Vampire Series Part VI by DiAnn Rating: NC17 - language, adult themes Category: MSSR/ Pure Trash / Discipline Warning: Mulder/Skinner/Scully If you don't like this kind of thing, or you are underage, go somewhere else . . . NOW! I don't want to hear from you and I don't want to hear from your Mama. Spoiler: None. Summary: Mulder pays his debt to the vampire king. Disclaimer: I do not, nor ever will, own Mulder, Scully, Skinner, Krycek or the X-Files. I am borrowing them without permission and am obviously not receiving money for this stuff. We all know who they really belong to, CC, Fox and lots of other people but again, not me. Vampire Series VI Bad Debt by DiAnn A Ranch in Colorado Walter Skinner burst into the room. "Get away from my sister, you Low Down Belly Crawling Snake." Mulder's head jerked up from where it was buried in Scully's beautiful hair. There, standing in the doorway was 'Western Wear Walter'. Jeans, blue work shirt, a white hat pulled low over his steely brown eyes and a Colt 45 pointed straight at Mulder. "I said . . . let go of my sister." Mulder released his hold on Dana Scully and watched as Skinner cocked back the hammer on the six gun in his hand. Oh Shit! Dana turned slowly, "Oh Walter, put down the gun. I was just giving a proper welcome to our new . . . brother." She smiled evilly at the shock on Walter's face. She didn't see that Mulder wore the same expression. He did not want to be Scully's brother. Jeep! Damned vampires. "What?" Skinner did not sound happy about this prospect either. "Hey what's going on?" Alex Krycek stepped into the room behind Skinner. Mulder growled and started for him, it was, after all, common practice to deliver a few punches upon sight of Alex. He was stopped by Scully's hand on his chest. "I wouldn't do that. My brother Alex may be smiling but he's dangerous. You'll learn that in a short order." "Learn what?" The third 'brother' stepped around Walter's broad back. Mulder gaped. "Frohike?" "What the hell's a Frohike? My name's Melvin, Melvin Skinner. The question is, who are you?" Scully's smile became bitter, "It would seem the old man brought home a wife. Guess that buying trip to the east was a little more successful than he planned. This," Scully pointed with disdain to Mulder, "is our new baby brother." Scully, in true sisterly form, looked more than happy to have placed the confused looks on her family's faces. The hang dog face on Mulder was just an added bonus. Then in the spirit of true western hospitality, they all, in unison welcomed Mulder to the family, "Ah, Shit!" Ranch Dining Room 20 Minutes Later Mulder looked around the Breakfast table. He was still in shock. Sitting at the head was none other than Charles Skinner. Looking as formidable and forbidding as his FBI Assistant Director son ever had. Sitting to his right, simpering and fawning over the big man was Mulder's mom, Teena Mulder, now Teena Skinner. And around the rest of the table, looking pissed off and ready to send Mulder back where he came from, preferably in a box, were his new siblings. Mulder sighed and stared down into his plate, knowing the way King D'Argario's fantasias were wont to go, this was not going to be pretty. "Walter! Alex! Melvin! Dana!" Mulder jumped as Charles Skinner barked out each name. "Yes, Sir." Came a chorus of prompt replies. "I want you all to help Fox get acclimated to his new home. Show him the ropes and" he eyed his clan meaningfully, "don't let him get killed." Frohike looked at Mulder evilly, "What if he gets hurt a little? A ranch is a dangerous place for a delicate little city kid." "A few bumps and bruises are bound to happen. Just make sure he survives and learns how to be a real rancher. City living is soft, toughen the boy up." "I am not a ," Mulder mumbled in disgust. Teena looked at him with reproach, "Fox, you're only nineteen. The other boys are older than you and more experienced on the ranch. You need to listen to them, Dear." "Yeah, you need to listen to us, ." Frohike sneered under his breath. Mulder gulped. Oh Shit! Two Hours Later Mulder wanted to cry. He had done some horse back riding while at Oxford. A friend had owned a large stable and they had gone together often. But this was torture. This hard under padded saddle was eating into his backside and they had been galloping full-tilt-boogy for what seemed like hours. He was sure his butt was a mass of blisters by now and his brains felt scrambled. However, his new 'family' showed no sign of slowing up. "Where are we going? And why so damned fast. Is there a fire or something?" "Shut up, Kid. We'll tell you what you need to know, when we're ready." Walter growled back at him. "Yeah," Frohike hissed at him. "We don't want you or your conniving mom here so just shut up and maybe we'll forget we're stuck with you . . . for a while anyway." They all laughed. It was not a friendly sound. It seemed it was fence mending day. They kept Mulder at the unfamiliar manual labor all day, sweltering under the relentless sun. They didn't even let him take a break for a noon meal. By sundown, Mulder was hot, thirsty, exhausted and totally pissed off. On the way back to the ranch they passed a tiny stream. It was just too inviting and Mulder pulled his cantankerous horse over to the water, dismounting before the animal was even fully stopped. "Hey! Get back on your horse. We're not stopping here." Frohike seemed to be the self-appointed tyrant of the family. But it was really hard to tell, they were all bullies. "Maybe you aren't stopping here, but I am." Mulder didn't bother looking at them as he spoke, he just got down on his belly and lowered his whole face into the refreshing water. Suddenly he found himself hauled up, his feet scrambling for purchase on the muddy bank. Alex was right in his face. "You want water, Pretty Boy, I'll give you water." Placing both hands in the middle of Mulder's chest, he pushed backward. It wasn't a very big creek so there really wasn't much of a splash. Kind of disappointing really, especially when Mulder chose to just lay where he fell. The landing on sharp rocks had been a little uncomfortable but actually the cool water was worth it. As expected, he felt himself hauled out of the stream by rough hands. But then they surprised him by throwing him face down over a fallen log. "Hey, let me up." "Sure Foxy, we'll let you up, just as soon as we teach you to do what we say, when we say it." Alex held his arms behind his back and he thought it was Frohike who was all but sitting on him. "Take his pants down, I want to see." "Jeep Dana," Alex moaned, "do you always have to be such a slut. You've got every man in the county hot on your tail, and you want this city boy too? And, he's your brother for Christ's sake." "Well he's real cute and besides he isn't blood relation. Come on Alex . . . Ple-e-e-e-ease," Dana whined. "I helped you get a look at Amy Morrison last Fourth of July." "Yeah, like that was some great big treat. Her chest was as flat as Melvin's. Maybe flatter." That earned him a glare from Frohike. "Not my fault. I took her skinny dippin' so you could find out for yourself. If you didn't like what you saw, that's your problem. Now it's pay back time, I want to see him." Alex looked over at his older brother, who was busily stripping the leaves off a freshly cut hickory switch, "Bare, Walter?" "Yeah, I want to whip him where his mama won't see it. I doubt she still has to diaper him. At least I don't think so. What about it, Baby Face, you out of nappies yet?" Mulder growled and struggled against the two people holding him down. "God damn it, this is not funny. Let me up right now. I am sick and tired of these f**king games." Frohike grinned. "Oh-h-h, the pretty little city boy has a temper and a dirty mouth." Walter smirked, "Not our problem, we'll let Pa deal with that. Right now we are going to give him his first lesson in obeying orders on a ranch. Alex?" Alex soon had Mulder's pants around his knees. Frohike was having a hard time holding the fighting, spitting and cursing federal agent over the log. Dana in the mean time, was giggling and clapping her hands. "I knew it! I just knew he would have a gorgeous backside. Just look at that." "It is a very nice ass, " Frohike agreed. Alex groaned, "Jeep, Melvin. I think I'm going to have to tell Pa that you like boys." "Well, so do you." "Yeah, but I like girls too." Frohike glared at Alex, "So what? You think that will make a big difference in the old man's eyes? You nail everything that walks, so it's okay? I don't think . . . " "Will you all just shut up!" Walter glared at his siblings, "I'd like to get this done and be back to the ranch before I turn into an old man." "You're already an old man. Let's see last birthday was twenty-eight, right Walter?" "Alex, I'm warning you . . . " "Will you come on Walter," Frohike pleaded. "He's stronger than he looks, I'm having a hard time holding him down." The switch landed with a breath taking smack across his butt. Mulder scrunched up his eyes and bite his lip. No way was he making one sound, he would not give them the satisfaction. Walter only delivered eight or nine painful stripes with the switch but they burned like hell, throbbed with every beat of the agent's heart. Walter probably wanted to do a lot more damage but was not really sure what 'Pa' would think about them beating his brand-new stepson. Mulder had a feeling the old man would not care in the least. He just hoped the four 'Siblings From Hell' didn't find out that little piece of information too soon. When they finally let Mulder up he had tears in his eyes but he had not made a sound during the entire embarrassing episode. Even when Krycek had copped a very thorough feel before releasing him. Bastard. If Mulder thought the horseback ride this morning had been bad, it was nothing compared to the one back to the ranch. Now he had a welted butt bouncing against the saddle. It didn't help that Dana kept batting her eye lashes at him while Walter and Alex looked daggers through him because of her flirting And worst of all, Frohike was making eyes at him too. Jeep! He was so busy watching what was going on with his untrustworthy companions he wasn't watching where his horse was going. It stepped into some kind of hole and went nuts. Mulder found out quickly that a childhood spent on Martha's Vineyard did not prepare one to stay on top of a bucking horse. The last thing he remembered was his head impacting with the ground. Back At The Ranch Alex stuck his head inside the ranch house door. He did not think that bringing the newest family member home unconscious was going to go over very well with his old man or 'that' woman . . . "Sh-h-h, no one's around. Get him upstairs, quick." He turned around to Walter, who had Mulder slung over his shoulder. Walter was a little puzzled that the boy's weight felt so familiar somehow. "Get who upstairs?" Charles Skinner had a reputation for not letting his wild children put anything over on him. They all froze where they were standing. "Did you go ahead and kill him after I told you not to?" Frohike found his tongue first, "He ain't dead, Pa. He let his horse stumble in a prairie dog hole and got thrown. He'll be okay in a little while." Charles Skinner rubbed a hand over his face. "Look, I know all of you are unhappy about my sudden marriage. That's understandable. But don't kill Christeena's kid. That's an order." None of the Skinner offspring would look their father in the eye. Charles Skinner sighed, it looked like a hard road ahead for Fox. Oh well, it would no doubt do the boy some good. If he survived. They carried their burden upstairs. Alex and Melvin arguing over who got to undress the unconscious man. "Why you Alex," Melvin pouted. "You always get all the good looking ones." "He wouldn't want you, Melvin. You're a little toad." "Well, I didn't see him showing any great interest in you either. Could the renowned Alex Skinner charm be wearing thin?" "I think he wants me." "You think everyone wants you, Dana," Alex sneered. Melvin added his own witty retort to back up his brother, "Yeah, Dana." Walter threw the man on the bed and turned to the others, "Will you all just shut up. I am going to put our 'baby brother' to bed. All of you just get out of here, I am tired of listening to you." Alex eyed his older brother, "You heard what Pa said, Walter, you can't kill him. Not in the house anyway." "Get out. NOW!" The Skinner clan scrambled for the door. Jeep! Sometimes Walter had the disposition of a rattlesnake. Walter started roughly pulling away layers of clothing from the man on the bed. When he was finally undressed, he ran his hand over the muscled chest and flat stomach. He was surprised by his reaction. Unlike his two semi-worthless brothers, he had never been interested in men sexually. But something about this one was different. He continued his explorations of Mulder's hard body until he heard a low moan and saw long lashes start to flutter. Hazel eyes opened and stared into his, "Walter?" Walter lowered his head and covered Fox' lush mouth. It felt right. It even felt familiar. Strange. And, more confusing, he was welcomed with open arms. He raised his head and looked into eyes, now dark with passion. Oh well, first time for everything. He turned Fox over, ran his hand over the welts his switch had left earlier, heard the man gasp as his calloused hand rubbed over sore skin. Then Walter reached for the oil Alex kept in this room. He rubbed some over the hurt cheeks, then probed his thick fingers between them. He was beginning to understand what Alex and Melvin saw in this practice. There was something very exciting about controlling a beautiful man like this. Fox was making the most wonderful whimpering sounds now. As he entered the hot tight body beneath him, Walter was shocked not only at how familiar this felt but at the wave of affection that washed over him. This could not be happening, he could not become soft on this city boy. Mulder now lay curled up on Walter's broad chest. At first he had pushed Fox away but then he just couldn't resist drawing him in closer. It was something about the feel of his soft dark hair and the unique way he smelled. Walter was still convinced that they had to get rid of the interloper and her son, but in the mean time, he planned to enjoy this beautiful boy. Whenever and wherever he wanted. The kid had sealed his fate when he didn't resist this first time. But why did it feel so damned familiar. Skinner Ranch The Next Morning Mulder awoke this time with a splitting headache. He looked around carefully through slitted eyes. Not yet light outside. What had awakened him? Then he felt it. A warm female withering against him. Scully! He would know that naked little body anywhere. He was immediately hard as a rock, in spite of last nights activities with Walter. It had been so long since he had awakened in Scully's arms. Well, actually it had only been day before yesterday. It just seemed like he had been on this God awful ranch for weeks. They made slow, passionate love. He was crazy about this woman. No one could make him feel the way Scully did. Scully actually screamed his name as she came. He soon followed with his own muffled cry and collapsed on the pillow beside her. "I love you, Sc . . . " The door to his room crashed back against the wall and hung from its broken hinges. Charles Skinner and a hysterical Teena stood in the doorway. "How dare you take advantage of my daughter in this manner? I have treated you like my own son and this is how you repay me? Dana, go to your room, Sweetheart. I know you are too innocent to know about the ways of slick city boys." "Yes, Pa." Scully let a couple of tears roll down her cheek, as she wrapped a blanket around her. She managed to give one evil smile to Mulder before leaving the room. "Fox, you will go straight to my den." Shit!ShitShitShit! Mulder was beginning to wonder just how much of one's real personality came through in these vampire fantasies. They were going to have to discuss this evil, manipulative streak that had become all too apparent in Scully. For the first time, he felt a little sorry Charlie and Bill Scully, Jr. - Skinner Ranch -Charles Skinner's Den Well this was a little too familiar. Mulder was bent over a large wooden desk, his pants around his ankles. Charles Skinner was droning on about how real western men did not take advantage of sweet innocent girls. And his mother was standing beside her new husband, a lace handkerchief pressed to her eyes. "Son, you are about to become acquainted with my razor strop. And I have a feeling it won't be the last time either. You have a way of finding trouble, Boy. You may have gotten away with this kind of behavior with your mother but not with me. You are going to grow up and become a man in this house. Now don't move." The rest of the Skinner family stood outside the closed door listening. There was no mistaking the sounds coming from inside the den. Alex winced, "Oh-h-h, that's gotta' hurt. Sounds like strap on bare to me." Frohike smiled, "Yeah, he won't be sitting for a while. Why isn't he yelling? Everybody always yells when Pa gets goin' with that old razor strop." "He's stubborn," Walter supplied. They all winced as several more loud cracks sounded through the door. Their father was using the six stokes in one spot and then move on to the next method. It was one of their father's worst ways of wielding that strap. Fox was getting a real hiding, no doubt about that. There wouldn't be an inch of skin on his butt or thighs that wasn't painted a dark burning red. Walter stared at them thoughtfully, "He's too bullheaded to leave here on his own. We are going to have to come up with something really good to get Pa to throw him off the ranch. He might even take that mother of his with him." Scully smiled happily, "Well, I'm doing my part." "Yeah," Alex sneered, "and it's what you do best, too." "You're just jealous 'cause you want him." Alex just shook his head, "I just want him gone." Then he decided to throw in a lie, "He's not my type." Dana looked skeptical at that. Everyone was Alex's type . . . everyone. Especially the tall, dark and gorgeous like their new brother. "Well, I want him," Frohike said honestly. "Will you all just shut up a minute, I can't think." Walter wondered how anyone ever got a good idea in this family of clucking chickens. The sound of leather on bare skin was coming now at an even, consistent tempo. Stroke after painful stroke, delivered slowly. Their dad was finishing up by covering every inch of blistered skin one more time. Alex fought the urge to rub his own backside. "We need to pull another job." "What!" "What!" "What!" "But you said we needed to lay off for a while, it's not like we need the money, Walter. It was always just for fun." Alex reminded him. "I changed my mind. We need to pull one more job. Maybe the bank in town. And Pretty Boy in there is going to help us. Pa already thinks he is a trouble maker. Once he finds out his new 'son' is a bank robber, it's back to Massachusetts or New York or wherever the hell he came from." Walter smiled smugly at his own cunning. "Won't he tell Pa that we were in on it?" Frohike wasn't sure about his plan at all. Walter was smart but he wasn't thinking straight, he just wanted to get rid of Fox right now. Frohike kind of liked the kid. He really wanted to get to know him a lot better. A tingle ran up his spine, a whole lot better. The door opened suddenly and a tear stained Mulder was shoved out to join his new brothers and one traitorous 'sister'. Charles stayed in the den to comfort his despondent new wife. Clear Creek, Edge of Town The Next Morning "I'm not robbing any bank!" "Yes, you are." "You wanna' bet?" Mulder had to draw the line here, someone could get hurt. He still wasn't really sure how realistic these little vampire plays were and he wasn't going to risk the lives of Scully or Skinner. As for Alex, if he ever got shot, Mulder wanted to be the one to do it. "Sure, we'll take that bet." All three brothers reached for their belt buckles. "You ever been bare-assed whipped by three men at once, Fox. It's real painful and extremely embarrassing when it happens in the middle of Main Street." Walter almost looked like it would rather do that than rob the bank. "The sheriff, Bill Scully, Jr. is friend of ours. He won't stop us until you have to be carried out of town, face down over your saddle. And that fine ass of yours should draw quite a crowd." Walter stared right into his eyes, "So do you get a public whipping or rob a bank?" Shit! Mulder just nodded his head. Why fight it? He had no illusions that Bill Jr. would rush to his rescue. He was going to rob a bank and then probably be hanged for it. That could be why the vampire had promised he would let Fox go after this weekend, he was going to be dead. Clear Creek Bank One Hour Later Mulder looked around carefully. There were only two customers in the bank, a man and a woman who appeared to be together. Other than that there was just the manager and one lone terrified teller. He could get behind that, he was terrified himself. He tried to smile at the teller to reassure him but it really didn't seem to help much. The man just shook harder. His loving siblings had their faces covered and hats pulled low over their faces, he of course, did not. This thing stunk of set up to high heaven. "Fox, open the safe." Mulder rolled his eyes at Alex. Great now they were using his name. He could feel that noose tightening around his neck already. Mulder hesitated before he touched the cast iron safe. Old habits died hard, he supposed there was really no need to worry about leaving prints here. He hoped. He reached into the opened safe and stuffed all the money into a feed sack that he carried. Now he was a bonafide criminal. The three robbers left the bank without too much trouble. Mulder nearly mowed down a little old lady making her way inside. He had to do some fancy maneuvering to keep her on her feet and himself too. It didn't help that the whole time she was beating him with her umbrella. He was sure he would be left to face the music alone is he was caught while stumbling around on the sidewalk. They rode a short way out of town and met up with Scully and Frohike, then they rode west into the mountains. Walter and Alex hid the money in a crevice under a rock overhang that looked just like an alien hand. At least it did to Mulder. As they made their way back down the mountain toward home, Mulder was preoccupied with what would happen next. He had no doubt that he was recognized in that bank. "The sheriff is probably waiting for us at the ranch by now." Mulder wanted to know what the 'Skinners' had planned for him next. "What are you talking about, Fox?" Alex sneered at him, "We just ran into you a little while ago. Wasn't very nice of you to run off when we had so much work to do today. Pa is not going to be happy." Mulder started to turn around to gape at Alex over his shoulder but his bumbling horse picked that moment to find a crevice in a rock. He felt himself flying through the air, his body finally impacting with solid rock. "Mulder?" "Mulder, wake up. Can you hear me?" Mulder opened his eyes to see Scully leaning over him, looking concerned. "Dana?" "What's wrong with you? I was beginning to worry that you had slipped into a coma in your sleep. When you go out, you really go out." Scully was pulling on his arm. He looked around. The ranch? "Where . . . where am I?" "Where are you? We're still on vacation in Colorado and we have to go into town in about an hour. You need to get up and get a shower." Mulder sat up on the bed and stared at her. "This is my room." Scully was beginning to look more concerned now, "Well actually, all three of us are staying in this room but yeah, I suppose it is yours. Mulder are you all right?" Mulder shook his head trying to clear his thoughts. He was back! They were back! The nightmare fantasy was over. He wasn't going to be hung for bank robbery or be beaten to death by an irate stepfather. He smiled for the first time in days. "Scully, I'm so glad you're here." "Uh-h-h, well yeah, I'm glad you're here, too. But like I said we have to go into town. Since the bank robbery was a federal offense and we are already here, Walter offered our services to the local police department. It seems that several of the officers are old friends of Walters', so try to behave yourself today." "Bank robbery?" Scully came over and lay her hand on his head. That was not a good sign. When he said things that his partner either did not understand or did not agree with, the first thing she always did was check him for fever. "Remember yesterday? Walter and I went into the bank to cash some more travel checks and there was a robbery. We were the only customers there, so we are needed as witnesses." Scully turned away and started pulling his clean cloths out of the dresser. "Well except for that poor older lady. The tall skinny guy tried to run over her as he left. Wish we could have had that on tape, it would have sold to that TV program, what is it, 'World's Dumbest Criminals' or something like that." "That's not a very nice thing to say, Scully. Maybe he was trying to keep her from falling." "Since when do you defend common criminals? The guy was a bumbling idiot." She looked over at her partner. "Now why do you have your lip stuck out like that, that robber being clumsy is hardly your concern, Mulder." "I just think you're being too hard on him." Scully eyed him again, "Oka-a-a-y. Why don't you get cleaned up, I'm going to go down and have a cup of coffee with Walter and his police buddies. You need to hurry up." When Scully left, Mulder buried his head in his hands. This just could not be happening, could it? Had to be a coincidence. But what if it wasn't. Now he had visions of spending the rest of his life behind bars with a new beau named Bubba. After he dressed, he went down stairs to see exactly what evidence, if any, the Clear Creek Police Department had . . . on him. Clear Creek Police Department One Hour Later "For some reason the surveillance camera didn't work. The whole segment when the robbery took place is wiped clean. Damnest thing I ever saw." Mulder watched Walter as he nodded to the police chief, Duane Edwards. Seems Walter and Duane used to play little league together. Duane thought Mulder was a smart-mouthed kid. Same old, same old. Mulder cleared his throat and reached for his coffee, "Did you get any . . . uh-h-h, prints?" "Not much, we did lift one set from that old antique safe they have as decoration in the bank lobby." Mulder choked on his coffee. Skinner immediately started pounding him on the back as he fought for breath. "That's . . . that's enough, Sir. I'm fine now." Mulder gasped. When it looked like the young agent would live, Chief Edwards continued, "Agent Scully had mentioned that she saw that tall skinny loser messing with it for some unknown reason, so we dusted it. Got lucky." Mulder choked again. Skinner pounded again. Edwards waited until this new crisis was over. "Oh and one other thing, the bank manager heard one of the robbers call the tall kid by an animal's name. Something like Bear or Wolf or something. He can't really remember. If it comes to him, he'll give us a call." Mulder choked a third time. Skinner resumed his pounding. Scully got up, calmly walked across the room, took the coffee cup out of her partner's hand, then returned to her seat. She immediately brought up another screen of mug shots on the computer and took a drink of Mulder's coffee. "Scully, that's mine." Mulder choked out between coughs. "It was yours. You were spitting it all over our boss, now it's mine." She took another sip. It was like taking a dangerous toy away from a five-year-old. She sighed, all those years of expensive education for this, Dana Scully, FBI Mulder-sitter. Jeep! Police Chief Edwards tried once more, "So far those prints are the only evidence we have found. In fact, we can't even find any money missing. All the witnesses, you included, swear that the tall ugly kid . . . " "Skinny." "Excuse me, Agent Mulder?" "He was tall and skinny. Not tall and ugly. His description was tall and skinny. You said ugly." The chief eyed the peculiar young agent, "Oka-a-ay, sorry. The tall kid supposedly carried out a bag of money but all funds in the bank are accounted for. This is the Damnest case I've ever seen." "I have to go over to the bank, see that antique safe." Mulder started for the door. "Mulder!" Mulder turned slowly to face him."Yes, Sir." "You've been banned from the crime scene. You do remember what happened yesterday, don't you." Mulder just blinked at his supervisor, "Yesterday, Sir?" Skinner walked over and took his agent's arm guiding him over to a quiet corner of the station. "You had taken off your gloves and then you reached for that damned safe. Officer Peterson filed a formal complaint that you were trying to invalidate her findings. That your intention was to tamper with evidence." Mulder's face paled as he swallowed hard. "It's okay, Mulder. I know better. You just got excited when she found those prints. But I'm telling you, Agent Mulder, we are here to assist. It is not your responsibility to solve this case on your own. This is not an X-File." Mulder swallowed again, "I wouldn't be so sure of that, Sir." "Oh please, Mulder. Tell me you are not going to claim it was an alien?" "No Sir, I'm pretty sure it was an American Citizen." "Wh . . . what?" But Mulder had already wondered off. Walter looked after him. No matter what he expected Mulder to say, it was always something different. How did he do that? Mulder and Scully had gone to lunch when the results of the prints came back. Assistant Director Skinner was furious enough to bite nails. He could not remember a time when he had been this angry. The one thing he was sure of was that if he did remember that time, it no doubt would have also been caused by Mulder. He saw Mulder and Scully enter the station. It took him exactly three strides to reach his exasperating agent. "Agent Mulder, could I speak with you a moment please?" "Of course, Sir." Mulder was immediately on guard. That vein in Skinner's neck was bulging again. Throbbing in and out with each beat of his heart, the man was enraged. An emotion Mulder clearly recognized from past experience. Oh Shit! Mulder gulped as he was led into a tiny office. Oh Shit, the last time his boss had taken him into an office like this, he had used his belt on him and then made him face the station full of smirking cops. "Uh-h-h, is something wrong, Sir?" "You know damned well what is wrong, Agent Mulder. The prints on that safe came back." Oh Double Shit! Mulder just looked at him, he really didn't know what to say. Would Skinner arrest him? Would Scully believe he was a bank robber? Would Bubba be sensitive to his needs? "I told you not to investigate this case on your own!" Mulder was shocked. "Wh . . . what? I didn't." Skinner grabbed his tie and pulled the agent in close. "You have repeatedly disobeyed me, you have been blatantly disrespectful to my authority, hell, on occasion you have even out maneuvered me . . . but you have never lied to me. Don't start now. How else would your prints . . . YOUR PRINTS, MULDER . . . have gotten on that safe?" "I...I...I..." "How Mulder? If you didn't go back there and investigate on your own, how did your prints end up on the safe. I want an answer and I want it now." "Out of body experience, Sir?" "Mulder!" "Poltergeist?" "I'm warning you . . . " "Transcendental Metaphysical Transference of Fingerprints." "What? What the hell is that?" "You don't know?" "No Mulder, I've never heard of it." "Good! I mean, that's good because it's very dangerous and that is exactly what we are seeing here. We need to get back to DC as soon as possible. First plane out. No delays." He tugged on his boss' sleeve. "Let's go." Skinner shook himself loose, "If this thing is so dangerous, why would be leave? We're supposed to protect the public from danger, Mulder, not run away from it." "Well . . . it's uh-h-h . . . it's . . . targeted us. Yeah that's it. It got me, next it will go after Scully. You don't want Scully to get hurt, do you Walter?" "Mulder . . . " "First it will leave her fingerprints on something and then she'll get really sick. She'll start feeling dizzy and become delirious. We won't be able to understand anything she's saying to us, then she will . . . " "Why aren't you delirious? Oh wait, I know . . . we wouldn't be able to tell the difference with you, would we?" "Walter, please, we need to go back to . . . " "Mulder, stop! Please. I can't even remember, at this point, what I initially brought you in here to discuss. Now, we are staying here to investigate this case. You will conduct yourself as part of the team and you will not . . . listen to me carefully . . . not go off on your own. Once again, this is not an X-File. Now let's get back out there and get to work." As Mulder turned to leave, Skinner reached out and gave him a hard smack on the butt. Mulder yelped in surprise and turned furiously on his boss, "Hey!" Skinner chuckled, "Just wanted to remind you how lucky you are that you'll still be able to sit down when you leave this office, unlike last time, huh Mulder? Bet you were worried when I brought you in here." "Very funny, Walter." Mulder growled but the effect was ruined by the blush on his face. Ranch House 36 Hours Later "No, Scully!" "Oh yes, Mulder. You ditched me again and I am sick of it. You were gone for a whole day and no one, no one Mulder, knew where you were. All we had was some cryptic message about how you knew who robbed the bank and you had gone to find the money." Scully glared at him. "But Scully, I . . . " "Walter and I were both worried sick. And then you come back with a bump on your head, a sprained ankle, and a bag of money. Money that wasn't missing from the bank in the first place, Mulder. Skinner is still down there trying to straighten that one out." "The money was . . . " "And the robbers got away. You can't describe them, don't know if they were man, woman, black, white or purple. You're a trained federal agent, Mulder, how could you not notice what the robbers looked like? And how did they get away from you? And how did you end up with their money?" "Scully, I . . . " "But do you know what the worst part is, Mulder. You went alone. You left your partner behind again. You have been told repeatedly how dangerous it is to investigate without backup. But do you listen, no-o-o-o--o, you just sneak out of bed and take off. Out of my bed, Mulder. So you had your fun, now I get mine. Over my knee, now." "No, Scully!" - Ten Minutes Later - Walter Skinner walked in the front door and immediately heard the sounds coming from upstairs. He wasn't surprised. Dana had been furious when they had awakened to a 'ditch' note instead of a Mulder. Skinner winched, Fox would be feeling that spanking for a while. It sounded like one of Scully's better efforts. He took off his jacket and got something to drink before going upstairs. Time to save Mulder from his partner again. He opened the bedroom door to be greeted by the sight of Mulder's bare butt. Not that Walter would ever complain about that particular view. Unfortunately for Mulder, Dana was working over said butt with the back of her hairbrush. She looked up when Walter entered the room and momentarily rested her instrument of torture on her partner's red, sore backside. "So did you get that mess straightened out?" "Yeah, the bank is going to hold the funds in escrow for six months, then if they still don't know where the money came from, it will be donated to charity." He nodded his head toward her lap where Fox waited nervously for the rest of his spanking, "Mulder's favorite charity." Scully rolled her eyes, "Oh great, MUFON will be rolling in the dough." Mulder started to squirm again, "Scul-l-l-ly, let me up now." She popped him on the right cheek, "Shut up Mulder, I'll get back to you in a minute. I'm not nearly finished with you yet." "This is embarr . . ."She smacked his other cheek even harder. "Ouch!" Skinner walked over and sat down beside her. He ran his hand over Mulder's hot butt and the agent shivered. Walter wondered if it was from pain or passion. "He's pretty well done already, Dana." Scully tapped her brush impatiently on her intended target. Mulder softly groaned as his fists tightened their hold on the sheets. "Don't make me stop, Walter. I want him to remember this. If he keeps going into those situations without backup we are going to lose him." A tear slipped down Scully's cheek. Walter brought up his thumb and gently wiped it away. Skinner reached down and lifted Mulder's legs up and held them in his own lap, stroking the man's thigh. He was delighted when Mulder shivered once more. "Tell you what, give him a few more and then he does some corner time. We'll talk to him later and if we aren't satisfied with his repentance, you can have another go at him. Okay?" Mulder rolled his eyes, did they forget he could hear them or what? Scully got back to work and made her last six strokes count. They were deadly. Skinner had Mulder's legs trapped so all he could do was grip the sheets in his fists and squirm frantically. Scully was sparing no mercy. By the time she laid down the brush, he was throughly blistered. He spent the next hour with his nose stuck in the corner of the kitchen while Scully and Skinner prepared the evening meal and discussed the case. He tried to ask one question but got his sore butt smacked with some kind of kitchen utensil for his effort. He didn't try again. He consoled himself with the fact that he was not going to hang nor was he going to be making intimate acquaintance with Bubba in jail. And the money would go to charity. He also thought about what had been happening all week. This smelled of vampire. It would appear the King D'Argario had not honored his agreement. Mulder was reasonably sure he was still manipulating circumstances. After all, any other time, a pouty lip and a few sweet words would have gotten him out of trouble with Scully. He really wanted to reach back and rub his sore butt. He didn't dare. She probably still had whatever kitchen torture device she had used on him earlier still close at hand. Mulder had been forced to sit on a hard kitchen chair and eat dinner, still naked. Jeep! Both Skinner and Scully seemed to enjoy the meal and his squirming attempts to get comfortable immensely. So by the time he had convinced his keepers of his sincere intentions to change his ways and been allowed to dress, it was nearly ten o'clock. He slipped away unnoticed and headed upstairs. He needed to make a call. He dialed a number back in DC. "Open Vein Bar. Wha d'a ya' want?" "This is Special Agent Fox Mulder. May I speak to Vince, Please." "Hey Vince, your pretty little boyfriend is on the phone." Mulder winced. Vince was on the phone in a heartbeat, "Sweet Boy? Is that really you? I knew it. I just knew you would call me. I knew you would realize that you felt the same way about me that I feel about you and that you would..." "Vince, will you just shut up a minute?" Mulder took a deep breath, he couldn't believe he was about to do this. "Vince, well...I...uh-h-h, you see... the thing is. . . I need your help." "My help? With a case? How wonderful! Of course I'll help you but first you have to tell me you want a kiss." "What?" "You heard me, tell me you want a kiss If you want my help, tell me you want me to come to you and kiss you senseless." "Come on, say it. I'm waiting, Sweet Boy." Mulder gritted his teeth until they hurt, "Okay. I want a ki...kiss." "And you shall have it, Sweet Boy. Now tell me you love me." "Don't push your luck, Vince." "Oh, all right. Can't blame a vampire for trying. So what can I help you with, Sweet Boy." The Ranch House One Hour Later Mulder had gone outside and was swimming laps in the pool. The water felt wonderful on his abused backside and his trouble spirit. "Whew Baby, you were right about this one. What a doll!" "Ah-h-h-h-h!" Mulder nearly jumped out of his skin and took in a good big mouthful of water. When he finally stopped sputtering and regained his vision, Vince and a short, round, pretty blond woman were standing at the edge of the pool. The woman was in a long tie-dyed dress, headband and lots of brightly colored beads. Lots and lots of beads. Mulder climbed out of the pool while both Vince and his companion eyed his speedo with considerable interest. He grabbed a towel as quickly as possible. "Are you an angel?" "Lord no, Honey." "Another vampire then?' She had a deep pleasant laugh, "No, not one of them either." Mulder looked at the vampire in confusion, held out both hands, "Vince?" "Louise is a Chiropractor, Sweet Boy." Mulder's eyebrows arched high, "A . . . Chir...Chiropractor? Why, Vince? Are vampires afraid of 'Bone Crunchers', too? I know I am." Louise immediately drug out a crystal on a chain and started twirling it above Mulder's head. "Honey, a pretty thing like doesn't have to be afraid of me. I work from love. Now repeat after me - ." Now Mulder really was scared. "Louise is into New Age Healing and Affirmations, Sweet Boy. You know, herbs and flowers, reflexology, numerology, rebirthing, regression, spirit guides, colonics, that sort of thing." "You're going to give the vampire king a colonic?" "No, we are going to work on Scully and Skinner, Sweet Boy." "Work on? Work on...how?" Mulder asked suspiciously. "If we break the spell with them, D'Argario has to stop. It's like a dance, Sweet Boy, if one person stops doing the tango his partner has to stop too . . . or look pretty silly. Well, at least that's what usually happens." "Usually?" "Don't worry, Sweet Boy, everything will work out just fine. You know I have a knack for this kind of thing." "Yeah right!' "Honey, repeat after me, ." Mulder rolled his eyes. He had asked Vince for help and he had brought him a Sixties Retro Chiropractor. Why did that even surprise him? Ranch House Next Morning "Mulder, how sweet of you to offer to cook breakfast for us." Scully smiled at her partner. She had been a little concerned about him lately but he seemed fine this morning. Her Mulder was back. Skinner took a big drink of his coffee and spit it across the table, "What the hell is this stuff, Mulder?" "It's Hawthorn, Sweet Marjoram, Marshmallow, Black Mustard, Nettle, Comfrey Drink. Much better for you than all that caffeine in coffee." "I'm not drinking that. I want my coffee." Mulder stuck out his bottom lip to maximum range and let a single tear escape from his left eye. Scully patted her boss' arm. "Please Walter, drink it. Mulder has gone to all this trouble for us. We don't want to hurt his feelings, now do we?" She nodded her head in Mulder's direction so Walter would not be deprived of the hurt puppy look on his face. Skinner sighed heavily, "Oh all right." He took another drink, grimaced then smiled weakly at Mulder. He hoped Fox would turn away so he could spit it out but no such luck. He somehow got it down. He noticed Dana was having the same problem with the nasty drink. Mulder continued to watch them until they had finished their cups. "Now I have a real surprise, muffins!" He set a big platter down in front of them and refilled their cups with the herbal drink of the day. Skinner eyed them cautiously, "What's in there, Mulder." "It's really good stuff, Walter. Oatmeal, raisins, milk..." Scully nudged Walter and set a muffin in front of him. "Eat it. Please." Oh Shit, now she was using those big blue eyes on him. The two of them ganging up like this was more than he could resist. What the hell, it was just one muffin. The muffin was worse than the herbal drink. "This does not taste like oatmeal, Mulder, what else did you put in here. Are they poisonous?" "Of course not, Walter. I would never want to harm you. I put in a little flavoring. Just a few things that will make you feel good all day. Don't you trust me?" "I trust you. Now what's in it." Mulder sighed in a very put upon way, "A little Cinnamon, some Nutmeg..." Scully was nodding her head at him, so far so good, "Coltsfoot, Catnip, Slippery Elm, Elderberries, Goldenseal, Horehound and an egg." Now they were both just staring at him. He stuck his lip out and allowed both eyes to tear up this time. When that didn't seem to be working quickly enough, he let his bottom lip tremble slightly. Bingo! Walter snatched up the muffin, "Oh for heavens sake, let's just eat the damned things and be done with this. And Mulder, I'm warning you, you are going to wear that lip out one of these days and then you are going to be in real trouble." When they were all dressed and ready to leave for the police station, Mulder presented them with a gift. A piece of brightly colored material stuffed with an unknown substance and tied with a long ribbon. "Mulder, what the hell is this. Have you gone completely insane during this vacation? And Scully stop patting my arm. If he has gone nuts we have to know about it and figure out a way to hide it from the rest of the bureau." Mulder was trying to slip the gifts around their necks, "It's for luck. You wear it like this. I made them for both of you last night." He tried the lip thing again, "All by myself . . . Just for you." Lip still worked! "Oh hell, give me that thing. You aren't crazy, you are just tying to drive me crazy. It's damned well working, too. You better reconsider. Once I'm locked away, you won't find your next supervisor to be quiet so easy going." Mulder rolled his eyes. Easy going? Self delusion was a terrible thing to see. - On Route To The Police Station - "Mulder this thing is scratching me under my blouse, what it in there anyway?" "Oh not much Scully, just some herbs and berries. A couple of crystals, a chnnfoo and some flowers." "A chnn-what?" Mulder signed, "A chicken foot, Scully." "Ew-w-w-w-w, I'm wearing a chicken foot with my new Dior blouse?" Mulder prayed the puppy dog face would hold out for one more time, "Please Scully, I made it just for you. Because I love you, Scully." He heard Skinner snort but his boss didn't say anything. Neither did Scully but she didn't take the 'necklace' off either. "I brought some muffins with us, in case you guys get hungry." They both groaned and Scully actually buried her head in her hands. Guess they didn't want one right now. - Police Department - Mulder was passing his muffins out to everybody. He figured why not? He would break the vampire's spell in the whole damned town if he had too. He was getting a lot of first time takers but repeat business was terrible. "Agent Mulder, put those damned muffins away and work on this case for a while. And what the hell are you doing with that piece of rock?" "Blessing the building with love, Sir." Skinner started to get up with what could only be described as a growl, so Mulder swiftly seated himself and buried his head in a file. When he chanced a look up again, Skinner was busy talking with Chief Edwards. Mulder reached into his pocket and pulled out his secret weapon. He made a nonchalant trip to the mens room spraying 'love potion' as he went. He wanted to be sure to get one good spray onto Walter but the man kept moving. Oh well, Mulder wasn't sure how effective love potion would be on someone with the temperament of a grizzly bear, anyway. He was making his way over to give Scully a good hit of the spray when he saw her sniffing the air. Oops! He decided to ditch the potion and get back to work. Mulder looked up a short time later and found himself in a surreal world. All of the police officers where hugging and kissing each other. Some were even sobbing out their devotion for their brothers in arms. At least the ones who were not making mad dashes for the bathrooms. A very pale Walter Skinner stumbled up to his agent. "Mulder, your damned muffins have given everyone diarrhea. And I don't know what has brought on this sudden bout of sentimental male bonding. I'm not sure I want to know." "That is odd, Sir." "No it isn't. You made the muffins didn't you? You're here in the station aren't you? Nothing surprised me when you're involved, Mulder." Skinner looked around and spotted Scully just coming out of the ladies room. "Come on, Mulder. I am closing this case. We have no suspects, no evidence and no stolen money. We are going back to DC." They gathered their files and collected Scully. She looked pale and shaky. Mulder did feel a little bad about that. He would have to make it up to her somehow. The Open Vein Bar Two Days Later "You didn't get in trouble with Skinner over those muffins, did you, Sweet Boy?" "Well, I'm banned from the kitchen. They won't even let me make microwave popcorn by myself anymore." "I've tasted your cooking, Sweet Boy, this is no great loss." "Yeah, I suppose you're right. Thanks for breaking that spell, Vince. I hate to admit it but I owe you one." "Oh yes you do, Sweet Boy. You owe me one breath taking kiss, which I plan to collect in about five minutes. And . . . one full blown, new to the game, Vince The Vampire Wild Erotic Sexual Fantasy." "No! I never said I would..." "How do you feel about Merry Old England, Sweet Boy? The naughty serving boy of the Baron and Baroness Skinner?" "Vince please..." "Or maybe the spoiled son of a rich Georgia Planter, sent to live with his cruel Uncle Walter and Aunt Dana?" "I'm begging you, Vince, don't..." "Or how about something with a ship again. That was so much fun!. Fox? Sweet Boy, don't bang your head on the table like that, you'll hurt yourself. Are you crying? Don't do that. You're scaring the other vampires. Sweet Boy, you have to calm down and ..." The End - Part 6 Continued 7