BRACE (Part 4) by Tess

Disclaimer:  They don't belong to me; I just like to make them suffer. 

Rating: NC-17		

Key words: Mulder/Skinner/Other

Spoilers: None

Feedback: tdog@dog.com

Archive: Feel free to archive anywhere - just let me know where.

Summary: After his encounter with Skinner the night before, Mulder 
struggles to hide his feelings from Scully, whilst at the same time 
Skinner struggles to understand his feelings for Mulder.

Warning: Contains graphic scenes of consensual and violent non- 
consensual m/m sex. 









As he warily approached Skinner's office the following afternoon, 
Mulder stopped and leaned in towards the door.  He could hear raised 
voices from within and it sounded very much like Skinner and Scully 
were arguing.  The Assistant Director's secretary raised her eyebrows 
at him and nodded towards the room on the other side of the door.

'They've been at it like that for quite some time,' she informed him 
frostily.  'You're rather late.'

'Yeah, I know,' he replied ruefully.  He could see that she was 
staring curiously at the colourful bruising on his face and he felt 
himself begin to blush. 'I couldn't help it,' he shrugged.  'Traffic, 
y'know?' He leaned closer to the door, his ear almost touching the 
heavy oak, his eyebrows raised as he began to decipher the muffled 
sounds of the commotion within.

'It's a ridiculous idea!' he heard Scully exclaim angrily.  'Just what 
are you trying to do to him?  He isn't ready to come back to work at 
all, and certainly not to a case like this!'

'His expertise in the field will be very welcome,' he heard Skinner 
reply more calmly.  'And besides, I'm okay working this case, Agent 
Scully.  I don't see why he shouldn't be.'  

'Sir, I know you've been through an ordeal too, but...'

'But nothing.  He's already agreed to do it.  I just don't see what 
the problem is.' 

Mulder then heard footsteps stamping determinedly across the floor.  
He hurriedly stepped back but the door was suddenly yanked open and 
then he was eye to eye with a flushed-faced Scully.

'Oh, hi,' he greeted her.  'Enjoy your holiday, Scully?'

'Mulder!'

He saw her eyes widen in shock as she stared up at his bruised face 
and swollen mouth, and he instinctively covered his face with his hand 
to mask his injuries.

'What happened to you?  Your face!'  She prised his reluctant hand 
away and gently ran the pad of her thumb over his bruised and swollen 
lips. 

She then took his chin and tilted his head to the light, examining the 
bruising around his left eye and cheekbone.

'Who did this to you?'

Mulder brushed her off lightly.  'No-one.  I-I fell out of bed.' She 
stared at him disbelievingly but he steadfastly avoided her gaze. 

She knew he was lying but she also knew better than to push him, being 
only too aware of his stubborn streak.  She resolved to pursue the 
matter with him in private later. 

'You're late,' she hissed before glancing over her shoulder at 
Skinner.  She could see the Assistant Director hovering beside his 
desk, unsure as to whether he should approach them or not.  Turning 
back to Mulder she said quietly, 'When you didn't turn up I hoped 
you'd seen sense and had decided to give it a miss.'

Mulder shook his head.  'No,' he mumbled, avoiding her eyes. 'I just 
got caught in traffic, that's all.'  He thought it best not to mention 
the stomach cramps and diarrhoea he'd suffered throughout the early 
hours of the morning, or the fact that his stomach was now churning so 
badly at the thought of facing Assistant Director Skinner that he felt 
as though he were about to throw up.    

'Here at last, Mulder,' Skinner barked, once more firmly ensconced 
behind the safety barrier of his desk, aware that he was blushing 
furiously but unable to do anything about it.  He hated it when the 
two of them went into one of their huddles.  It always made him feel 
so excluded.  'Still better late than never,' he remarked, 
self-consciously shuffling the papers on his desk into piles.

'Sorry.'  Mulder's mumbled apology clearly wasn't sincere and Scully 
glanced sharply from one man to the other, although she could glean 
nothing from their matching closed expressions. 

'Come in and sit down, both of you,' Skinner urged, although his eyes 
never left the bundle of papers before him.  Somehow he didn't dare 
look up, couldn't bear to see the accusations that were certain to be 
burning in Mulder's eyes. 'Agent Scully, please,' he continued. 'We 
can all talk about this together now that Agent Mulder's here.  
Perhaps he can reassure you about this assignment and rid you of any 
doubts you may have about either his safety or his ability to cope 
with the nature of the case.' 

Reluctantly Scully followed Mulder back into the room and returned to 
her former seat, scrutinising Mulder as he positioned himself gingerly 
in the chair beside her.  He kept his eyes cast to the floor and his 
hands were clasped tightly in his lap, giving Scully the impression 
that he was trying to prevent them from shaking.

Skinner stopped shuffling papers and on finally looking up was 
momentarily stunned by the extent of the reddish purple bruising on 
Mulder's face.  He choked back a gasp and then stared, shocked by the 
damage a couple of slaps had wrought.  He cleared his throat noisily 
in an attempt to regain his usual composure.  He then went on after a 
pause, despite the fact that Mulder himself still didn't look up.  
'Agent Mulder, I've been explaining to Agent Scully about the 
undercover duty I've been asked to staff and as I've already explained 
to you previously, the existing team on this particular case, myself 
included, believe that you'd be perfect to assist.  I'd like you both 
to take some time to study the case files so that we can discuss the 
matter further at a later date, although we do need to move quite 
quickly in setting the placement up.'  He threw two identical folders 
across the desk.  Scully picked them both up and handed one to Mulder, 
who started to flick aimlessly through it.  It was the same file 
Skinner had shown him before.

Scully quickly scanned through the first three pages of the report and 
then turning to Mulder she said earnestly, 'I've already told 
Assistant Director Skinner that I believe the case to be totally 
unsuitable for you, Mulder. I strongly urge you to reconsider.  These 
case notes only serve to confirm that in my opinion this assignment 
just isn't for you.'

Mulder had rolled his copy of the file up into a tube and was sitting 
with his shoulders hunched forward, flicking at the edges of the 
bunched pages with his thumbnail.  'I want to do it though,' he told 
her quietly, without looking up.

'Mulder...?' 

He looked her in the eye then, and she saw something surface briefly 
in his expression, a guarded shimmer in his eyes.  What was it?  Fear? 
 Shame?  Or something more sinister?  Whatever it was she was briefly 
thrown by it.  Frowning, she turned back to Skinner.  'I really must 
say again sir, that I feel your asking Agent Mulder to play such a 
pivotal role in this operation is entirely inappropriate.  Obviously I 
don't mean to sound disrespectful, I simply have Mulder's best 
interests at heart and feel I must voice my opinions.'

Skinner again felt his cheeks flush as he met Scully's forthright 
gaze.  He looked reluctantly at Mulder, who had unravelled the file 
once more and was now studying it steadfastly.  Skinner could see he 
was scrutinising the gory photographs of Stevie Woodward's corpse.  He 
stared uncomfortably at the bruising on Mulder's face.  How the hell 
could two slaps have done that much damage?  He hadn't hit him that 
hard, had he?  For God's sake, he looked as though he'd taken a real 
beating.  

And then it struck him.  Something Mulder had said last night, 
something like, 'You don't know what's happened.'  What had that been 
about?  Had that creep hurt him?  Skinner's stomach rolled at the very 
thought of it.  Had Mulder already been assaulted then come home, only 
to be attacked again in his own apartment?  For God's sake, he 
thought, what the hell was I thinking of?  His heart thumped 
uncomfortably as he remembered how Mulder had trembled beneath him, 
the stuttering tremulous voice begging not to be hurt, pathetically 
pleading a lost cause in the darkness.

'Sir?'  

Skinner blinked owlishly before jerking his eyes away from Mulder's 
face and back to Scully's.

'Agent Scully?'

'I said I don't think Agent Mulder should go anywhere near this 
assignment.'

'If Agent Mulder really doesn't want to get involved in the case then 
I won't pressure him,' Skinner conceded.  His eyes once more travelled 
guiltily back to the bruising on Mulder's face. 'It's his decision.'  
Except it isn't, he reminded himself.

Mulder looked up and the eyes of the two men locked for the first time 
since the meeting had begun.  It was Skinner who broke the deadlock 
first, turning his gaze down to his own copy of the file.

'Mulder, please listen to me.'  Scully's voice was anxious and her 
brow furrowed.  'You know I really don't think this is a good idea 
given your recent experiences.' 

Mulder looked up at her through his eyelashes.  He was doing that 
'little boy lost' thing with her again, Skinner thought, suddenly 
angry with them both despite himself.  Does he still think he can 
twist everyone around his little finger?

'Well?' he broke in briskly.  'Are you still going to accept the 
assignment?  Because if not...'

'Yes,' Mulder interrupted sharply, 'I'll do it.'

Scully tutted and glared at them both in turn, angry that her opinions 
were being ignored.  'I hope you don't expect me to play any part in 
this investigation,' she repeated, pursing her lips.  'I think you're 
both being incredibly irresponsible.'   She stood up and Mulder jumped 
up too.  He followed her to the door, tossing his crumpled file on to 
his chair as he rushed after her.  

'I'll meet you in the office in a minute,' he said quietly.  She 
raised concerned eyebrows but he smiled at her charmingly and gave her 
elbow a little push.  'Go on,' he encouraged.  'I won't be long.'  
With a puzzled look first at Mulder then Skinner, she sighed and left 
the room, closing the door firmly behind her.  

As he emerged from behind his desk, Skinner saw now that Mulder's 
relaxed charm had been an act solely for Scully's benefit.  He quickly 
backed away as Skinner approached so that eventually he was pressed up 
against the door, poised for flight.  His fist tightly gripped the 
handle and Skinner felt obliged to retreat a little.  He leaned back 
on the edge of his desk, his arms folded defensively over his striped 
tie.

'Are you okay, Mulder?'

'Do I look okay?' Mulder questioned sullenly, gesturing to his bruised 
face.  

'No, actually you don't.  I didn't realise I'd hit you so hard.  I'm 
sorry.'

'It wasn't just you.  Sorry to disappoint you but someone else got to 
me first.'

'I see.'

'No you don't.  You don't see at all.'

'Actually I think I do.  It was that man you left the club with, 
wasn't it?  Did he hurt you?'

Mulder laughed bitterly.  'As if you'd care.  I bet you're glad, 
aren't you?  Think I got what I deserve?  You know, I ought to report 
you for what you did to me last night.'

Skinner was immediately defensive.  'You could do, I suppose,' he 
snapped back.  'But how does it rate alongside what you did to me?'

Mulder groaned in frustration.  'How many times do I have to tell you 
about that?  It wasn't my fault.  He made me do it.  Why can't you 
understand that?  He was going to kill you!'

'Oh, let's get something straight here,' Skinner spat.  'You raped me, 
Mulder and then you panted like a dog when that bastard Brace fucked 
you.  You let him fuck you over and over again, like some...some bitch 
in heat.'

'But I had to do it.  Can't you see that?  I didn't want him to hurt 
you.'  Tears were threatening to spill down Mulder's cheeks and he 
gulped at the air, trying to suppress his panic.  'You know, what you 
did to me last night was far worse than what I did to you.'

'Yeah right.  I'd love to know how the hell you make that one out.'

'Yeah?  Well I'll tell you why, shall I?  It's because you had a 
choice.'

Skinner stood and rubbed his good hand vigorously over his bald head. 

Despite his anger, his humiliation, his Godamn hurt, he could see that 
Mulder did have a point. 'Well, look, if it makes any difference, I do 
regret what I did,' he admitted gruffly.  'I don't know what got into 
me.  I confess I was out of control.  Does that make us quits now?'

'If you say so.'  

'Look, I'm not the bad guy here, Mulder,' Skinner said lamely.  'Not 
really.  Seeing you with that guy... well, I guess it made me angry, I 
don't really know why.'  His words died as he struggled to explain his 
feelings.  He didn't really understand them himself so how could he 
possibly convey them to another person?  He frowned down at the floor, 
his emotions a sickening haze swirling about him, and when he found 
the courage to look up once more, Mulder had gone.



* * *

Over the next few days, Scully tried a number of times to talk Mulder 
out of the assignment but was unable to convince him to drop the case. 

On the final day before he was due to start work at his undercover 
placement, she gave him one last warning.

'I still think you're making a big mistake,' she told him seriously, 
sipping from her mug of steaming coffee as she sank down onto his 
sofa.  'You're not in any shape to get involved in a case like this, 
not physically and certainly not mentally.'

'I'll be okay,' he insisted.

She watched him take a bite from the bagel she'd brought him, pleased 
to see him eating.  She noticed that the bruising around his mouth had 
faded somewhat, although there was still an angry red mark under one 
eye. 

'Your face has nearly healed up okay,' she remarked.  

She might as well have slapped him in the face.  He stopped chewing, 
the bagel half way to his mouth and she watched as he dropped it, 
half- eaten, back onto the plate.  

'Scully, not that again,' he pleaded.  He swallowed his mouthful of 
food with difficulty, then stood up and started clearing away.  'I 
told you, I-I fell out of bed.'

'Whatever you say, Mulder.'  She watched him as his face bloomed in 
shame.  He looked down at her, aware that his cheeks were as red as 
fire.

'Okay, Scully.  If you really want the truth, I was mugged.  It was no 
big deal, really.'

'Yeah?  So why couldn't you tell me that before?  I'll tell you why, 
Mulder.  Because it's just not the truth.'

'It is,' he insisted.  'Partly.'

'So which part?'

'I was attacked.'

'Who attacked you?'

'It's really not that important.'

'Oh, come off it Mulder.  It must be important if you feel you have to 
lie about it.'

He said nothing in response to her last comment, merely sat there 
chewing his lip, a frown creasing his troubled forehead.

'Listen,' she began again, more gently this time. 'I know this may be 
hard for you to hear, but... well, sometimes the only coping strategy 
a victim of abuse may feel they have left is to confront their 
experiences by abusing others or by actively seeking further abuse 
themselves.'

'My God, Scully,' he laughed uncomfortably.  'You sound like a medical 
text book!  What the hell are you trying to say?'  His voice was 
bright but she noticed a tiny tic flickering just under his left eye. 
 It was a total giveaway.

'Mulder, I'm being serious.  I'm worried about you.  I'll be honest, 
okay?'  She took a deep breath.  'Skinner told me that whilst I was 
away he followed you to some club.  That you picked up some guy in a 
gay bar and went to his motel room for sex.  Is that true? Is that how 
you came to be attacked?'

'I didn't go to any guy's motel room,' Mulder snapped.  'And what does 
it matter how I came to be attacked?  What business is it of his 
anyway?  Or of yours, for that matter.'  He was furious now.  How dare 
they discuss him behind his back?  And Skinner of all people, telling 
tales!  Well, he'd just better watch out, thought Mulder angrily.  I 
could tell a few tales of my own.  He jumped up and snatched the 
plates and glasses off the table then marched into the kitchen where 
he slammed them into the sink.  Moments later Scully appeared in the 
doorway but he deliberately turned his back on her. 

'Don't be angry with me, Mulder,' she pleaded.  'I'm just worried 
about you, that's all.  Skinner is too.'

'Well don't be. I'm a big boy now.'  At the mention of Skinner he 
began to slosh water furiously around the washing up bowl and suddenly 
there was a smash as a glass skidded out of his soapy grip, skittered 
over the counter top and clattered to the floor.

'Here, let me help you,' Scully said, rushing forward.

'It's okay, I can manage.'

'Let me.'  She stooped to pick up the largest fragments.

'Leave it Scully, I can do it.'

He squatted down and began to wipe up the glittering fragments with a 
wet dishcloth.  Frustrated, Scully shook her head and stepped back.

'Why won't you let me help you?' she demanded.

'It's okay, I can manage.  It's just a broken glass.'

'I don't mean with the glass.'

'I know exactly what you mean, Scully.'  He stood up and ran the cloth 
under running water, wringing it and wringing it until his hands were 
red. 

She approached him carefully and laid a tentative hand on his arm. He 
didn't flinch away from her, but he didn't turn towards her either.  

'Mulder?'

'I'm fine, Scully,' he insisted.  'Really I am.'

'Mulder, about what Skinner said...'

'What about it?'

'You didn't really pick up some guy in a gay bar and go off with him 
to his motel room, did you?'

'No, I told you,' he said fiercely.  'I didn't go to anybody's motel 
room.'  But he was suddenly torn between denial and the need to tell 
her everything.  He didn't know what to do but one thing he did know 
was that he didn't want to be fighting her off anymore.  He dragged a 
chair out from the dining table, sat down and propped his elbows on 
the table, his fingers laced beneath his chin.  'What would you think 
of me if I told you I thought I was gay?' he blurted out suddenly.

She frowned.  'Are you?' she countered, sitting down in the chair 
opposite.  'Is that what you're telling me?'

Mulder nodded.  'Yes, I think so.'

'I wouldn't have a problem with it, Mulder.  I honestly wouldn't.'

'Truly?'

'Truly.  But I'd have to say it would come as a bit of a surprise.  I 
mean, I've known you a long time and you've never said anything 
before.  There's never been any ... indication of it.'

'No, I know.'  

'So why say something now?  What's changed?'

After a moment's hesitation he shrugged his shoulders.  She could see 
his inner turmoil as he struggled to form an answer; it was etched 
deeply in the lines on his face.

'Mulder, may I be frank with you?'

He nodded and sat back in his chair.  'Please do,' he whispered, his 
voice husky with apprehension.  She knew it had taken great courage 
for him to have broached this subject with her and she also noticed 
how he was watching her face intently, as if fearfully seeking the 
slightest hint of disapproval.  In no way did she want to upset him, 
but she knew that if the conversation were to proceed she'd need to 
tread on dangerous ground. 

'I know you find this very difficult to talk about, Mulder,' she 
began, 'but regardless of whether you're actually gay or not I think 
you're still very much suffering from post-traumatic stress.  This 
undercover assignment for Skinner is the last thing you need right 
now.  It's only going drag up the past and cause you more anguish.'

'But the way I feel has nothing to do with the assignment,' he 
protested.  'And anyway, it's not up for discussion.  I'm doing it, 
and nothing you or anybody else can say will change my mind.'

'I've realised that Mulder, but you can't blame me for trying.'  She 
tried a smile, but he simply stared back at her.  She could almost 
smell the anger bristling from his pores.

'Look, please believe me,' she implored.  'If you are gay and you can 
happily accept the fact that you are, then I'll be really pleased for 
you.  I really mean that.  It would be wonderful if you could accept 
yourself and love yourself for who you are rather than who you think 
you should be.'  She waited but he didn't move and he didn't say 
anything. 

Finding the tense silence that hung like a stifling curtain between 
them intensely uncomfortable she hurried on.  'But knowing you as I do 
I realise that that's a pretty tall order.  You carry at least ten 
times the guilt of the average Catholic!'  Again she smiled, but again 
he merely stared back at her.  She found it extremely  disconcerting 
and prayed that she was doing the right thing.

'Okay, Mulder, I'm going to be really blunt now.  I'm going to guess 
that all this has something to do with recent 'events'.'  She 
deliberately avoided the use of Brace's name, fearing that he'd break 
down and her chance to help him would be gone, fluttering away on a 
wind of fear and retribution.  'Look,' she argued. 'Let's be realistic 
here.  Discovering you enjoy anal sex doesn't necessarily mean you 
must be gay and it's important that you realise that.  I know that 
that's something that's been bothering you since what happened but 
lots of men enjoy anal stimulation during sex, women too.  In fact, 
the other day I was reading an article that claimed to prove the 
theory that...'

Mulder groaned and hid his face in his hands.  'You're doing it again, 
Scully,' he warned, his voice muffled behind his hands.

'Doing what?'

'Talking like a text book.'

'Am I?'

He nodded, his face still hidden.

'I'm sorry,' she continued, 'but all I'm trying to say is that you 
mustn't think that because you were forced to have sex with a man that 
he made you become gay.  It doesn't work like that.'

'I know.'  Mulder dropped his hands from his face and clasped them 
together in his lap.  His eyes met hers and the sorrow swirling in 
their troubled depths made her want to take him in her arms and sooth 
all that pain away.  He started to speak but his voice was choked and 
she saw tears glistening in his eyes.

'Look, it's okay,' she soothed.  'You don't have to tell me anything 
if you don't want to.'

'I know,' he repeated.  'But ... well, suddenly I feel like I know 
what I want to say.'  He took a deep breath then hurried on.  'Scully, 
since what happened with - Brace...I seem to have developed this - 
this ... appetite.  How can I explain it?  It-It's like I have to keep 
re-living the whole thing over and over again, as if I need to be 
punished for what happened.  No, don't interrupt me, just listen, 
please.'  Obediently she closed her mouth.  'As for me being gay,' he 
went on, 'I'm pretty sure of it now.  I think it's something I already 
knew about myself anyway, but it's been hiding, deep down inside of me 
somewhere. 

I know how mad it sounds but it's the only way I can think of to 
describe it.'

Scully nodded thoughtfully.  'It doesn't sound at all mad,' she said 
slowly, 'but there are a couple of things that bother me.' She paused, 
thinking of how to put forward her ideas.  She didn't want to hurt him 
in any way.  He was hurting enough already.

'Like what?'

'Well, first of all this idea that you feel you need to be punished.  
You were the victim, Mulder, the innocent victim of a vile crime and 
in no way are you to blame for what happened.'

But you don't know, he was screaming inside his head.  You don't know 
about Skinner, what he made me do to Skinner.

'And the second thing?'  

'Well, as I said before, Mulder, if you really are gay then I'll 
happily support you in any way I can, but I don't think you should use 
it as an excuse to be promiscuous.  Apart from anything else it's 
downright dangerous.  I mean, look at you, those bruises on your 
face...'

Suddenly he was angry.  'For God's sake,' he flamed, 'because of what 
Skinner told you suddenly think I'm going around sleeping with every 
man I see!'  

'Well, aren't you?'

'No, of course not.  Look, okay, so I'm experimenting.  Last week I 
met this guy in a club, he was up for it and so I thought why not?  It 
wasn't my fault he turned rough.'

'Well, that's exactly my point.  If I were to give you any advice at 
all, it'd be stay safe.  I mean, what would you think if I went off 
with a man I'd only just met for sex?'

'It'd be your choice, wouldn't it?  It's still a free country, 
y'know.'

'Of course it is, Mulder, but if it was me, wouldn't you worry about 
my safety?  What if this guy turned out to be some psycho who wanted 
to take me home and feed me to his dog?  God knows we've met enough 
people like that in our time together.  All I'm saying is, don't 
confuse being gay with being promiscuous.  The majority of gay men 
aren't like that, Mulder.  Gay men are people, just like any other 
people.  Sure, some of them sleep around, the same way that some 
straight people sleep around but I'm sure most of them just want to be 
happy and loved, just like anyone else.  Do you see what I mean?'

He nodded glumly.

'So what you said before, about developing an appetite, what did you 
mean exactly?  For sex with other men?'

Mulder squirmed a little uncomfortably but again he nodded.  'Yeah, I 
guess.'

'With the guys you meet in clubs?'

'Yeah.'

'And all this started since you were ... assaulted?'

'You can say it Scully.  Since I was raped.  Yeah, since then.'

'Well, putting the, uh, the rape aside for a moment, and also your 
current behaviour, can you really see yourself entering into a full 
relationship with one of these men, a full-blown love affair for 
example?  I mean, having sex with someone is one thing, Mulder. Loving 
and caring for them in a stable relationship is another thing 
entirely.'

'I know that.  I do know what you're saying.  I know you can separate 
sex and love but love is something I've always struggled with.  Come 
to think of it I've struggled with sex too.  When I look back now I 
can see that sex with women never seemed right for me.  There was 
always something missing, I just didn't know what it was at the time.'

'So, are you saying that you don't find women sexually attractive any 
more?'

'No, I guess what I'm saying is I don't think I ever really did.  I 
think I thought I did.  But you know as well as I do that I've never 
really had a decent lasting relationship with a woman.  A sexual one I 
mean.  I wasn't talking about our relationship.'

'Don't worry Mulder,' she smiled.  'I knew what you meant.'  This time 
he returned her smile and heart was gladdened.  At last they were 
having a proper talk about things.  He had visibly relaxed since the 
beginning of their conversation and she felt confident she could dig a 
little deeper without doing any damage.  'Has there ever been anyone 
with whom you felt you could have a loving, lasting relationship?' she 
asked gently.  'A man I mean.'

He shook his head slowly and carefully.  'Not really.  I thought there 
might have been once but there's no chance of that now.'

'Why not?'

He shook his head again.  'It's just not possible, believe me.'

'Because he isn't gay?'  

'No.  Well, yeah, but not just because of that.  Oh God, why does it 
all have to be so complicated?'  He rubbed his hands over his face, 
his dark stubble rasping.  Scully could see that he was getting upset 
again now and that she'd overestimated his emotional strength; his 
eyes once more threatened tears and there were dark smudges like 
bruises beneath them.  It was at that point she made up her mind.  
Enough was enough.

'I'm glad you talked to me, Mulder,' she said quietly, reaching out 
across the table and taking his hand into her own.  'We'll talk again 
if you think it'll help, but right now you need some rest.  You look 
exhausted.'

'I am,' he agreed.  'But I do feel a bit better.'  He smiled again and 
just for a second she caught a glimpse of the man he'd been before 
that fateful day when Brace had bounded into her apartment.

'Good.  I'm glad.  But Mulder, this assignment.  You know how I feel 
about it.  Please think more carefully about whether or not you take 
it on.  I sure if you contacted Skinner and told him...'

He interrupted her quite sharply then and she was a little taken 
aback.  'I'm doing it, Scully,' he said with real feeling.  'That's 
something I am sure about.'

'Okay, okay, but please - promise me one thing at least?'

'What is it?'

'That you'll be careful.'

'I'll try, Scully.'

'Promise?'

'Promise.'

***



On the evening of the fifth day of the undercover operation, Skinner 
received a phone call at home from one of the surveillance team 
members, requesting his urgent and immediate presence at the target 
site.  He hurried into the rain-slashed town, cursing when he was 
unable to find a parking bay even at that late hour, and eventually he 
arrived both extremely irritated and soaking wet at the tiny 
surveillance room in the loft space above Joey's Gym. Although by day 
the place disguised itself as an executive gymnasium specialising in 
'physiotherapy and stress relief' it was very much a thriving 
night-time business where no one actually used the sports facilities 
at all.

'What is it?' Skinner demanded, shrugging off his raincoat, annoyed to 
have been called out on such a filthy night.  'Has there been contact 
with a suspect?'  He glanced at the central surveillance monitor which 
showed a wide angled shot of Mulder sitting in an easy chair.  He was 
holding a glass and was laughing with one of the club's personnel, a 
long-haired young man named Daniel. He looked more relaxed than 
Skinner had seen him in a long time.

'Well,' smirked O'Connell, the agent who had called him, obviously 
enjoying the moment enough to insert a dramatic pause.  'There's 
certainly been contact all right, though not the kind you were hoping 
for, I'm sure.  The show's actually over now, but we caught the whole 
thing on camera.  Wanna see?'

'Yes, of course.'

O'Connell flicked a switch and after a brief splurge of snow, a clear 
picture of one of the 'private' rooms spluttered into view.  Skinner 
stared hard at the image before his eyes.  He was acutely aware of 
O'Connell's eager gaze burning into the side of his face, but he 
deliberately set his expression in stone, forcing his features into a 
cold mask which he knew would reveal nothing.  Disappointedly 
O'Connell dragged his eyes away from Skinner and watched the 
flickering monitor instead.

'I'll turn the volume up, shall I?'  he offered.

Skinner said nothing but continued to watch the monitor intently. The 
small screen showed a naked Mulder kneeling over a wide double bed 
whilst an older man, also naked, was curled over Mulder's back, 
pounding against him from behind. There was no mistaking the fact that 
they were having full sex.  The embarrassingly clear soundtrack 
consisted of soft groans, sighs and cries from both men, and the 
slap-slap of flesh repeatedly hitting flesh. Skinner's stomach rolled 
sickeningly as he turned away, yet his face did not betray a single 
glimmer of emotion. 



'I think that's real good of Agent Mulder, don't you sir?' O'Connell 
sneered.  'To take his undercover responsibilities so seriously?'  He 
smirked at Skinner again, but his face straightened as he saw his 
boss's mouth compress into a thin hard line.  'I thought you ought to 
see it, that's all,' he said sulkily.  

'Is that time correct?' Skinner demanded, gesturing to the rapidly 
spinning digits in the top right hand corner of the monitor's picture.

'Yeah, this all happened almost an hour ago ago.'

'And where's this room?'  He rapped the other monitor sharply, the one 
which still showed Mulder drinking and chatting amiably to his dark 
companion.

'It's the employees' lounge.'

'Right!'  With an angry flourish, Skinner wrenched the door open.  
'We'll see what Agent Mulder has to say for himself.'

'Sir,' O'Connell warned sharply.  'You can't go down there.  You'll 
jeopardise the operation.'  He glanced down at a printed sheet on the 
desk.  'According to this rota he's off shift in half an hour.  You 
can speak to him then.'

'Yes,' Skinner reluctantly agreed.  'You're right.  But turn that damn 
thing off, for God's sake.'  He pointed to the recording of Mulder and 
partner, which now seemed to be reaching its climax.  He shook his 
head.  'I don't know how you cope with watching this kind of thing all 
night, 

I really don't.'  He closed the door and sat down, watching 
uncomfortably as O'Connell stopped and removed the tape then proceeded 
to flick from one live camera to the next in strict rotation, checking 
the activities taking place in the various other rooms, as well as 
observing all the entrances and exits.  

At long last one of the monitors showed Mulder shrugging on his 
leather jacket and heading for the rear exit of the club.  Skinner 
quickly slipped down the stairwell and into the street, where he saw 
Mulder loping off ahead of him, his new 'friend' by his side.  As they 
approached the bar across the street, Skinner hurried his walk to 
catch them up. 

'Hey!' he barked.  He ran up behind the two men and grabbed Mulder by 
the shoulder.  

Mulder jumped and turned round.  'Shit!  You scared me,' he laughed 
nervously.  But then he looked into Skinner's angry expression and his 
smile died.  'What do you want?'

'I'd like a word with you please.  In private.'

'Okay.'  Mulder sounded unsure.  

'You okay, Fox?' his companion asked, frowning doubtfully at Skinner. 

'Do you know this guy?'

'Yeah, sure.  It's fine Daniel, really.  Look, you go and get the 
drinks in.  I'll join you in a minute, okay?'

'Okay,' Daniel grinned.  He glanced again at Skinner.  'You sure 
you're okay, Fox?'

'I'm fine.  See you in a minute.'  Mulder waited until Daniel passed 
through the door into the thronging bar beyond before he turned to 
Skinner.  'What is it?' he hissed. 'What are you doing here?  You'll 
ruin everything.'  

'Me ruin everything?  I want to know what the hell you think you're 
playing at, Mulder,' Skinner hissed back angrily.  'You were on this 
case for a purpose, but it certainly wasn't for your own sluttish 
enjoyment!  Well I'm taking you off the case as of right now, so you 
might as well go home.  Do you really think I can justify your 
behaviour tonight to the board?'

Mulder's eyes widened, shocked by both Skinner's words and his obvious 
anger.

'What do you mean?'

'Oh, come off it Mulder.  I've just watched a tape of you and some 
guy, some 'client'.  He spat the final word in Mulder's face, spraying 
him lightly with spittle.

'Oh that.  Well I had no choice.' Mulder's tone was defensive.  He 
looked down, suddenly unable to meet the Assistant Director's 
blistering stare.  'The 'client' as you call him specifically 
requested me.  I had to go along with it or I'd have blown my cover.' 
 He blushed suddenly at his unfortunate choice of words. 'What 
difference does it make to you, anyway?' he muttered, turning away.  
'At least I was a willing participant this time.'  He stalked away 
into the club but Skinner followed him, grabbing his shoulder and 
roughly spinning him round, almost knocking him back through the open 
doorway. 

'Oh, like you weren't willing with Brace?' he taunted.

At last Mulder met Skinner's eyes. 'Maybe I was, for some of it,' he 
admitted quietly, his chin jutting upwards defiantly. 'But not for 
what he made me do to you, and certainly not for what you did to me.' 

As Skinner looked into his subordinate's eyes, he recognised the 
painful mist wreathed there and guilt gave him a vicious kick to the 
heart.  Frowning in confusion he reached out to place a comforting 
hand on Mulder's shoulder, but Mulder shrugged him off fiercely. 
'Don't touch me,' he shouted, twisting away.  Anxiously glancing past 
Mulder into the bar beyond, Skinner saw that they now both had an 
attentive audience, including Daniel, who, although they couldn't 
actually overhear what was being said, were nevertheless watching 
their exchange intently.  

'Calm down,' he warned, grabbing Mulder's wrist.  'Everybody's 
watching.'

'I don't care,' Mulder retorted angrily, tugging at his arm in an 
attempt to free himself from Skinner's fierce grip.  'And neither did 
you a minute ago.  Why don't you just get off me.'  He was suddenly 
silenced as Skinner's face swooped towards him.  Expecting a slap he 
flinched, but instead his mouth met with a rough kiss.  He felt 
Skinner's hand at the small of his back, pulling him closer, and as 
the initial shock waned he found himself melting into the kiss.  
Skinner's eyes, he saw, were closed, and he closed his own eyes too, 
enjoying the feel of Skinner's silky hot tongue as it probed his 
mouth.  A thrill ran up his spine as he realised that there was a hard 
bulge in Skinner's crotch where it pressed against him, and he pushed 
his own hips forward, reciprocating in an unconscious movement.  

When Skinner finally released him he was panting for breath.  He gazed 
into his superior's face, totally bewildered.

'Now you can tell them I'm your jealous lover,' Skinner growled 
tersely, jerking his head at the eager spectators before turning on 
his heel and marching out of the club without a backward glance.  
Mulder was left sagging against the wall, shocked, disorientated, but 
with the clear memory of Skinner's hardness pounding in his loins.

'Hey man!' Mulder heard a voice call out to him, then a hand gripped 
his elbow, guiding him towards the bar.  

'What the hell was that all about?' Daniel inquired, pressing a glass 
into Mulder's trembling hand.

'Oh, he's just a guy I used to work for,' Mulder explained, thinking 
quickly.  He rolled his eyes, as if exasperated.  'He still thinks he 
owns me.  He's the jealous type, y'know?'

'Yeah, man, I got that all right!' his companion replied.  He looked 
concerned.  'That the guy who gave you those bruises last week?  When 
you first started at Joey's?'  Mulder nodded truthfully and took a sip 
of his drink.  The alcohol was pleasant and reassuring and he took a 
deep breath.  He really needed to calm down.  

'Hey, you wanna tell him to piss the hell off,' Daniel continued.  
'You shouldn't put up with that kind of shit from anyone you know.'

Mulder laughed bitterly.  'Yeah, well, it's easier said than done 
sometimes, isn't it?'

'All the same,' Daniel lectured.  'You shouldn't let anyone push you 
around like that.'  He then proceeded to tell Mulder about the time 
his ex-pimp had pursued him across three states before he'd finally 
shaken him off his tail.  Mulder suddenly realised that Daniel thought 
Skinner was his pimp!  He started to laugh, thankfully feeling all the 
tension draining from his body.  Daniel watched him in bright-eyed 
amusement.

'Hey, now, that's better, my friend,' he grinned.  'Hey, y'know, we've 
worked pretty hard tonight, haven't we?  How about we get a bottle of 
something strong and get drunk.  I know I could sure do with it!'

Mulder shrugged.  'Okay,' he agreed, still smiling. 'Why not?'

***

After a couple of shots of bourbon Mulder seriously began to relax.  
The liquor burned a fiery path deep within him and the resultant 
warmth spread throughout his body, melting away the rest of the 
tension in his muscles and helping him to unwind.  He found that 
Daniel made a sharp and witty companion and some of the things the 
young man said made him laugh in a way that he'd rarely had chance to 
in recent months.  He was still unused to drinking so much alcohol at 
one sitting but he'd heard that people drank to forget and he 
certainly wanted to banish all thoughts of Skinner from his mind so 
what the hell?.  The knots of confusion in his both head and heart 
hurt too damn much to try to unravel at the moment.  Instead, he told 
himself, he would try to concentrate on the case.  For Stevie. 

'Hey Fox,' Daniel muttered, suddenly elbowing him in the ribs and 
interrupting his thoughts.  'Look who's back.'  

As he turned from the shadowy recesses of their booth to see Skinner 
shrugging off the rain in the brightly lit entrance vestibule, Mulder 
experienced a strange blend of diverse emotions.  In his dark and 
formal clothing the Assistant Director looked totally out of place in 
the relaxed atmosphere of the bar. It was obviously still raining 
heavily outside.  There were dark patches on the shoulders of 
Skinner's coat and Mulder watched as the big man pulled a handkerchief 
from his pocket and proceeded to polish his lenses dry in his usual 
efficient manner.

Still covertly watching him, Mulder lightly touched his fingertips to 
his mouth. The memory of that fierce kiss still hung there and the 
thought of how Skinner's erection had dug into his hip now reheated 
his own groin.  He shook his head in disbelief.  Had that really 
happened? 

The man looked so solid and dependable as he stood there meticulously 
removing every fleck of rain from his spectacles, so absurdly safe.  
Was this really the same man who'd assaulted him in his own apartment? 
 The one who'd earlier thrilled him with that crushing kiss?  

As Mulder sat there, his senses dulled by tiredness and alcohol and 
confused emotions twisting infuriatingly out of his grasp, he felt a 
sudden yearning for the old predictable Skinner, the one who'd 
reliably yelled at him for going over-budget on his expenses account, 
or who questioned him incredulously when he submitted his case 
reports, but who nevertheless always made it clear to him that he 
cared about him and respected him.  He didn't want this weird 
confusion of someone who despised and abused him one minute then 
passionately kissed him the next.  

'Cover for me, will you?' he suddenly pleaded with Daniel.  'Say you 
haven't seen me?  I can't face him right now.'  Daniel nodded and 
Mulder slid softly from his stool, melting into the murky depths of 
the bar's restroom area.

'No, haven't seen him since about an hour ago,' Daniel drawled moments 
later, in response to Skinner's terse questioning.  'Said he was going 
to go on home.'  

Skinner shook his head impatiently.  'I've already been to his 
apartment,' he snapped.  'He isn't there.'

Daniel shrugged his shoulders.  'Sorry then dude, can't help you.  
Hey, though, you wanna buy me a drink instead and the two of us can 
get to know each other a little better?'  Daniel winked at him 
suggestively and almost laughed out loud as Skinner backed away.

'No, actually, I wouldn't.  But if you do see him,' Skinner requested 
with forced civility, 'would you please tell him that I was looking 
for him?'

'Yeah, sure.  Gotta kiss and make-up, huh handsome?  Though I gotta 
tell ya, you should keep your hands to yourself in future.  No more 
slapping the guy around, okay?'  

Again Skinner fought to contain his temper.  'What the hell are you 
talking about?' he demanded.  His fists were suddenly tightly bunched 
at his sides.

'Oh, you know what I mean, big guy.  Just keep those meaty hands to 
yourself, yeah?'  He then quite deliberately turned his back on 
Skinner, grinning into the bottom of his drink as he drained the 
glass.  Skinner stood there for a moment, struggling silently for 
something else to say, then lost for words, he turned on his heel and 
swiftly marched back out into the dark, rain-swept night.

When Mulder returned Daniel was intrigued.  'So what is it with you 
and the big guy?' he questioned.  'There's definitely something going 
on.'

Mulder groaned and pulled a face.  'It's really not worth talking 
about,' he said, downing his shot of bourbon in one.  'Wow, this is 
good stuff!'

But Daniel ignored him and continued excitedly. 'Well, I tell you what 
I think,' he grinned.

'What's that then?'

'I reckon this Skinner guy's one jealous son of a bitch.'

'Eh?'  Mulder looked at him incredulously.  'How'd you work that one 
out?'

'Never mind pimping for ya,' Daniel said seriously, tapping his 
forehead knowingly.  'I think he wants you for himself.  You've fucked 
each other in the past, right?'

Mulder said nothing, only stared silently down into his empty glass.

'You have, haven't you?  I can tell!'

Mulder shrugged.  'Kinda,' he conceded.

'What do you mean, kinda?'

'Well, we did have ... you know, sex.  It was just the one time, 
but...'  His voice trailed off and he chewed his thumbnail nervously, 
torn between the need to keep his terrible secret and the desperate 
yearning to offload its weight.

'But what?'  Daniel waited.  He could see the pressure building within 
his new friend; Mulder's face was an agony of pain and long pent-up 
feelings.

'Hey, c'mon,' Daniel coaxed gently.  'You can tell me.  It won't go 
any further, that I can promise ya.'

Mulder faced Daniel, his expression suddenly serious.' If I do tell 
you something,' he said earnestly, 'do you promise to keep it to 
yourself?'

'Yeah sure.  You can tell me anything.'  He leaned in 
conspiratorially, so that their dark heads were almost touching.'

Mulder took a deep breath.  Oh what the hell?  What difference would 
it make anyway?  It might do him good to actually talk to somebody.  
Really talk.  He thought guiltily of Scully, then pushed her right out 
of his mind.

'Six months ago I was raped by this guy,' he began quickly. His eyes 
grew bright with tears but he blinked them back furiously.  'I just 
couldn't get over it, y'know?'  He sighed deeply.  'It totally fucked 
me up.  But then it got even worse.  The guy, Brace his name was.  
Albert Brace.  You ever heard of him?'

Daniel shook his head.  He poured another shot of bourbon into 
Mulder's glass and Mulder picked it up gratefully, nursing it as he 
spoke.  'Well, he got away with it at the time, but then he came back 
a few months later and he did the same to Skinner.'

'That's the big guy, right?  No shit!'

Mulder nodded.  'But that's not all,' he went on.  'I was an FBI agent 
at the time.  Well, technically I still am one I suppose, but I've 
been on sick leave forever and..'

'The FBI?' Daniel interrupted.  'Really?  Skinner too?'

'Yeah, he's my boss.'

Daniel raised his eyebrows.  'Wow, the FBI.  What branch?  I mean, 
like what department?'

Mulder gave a lop-sided sheepish grin.  'Oh, you wouldn't believe me 
if I told you.'

Daniel nodded thoughtfully.  'Okay, it's not that important.  But I'm 
intrigued.  You and this Skinner, you two were lovers before all this 
happened, right?'

'No,' Mulder said miserably, shaking his head, all trace of his watery 
smile immediately gone.  'Not at all.'

Between threatened tears and gentle prompts from Daniel, Mulder found 
himself to be telling the whole sorry story.  He was shocked by how 
glibly the words just fell from his lips, but Daniel only watched him 
with a steadfast gaze and an equally steady hand which repeatedly 
filled and re-filled Mulder's glass until the last part of the story 
tumbled out in a drink befuddled daze.

'So God only knows what I'm gonna do next,' Mulder slurred.  His chin 
had dropped to his chest and he swayed slightly on his stool.  He was 
tired now.  It had taken a big effort to finally confide in someone 
and all he wanted to do now was go home to bed.

Daniel sat quietly, deep in thought for a few moments, then he shook 
Mulder's arm.  Mulder looked up half-heartedly and propped his chin on 
his hand.

'Hey, instead of sitting here all depressed,' Daniel whispered, 'd'ya 
wanna test my theory?' he grinned enticingly, flicking his dark hair 
out of his eyes.  There was a dangerous glitter in their black icy 
depths, but Mulder either didn't see it or chose to ignore it.

'What theory?  What do you mean?'

'About the big guy, Skinner.'  He leaned in closer, whispering.  'I 
didn't tell you before but he's still here, y'know.  He didn't buy my 
story about me not knowing where you were.  He snuck in the back ten 
minutes after he left the front way and he's been watching us the 
whole time ever since.'

Startled by this sobering revelation, Mulder, instantly alert now, 
scanned the room anxiously but couldn't see Skinner anywhere. God help 
him if he'd been overheard in what he'd confided to Daniel, especially 
as he'd confessed about working under cover. He opened his mouth to 
speak but Daniel placed a warning finger to his lips.

'Shh,' he whispered.  'Just come with me.'  He jumped off his stool, 
landing neatly on his feet like a cat, and as he headed for the exit 
Mulder meekly trailed behind.

Seconds later, keeping in the shadows, Skinner followed.

***

The club was in virtual darkness as Skinner slipped silently up the 
rear stairwell and entered the deserted surveillance booth.  He 
pressed a few switches on the various pieces of equipment, and as the 
machinery whirred into life he shrugged off his wet raincoat and 
settled into one of the vacant chairs, leaning back to take in a wide 
view of the bank of flickering monitors before him.  

Minutes later he sucked in a deep breath as one of the monitors 
revealed a rain-soaked and bedraggled-looking Mulder nervously 
entering one of the rooms. Daniel appeared seconds later, and in one 
swift movement he had kicked the door shut behind them, roughly pushed 
Mulder up against the wall and begun to kiss him passionately.

Although taken by surprise at the speed of the other man's advances, 
Mulder found himself responding hungrily as he was engaged in a very 
full and sensual kiss. He felt Daniel's hand groping between his legs, 
pressing against the hard mound at his crotch and he involuntarily 
clamped his legs together.  'Daniel?' He laughed uncertainly as they 
broke apart, rubbing the back of his hand over his mouth.  'Danny Boy, 
whatcha doing to me?'    

The slurred speech and unsteady movements made it obvious to Skinner 
that Mulder had had far too much to drink.  He watched, frowning and 
agitated, as Daniel's eager hands pushed up the wet material of 
Mulder's grey cotton T-shirt, baring his smooth chest.  The room was 
dimly lit and bathed in shadows, but he could still clearly see 
Daniel's nimble fingers delicately teasing Mulder's nipples and his 
straining ears heard Mulder's deep gratified moans.  He watched 
intently as their lips met again and Daniel's tongue probed Mulder's 
mouth, hot and wet.  He realised he was holding his breath and exhaled 
slowly, only dimly aware of the hardness growing between his own legs 
and rubbing at his crotch absent-mindedly.  Daniel dragged Mulder's 
wet shirt up over his head, lingering to tease his taut nipples once 
more before deftly unbuckling his belt and sliding his jeans down over 
his thighs.  He fell to his knees then and covered Mulder's straining 
cock with his mouth, licking and sucking noisily, and Mulder leaned 
back, bracing himself against the wall.  He stretched his head 
upwards, eyes closed, groaning with pleasure.  

As he watched closely on the monitor Skinner couldn't deny his own 
excitement.  The growing heat between his legs disturbed him as he'd 
so far justified all of his actions by telling himself he was simply 
ensuring Mulder's safety.  After all, for all he knew Daniel could be 
the killer.  He didn't even attempt to justify his next move though.  
Beside the control panel in front of him stood a leaning stack of 
video tapes which O'Connell had obviously prepared for the following 
day and without even a second's pause to question why, Skinner slipped 
a tape into the machine and flicked the record button.  As he watched 
the screen, his breath ragged and erection growing, a familiar emotion 
was slashing at his heart, something painful and ripe and no longer as 
slyly evasive as it had previously been.  He mewed somewhere deep in 
the base of his throat as he watched Daniel sliding up over Mulder's 
arched body, tonguing his way up over his taut belly and back down 
again to the pulsing heat of his cock.  Unable to resist he pressed 
his hand to his own erection which was now straining hard against the 
material of his pants.  He groaned and began to rub himself before 
pulling down his zipper and fumbling for the engorged flesh inside.  
Although appalled by his response to the pictures on the flickering 
monitor he nevertheless squirmed helplessly as he squeezed his cock 
which was hard and unyielding in his sweaty grip.  

Thanking God that he still had one good hand to jack off with, Skinner 
closed his eyes as he leaned back, spreading his legs and sweeping his 
hand slowly up and down his hard shaft.  He shamefully thought of how 
good it would be to ram his cock right up Mulder's sweet ass and he 
groaned, the indignity of his runaway thoughts suddenly sending a jolt 
right through him as his fingers curled tightly around his erection.

'God I hate you for this Mulder,' he moaned under his breath.

Do you really hate Mulder? he asked himself.  Really?  Why do you?

Why? Because he raped me of course.  Except that it isn't true. I 
don't hate Mulder.

But you're angry with him for raping you?

No.

Then why are you angry with him?  Is it because Mulder had wanted 
Brace to fuck him?

Yes.  

Then you're jealous.

Yes. Yes, yes, oh God yes.

His hand became a blurred flurry in the darkness as his heart accepted 
the bitter truth of a jealousy he'd lived for so long but always 
viciously denied.  The writhing figures on the monitor faded as he was 
swept away on an irresistible tide of lust and shame and Mulder, 
Mulder, beautiful Mulder: Mulder on his knees being fucked, me, my 
cock up his ass, in his mouth, fucking him.  I'm fucking Mulder ... 
oh, Mulder, Mulder ...  

***

One floor below, Daniel was looking teasingly up at Mulder's flushed 
face.  'Want me to tie you up?' he whispered.  He stood up and pulled 
Mulder into a tight embrace, pressing his mouth very close to Mulder's 
ear.  'Want me to tie you up and fuck you?  I guarantee the old guy's 
watchin' us.  Let's give him a show worth watching and really piss him 
off.'

After a moment's hesitation, Mulder nodded his agreement.  His jeans 
and boxer shorts were still pooled around his knees and he shuffled 
over to the bed and sat down, lifting his feet one at a time in order 
to pull off his shoes and socks.  He looked around the shadowy room, 
peering over his shoulder and noticing for the first time the cuffs 
and chains hanging from various points on the high iron bedstead.  He 
then glanced up at the ceiling, searching for the hidden camera he 
knew was there, almost relieved when he couldn't see it.  Although he 
was extremely aroused and his cock was so hard it was actually 
throbbing, he was beginning to feel increasingly uncomfortable about 
being here.  He deeply regretted telling Daniel about Brace, and what 
on earth had possessed him to mention the investigation?  Skinner 
would just kill him if he found out.  This had been his chance to 
prove something to Skinner.  Exactly what it was he was trying to 
prove he didn't know, but he felt it all melting out of his grasp.  At 
the thought of Skinner possibly watching him now he felt a wave of 
nausea strike him and he put his hand up to his mouth to try to stifle 
it.

'I feel a bit sick,' he confessed to Daniel through his fingers.  'I 
don't normally drink this much, in fact I don't normally drink at all. 

Jesus, what the hell am I doing?'

'What you're doing is getting your kit off so that I can fuck that 
delicious ass of yours,' Daniel reminded him.  'Come on, man, I'm 
gonna fuck you 'til you scream for mercy.'

'Daniel...'

'Hey, c'mon, don't back out now,' Daniel called over his shoulder as 
he closed the blinds at the window.  'You're gonna get the best fuck 
of your life.  There's nothing to worry about?'  

Reluctantly, Mulder removed the rest of his clothing then crawled onto 
the bed on his hands and knees. 'No,' Daniel hissed urgently as he 
neared the bed. 'Flip over.  I want him to see your face.'   Mulder 
hesitated, then obediently turned over and lay back.  He was shivering 
a little in the coolness of the room, his hair still damp from the 
dash through the lashing rain outside.

'Daniel,' he said doubtfully, pushing himself up onto his elbows.  
'Look, I - I'm really not sure about this.  I think I'd better go 
home.'

'Shh, it's okay, lie down,' Daniel urged, gently smoothing his warm 
hands over Mulder's shoulders and pushing him backwards down onto the 
bed.  Bending forward he ran the tip of his moist tongue over Mulder's 
lower lip, then nipped him gently.  'Tell me,' he whispered, nuzzling 
softly at Mulder's ear.  'What did that Brace guy do to you to make 
you so nervous?  Was it really that bad?'

'Huh?'

'Brace.  The guy who raped you.  How did he do it?  Was he rough?  Did 
he hurt you?  Or did he think he was making love to you?'

Mulder almost choked as he tried to speak.  He attempted to sit up but 
Daniel again pushed him firmly back down onto the mattress.

'Daniel, I - I don't really want to talk about it.'

'Sure you do.  It'll help you.  C'mon baby, you can tell me.  What's 
the matter?'  He bent his head down to Mulder's chest, his hot wet 
tongue swirling over the smooth skin, teasing the little nipples into 
hard points between his teeth.  Mulder gasped, involuntarily thrusting 
his hips upward, making Daniel smile as he took Mulder's throbbing 
erection in his hand and began to slide his fist lazily up and down 
its impressive length.  'Did he rape you the one time, or more than 
once?' he pressed.  'Tell me.'

'It was more than once,' Mulder gasped.  Daniel's hand was so skilful, 
and oh, he was so hard.

'What was it like then, the first time?  Tell me baby.'

'I don't want to.'

'Tell me! It can't have been that bad.'  

'Daniel, it was, it was awful.  It really hurt.'  He stopped abruptly. 

It was difficult to speak with that slow maddening hand sweeping 
slowly up and down his cock.  He strained against it, desperate for 
more.  'I'd never... ohhhh, God, Daniel ... '

'Never what?' Daniel pressed.

'Never done anything like that before.  Had...you know.'

'Anal sex?'  

'Yeah.'  Mulder groaned in disappointment as Daniel's hand released 
him.  'It hurt like hell. At first anyway.'  

'Didn't you like it?'  Daniel's bright eyes were watching his face 
carefully, almost gleefully.   

'No, of course not.  It was like being tortured. The pain was 
unbearable.  I was all tensed up so it took ages for him to penetrate 
me.  It was the worst pain I'd ever known.  Plus he made my partner 
watch us, I was humiliated.'

'So you didn't like it at all.  Not one tiny bit?'  

Mulder hesitated.  'Well,' he continued reluctantly, 'after a while it 
gradually stopped hurting so much and eventually it started to feel 
good.  I hated him for it.'

'I bet it made your dick hard, yeah?'

Mulder nodded.

'Yeah I bet it did, and even though you were being raped, even though 
you'd never had a cock in your ass before, I bet you came, right?'

Again Mulder nodded.

'So what about the next time, when he came back. Did he hurt you 
then?'

Mulder shook his head.  'No.'

'You enjoyed it that time though, didn't ya?  You wanted his cock 
slammin' up your hole?  C'mon man, admit it!'

Mulder looked away.  He bit his lip then said quietly, 'Yes, I wanted 
it.  I practically begged him to fuck me.  It was sick.  The whole 
thing was sick.'

'But you can't stop thinking about it?  You dream about it, don't you? 

You jerk off wishing he were fucking you.  You let other men fuck you, 
wishing it was him?'

Mulder nodded, his face averted, his cheeks crimson with shame.   

'Want me to be him now?' Daniel breathed.  His lips were almost 
touching Mulder's cheek, his breath warm and spicy.  'You can pretend 
I'm him, fucking you.' 

After a moment's hesitation, Mulder again nodded.  'I liked it when he 
called me baby,' he confessed in an ashamed whisper.

'Okay my baby,' Daniel crooned.  'Gonna take care of you, my little 
boy.'  He withdrew a black velvet blindfold from the drawer in the 
little bedside table and slid it carefully over Mulder's eyes.  'You 
okay with that baby?' he questioned, fastening the Velcro behind 
Mulder's head.  Mulder nodded, surprised at how excited he was by this 
new kink in the proceedings.  The blindfold made it easier to pretend 
he was with Brace. He still felt uncomfortable lying on his back 
though. 

He'd much rather turn over and kneel up on all fours.  He tried to 
relax as he felt Daniel's fingertips sliding over his tensed chest and 
shoulders then raised his arms above his head when Daniel instructed 
him to.  Two clicks and he felt his wrists encased in steel.  Allowing 
Daniel to cuff his wrists and secure them to the bedstead, he felt the 
muscles in his shoulders stretch uncomfortably as Daniel yanked on the 
chains but when he protested it only seemed to provoke Daniel into 
pulling them even tighter.  

'Ow, that hurts.'

'Stop complaining.'  Daniel finished buckling the tight leather cuffs, 
then he quickly restrained Mulder's ankles in a similar fashion.

'Daniel?' Mulder called out in alarm as his legs were suddenly jerked 
apart.  'I'm not so sure about this.  I don't want to be like this.  
I'd rather go face down, on my knees.'  A sharp memory brought a 
bitter gall to his mouth: Brace brutally raping him as he lay 
similarly imprisoned on his back on Scully's bed.  Scully had watched, 
he thought anxiously, she had had to watch him rape me.  Is Skinner 
watching me now?  Watching me as I lie on my back with my legs spread 
and my cock and ass on display.

'Daniel, please.  I'd rather go face down.  I don't really like it 
like this.'  

Grinning wickedly, Daniel placed his mouth next to Mulder's ear.  
'Wanna know what's gonna happen Mr FBI man?  Huh?  You wanna know?'  
His voice seemed to have dropped an octave and there was a grind to it 
that Mulder no longer liked.

'What?'  Mulder suddenly felt panicky, his throat seeming to constrict 
making it difficult for him to breathe.  Something wasn't right.  
Where was the humorous affable Daniel?  The genial companion who'd 
made him laugh not more than a couple of hours ago.

'We're gonna fucking kill the bastard,' he breathed.

'What?  Who?  What do you mean?'

'The old guy, Skinner.  I'm gonna kill him.  We can both screw him and 
then kill him and carve the fucker up.' 

Mulder pulled sharply on the cuffs in alarm.  'That isn't funny, 
Daniel,' he warned.  'I-I don't like it, let me go.'

'It isn't supposed to be funny, shithead.'

Mulder felt a darkness rise within him and threaten to swallow him 
whole and for a moment he felt as if he was going to black out. He 
forced himself to breathe evenly.  'Daniel, would you please let me 
go?' he said much more calmly than he felt.  'Please.  You're scaring 
me.'

Daniel's eyes narrowed to black-flint slits in his flushed face, and 
he sat back on his haunches, studying Mulder's frightened expression. 
 'Scaring ya, huh?' he scorned, flicking back his damp hair.  He slid 
his hand between Mulder's open thighs and grasped his rapidly 
softening penis.  'Judging by the state of this thing I guess you're 
gonna say you don't want me to fuck you now either.'

Mulder swallowed hard.  'I - I've changed my mind,' he stuttered.  'I 
just want to go, Daniel.  Please let me go.'  

'Oh no, you don't get off that easy.'  Daniel increased the pressure 
on Mulder's penis, squeezing hard almost to the point of pain.  'What 
are you anyway, some kind of prick-teaser?'

'No!  I-I've just changed my mind.  Please let me go.'  In a panic, 
Mulder began to wrench at the cuffs and chains, rattling them noisily 
against the bedstead.

The noise made Skinner open his eyes and look at the screen.  
Realising he'd been on the verge of dozing off, he gradually 
re-focussed, pushing himself up a bit in the chair.  His heels were 
still up on the desktop, his come-filled hand still cradled in his 
lap, and he now sat up, reaching for his handkerchief and blotting 
awkwardly at the sticky mess.  As he did so he glanced at the monitor 
and what he then saw shocked him.  It seemed the game had progressed a 
lot further, for Mulder was trussed up and blindfolded, and Daniel, 
moving in swiftly, quick and dark like a panther, was slapping him 
hard across the face.  Mulder was struggling against the bonds which 
held him, kicking out with his heels and wrenching at the leather 
cuffs.

'Stop it,' Daniel yelled angrily.  'Just keep fucking still.'  He 
lashed out with yet another a vicious strike.  Mulder's head rocked 
and he immediately stopped kicking.  He lay stunned and defeated, 
blood oozing from his nose and his cheek grazed and reddened.  

Although Mulder's face was partially obscured by the soft black stuff 
of the blindfold, Skinner could clearly see the crimson imprint of a 
hand on his right cheek. A thin line of blood trickled slowly from his 
nostril before pooling at the corner of his mouth.  Skinner stared at 
the screen, horrified, scrutinising the monitor carefully as Mulder's 
head lolled.  Jesus, was this how Mulder got his kicks nowadays?  By 
getting someone to abuse him so he could relive the whole sordid Brace 
episode?  He leaned towards the monitor, the flickering light 
illuminating the deep frown lines in his forehead.

The shock of the blow had been enough to quieten Mulder and he lay 
limp and barely flinching as Daniel pulled another length of black 
material from under the pillow, gagging him with it, and looping it 
tightly around his throat before fanning out the loose ends over the 
pillow either side of his face.  

'Don't do that again,' Daniel warned, wagging his finger in Mulder's 
blind face.  He stood up and fumbled for something in the nightstand 
drawer, then was back, perching on the edge of the bed.   'What you 
need is a good fucking,' he scolded.  He traced the tip of his finger 
slowly down the curve of Mulder's chest, grinning to feel the anxious 
fluttering of the heart within its luxuriously smooth skin.  His 
fingers continued their descent, down over the tensed belly and 
trailing through tight dark curls.  Dipping his hand suddenly he 
grasped Mulder's left buttock and squeezed hard.  'Spread your legs 
wider,' he commanded.  Mulder was panting, his chest rising and 
falling rapidly as he fought between the pleasure, the pain and dark 
panic in his head. 

'C'mon, c'mon, don't take all day.'

Slowly Mulder stretched his thighs further apart, flinching when the 
other man began to slide a thick squirt of lubricant in and around his 
anus.  

'Yep,' exclaimed Daniel cheerfully.  'A good hard fucking is what you 
need.  Then you might come around to my way of thinking, Mr FBI.'

Watching breathlessly from the surveillance booth, Skinner felt at 
once both repulsed and enthralled by the scene which was unfolding 
before his eyes. He'd been shocked when Daniel had struck Mulder for 
the first time, but although it was hard for him to admit, he 
nevertheless found he actually enjoyed seeing Mulder hurt and almost 
wanted him to feel pain.  Another part of him though, was appalled 
that he should be sitting here, observing one man assaulting another 
and doing absolutely nothing to stop it.  'He's probably all just an 
act,' Skinner wrongly assumed, 'but it's sick all the same.  And I'm 
sick for watching it.' 

Nevertheless he continued to watch as Mulder pulled weakly on the 
tight cuffs.  He was too tightly bound though, and could only squirm 
uncomfortably as Daniel's hard slippery fingers forced the lubricant 
deep inside him.  Skinner heard muffled protests coming from behind 
the gag, though was still convinced that this was surely all part of 
the game between the two men.  

On the monitor he saw Daniel looming over a shrinking Mulder, again 
leaning to whisper something in his ear but Mulder shook his head 
fervently, clearly distressed.  Skinner strained to make out what 
Daniel was saying, disappointed when it proved impossible to hear.  
When Mulder again frantically shook his head, Daniel slapped him so 
hard across the cheek that the sound of the blow cracked like a pistol 
shot.

'Okay, okay.  That's enough.  Don't be so rough with him.  Just fuck 
him already.'

Where the hell did that voice come from?  Skinner sat upright, staring 
at the monitor intently.  There was someone else in there, another 
man.  A shadow loomed briefly and he could see the dark outline of a 
head and well-defined shoulders before the figure faded into the 
darkness once more.

Daniel grinned down at Mulder's confused expression.  'Okay, you heard 
what the man said,' he sneered.  As he spoke he quickly unbuckled his 
own belt and swiftly removed his jeans. He ripped open a condom packet 
with his teeth and within seconds had expertly slid the sheath over 
his erection. He clambered onto the bed, gripping Mulder's calves and 
roughly forcing his legs even further apart.  Mulder again tried to 
kick, but his ankles were firmly cuffed and he only succeeded in 
rattling the chains. Skinner heard his muffled cries behind the gag as 
he attempted to force Daniel off before Daniel once again slapped him 
hard.  

'Do you want me to hurt you?' Daniel threatened.  'Really hurt you?  
No?  Well keep still then.'  He quickly covered Mulder's body with his 
own and entered him savagely, within seconds striking up a relentless 
battering rhythm and ignoring Mulder's anguished cries.  

It finally dawned on Skinner that this was no game.  Listening to 
Mulder's agonized grunting sobs echoing clearly over the sound system 
of the tiny surveillance booth he realised with a crashing sense of 
horror that in no way was Mulder a willing participant; he was 
actually the victim of a brutal rape.  Yet Skinner still continued to 
watch, hating himself for it yet unable to drag his eyes away.  His 
good hand went to his mouth and he bit his knuckles, stifling a moan 
as he relived the horror of his own rape. 

As he heard Mulder's muffled howl as Daniel's teeth buried themselves 
into his neck, Skinner felt tears streaking down his face.  He paid 
them no heed, instead watching as Daniel's body powerfully drove 
itself forward again and again before gripping Mulder's shoulders 
fiercely and laughing down into his face as he rammed into his ass in 
deeper and deeper, his body shuddering at the power of his orgasm.  He 
slumped down onto the arch of Mulder's rigid body, still thrusting 
brutally, determined to rid himself of every drop of semen and force 
it deep inside the hot slick hole of the tortured man beneath him.  He 
licked his lips, and tasting blood looked down to see he'd bitten 
Mulder's neck rather harder than he thought.  There was a ragged wound 
there, which now wept dark tears of blood.    

Skinner watched in agony as Daniel extricated himself, quickly slid 
off the bed and reached down onto the floor for his crumpled clothes 
before disappearing from the monitor into the shadows without a word. 
 A slice of light spilled onto the floor and seconds later came the 
sound of running water.  Skinner sat still, and as he studied Mulder's 
prone form he could see his chest rapidly rising and falling in time 
with his own shallow breathing.  Mulder briefly tried to free himself 
from the cuffs, but the chains rattled noisily and he immediately fell 
still.  The blindfold had slipped and his eyes, huge with fear, 
constantly searched the shadows. Skinner could hear him whimpering 
quietly behind the gag. 

He sounded so much like a child lost and afraid in the dark that it 
tore Skinner's heart in two.

Minutes passed and Skinner still continued to sit.  He heard a muffled 
whispering from the shadows, then Daniel was back, taunting and 
jeering.  This time he spoke loudly and his voice rang out clearly in 
the tiny surveillance booth.

'So, d'ya think he was watching, baby?  D'ya think he was watching us 
fuck?  Huh?'  Mulder flinched as Daniel's hand neared his face but the 
young Irishman merely eased back his captive's damp fringe where it 
clung to his sweat-soaked forehead.  Whilst he did so he muttered 
words of comfort, his voice smooth and soothing, as if he were calming 
a child after a nightmare, but the words chilled Skinner's soul. 'Did 
ya think Mr high and mighty Skinner was gonna charge in and save you, 
Fox?' Daniel went on.  'Or do you think he watched the whole damn 
thing and did nothing?'  

Skinner felt his skin crawling as stared at the screen in horror.

'Where is he then?' Daniel jeered.  'Doesn't he care?  And I thought 
he so liked you.  How wrong could I have been?'  A hard hand once more 
slapped into Mulder's face.  He blinked hard, his eyes smarting.  He 
tried in vain to squirm away, but the next blow, a vicious strike to 
his left temple, almost knocked him out.

'Hey!  I thought I told you to go easy,' a voice complained out of the 
darkness.  

Daniel turned.  'I'm sorry,' he said quickly.  'I tend to get a little 
carried away.'  He stepped back from the bed and turned to face the 
shadow man.

'It's okay, I understand,' came the voice again.  'Believe me I do.  
One last task, Daniel, okay?  Then the money's yours.' 

Daniel nodded, then turned and swiftly left the room.  Skinner sat 
mesmerised.  He definitely knew that voice.  His mind fumbled for it, 
exasperated as it hovered infuriatingly just out of reach.  

But then he was given the answer.

He stared in shock at the monitor as the second man moved into full 
view.  His slack mouth and staring eyes betrayed his horror as he 
watched the man perch on the bed beside Mulder, reach out and gently 
caress his cheek before grasped the gag and pulling it free.  Skinner 
saw Mulder shudder as if a snake had just slithered over his face.

'Get off me, you bastard,' he hissed.

The man threw back his head and laughed.  'I don't think you're in any 
position to tell me what to do, Fox, do you?'

At that moment Skinner was still staring at the screen open-mouthed, 
his heart racing, so that when the door behind him was flung open he 
cried out in horror.  He whirled in his seat to face the cavernous 
black eye of a large-barrelled shotgun.

'Surprise!'

Daniel smiled serenely at Skinner from behind the gun.  'Hello again 
Mr Skinner,' he drawled.  'Been enjoying the show?  Stand up slowly 
and turn to face me please.  Hands up now.'

Skinner swallowed hard knowing his face was crimson.  'Let's just take 
it easy,' he said carefully, raising his hands and moving slowly up 
out of his chair.  

'Oh, there's no time for that,' Daniel laughed.  He jerked the gun at 
Skinner, signalling for him to move towards the door.  'Move it, old 
man.  It's fun time for you!'

Frowning, Skinner's gaze jerked towards the monitor then back to 
Daniel and he shuddered to see a poisonous gleam in the black icy 
depths of the younger man's eyes.  'What do you mean?' he demanded.

'Oh you'll find out.  Come on, move it.  Downstairs, now!'  

Skinner ground his teeth angrily but remained silent. As he moved 
through the open door and into the dark stairwell he heard Daniel's 
voice grinding on behind him.  

'You'd like to screw Mulder, wouldn't you?  I can guess by the way you 
look at him when you think no-one else is watching.  You like to 
fantasise about him, don'tcha?  Maybe pull on your dick while you 
dream about shoving it up his pretty little ass?  And don't tell me 
your dick wasn't hard when you were watching us fuck just now.'

'You're sick.'

Daniel laughed.  'I'm right though, aren't I?  You saw the whole damn 
thing and enjoyed it too, I bet.  Think it served him right, did ya?'

Skinner remained silent and stony-faced, inwardly seething and vowing 
to get his revenge.

At the bottom of the flight of stairs a slice of light spilled out 
onto the corridor through the half open doorway and as Skinner was 
shepherded through it he came face to face with the man from the 
shadows.  

A new nightmare was about to begin.