BREATHING ROOM by Carolina Moon Spoilers: Missing scene from "One Breath" Disclaimers: These characters do not belong to me, they belong to Chris Carter and Fox, and I'm using them without permission or financial gain. Author's notes: This story has been floating around in my head for years, ever since I first saw "One Breath", one of my all time favorite episodes. Back then, I never even knew fanfic existed, or that there were other people like me who just couldn't leave a story alone. Feedback: Desperately sought, and replied to: carolinamoon66@hotmail.com Office of AD Skinner AD Skinner sat behind his desk, raging inwardly at the stubborn man before him. He had called Mulder in, hoping for some type of explanation for the shooting that his old nemesis had reported to him. It was an exercise in futility. Mulder refused to answer any questions about the execution in the hospital laundry area and was stonewalling Skinner's attempts to get more information. Skinner watched him closely-it was obvious the younger man was ready to collapse under the strain of the last few weeks, but it was also equally obvious that his defense mechanisms were firmly in place. Still the wise ass, ever ready with a smart answer. Skinner's frustration made him lash out in anger when Mulder demanded Cancerman's address. No way was he letting him go off half-cocked, bent on revenge. He'd only wind up getting himself killed or thrown in jail, which would be doing their work for them. Unfortunately, his anger at Mulder's pig-headedness also made him snap when he reminded Mulder that Scully had been aware of the risks she took as an agent. "What if I knew the potential consequences, but I never told her?", Mulder asked, suddenly deflated, his eyes begging for absolution. "Then that makes you as responsible for her condition as ...'Cancerman.'" Skinner regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. Mulder flinched and nodded to himself, almost imperceptibly, but Skinner noticed. One more tragedy Mulder would spend the rest of his days blaming himself for. Mulder turned towards the door, pain shadowing his eyes. "Mulder, wait." Mulder stopped moving but he didn't turn around. "Look at me," Skinner commanded. Mulder turned slowly and looked him in the eye, his expression tight. "Three months ago, I gave you an order to get some rest, Agent Mulder. It's obvious to me that you still haven't obeyed that order." Mulder continued to watch him, but he didn't reply. "Go home, Agent Mulder. Get something decent to eat and get some sleep. You're off duty until further notice." Mulder started to protest but stopped before he got the words out. He merely nodded and turned back towards the door, taking care to shut it firmly behind him. Skinner went back to his desk and dropped his head in his hands. What a horrible situation. Scully returned, but more dead than alive. And Mulder, so grief stricken and angry he was ready to self- destruct. And how, exactly, did 'Cancerman' expect him to 'sit on' Mulder? Most of the time, Skinner enjoyed his job, but lately the compromises and distortions of the truth had become too hard to take. And if Mulder was right, and Cancerman and his cronies really were responsible for Scully's condition, then the time had come to declare himself once and for all on Mulder's side. Even if it meant his own career would suffer. Mulder stormed down the hall, savagely ripping at the tie around his neck. If he was off-duty, then they couldn't damn well make him stick to the stupid dress code, now, could they? He brushed by several agents standing in the hall chatting. They grew silent as he passed, but one of them called out to his retreating back. "Hey, Mulder! I just wanted to say how sorry I am about Agent Scully. She was a fine agent and she'll be missed." Mulder froze at the words and turned back to the group. "I'll thank you to remember not to speak of Agent Scully in the past tense," Mulder hissed between gritted teeth. "She'll be back running circles around you jackasses sooner than you think!" The agent who had spoken was stunned by the outburst. "Uh, sure, Mulder. I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. Make sure Scully knows we're all pulling for her," he stuttered. Mulder's anger drained as quickly as it had flared. "I'll do that," he answered quietly. He turned again and left the building, unsure where to go. Skinner had once again ordered him home, but sleep had been hard to come by when Scully was missing and now that she was back, he knew he'd never manage to drift off. Maybe there would be some more encouraging news. He entered Scully's area in the ICU, and found both Melissa and Mrs. Scully sitting silently by Dana's side. They acknowledged him with a brief smile. "Any change?" he asked, already knowing the answer. "No, Fox, and Dr. Daly hasn't been able to tell us anything more," Mrs. Scully answered, her voice subdued. She looked at Mulder more closely and frowned. "Fox, you look like you're wasting away. When was the last time you got any sleep-or put anything resembling real food into your body?" "Probably the same time you did, Mrs. Scully-about three months ago," he replied gently, trying to distract her. The last thing she needed to be doing was worrying about him. "Really, I'm fine." He winced inwardly, remembering all the times that phrase had been tossed back and forth between himself and Scully. "Don't bother telling her that, Mulder. My mother can see through you at fifty paces. Anyone who doubts the validity of ESP has obviously never seen my mother's intuition first hand," remarked Melissa. Mrs. Scully gave Melissa an exasperated look and then turned her attention back to Mulder. "Fox, you really do need to get some rest-you've been driving yourself for weeks trying to find Dana and..." Her gentle scolding was cut off by the sudden appearance of AD Skinner at the curtain separating Scully from the rest of the patients in the ward. He seemed ill at ease and he shot Mulder an angry look. Mulder sighed inwardly. Skinner said hello to Mrs. Scully and she introduced him to Melissa. They stood awkwardly, conversation lagging. Fortunately, Melissa quickly grasped the situation and took Mulder by the arm. "Come on Mulder, let's go get some coffee. Maybe the cafeteria will have made a fresh pot sometime this millennium. Nice to meet you, Mr. Skinner," she said with a quick nod in his direction. Normally, Mulder found Melissa a bit irritating, but this time he was grateful for her intervention. Maybe there really was such a thing as "Scully intuition." He let himself be led from the room, ducking the stern look the AD was giving him. Once they had left, AD Skinner came closer to Scully's bedside. He had been in to see her once before, but he was still struck by how tiny she looked against the white sheets. Funny, but she never seemed small to him when she stood in his office defending herself, or more commonly, Mulder, against some accusation. He turned his attention toward Mrs. Scully. Though he didn't know her well, he had been impressed by her strength and determination in the weeks after Dana's abduction. In spite of her own obvious distress, she was always careful to be polite when asking for updates on the investigation. Many parents in similar situations took their frustration and anger out on the officers heading the search. Fortunately for Mulder, Mrs. Scully didn't seem to hold him responsible at all. In fact, it seemed to him that they actually drew strength from each other. She gave him a small smile. "Thank you for dropping in, Mr. Skinner. I'm afraid Dr. Daly hasn't noted any change in her condition, but we're still hopeful." "Mrs. Scully," he began, fumbling with his words. "I hope you know we're doing everything we can to find the person or persons who did this to your daughter." "Of course you are. But none of that matters now that we have Dana back with us. We just have to concentrate on helping her get well." He nodded his acknowledgement. "Still, if there's anything more the Bureau-or I-- can do, please don't hesitate to ask." "Actually, Mr. Skinner, there is something.", she said tentatively. "It's about Fox..." "Agent Mulder? Is there a problem, Mrs. Scully?" , he asked, surprised. "No, not a problem exactly, but I'm worried about him. I'm sure he hasn't slept more than a few hours at a stretch since Dana disappeared and he's not eating at all-just living on coffee. I know you have more important things to concern yourself with, but maybe if you spoke to him, you could convince him to take better care of himself. I've tried, but I'm afraid he doesn't listen to me. Too motherly, I suppose," she said, ruefully. AD Skinner shook his head sadly. "Unfortunately, Mrs. Scully, there is only one person on the planet that has ever been able to make Mulder listen to reason. And she's lying right there," he said, nodding towards the bed. Mrs. Scully nodded in agreement. "Still, as his boss, can't you talk to him? He's running himself ragged. He'll end up in the hospital himself if he doesn't stop this reckless behavior." "I had this very conversation with Agent Mulder not more than an hour ago, Mrs. Scully. I sent him home with specific orders to get some food and rest. I guess you can see how much good it did." "Well, I guess I'll just have to nag him a little more. Dana would never forgive us if something happened to him." "Maybe you'll have better luck than I did. I'd better be getting back to the office now, but please let me know if there are any changes." "Thank you, Mr. Skinner. I'm sure Dana would be pleased to know that you took the time to come see her in person." Skinner left the cubicle, shaking his head in amazement. With all that Mrs. Scully had on her mind, she was concerned about Mulder. She was truly a remarkable woman. No question where Scully got *her* strength. He sighed in frustration. He wished there was a way to force Mulder to take it easy, but he knew first hand the younger man's determination. Mrs. Scully was right-he would end up in the hospital at the punishing rate he was going. As that thought crossed his mind, he suddenly formed an idea-a way to make sure Mulder got the care he needed *and* stayed out of the investigation for a short time, as Cancerman had insisted. He quickly changed direction and went in search of Dr. Daly. It took only a few minutes to explain his idea to Dr. Daly. The doctor readily agreed to his plan. Now to find Mulder and convince him. Somehow he didn't think Mulder would be as easy to persuade. He found him in the hospital cafeteria, finishing yet another cup of coffee. Mulder looked up at him, resigned to yet another reprimand. Melissa Scully sensed that the two men needed to speak privately, so she nodded her good-byes and returned to the ICU. AD Skinner took the seat she vacated. Mulder stared into the dregs of his coffee silently, waiting for the lecture to begin. "Agent Mulder, I see you've once again disregarded my order to get some rest. Obviously, you have no intention of letting this thing go for awhile, so I'm afraid you've left me no choice but to force the issue." That got Mulder's attention. "Force it how, sir?" he asked suspiciously. Skinner glanced around the crowded cafeteria, trying to make sure there was no one who might be taking undo interest in their conversation. "Our cigarette smoking friend has made it very clear to me that you are to step back from this case, Agent Mulder. His 'suggestion' was a thinly veiled threat." Mulder snorted. "Tough!" he spat out venomously. "It will take more than his stupid threats to keep me away from the truth on this one. I *will* find out what happened to Scully and why." "I understand your determination in this matter, Mulder, which is why I've decided on this particular course of action." "And what would that be, sir?" Mulder asked, warily. "I've spoken to Dr. Daly-Agent Scully's doctor.", Skinner continued. "I've asked him to examine you, Agent Mulder, and if he thinks it's necessary, to admit you to the hospital for a few days." Mulder's chin dropped. "Examine me? Why? I'm not the one who's sick!" "You will be if you keep tearing yourself up like this. Dr. Daly agreed that you certainly seem on the verge of exhaustion." "Well, I don't have time for this. I'm not going to let any quack doctor stick me in any stupid hospital bed. I've got too much to do." Mulder pushed his chair back and stood up, anxious now to leave. "Sit down, Agent Mulder," Skinner said sternly. "Apparently I haven't made myself entirely clear. You have no choice in this matter. You will let Dr. Daly examine you and decide if you need care, or I will place you under house arrest with an agent assigned to keep you confined to your apartment for the next few days." Mulder dropped back into his seat, stunned. "Sir, why are you doing this to me? Don't you want to know why Agent Scully was taken?" "Of course I do, Mulder, but there are ways to go about finding out that information without risking your life." His voice became more compassionate. "Mulder, you need the rest-and you need to step back from this for a few days. At least here in the hospital, you can be close to Agent Scully and her family." He watched Mulder process this information and finally sigh in defeat. He handed Mulder a card with Dr. Daly's hospital office written on it. "You have an appointment with Dr. Daly in just a few minutes. He's expecting you, Agent Mulder. I've asked him to call me with the results of your examination. I'm counting on your complete cooperation with him." Mulder took the card as though it was his own death sentence. He decided to try once more to convince Skinner that this step was unnecessary. "Sir, I promise I'll take it easy for a while-I'll get some rest and eat something besides sunflower seeds and coffee. I really don't need to be under a doctor's care," he pleaded. Skinner wasn't moved by his words. "Sorry, Mulder. If Dr. Daly gives you a clean bill of health, then we'll discuss your return to work-but not until. Now, I think you'd better get going if you're going to get to that appointment on time. I'll be waiting to hear from the doctor, Mulder, so don't even think of missing it-is that clear?" Mulder nodded in resignation. Both men stood and walked to the elevators. Mulder glanced at the card in his hand and stepped onto the elevator going up. "Good luck, Agent Mulder. I'll be waiting to hear from Dr. Daly." The doors closed before Mulder could reply. Mulder quickly found the correct office number and stepped inside. A nurse smiled at him. "Mr. Mulder? The doctor is expecting you. Please come back to the examining room." Mulder followed her silently, feeling more doomed with every step. She chatted pleasantly with him, seeming not to notice his monosyllabic answers. He hated doctors and hospitals under the best of circumstances and he didn't feel able to keep up with her small talk. She moved about briskly, arranging things and adjusting the examining table. "I'll just check a few things before the doctor sees you," she said. "Dr. Daly is reviewing your medical history-the FBI faxed it over a few minutes ago. It's quite extensive, if you don't mind my saying so." Mulder gave her a weak smile. "Hazards of the job, I guess," he muttered. "All right, Mr. Mulder. I need you to take everything off above the waist-and slip your shoes off so we can get your current weight." Mulder did as he was told and then patiently let her check his weight, temperature and blood pressure. She noted the readings and left the office, saying that Dr. Daly would be in momentarily. True to her word, Dr. Daly entered not more than a minute later, still engrossed in Mulder's file. He finally looked up at Mulder and smiled pleasantly. "Certainly makes for interesting reading, Mr. Mulder!" he said, surprise evident in his voice. "Please, just call me Mulder. I really don't know why I'm here. My partner is the one who needs your care-not me. I'm not sure why my boss thought it was necessary to make an appointment for me. I had my yearly Bureau physical just a few months ago." He tried to keep his tone even, but he was afraid it still sounded irritable. Dr. Daly's manner became more stern. "Mr. Mul....Mulder, I think Mr. Skinner made exactly the right decision when he asked me to examine you. I've been quite concerned about your physical well being since I first saw you the night Dana was admitted. In fact, I was going to suggest you see your personal physician as soon as possible. Now, let's begin with your check up, shall we?" Mulder rolled his eyes in disgust but did as the doctor asked. Dr. Daly examined him quickly but thoroughly, checking his heart, breathing, and reflexes. He didn't speak as he examined him, but he did make a few muttered comments, and they didn't sound too positive. Finally he stopped the poking and prodding and met Mulder's gaze. "Well, I think I've seen enough. While you're not in any immediate danger, I do think it would be wise to admit you for at least two or three days so we can monitor your eating and sleeping and try to get your body back on the right track." Mulder had been prepared for this outcome, but he was still annoyed. "Admit me! For two or three days? But you just said I wasn't in any immediate danger!" He jumped down off the examining table and grabbed his shirt. "Look, I let you examine me and now I need you to tell Skinner I'm fine, all right? I really need to get out of here." "No, Mulder -I won't. Your boss made it quite clear to me that you were under my care-and I want you admitted. While it's true that you're not in serious danger, your body is badly compromised. Your reflexes are noticeably sluggish, you're running a low grade temperature and according to the results of your Bureau physical from 4 months ago, you've lost close to 14 pounds. That's a significant weight loss for someone with your build." "I haven't been hungry, Ok?', Mulder muttered between gritted teeth. "I promised Skinner I would take it easy for the next few days, so if you'll just let him know I kept the appointment like I was supposed to, you can go back to taking care of patients who really need you- like Scully." "Sorry, Agent Mulder, but I won't do that. Now, I'm calling down to the admitting desk so they can get started on the paperwork. My nurse will escort you to your room and get you settled." Mulder was incredulous. "You mean now!? That's impossible! I have to go home first-I need to pack a bag at least," he said, trying to sound reasonable. Dr. Daly was ready for this argument. "You won't be needing anything, Agent Mulder. A gown will be provided for you and Mr. Skinner said you could have any personal items you need sent up from the hospital shop and charged to the Bureau." He gave Mulder a rather pointed look. "He seemed to feel that it would be unwise to let you leave." Mulder sank back against the examining table in defeat. Skinner had outmaneuvered him. There was no way out, short of making a run for it, which would get him no where except in trouble. Dr. Daly motioned for him to finish dressing while he went and informed his nurse of the arrangements. Within a few minutes, Mulder was installed in his room. Though there were two beds, the other one was thankfully empty. A new nurse handed him a gown and a bag for his clothes. "Just put this on so it ties in the back, Mr. Mulder. Then you can get into bed. I'll be back to check on you in a few minutes." Mulder put on the hated gown and climbed into bed. He glanced around for a phone, finding none. The nurse returned a few minutes later with a small paper cup and a pitcher of water. "Here, Mr. Mulder. Dr. Daly recommended a sedative to help you rest this afternoon. This should help you settle down for a nap." Mulder hardened his lips into a tight line. "No sedatives! I'll lay here in the bed, but I'm not going to be drugged," he said firmly. "And where is the phone? I need to make a few calls so I can let someone know where I am." The nurse shook her head sympathetically. "Sorry, Mr. Mulder- no phone and no television-- doctor's orders. You're here to rest and it's my job to see that you do. Now, take your pills and maybe we'll be able to convince Dr. Daly to let you watch a little TV tomorrow." Her voice was meant to be soothing, but it annoyed Mulder to be spoken to like an over-tired child. "I told you-- I don't want any pills!" he muttered between gritted teeth. "And I really do need a phone-my cellular is with my clothes. Just hand it to me and then you can go back to your real patients." The nurse's face remained implacable. "You are a 'real patient', Mr. Mulder. And I have orders to follow. But I'll make a deal with you-if you take your pills like a good boy, I'll let you make one phone call. Agreed?" Mulder glowered at her. "Just like prison, huh? All right-give me the phone and then I'll take the stupid pills." She rummaged through his bag and brought it over to him-with the cup of pills. "Pills first, Mr. Mulder," she said with a grin. She watched as he quickly swallowed them, ignoring his glare, and then handed him his phone. "All right, you have five minutes and then I'm coming back to get the phone," she promised. Mulder waited until she was out of earshot and then dialed the number for the Lone Gunmen. He was relieved that Byers answered on the first ring. "Hey, Byers, it's me-Mulder. Turn off the tape. Listen, I need your help, and I don't have much time. No, Scully's fine-I'm mean, the same. But unfortunately, now I'm a patient in the same hospital. It's a long story, but basically, Skinner made them admit me just because I'm a little rundown.-------Hey, whose side are you on? Anyway, I need you to keep checking your database for anything in Scully's medical records that can help the doctors treat her. And can one of you guys swing by my apartment and feed my fish? And grab me a change of clothes, will you? Just make sure you don't let Frohike near my video collection. ---Thanks-I owe you one. Sorry to dump this on you, but I'm only allowed one phone call.---- Yeah, the warden--I mean nurse --is one tough case." Mulder saw the nurse returning, so he quickly said goodbye. He reluctantly handed her his phone when she reached for it. She took it and placed it with his clothes and then returned to fluff his pillows and check his vital signs. Once she finished, she turned off the lights and wished him pleasant dreams. Mulder snorted at that thought. Her dark hair would turn gray in a minute if she ever got a look at the inside of *his* dreams. Though his mind was racing, the pills' effect was too hard to overcome, and within minutes he was fast asleep. He awoke, bleary eyed, several hours later when the nurse returned to check his vital signs again and bring him his dinner tray. Unfortunately for her, his nap had not improved his mood at all. He looked in disgust at the unappetizing meal in front of him. Mystery meat, some kind of potatoes and gray green beans, all covered with the same goopy gravy. And the same tiny cartons of milk he remembered from his grade school cafeteria. His lips compressed into the same tight line as before. They might be able to make him stay here, but they couldn't make him eat this crap. The nurse noticed his stubborn expression and gave him another of her sympathetic smiles. "Sorry, Mr. Mulder, but that's what's on the menu tonight. And Dr. Daly is insisting on a clean plate." "Then let Daly eat it!" Mulder snarled. "Because there is no way I'm putting one bite of this stuff into my mouth!" "Well then, Mr. Mulder, I'm sure Dr. Daly will order you placed on an IV so we can make sure you're getting enough nutrients." the nurse snapped back. She always considered herself a patient person, but she had had just about enough of her petulant charge. She took a deep breath and tried to speak more gently. "Dr. Daly will be doing his evening rounds shortly, so you can work it out with him then, but in the mean time, why don't you at least drink your milk? We need to keep your fluids up, too, or you'll definitely end up on an IV." Mulder sighed in acquiescence-he felt a little guilty for giving his nurse such a hard time. It wasn't *her* fault he was stuck in the hospital. He drank both cartons quickly, wrinkling his nose at the cardboard taste. Just as he was putting the second carton back on his tray, Dr. Daly walked in. "Well, how is our most reluctant patient, Kelly?" he asked the nurse. "Cranky, difficult and uncooperative, sir," she answered quickly. "Nurse Crandall is on tonight, though, and she should be able to handle him just fine." Dr. Daly chuckled. "Now you're in for it, Mr.-uh, sorry- Mulder. Nurse Crandall's been here since this hospital opened--in fact there are rumors it was built *around* her. I would suggest an abrupt change in attitude, or you'll find yourself at the mercy of one very 'no nonsense' nurse." "I took your stupid pills and I've had a nap-why can't I go home?" Mulder begged. "I'm sorry, young man, but you're certainly not ready to be released yet. Give your body some time to recover from the stress it's been under lately. Now, I see from your chart that you did manage to sleep for several hours this afternoon, but you need to eat also. I'm sorry tonight's menu selection doesn't appeal to you, but I must insist that you eat something." "Then give me something resembling food. I refuse to eat food I can't identify." "I'll see what I can do, but I'm afraid it's too late to get any thing different from the kitchen." "Well, when are visiting hours tonight? I can get one of my friends to pick up a burger for me and bring it in." Dr. Daly gave him a stern look. "I'm sorry, Mulder, but I'm not allowing you any visitors until at least tomorrow afternoon. I was quite serious when I said you would be resting during your time here. And I don't think a hamburger exactly qualifies as a nutritious meal." "No visitors?! What am I supposed to do all night?" he said, his voice practically a whine. "Rest-that's what you're here for, remember?" "Can I at least go visit Scully? I'm sure her mother is wondering what happened to me-I never had a chance to tell her I was being incarcerated." "I informed her that you had been admitted when I visited Ms. Scully during afternoon rounds. She was quite relieved to hear the news, as a matter of fact. Now, I'm going to have one of the orderlies bring you up some soup and a milkshake from the cafeteria, but this is a one time exception. I'll expect you to finish every drop of both and to eat every bit of your breakfast tomorrow. Is that clear? I'm expecting a glowing report from Nurse Crandall!" "If I finish them, can I visit Scully?" he said, using his most disarming smile. "This is not "Let's Make a Deal", Agent Mulder," Daly replied firmly. "I'll decide if you can get out of bed tomorrow, after I see what kind of night you have. If you sleep well tonight, I may allow you a short visit. But you'll have to ride in a wheelchair. Hospital policy." Mulder pouted, but he knew it was the best deal he was likely to get. "All right, but no sedatives tonight. I hate the way they make me feel when I wake up." Dr. Daly thought about that for a moment. "Well, Mulder, I'll leave that up to your nurse. If she doesn't feel you're sleeping well, I'm going to leave orders for her to have you take them. And if you're unwilling to swallow them, I can leave an order for an injection instead," he admonished. "Fair enough," sighed Mulder in defeat. Dr. Daly made a few notes on his chart and then said good night to Mulder, telling him the orderly would be up with his food shortly. "Good luck with Nurse Crandall, Mulder," he said with a grin as he left. An orderly brought up Mulder's food a short time later. He still wasn't hungry, but he remembered his deal with Dr. Daly and forced himself to eat it. He was just finishing when a new nurse came in-presumably the dreaded Nurse Crandall. Dr. Daly was right -she looked like she could handle anything. She checked his vital signs briskly and then asked what he'd like to drink. "Thanks, but I just finished a milkshake. I'm not really thirsty right now," he said, trying to be agreeable. "Well, thirsty or not, Dr. Daly wants you to keep up your fluid intake. Dehydration makes your body work much harder than it has to, and that's the last thing you need right now. So, what would you like?" she repeated firmly. Mulder gritted his teeth. His resolve to be pleasant to this woman was already slipping. "Fine, bring me an iced tea, then," he responded. "I'm sorry, Mr. Mulder, but you are forbidden any caffeine. How would you like some apple juice instead?" Mulder wrinkled his nose. "Apple juice? I haven't had apple juice since I was 10 years old! Just bring me water, I guess," he sighed. "Very well, Mr. Mulder, but I'm going to insist that you drink all of it." Somehow that didn't surprise him. She left the room and returned a moment later with a huge Styrofoam cup and straw. He looked at it in disgust. "If I drink all that, I'm going to be up half the night visiting the bathroom," he groused. "I'm sure you'll manage. Now, can I get you anything else?" At Mulder's negative reply, she turned and left the room, promising to be back to check on him later. Mulder sipped at his water, already bored. Within a short time, as expected, he felt the call of nature and got up to use the bathroom. When he finished, he pulled the chair in his room over to the window, and sat and stared moodily at the dark night outside. Nurse Crandall entered a few minutes later, frowning when she saw him in the chair. She insisted he return to the bed, telling him it was time for 'lights out'. Mulder felt his temper flare at being sent to bed like a child, but he had already determined that some battles just weren't worth fighting. The night passed slowly. Mulder found it difficult to sleep without the flicker of the TV, but he pretended to every time his nurse came in. He didn't want her to make him take the sedative Dr. Daly had recommended and he was quite sure that if he refused to swallow one, he'd find himself receiving it another way. And possibly in an unpleasant place! By the time breakfast arrived the next morning, Mulder was ready to jump out of his skin. The idea of an entire day stuck in bed was driving him crazy. He quickly choked down the meal they brought him, knowing it was the only way Dr. Daly would agree to let him out of bed. At least the eggs weren't too bad, even if they weren't very hot. His nurse from the day before was back and she took sympathy on him and brought him some magazines, but he was too agitated to do more than flip through them. He was relieved when Dr. Daly finally came in for morning rounds. "Good morning, Mulder. How are you this morning? According to your chart, you slept fairly well last night, without a sedative. Even Nurse Crandall said you weren't *too* disagreeable last night. And you ate almost all of your breakfast." "Now can I go visit Scully?" Mulder begged. He felt uncomfortable being away from her for so long. "Well, I did promise to reward your cooperation with a short visit. And if you nap this afternoon, I will allow you a few visitors this evening. A Mr. Byers has called twice already to check on your condition." Mulder smiled. He knew he could count on the 'boys'. He threw off the blankets, and started to climb out of bed, ready to see Scully immediately. "Just a minute, Mulder!", Dr. Daly said. "You're certainly not dressed for wandering around the hospital. Give the nurse a minute to find you a robe and bring in a wheelchair. Then I will allow you a brief visit." Mulder nodded in frustration, itching to get to Scully. The nurse returned a few minutes later with a hospital issue robe and the dreaded wheelchair. She also forced Mulder to put on slippers before she'd let him into the chair. Mulder felt silly being pushed through the ICU in a wheelchair. These people were really sick-not like him. It made him feel guilty. Mrs. Scully jumped up and bent to give him a hug as soon as the nurse wheeled him in. "Oh, Fox, I'm so glad Mr. Skinner convinced you to get some rest. Dr. Daly said you can have visitors later this afternoon, so I'll be up then. I've been so worried about you." She gently brushed the hair away from his face in a way that made his heart ache for Scully. "Yeah, Skinner can be very persuasive," Mulder remarked ruefully. He pushed himself closer to Scully's bedside and took her hand in his. "How's she doing?" he asked quietly. "All right, Fox-- no better, but no worse either, so we can't give up hope." "I never will," he mumbled, more to himself than her. He sat and talked quietly with Mrs. Scully for a few minutes more until his nurse announced it was time to return to his room. He tried to talk her into allowing him a little more time, but she remained unbending. Mrs. Scully told him goodbye, kissing his cheek and promising to be up as soon as visiting hours started. Mulder sulked the whole way back to his room, already dreading the long afternoon. His nurse got him settled back into bed and then brought him his lunch tray. The meal looked no more appetizing than the previous night's dinner, but he knew if he didn't eat, he'd receive another lecture from Daly. And possibly lose his visitor privileges. He twirled the congealed pasta on his fork and forced it down. The nurse returned to take his tray a short time later and then she insisted on closing the curtains for his afternoon nap. Mulder lay staring at the ceiling, trying to fall asleep. He remembered the boredom and frustration he had felt as a child when his mother would send him to his room for his daily nap. She had insisted on them until he was 4, but had finally relented when even the threat of a spanking had been unable to coerce him into staying in his bed. She realized his mind was simply too active to allow him to sleep when there were so many new things to discover in the world. He finally managed to doze for a while. When he awoke, he buzzed the nurse and asked permission to take a shower-he hated the way he felt after spending most of the past 24 hours in bed. The nurse allowed him one, and brought him shaving supplies and a fresh gown to change into. He had just returned to his bed when Dr. Daly appeared. "Well, you certainly seem to feel a little bit better, Mulder. The nurse said you didn't even give her too much argument about your nap this afternoon. If you sleep well tonight, I think I might OK your discharge tomorrow afternoon." "Thank God! I'm beginning to get a little stir crazy in here-and I have about a million things to catch up on." "Not so fast, Mulder. If I do release you, you are going to have to promise me you'll take better care of yourself, or I can guarantee, you'll be a repeat customer." "Yeah, I'm sure Skinner will make sure of that," he muttered. "Yes, I have a feeling he's going to be keeping a pretty close eye on you." "You can count on that," came a voice from the open door, startling both of them. Skinner stood, looking a little unsure whether or not to enter. "The nurse at the desk said I could come in, if you're up for visitors." Mulder just shrugged. He was torn between being glad for some company and annoyance at his boss' heavy handling of the whole situation. Skinner could read his expression perfectly. How a thirty something man could pout as perfectly as a 10 year old was an amazement to him. "You're looking better, Mulder. I couldn't help overhearing Dr. Daly telling you that you're going to be sprung tomorrow. I trust that means you've actually been following orders for a change." "What choice did I have? It doesn't pay to argue with people who are authorized to use sharp instruments on your body." "I guess Agent Scully's medical background has been of some use to her then, Mulder. I'm sure she'll use any trick she can to keep you in line," Skinner replied. Mulder managed a small smile at Skinner's little joke, more pleased by his mention of Scully in the present tense than by anything else. Dr. Daly finished marking Mulder's chart and said goodbye, reminding him that his discharge was conditional on his behavior during the night. Once the doctor left, the silence became uncomfortable. Finally Skinner spoke. "Mulder, I know you're angry with me about this, but I truly feel that it was the right thing to do. You look 100% better than you did just 24 hours ago. I'm glad you've gotten some rest." Mulder was surprised at the AD's tone-almost as if he were pleading with him to understand. He felt his mood thawing ever so slightly, but he wasn't ready to give in yet. "I don't appreciate being forced into things, sir. I'm quite capable of taking care of myself." Skinner raised one eyebrow at that comment. "Well, unfortunately, the only way I can reign you in sometimes is to pull rank. I don't like using threats and ultimatums to get my point across, but I'll do what ever it takes. It's my job to see that you're fit for duty, and besides, Scully'd kick my butt if anything happened to her favorite partner while she was unable to look out for him herself," he finished with a rueful smile. Mulder found he was also smiling in spite of himself. "Yeah, she's pretty bossy, even for a red head." His expression turned sad. "What I'd give for one of her lectures on my poor behavior right now...I wouldn't argue with anything she said, if she'd just wake up," he finished wistfully. "Be careful, Mulder. I might just tape you saying that and play it back for her, and then what would you do? Arguing is what you do best!" "It would be worth it, sir," Mulder said with a sigh. He leaned back against the pillows, suddenly realizing how drained he still felt, in spite of his enforced rest. It was so hard to have Scully back, but not fully. Almost as bad as when she was missing completely-almost. Skinner noticed his suddenly deflated spirits and made an effort to cheer him up. "If Daly does release you tomorrow, I'll OK your return to work immediately, providing you're willing to follow his instructions. That means getting rest when you need to, and eating regular meals." "And if I don't, I guess I'll find myself back here again, won't I?" Mulder remarked testily. "Or I might do something even worse, Mulder. I might sic Mrs. Scully on you. She's really worried about you, you know." Skinner felt a little ashamed about using Mulder's own over developed sense of guilt against him, but whatever worked... As expected, Mulder frowned and dropped his head. "She's got more important things to worry about than me, sir. With her husband gone and Scully's brothers out to sea, I should be the one supporting her-it doesn't take a great profiler to figure out that she and Melissa don't always see eye to eye. I don't want to cause her any more pain than I already have." Now it was Skinner's turn to frown. "Agent Mulder, what happened to Scully was not your fault. Blaming yourself is foolish and counterproductive, and I want it to stop-NOW!" Mulder blinked in surprise at the vehemence of Skinner's reaction. "But, you said yourself that I was as much to blame..." Skinner cut him off before he could finish. "Mulder, I was wrong about that, and I'm sorry. I was frustrated and angry and I said something I shouldn't have. No one could have worked more tirelessly than you did to try and prevent Scully's abduction, and to attempt to find her afterwards. Your single minded devotion to finding the answers is what put you here, remember?" "But after all of it, I still don't know any more than I did when this whole thing started," Mulder replied, frustrated. "Don't worry, Mulder. If there are truths to be discovered, I'm sure you will, sooner or later. But not at the risk of endangering your own health. Scully and her family wouldn't want that, and I won't allow it." Skinner watched as Mulder took his words in and finally nod. "All right, Mulder, you'd better get some more rest. I'll check in with Dr. Daly tomorrow and see if he's still willing to release you, and then we'll get you back on active duty. Just remember what I said about taking it easy." "I will, sir. And sir---thanks for coming to see me." Skinner was pleased at the expression of appreciation-he hoped that meant Mulder had forgiven him for putting him in the hospital in the first place. "No problem, Mulder. I sincerely hope it's the last time I'll have to visit you here. I'll see you tomorrow." Skinner left and Mrs. Scully came up a short time later, as promised. She fussed over Mulder in way that reminded him of Scully. It made him feel a little uncomfortable, since motherly attention wasn't something he was used to, but it seemed to please her to do it. She was happy to hear that Dr. Daly was going to release him the next day, and extracted the same promise from him to take better care of himself that Skinner had. Just as she was leaving to return to Scully's bedside, all three of the Lone Gunmen entered. Mulder quickly introduced them, surprised that Frohike actually managed to turn on the charm and be the model of graciousness to Mrs. Scully. "Hey, no flowers for me, Frohike?" Mulder teased, after Mrs. Scully had left. "Sorry, Mulder, but we thought you'd prefer this instead," the little man said, handing Mulder a brown paper bag. Mulder snuck a peek inside and laughed. "You'll get me into trouble with my nurses if they catch me with this, guys. And if my blood pressure goes up, Daly might not release me!" "You always did like living dangerously, Mulder! We also grabbed you some clean clothes, too. No easy thing to find in your apartment, by the way." The four men chatted easily for a while, until Nurse Crandall came in and announced firmly that visiting hours were over. "Can't they stay a little while longer?" Mulder begged, dreading the long evening ahead. "I'm sorry, Mr. Mulder, but you need your rest, and you've had quite enough company for one afternoon." She noticed his protest forming and held up her hand. "No arguments, Mr. Mulder, or I'll make sure Dr. Daly hears that you were uncooperative." Mulder scowled, but bit back any further complaints. The Lone Gunmen exchanged amused glances at the nurse's stern demeanor. They had rarely seen Mulder so effectively put in his place by anyone other than Scully! "Take care, Mulder. Let us know when they spring you from this place and we'll go out," Langly said. "Thanks, guys. If all goes well, I should be getting out tomorrow." The guys left and Nurse Crandall checked his vital signs and brought in his dinner tray. Mulder ate without enthusiasm, but he did manage to finish most of it. He didn't want anything to jeopardize his chances of being released. He didn't argue with her about bedtime, either, and managed to sleep most of the night. Daly returned right after breakfast the next morning and agreed to release Mulder that day, with a stern reminder to take care of himself. As soon as Mulder got showered, he changed into the clothes the Gunmen had brought him. His day nurse showed up a few minutes later with a wheel chair for his ride down to the lobby. It seemed like a ridiculous regulation to him, but he had been in enough hospitals to know there was no point arguing. Once the paperwork was finished, the nurse wheeled him down to the front entrance and said goodbye. Happy to be going home, Mulder thanked her for taking care of him and even managed an apology for his petulant behavior. "It's all right, Mr.-I mean Mulder, I worked on the pediatric floor for two years. Pouting patients are nothing new to me," she said with a grin. "Well, thank Nurse Crandall for me, too. I wasn't the best patient for her, either," he admitted sheepishly. "She won't hold a grudge, Mulder. Just make sure you don't end up back here any time soon. She might not be so understanding then!" She shook his hand and left him at the entrance. Mulder debated turning right around and going to the ICU to visit Scully, but decided he'd better stop at home first and check on things. He also needed to let Skinner know he'd been released and was ready to come back to work. He rescued his car from the parking garage, amazed at the exorbitant fee they charged-more like he'd had it there 48 days instead of 48 hours. He made it home quickly, pleased to see his fish had survived just fine without him. No messages of any pressing concern were on his machine, so he kicked back on the sofa, just happy to be home again. He enjoyed the peace and quiet for a few minutes and then picked up the phone and dialed Skinner's office. His secretary put him through to the AD quickly. "Agent Mulder, I just spoke to Dr. Daly and he told me you had been released. Why don't you take the rest of the day off and come in tomorrow? I'm sure anything on your desk can wait another day." "Thanks, sir, but I'm ready to come back now. I just need to get changed and I'll be in." "Very well, Mulder, but remember what we discussed in the hospital-no more running yourself down, no matter what lead you're chasing," Skinner said sternly. "I'll remember," Mulder replied with a sigh. "All right, Mulder, I'll be in my office this afternoon if you need me-stop in before you leave for the day." "Yes sir-and thank you, for everything." Skinner was surprised at this. "No thanks necessary, Agent Mulder. It's all part of my job. See you later." Mulder stared at the phone for several moments after he had hung up. Things might be confusing right now, but he felt like he had found at least one thing he'd been looking for. Someone he could trust. THE END