
to tease his nipples and other sensitive parts of Alex's body. He paid 
special attention to his cock, pulling the foreskin back and rubbing 
the sponge along the hard shaft. 

"Oh, yes, Fox." Alex bit his lip. If he kept that up, he was going to 
come. As if he heard his thoughts, Mulder moved the sponge down a leg, 
cleaning and caressing all the way. 

When Mulder was done, he surrendered the sponge to Alex, who began to 
do the same to Mulder. He could see the passion rising in Mulder's 
eyes from his caressing and rubbing the sponge along every inch of his 
body. Alex could feel the pre-cum start to come up out of his cock 
just from looking at him. 

He leaned forward and started kissing Mulder on the mouth, moving down 
to his neck, lingering at his collarbone, marking him as his own. He 
then moved lower, to Mulder's nipples again, which were hard and ready 
to be sucked on. Mulder moaned and groaned, sloshing the water onto 
the marble floor as Alex played with a nipple and sucked on the other. 


"Alex...Alex...I..." Mulder let out a moan then a sigh. White fluid 
began to show on the surface of the water. 

"Are you a little sensitive, tonight, my love?" Alex stood, reaching 
for his lover to stand with him. 

Mulder stood and faced Alex. They got out of the tub, Alex pulling the 
drain. 

"I'm sorry," Mulder said as Alex handed him a towel. 

"Nonsense. I take it as a compliment that I can make you feel so good. 
Besides, I will have fun bringing you to the same satisfaction again 
later. Although it may take longer. And that will be fun too." Alex 
grabbed Mulder by the back of the head and brought him to kiss him 
once again. 

Mulder smiled as he pulled away, but then noticed the state Alex was 
in. 

"What about you?" 

"What about me? I am fine." 

"No, you're not." Mulder immediately sank to his knees and took Alex's 
cock into his mouth. It did not take more than a couple of licks with 
his tongue until his lover was shooting a hot stream of creamy fluid 
down his throat. 

"I think we both needed that." Alex brought his love up to kiss him, 
to taste himself on his lips. He smiled. "That made me very hungry. 
Are you hungry, Fox?" 

"Yes." Mulder's eyes were full of satisfaction and love; he wanted 
Alex to throw him down and make love to him all night long. 

"Let's eat." 

Each of them toweled off, switching to towel each other off instead. 
When their rubbing forced a moan from Mulder, Alex stood back and 
reached for a robe. "We have to eat something," he laughed. He then 
moved closer and kissed Mulder briefly. "I want to make love to you 
properly, in a bed, then wake up with you in my arms." He did up the 
robe, a towel around his neck to catch the drips from his hair. 

Mulder let out a frustrated sigh but put a robe on just the same. Alex 
was right, it would be better in a nice, soft bed. A flutter ran 
through his stomach as he thought of waking next to Alex tomorrow, the 
next day, and the day after that. He was so lucky he let him come with 
him to Argentina. 

"Fox, are you coming?" 

Mulder followed Alex into the living room, where a dining area was set 
up. Candles glowed in the center, and a bottle of wine was open, 
breathing the nighttime air. Bread was in a basket before them, and an 
assortment of fruits and cheeses were laid out. They both sat as the 
table was set, across from each other. 

Mulder lifted the large silver dome that covered his food. When he saw 
a bowl of soup in front of him, he frowned, then looked across to see 
that Alex had the same meal. 

"We have not eaten in two days. The meals that we were provided in the 
past three weeks were not that good. As a matter of fact, most of them 
were quite inedible. I thought soup would give our stomachs a chance 
to get used to good food again." 

Mulder smiled at Alex. "You're always looking out for me, aren't you?" 


"Fox," Alex reached across and grabbed Mulder's hand. "I cannot tell 
you how much I want to take care of you, to treat you right. You mean 
everything to me." 

Mulder blushed at the words, and he looked down at his bowl of soup. 
No one had ever said that he meant anything to anyone. "I...thank you 
for bringing me with you." 

"There was never any question," Alex whispered. Perhaps if he told 
himself that enough times, he would genuinely believe it. Mulder 
stared at him, knowing perfectly well that Alex had intended to leave 
him behind almost up till the last minute, but he was so happy to be 
with Alex that he didn't say anything. "Now, let's eat our soup, 
before it gets cold." 

They ate their supper and drank the wine, both of them soon yawning. 
Finally, Alex stood and offered Mulder his hand. He took it and 
followed Alex into the bedroom. This was also full of antiques and 
elaborate draperies. A window was open, bringing in the cool night 
air, the sheer curtains barely moving in the breeze. 

Alex undid the tie on Mulder's robe and motioned for him to lie on the 
large bed. When Mulder was lying on his back, naked, Alex doffed his 
robe and towel, and climbed up beside him. He rubbed Mulder's feet 
with his hands, soothing him, massaging him. He then followed with his 
lips, kissing up Mulder's legs, first the left, then the right. He 
took his time, exploring his lower body with his hands, caressing the 
muscles. He lingered at Mulder's knees, bringing giggles when he 
licked and kissed the backs of them. When he got to Mulder's crotch, 
Alex merely placed a kiss on the tip of Mulder's hardening cock and 
continued on his journey up his body. 

He kissed the palms of his hands and every finger. He slowly made his 
way up one arm, then another, as he had done with his legs, enjoying 
the fact that Mulder's elbows were just as ticklish as his knees. He 
was now at Mulder's chest, kissing and sucking on his nipples, licking 
the outline of his ribs and muscles. He lingered at his neck, marking 
him yet again at his collarbone. Finally, he got to his face, kissing 
each eyelid, his nose, his forehead, his chin. He looked down at his 
lover for a second; such bliss showed on his face. He sat back and 
reached down with his hands to spread Mulder's legs. He lay between 
them, holding his lover, caressing his face. Only then did he kiss his 
lips. 

It was if electricity was passing between them, their lips parted so 
their tongues could dance together, searching, exploring now familiar 
territory. Alex started to grind himself against Mulder, their 
erections rubbing together, mixing their pre-cum in a sticky film 
across their bellies. He felt Mulder's hands come down to cup his ass 
again then move up across his back. 

Alex started back down Mulder's body, tracing a trail with his tongue, 
until he was at his groin. He nuzzled Mulder's cock with his cheek, 
breathing in his intoxicating scent. He licked up the hard shaft, 
bringing a shudder from his lover. His tongue lingered at the top, 
swirling around and around before his mouth covered the member, 
sucking and lapping up the essence flowing from the tip. He then moved 
down to Mulder's balls, licking and sucking on them, bringing whimpers 
of ecstasy from above. 

"Please, Alex, please." 

"Does this feel good?" 

"Yes. I can't stand it, it's so good." 

"All in time, Fox." 

Another whimper was heard as Alex grabbed Mulder's legs and hauled 
them up over his shoulders. His mouth came down on Mulder's balls 
again, sucking and nipping at the fragile skin. Lower his mouth went, 
to the perineum and finally to the puckered opening. He spread 
Mulder's ass cheeks with his fingers as his tongue dipped in and out 
of the tight hole, teasing and taunting so that Mulder was soon 
writhing on the bed. 

"Oh, Alex...please, Alex, I'm begging you." 

Alex smirked as he left the bed for a moment to retrieve the tin of 
lubricant from his bag. He climbed back on the bed and looked at 
Mulder in the throes of passion. His cock was purple and weeping large 
amounts of pre-cum, his nipples were tight buds, his lips swollen and 
kiss bruised. 

Alex put Mulder's legs over his shoulders again before coating a 
finger with the lubricant. He entered it into Mulder's ass, stroking 
the smooth interior, spreading the jelly around. Mulder opened up 
easily in his state and a second finger easily joined the first. Alex 
caressed his prostate, watching him jump and writhe even more. The 
whimpers grew louder, and Alex could stand it no more. He slicked up 
his hard cock and drove home with one push. 

Mulder cried out with pleasure as Alex entered him. He had been 
imagining this for so long, making love, real love in a bed with 
pillows and softness. A pair of lips were at his and he kissed them, 
his eyes closed, his legs spread wide. He dug his hands into Alex's 
shoulders as he started to drive into him strongly and with purpose. 

"Fox, my beautiful Fox," Alex whispered into his ear. He had wanted to 
make this last a long time, but the feeling was too much, and he 
started pumping fast into his lover. He could feel the tingling low in 
his abdomen, and he knew it wasn't going to last long at all. He 
reached down and grabbed Mulder's cock, stroking in time with his 
thrusts. "Come, Fox, come for me." 

Mulder let out a cry as his semen coated them both, moaning Alex's 
name. Alex let out his own cry, and he collapsed on his lover, his 
balls releasing his seed deep within his lover. 

They lay there, joined for awhile, until Alex reached over the side of 
the bed to retrieve the towel that he dropped before and cleaned them 
up. Mulder barely felt Alex kiss him before he fell asleep. 

  

  

  



The next morning, Mulder was woken by birds singing and sunlight 
coming through the window. That had been his first restful sleep since 
they left Berlin. Actually, thinking of the bombings, Alex's 
occasional nightmares and his own, it was probably the first truly 
contented sleep he'd had since the night before he left on the bombing 
run that led to him becoming Alex's prisoner. Who'd have thought it 
would take a war for him to find love? He looked over at Alex, his 
face snuggled in his pillow, his naked form visible underneath the 
sheet. 

Mulder pulled the sheet back and looked down at his lover. //So 
beautiful. Alex calls me beautiful, but he is the beautiful one.// He 
bent down and kissed his shoulder, licking his lips after he did so. 
The taste of Alex on his lips made him want more. He straddled his 
still sleeping lover and kissed his back and down, his hands caressing 
the muscles underneath the skin. Alex woke to Mulder's touch and 
moaned encouragement. 

Mulder moved his mouth further down Alex's back to the base of his 
spine, nuzzling the fine hairs that grew there with his 
stubble-covered chin. He felt Alex jump as he moved down to his ass, 
kneading the round globes, his fingers probing inside the crack, 
teasing the opening. 

Alex moaned when Mulder stroked the puckered opening to his ass. He 
knew what Mulder wanted, and he was going to let him do just that. He 
wondered why he'd been so hesitant to take that final step years 
earlier, then he realized that it wouldn't have been the same with 
anyone else. It was the love that he and Mulder shared that made it so 
pleasurable for him. He could never give up control like that with 
anyone else. 

Mulder's mouth went down to where Alex's leg met his ass, sucking and 
biting at the skin, marking him as he had been marked the night 
before. When he was pleased with the large purple bruise, he moved on. 
He spread Alex's legs and reached for the tin of lubricant. He coated 
two fingers liberally, one pressing against the opening. With a little 
teasing, he was let in. 

"Oh, god, Fox, that feels good." 

Mulder only smiled as he lubricated the passage well. When he was 
satisfied that he could penetrate Alex with only minor discomfort, he 
pulled Alex up onto all fours. He hastily applied the lubricant to his 
cock and started to push inside. 

Alex had been anticipating this, the time when Mulder instigated love 
making sessions, and he was not disappointed. He watched as Mulder 
reached over for the towel from the night before, positioning it to 
catch Alex's semen. He quivered as Mulder's cock inched inside him, 
his own hard cock dripping onto the towel below. 

Mulder fully embedded himself in Alex with one final push, stopping 
for a second to catch his breath. He leaned over his lover, caressing 
his front and pinching his nipples, gaining whimpers from below. 

"Fox...you feel so good inside me." 

Mulder began to move in and out of Alex, slowly at first, but then 
faster and faster with every stroke. He could feel his balls slap 
against Alex's; he could smell his lover underneath him; he could hear 
the moans and whimpers coming from him. 

Alex's arms gave way as Mulder reached forward to grab his cock. He 
could not remember ever being so aroused, so hard, so loved. He rested 
forward on his elbows, this angle giving Mulder a better connection 
with his prostate. He started to fuck Mulder's hand, driving Mulder's 
cock in and out of him at a rapid pace. 

"Oh god...oh Fox...my Fox, I love you...oh god!" Alex came with a 
strangled cry, long streams of semen shooting out of his cock and onto 
the towel below. 

Mulder continued to slam into Alex's ass, finally letting go, his 
orgasm making him shudder and shake. He collapsed to the side, still 
embedded in Alex. They lay there, joined together for a few minutes, 
until Mulder pulled out of Alex and cleaned them up. He returned to 
the bed, curling up around his lover before sleep claimed them yet 
again. 

A few hours later, they woke, still in each other's arms, Alex 
caressing Mulder's hair. 

"Good morning." 

"Good morning." 

Alex kissed Mulder on his sleepy lips, a grin replacing the pout. 
Mulder then snuggled closer, his head buried in Alex's chest. 

"Fox, we should get up." 

Mulder only groaned. 

"What do you want to do today?" 

"I don't know. What do you want to do?" 

"No, it's up to you." 

Mulder stretched and yawned then propped himself up on his elbow to 
look at Alex. He traced the outline of his face with a finger before 
kissing him again. 

"Did you really mean it when you said you loved me?" 

"Yes, I did." 

Mulder smiled. "I love you too." 

Alex returned the smile. "Now, what do you want to do today? You are 
avoiding the question." 

Mulder sighed. "I think we need some new clothes. The fashions are 
different here." 

"I agree. We should try to fit in as much as possible. I know a very 
good tailor in Plaza San Martin." 

"You've been to Buenos Aires before, haven't you?" Mulder asked. 

"Yes, I was here a few years ago with my father. He was interested in 
buying a hotel here and moving his business out of Germany. He was 
nervous when Hitler started to spread his propaganda. Unfortunately, 
he never realized his dream. He died in his sleep a few months after 
our trip. My mother also died a few weeks after that; I always thought 
it was of a broken heart." Alex stared off into the distance for a 
minute, before continuing. "He did, however, liquidate his assets and 
move them to a bank in Switzerland, where they still are." 

Mulder caressed Alex's cheek with the back of his hand. "I'm sorry 
about your parents, you seem to have been close to them." 

"I was. I still miss them terribly, after all these years." 

Mulder hugged Alex, knowing the pain of losing someone close. No 
wonder Alex had been so harsh when they first met; losing both his 
parents, his wife and his only child in such a short period of time 
must have hurt him so much that he wasn't willing to let anyone else 
get close to him and take the chance of losing them too. 

"Come on, Fox, let's get up. Buenos Aires is too beautiful a city to 
waste all day in bed." He kissed Mulder on the lips before adding, 
"Although I want to stay in bed with you very much." He grinned at 
Mulder. "But the anticipation will make it that much better when I get 
you back here." 

Mulder blushed as he watched his lover roll over and get out of bed. 
This was their first morning together as real lovers, and it gave him 
a warm feeling. 

Alex called down for some breakfast while they got dressed. After they 
ate, they went to the tailors, walking the few blocks to Plaza San 
Martin. Mulder was doing fine until they got to the Plaza itself, 
where the mid-morning bustle was too much for him. Alex sat them down 
on a bench while Mulder did his breathing exercises and tried to calm 
down. 

Alex gazed at his lover who looked miserable. The sweat was pouring 
off of him, trickling down the back of his neck and his cheeks. 
Mulder's face also had this pale green tinge to it. He had to find a 
way to get rid of Mulder's paranoia and get him to regain his trust in 
himself, his confidence. 

"Are you all right?" 

"I'll be fine in just a minute." Mulder shook his head. "I...I'm 
sorry, Alex. I can't control it, it just happens...in the room, I'm 
fine, when I get outside, I...I..." He started to breathe rapidly 
again. He closed his eyes and tried, in vain, to relax. 

"It is all right, Fox, take your time." He squeezed his hand for 
reassurance. 

About twenty minutes later, Mulder was calm enough to continue to the 
tailor's. Alex and Mulder were measured for new wardrobes, picking a 
few ready-made pieces to wear until their clothing was ready. It took 
some prodding, but Alex finally got the color and fabric choices out 
of Mulder that he wanted. He even managed to get Mulder to express a 
preference about some of Alex's own clothes, things that Alex intended 
to wear to please him. When they were done, it was mid-day and Alex 
was hungry. 

"What do you say to some lunch? I know a great restaurant across the 
Plaza from here." 

Mulder looked at the ground and did not say anything. 

"What? What is it?" Alex put a finger under Mulder's chin and lifted 
it so their eyes met. 

"Nothing. Lunch sounds fine," Mulder whispered. 

Alex sighed in exasperation. "No, it is not fine. What is bothering 
you?" 

Mulder chewed on his lower lip. While that action would have been sexy 
under any other circumstance, it sent off an alarm in Alex's head. He 
knew something was wrong. Alex smiled at his lover and kept his voice 
calm and soothing. 

"Fox, if something is bothering you, I would like you to tell me." 

"You'll get mad." 

"I will not get mad." 

"I..." Mulder broke off. 

"Yes? Fox, please tell me." Alex wanted to grab him and hug him, 
instead he squeezed his upper arm with his hand. 

"I'm tired. That...episode I had earlier wore me out. I want to go 
back to the hotel and get some sleep." 

"Is that all?" 

Mulder managed a tiny smile, but his eyes still had worry in them. 
"You're not going to punish me?" 

"Punish you? For being tired? I want you to realize that you are not 
my prisoner anymore, you're my lover. We are free, you are a free man 
with free thoughts. If you are tired, I want you to tell me. Same with 
if you are hungry, or thirsty, or do not like something. I value your 
opinion." Alex decided to try a different tack. "You've told me before 
that you like to please me, that it makes you happy." He waited until 
Fox nodded before continuing, "Well, it makes me happy to please you 
too. Te quiero, mi hermoso Fox." 

"Oh." Mulder smiled, his eyes still showing a hint of worry. "What 
does that mean?" 

"It means I love you, my beautiful Fox." 

Mulder smiled for real now. 

"Come, let's get you back to bed." 

They walked the short distance back to the hotel. Soon, Alex had 
Mulder dozing in the bed while he went into the parlor where he made 
two telephone calls. He then went back to the bedroom and sat on the 
side of the bed. 

"Fox." 

"Hmmmm?" 

"Fox, I have some business to attend to. I will be back in a few 
hours. Will you be all right by yourself?" 

"Hmmm. Yes." 

Alex quickly kissed Mulder on the forehead then left the hotel. He 
walked back to Plaza San Martin where he joined his silver-haired 
friend. 

"Thank you for meeting me on such short notice, sir." 

"My pleasure. I have not been to this restaurant in weeks. How is your 
friend?" 

"He's resting. He is still tired from our journey." 

"If I were Fox Mulder, I would be tired as well." 

Alex's face showed no expression, "What do you mean?" 

"I have been following your notorious military career, Alex. I 
promised your father that I would look out for you, and I am 
fulfilling my duty. He never warned me, however, that you would turn 
into a heartless torture monger." 

Alex's mouth opened then closed again. His eyes dropped to the linen 
tablecloth flapping in the breeze from the open windows. 

"Why, Alex? Why did you do those things I read about? Not only Lidice, 
but Kharkov, Stalingrad...those poor boys you tortured for days. Not 
to mention your interrogation techniques in that prison..." 

"I am aware of what I have done." Alex lit a cigarette, the blue smoke 
swirling around in the air. 

"So many times I wanted to go back to Germany and find out what 
happened to the young man I met on that business trip, so full of hope 
and life." 

"You know what happened." 

"We all lost people in the war, Alex." 

Alex's eyes snapped up to meet the other man's gaze. "You were not 
there. You did not see what was happening. You did not see your four 
year old daughter and wife get mangled by their own house collapsing 
on them from a mortar blast." 

"Still, we did not all become monsters." 

"Is that what I am to you now? A monster? Someone without feelings? 
When I wore that uniform, it gave me the power I needed to seek my 
revenge on the people that hurt me. I am no longer that man." 

"I know what you did to Mulder in your prison. Rescuing him from death 
will not make you feel better." 

"I did not rescue him to make me feel better." Alex kept his voice 
calm, but inside he was enraged. "I love Fox." 

"I do not understand. One minute he is your prisoner, the next he is 
your servant, then he is your lover." 

Alex took a long drag on his cigarette. He knew he was going to have 
this conversation with this man sooner or later. It was better to get 
it all out in the open at the beginning. His eyes dropped to the 
tablecloth again. 

"The second I laid eyes on him, I wanted him. He did something to me 
that no other had, ever. I thought about him all the time. When I was 
beating him, I wanted to posses him, to own him. When I would try to 
sleep at night, I would see his face and want nothing more than to 
hold him in my arms. I would get so frustrated when I could not that I 
would beat him harder." 

Alex's hands were now shaking as he took the final drag from his 
cigarette, and his voice fell to a whisper as he continued, "I have no 
excuse for my behavior, other than it was war and a crazy time. 
Everyone did what they had to do survive, including me." He stubbed 
out his cigarette and reached for his glass of water, taking a healthy 
gulp. His eyes were still downcast and his voice still low. "I slowly 
came to realize that what I was doing to him was wrong, that I wanted 
to love him not hurt him. That's when I moved him into my house, so I 
could protect him from further harm. Now, I am trying to right my 
wrongdoing. But believe me when I tell you that I do love him. I have 
never felt closer to another human being since I met my wife." He 
looked up with a terrible sorrow and fear in his eyes. "I can only 
hope that he still wants to be with me when he's himself again. 

Grey looked at Alex, expression still blank. "I am glad you can admit 
your faults, my friend. Let us hope no one tries to take revenge for 
your actions." 

A shudder ran through Alex; he had not thought of that before. 

"As for your American friend, I know you are telling me the truth. And 
now I know why you want this." He took a small package from his breast 
pocket and passed it over to Alex who put it in his own pocket. 

"Thank you," Alex whispered. He looked up at his friend again and 
smiled. 

"Be very careful, Alex." 

"I will." 

"Good. Now, let's have some lunch." 

  

  

  



Later that evening, Alex was anxious to try and break Mulder out of 
his shell. With the serum that his friend had given him, it would be 
easier. They were sitting on a couch, Mulder in his arms, listening to 
the radio, when Alex broke the silence. 

"Fox, I want to try something." 

"Hmmm?" 

Alex sat up and looked at Mulder. "I want to try and rid you of your 
panic attacks and anxiety, would you like that?" 

Mulder nodded, "Very much." 

Alex stood and turned the radio off. Then he motioned for Mulder to 
sit in a large, overstuffed chair. "Make yourself comfortable." 

Mulder sat down and settled into the chair. Alex sat down in front of 
him. 

"Close your eyes and go to your safe place, Fox. I want you to relax." 


Mulder closed his eyes. After a few minutes his breathing slowed down, 
and his jaw went slack. 

"Good." Alex opened the package that his friend had given him earlier, 
revealing a vial of brown liquid and a syringe. He opened the vial and 
filled the syringe part way with the liquid. He made sure there were 
no air bubbles in it before he spoke again. 

"Now. I am going to give you something to relax further. If at any 
time you feel uncomfortable, I want you to tell me, okay?" 

"Yes." 

Alex pushed the needle into Mulder's arm and pushed the plunger of the 
syringe down. He removed it from his arm and set it aside, then sat 
back and waited for the drug to take effect. 

A few minutes later, Mulder spoke. "I feel funny." 

"Funny, how, Fox?" 

"Like I'm floating." 

"Are you still in your safe place?" 

"Yes." 

Alex took a deep breath. "Fox, I want you to tell me how you feel when 
you have your panic attacks. What happens to you?" 

Mulder swallowed, his voice was calm, his words slow. "It only happens 
outside. I feel like the world is closing in on me. My chest starts to 
tighten and I can't breathe. There are too many people, too many 
things going on at once. I am afraid they are going to catch up to me 
and take me back to prison." 

"Who?" 

"The Nazis, the Americans." 

"You think they followed you from Germany?" 

"Yes." 

"Why?" 

"Because I betrayed my country." 

"How did you betray your country?" 

"When I went to work for you, when I fell in love with you, an SS 
officer, when I killed those American soldiers to protect you. I 
should have gone to a camp, to be a prisoner, not bask in luxury as 
your valet, as your lover. I should have hated you, killed you myself 
at the first opportunity, but instead I killed to save you and 
deserted to stay with you. It is desertion, you know. I could have 
gone back to the Americans; you told me so. But I couldn't leave you." 


"I see. Do you feel guilty about leaving your brothers in arms back at 
the camp?" 

"Yes. I was in a camp for two weeks. When they grabbed me and took me 
to the prison, they were all sure I was to die. I should have died." 

Alex closed his eyes and took another deep breath. He knew this was 
not going to be easy. His specialty was breaking people down, making 
them believe they were garbage and filling their heads with 
propaganda. Building someone up and giving them hope was much harder. 

"Do you still feel that you should die?" 

"No. Not now. When I was being tortured at the beginning, I wished I 
was dead. But not now, now I want to live." 

Relief washed over Alex's features at that remark. "Let's get back to 
the people you think that are following you. When do you feel like 
they are around you?" 

"When we are in a crowd. Everyone is speaking another language, and I 
can't understand them. I know they're talking about me, they're 
whispering to each other that the American is here. I know they want 
to hurt me and take me away." Tears welled up in Mulder's eyes, "I 
don't want to be taken away again, please don't let them take me 
away." 

"No one is going to take you anywhere, Fox. You have got to believe me 
when I tell you that nothing can hurt you here. Do you believe me?" 

"No." 

Alex pursed his lips together, his forehead a knot of concern. "Do you 
ever feel safe, Fox?" he asked softly. 

"Yes." 

"When do you feel safe?" 

"When I am inside with you, or in my safe place. When I am being 
punished." 

"You feel safe when you are being punished?" 

"Yes." 

"Why?" 

"Because I know that you love me." 

"Do you not think that I love you, otherwise?" 

"Yes...but when you punish me, you devote all your energy to me." 

Alex licked his lips. "Do you miss being punished?" 

"Yes. I want you to love me." 

"I do love you. Please realize that. I love you no matter what. I 
don't want to hurt you anymore. I'm sorry I ever did." He saw the fear 
cross Mulder's face. //What have I done to you, my Fox?// "Fox, pain 
isn't part of love. The war hurt me so I hurt anyone I could, and 
unfortunately that included you. But now the war is no longer our 
concern; we are lovers, not enemies anymore. Do you believe that I 
love you, Fox?" 

"Yes, I know you love me." But he still looked unhappy. 

Alex was silent for a moment. It was going to take many nights to 
clear Mulder of these feelings. He looked at his watch; the drug would 
be wearing off soon. He hadn't given Mulder very much on their first 
run, as he didn't want to cause him any harm. They would have to leave 
this for now and go back to it tomorrow. 

"Mulder, I want you to relax again. Are you still in your safe place?" 


"Yes." 

"Good. I want you to remember what we talked about, about you not 
coming to any harm, about me loving you. I want you to feel safe and 
loved when you wake up, okay?" 

"Yes." 

"Good. The drug will wear off soon. I am going to be sitting here, 
right in front of you the whole time. You may feel slightly ill 
though. When you can open your eyes, I want you to look at me and let 
me know how you feel, okay?" 

"Yes." 

Alex sat there and watched Mulder as he slowly came out of his trance. 
Finally, his eyes opened and he smiled weakly. 

"I feel like I've been drinking all night." 

Alex reached across and took Mulder's hand in his own. "I think we are 
making progress, Fox. We have to keep up these sessions, though. Is 
that alright with you?" 

"Yes, it's fine." 

Alex smiled at him, "Good." 

"I'm tired. I think I'll go to bed." 

"Good idea, I will join you shortly." He squeezed Mulder's hand before 
letting go and watching his lover stand and wobble to the bedroom. 
Alex took the notepad and pen that was beside him and jotted a few 
notes down about this session and a reminder of what to ask Mulder in 
their next. He then retired to the bedroom to join Mulder in sleep.