Vampire Series Part I 
by DiAnn



Rating: NC17 - language, adult themes

Category: Implied Slash / MSR / Pure Trash / Discipline

Warning: Mulder/Skinner/Scully

If you don't like this kind of thing, or you are underage, go 
somewhere else . . . NOW! I don't want to hear from you and I don't 
want to hear from your Mama.

Spoiler: None.

Special Note: You really should read the previous stories in Painful 
Experience Series for this one to make sense. Especially #3 Repeat 
Performance, and #4 Never Trust a Vampire. Also mentioned: #7 
Uninvited Guests, #8 A Little Help From My Friends, #9 Mama's Boy and 
#10 Doctor's Orders. As I said, maybe you should just read all of them 
before you try this one.

Disclaimer: I do not, nor ever will, own Mulder, Scully, Skinner, 
Krycek or the X-Files. I am borrowing them without permission and am 
obviously not receiving money for this stuff. We all know who they 
really belong to; CC, Fox and lots of other people but again, not me.





Vampire Series Part I 
Con-Vince Me 
by DiAnn 



Mulder's Apartment Tuesday - 1:45 a.m. 

"Mulder." Softly, so very softly. So softly it elicited no response 
from the sleeping man on the leather couch.

"Mulder."

Mulder felt the faint stir of stale air against his face. The first 
breath of a sweet, almost cloying odor. He fought his way to 
consciousness, feeling somehow sure, though he could not have said 
how, that he was no longer alone in his apartment.

He leaned up slowly and looked around, the hair on the back of his 
neck rising. No one. No one there.

Taking a deep breath, he relaxed slightly, chalking up this sudden 
bout of paranoia to the fact that he hadn't stayed in his own 
apartment in months. But tonight, Scully and Skinner were both out of 
town. In different directions, thank goodness. Mulder didn't mind 
sharing *his* Scully with *his* Skinner but he wanted to be present 
when it happened. Actually, he preferred being right in the middle . . 
. literally.

That thought brought a warm feeling deep in his belly. He smiled and 
started to turn over on his couch.

"Come on, Gorgeous, time to wake up now."

His eyes snapped open. Had he really heard that? A sound like dried 
leaves scraping across cemetery grass. **Now, where had that thought 
come from?** Scully better get back soon; he was really losing it.

He turned, slowly faced the room and rose to one elbow. He began 
reaching carefully for his weapon lying on the nearby coffee table, 
within easy reach. He always kept his weapon within easy reach. Well, 
usually within easy reach, everyone dropped things occasionally. He 
looked around and saw . . . no one.

**What the Hell!** Mulder shook his head. Obviously, he had 
experienced one alien, morphing, petroleum by-product, pre-cloned, 
sister-snatching government cover-up too many and his mind had decided 
to go on vacation without him.

He took a deep breath and started to sit up. He would never be able to 
sleep now. He blinked his eyes and . . . suddenly there was someone 
right beside him. Sitting on his coffee table. Staring at him as if 
his presence should not surprise Mulder in the least.

"Holy shit!" Mulder started to get up, his weapon aimed at the 
intruder's chest. But the person . . . entity . . . 'one taco too 
many' apparition, simply reached out with one hand on Mulder's chest 
and pushed him back down. He then calmly took Mulder's gun. The agent 
felt certain he should stop him from doing this, he just wasn't sure 
how to do it. He shook his head, trying to clear his confused 
thoughts.

Then Mulder got a good look at his visitor. Young, blond, pale, good 
looking in a yuppie sort of way. But with slate blue eyes Much too old 
for his face. Ancient eyes. "You!"

"You remember me? How flattering, Sweet Boy." The intruder easily kept 
the struggling agent pinned to the couch, glanced at the gun he now 
held with distaste and gingerly put it aside.

"You're the damned vampire who took my gun! Where are your sidekicks? 
Why do you hang out with werewolves? Let me see your teeth. Can you go 
out during the day? Do you like garlic? Are you . . . "

"Enough!"

Mulder's ears were ringing. And he'd thought only Skinner could attain 
that kind of volume. Damned vampire steals his gun, gets him in 
trouble with Scully and now he breaks into his apartment and yells at 
him. Some nerve.

"Who are you? What do you want with . . . "

His uninvited guest grabbed him by the front of his shirt and shook 
him like an errant puppy.

"Will you be quiet!" The vampire sighed wearily, "I had remembered 
only how beautiful you were, but not how irritating. No wonder your 
friends are so . . . strict with you."

Mulder glared at him, "What do you mean by that?"

The vampire smiled. Keeping one hand pressed down on Mulder's chest, 
he gently placed the other on the agent's forehead.

Mulder jolted as he was assailed with vivid visions: Scully and 
himself in a motel room, she simultaneously punishing him with that 
god-awful hairbrush and making sweet soothing, passionate love to him.

Him bent over a chair as Skinner lashed him with his belt while 
Krycek, handcuffed to the bed, watched.

Scully and Skinner making blissful love while he writhed in unbridled 
passion between their hot, sweaty bodies.

Skinner, looking angry and frustrated.

Scully, angry and even more dangerous than Skinner.

And more dangerous even yet, Sheriff Roy Adams. Small town sheriff and 
big time disciplinarian.

And that quack doctor from Ohio, pounding away at Mulder's backside 
while he lay weak and helpless in a hospital bed.

Lastly, Maggie Scully, the most humiliating of all. Using a stinging 
switch that he had been compelled to cut for himself.

Pain and pleasure flowing together in a cryoscope of brightly colored 
torment and passion. Moving at breakneck speed behind Mulder's 
feverish eyes. Finally, he reached his limit.

"Please, no more," he screamed. And all became darkness.





Mulder's Apartment Tuesday - 8:00 a.m. 

Mulder awakened slowly. Sunlight filtered into his apartment, hurting 
his sensitive eyes. **God, what time was it? What a night. What a 
dream!**

Mulder rushed for the shower; he didn't want to be late. That dream . 
. . it had seemed so real. Last time he'd eat tacos that late at 
night. Vampires! And that particular vampire, at that. Last thing he 
wanted to dream about was a devious jerk like that. Hanging out with 
werewolves, throwing his weapon out the window and then disappearing 
just when Scully got there. Got him in a world of trouble with just 
about everyone he knew. Freaky, dead-assed blood-sucker!





A.D. Skinner's Office Tuesday - 11:00 a.m. 

"Agent Mulder!"

"Wh . . . what? I mean . . . yes, Sir?"

"Where is your head today? Have you heard even one word I've said? 
What do I have to do to you to get your attention this morning?"

"Uh-h-h-h . . . "

"I can see that Oxford education was well worth the expense, Agent 
Mulder. I'm sure your parents would be proud."

"Uh-h-h-h . . . "

The damned vampire was back! He was standing right over by the door in 
the Assistant Director's office, but no one seemed to notice. Mulder 
looked carefully at Scully and Skinner who were looking back at him 
with less than admiring expressions on their faces.

Mulder glanced at the vampire, "Damn you."

"Excuse me, Agent Mulder!" Skinner had risen from his chair and was 
leaning across his desk so far it looked like he was coming after 
Mulder. Oh God, he was! He had Mulder by his jacket front and gave him 
a couple of rough shakes before Mulder had time to move back.

"What did you say to me? Do you think I won't bust your butt right 
here because Dana is present? Because it's Tuesday? Because I'm in 
such a benevolent mood?" Another hard shake.

"Walter, please." The calm rational voice of Scully. Mulder felt 
overwhelming relief. Until . . . "Please, let's wait until tonight."

**That was his sweet, compassionate Scully.** Mulder spared a 
murderous glare for her.

The AD seemed to, with great effort, regain some semblance of control. 
He lowered himself back to his seat, breathing heavily, his face still 
an unhealthy shade of red.

The vampire snickered from his corner.

"Can't you see him?" Mulder heard himself whine again.

Scully regarded her partner wearily, "Him, Mulder?"

"The vampire! Right over there. The one from that warehouse, Scully. 
The one with the two werewolves? Son of a bitch took my gun. Remember? 
Can't you smell him? He smells just like funeral flowers."

Skinner and Scully exchanged another look. This one clearly said, ** 
It -Had-To-Happen-Sometime-Damned-Shame-Though-He-Was-So-Good-In-Bed. 
**

Mulder rolled his eyes to the ceiling, "Fine, you don't believe me, 
I'll prove it. I'll. . . " He was interrupted by Skinner's ringing 
phone.

"Yes, Kim. Send them in." He glanced at Mulder and Scully. "This will 
just take a moment. We have two CIA Agents who are assisting VCS on a 
case. They need to check in with me."

The door opened, and Mulder felt like he had been sucker punched. It 
was them! It was... it was...

"Werewolves!"

Mulder shouted, as he instantly executed a perfect example of the 
classic FBI shooting stance. Knees slightly bent, both hands holding 
his weapon at exact shoulder level, aimed point blank at the 
intruders' chests. He glanced around the room. It was obvious that he 
had just stumbled onto a real 'show stopper' for a boring budget 
meeting.

Absolute silence reined. Four pairs of astonished eyes were focused on 
him, and all were expressing the same thought. . . he had obviously 
gone completely crazy. No, not just crazy . . . crazy *and* violent. 
Not a recommended combination for a gun-toting federal agent.

In a flash, Mulder found himself pinned to the top of Skinner's desk 
with the highly annoyed Assistant Director glaring down at him. He 
strained to look up at the werewolves through his lashes. They were 
smirking at him, and the damned vampire had vanished completely. Shit!

"Mulder, are you finished?" Skinner's growl tore his attention away 
from the gloating werewolves.

"But, Sir, they're..."

"Are? You? Finished?" How did Skinner talk without opening his mouth 
like that?

"Yes, Sir."

Skinner let him up, feeling somewhat reluctant to do so. But finally 
he moved his large, imposing body away from the rebellious agent. 
"Agent Mulder, we will discuss this later. *That* is a guarantee." A 
statement of fact, accompanied by his best glare. ** This boy is 
shortening my life by decades!**

"Agent Scully, take your partner back to his office and don't let him 
out of your site. I am holding you personally responsible."

"Oh Great!" Scully rolled her eyes, grabbed Mulder's arm and drug him 
from the room, mumbling under her breath, "Why me? Every time! It's 
always me! It isn't fair. Why can't somebody else watch him for a 
change? Why is it always my responsibility to. . ."

Skinner dropped heavily into his chair and covered his face with his 
hands. How could be possibly explain any of this to the two CIA Agents 
(werewolves?) who were now standing patiently in front of his desk? 
**Oh Lord, why me?**





Mulder's Apartment Tuesday - 7:30 p.m. 

Mulder was nervously pacing around his apartment. So far he had 
managed to elude both Scully and Skinner. But, of course, that would 
not last forever. His phone, both phones, had been ringing almost 
constantly for well over two hours. He expected the unavoidable knock 
on his door any minute now.

It had taken some very creative deceptiveness but he had managed to 
ditch Scully early in the afternoon. He needed to think. Werewolves in 
Skinner's office, vampires in his apartment, and no one willing to 
listen to a word he said. Unfortunately, this was par for the course 
in his life.

"Hello, Gorgeous."

"You . . . you . . . " Mulder made a lunge for the vampire and grabbed 
thin air. The vampire helped him back to his feet and made a great 
show of brushing him off.

"Are those damned werewolves with you? You worthless, blood-sucking. . 
. "

"Calm down, Sweet Boy. Tell you what, how about you sit down quietly 
and I will answer all your questions. Well, make that some of your 
questions. I doubt your life span is long enough for me to address all 
of them. Quite intriguing, that curiosity of yours. Very amusing."

Mulder glared at him as the vampire continued to neaten the agent's 
clothes. "Stop touching me," he swatted the man's icy hands away. 
"What do you want with me anyway?"

"Why sex, of course."

"SEX!!!"

"Why yes, you are very sexy you know."

"Then why . . . why not just . . . why Scully . . . and Skinner . . . 
why not. . . ?

"Why not just have you?"

Mulder swallowed hard, "Well, yeah, why all these head games with 
Scully and Skinner?"

"For someone so brilliant, you can be very dense. *I'm . . . dead*, 
Sweet Boy." He paused to study the now stunned and thankfully silent 
Mulder, "I'll bet you believed all that nonsense about garlic, wooden 
stakes and mirrors, didn't you?"

He received a nod of Mulder's dark head.

"Well, you can forget most of that. The facts are that I do prefer to 
stay out of the sun, UV rays and all that, very bad for the skin. I 
don't even own a casket. I do, however, occasionally enjoy a fine AB 
negative, straight up. And . . . I can't have sex."

All this was almost more than Mulder could absorb and still engage in 
intelligent conversation, "So- then- how . . . "

"Vicariously, My Dear Sweet Fox, vicariously. And my taste runs to 
tall, dark, good-looking young men with a tendency toward mischief, 
who are . . . shall we say, dealt with on a regular basis. And I must 
say, I do fancy your taste in friends. Dana is a truly beautiful and 
utterly demanding woman. And that Walter Skinner, so strong, so 
masterful, so handsome . . . he just makes my mouth water."

"So you want them to beat me and then have sex with me, so you can 
watch? How disgusting."

"They do not beat you, Sweet Boy. They merely discipline you on 
occasion, and very mildly at that. They do love you, that is quite 
obvious. That is what makes this whole thing so very enjoyable for me. 
That and the way you all so thoroughly enjoy your romps in the 
bedroom. So uninhibited, so . . . "

A loud pounding sounded at the door.

Mulder winced. Had to be Scully and Skinner. Did they have to knock so 
loudly? The neighbors were going to start complaining about *that 
strange guy* in Apartment 42 again. He wondered who they picked on 
when he wasn't around.

The cowardly vampire vanished.

"Hey, you didn't even tell me your name!"

A disembodied voice, "You may call me Vince."

***Vince! His name was Vince! What kind of self-respecting vampire was 
named Vince?**

Mulder shook his head, his mind in turmoil, as he opened the door to 
an enraged Walter Skinner and Dana Scully.

"Uh-h-h-h . . . "

"Well, I see your vocabulary hasn't improved since this afternoon." 
Skinner was his usual glowering self as he shoved past him.

Scully patted his cheek in a most condescending manner, "Don't worry, 
Mulder, we think we understand why you made up this vampire thing, and 
we are going to help you atone for your little faux pas this 
afternoon."

"Help me? How?" Mulder was understandably leery. These two had a way 
of making 'helping him' a very unpleasant affair.

Skinner leered at him, "We're going to spend this evening talking 
about directing foul language at your supervisor, causing undue worry 
by leaving the office without telling us where you were going, not 
answering your phones and fabricating stories about vampires to get 
off the hook in budget meetings."

Mulder watched in horror as Skinner rolled up his right sleeve and 
reached for his belt buckle.

Mulder felt Vince lay a cold hand on his shoulder. Fox' skin prickled 
uncomfortably. "Tell him to go to hell, Sweet Boy, he can't treat you 
like this."

"*You* go to hell!"

Skinner was on him in a heartbeat. Mulder found himself pinned against 
the wall, his feet barely touching the floor. "What did you say to 
me?"

"Not . . . not you. Vince."

"Vince?" Skinner shook him, causing his head to bump painfully against 
the hard wall behind him, "Who is Vince?"

The vampire's voice crawled up Mulder's neck and crept into his ear, 
"Does he always treat you like such a child, Sweet Boy?"

"That's none of your damned business!"

"Wh . . . wh . . . wh . . . " Mulder couldn't ever remember hearing 
Walter sputter like that before. He didn't get a chance to comment on 
it before he was being drug across the floor to find himself face down 
across Skinner's knees. His dress slacks and boxers made a quick trip 
to his ankles.

"Oh-h-h-, Sweet Boy, you look so beautiful like that... you have no 
idea how much I am enjoying this."

"Damn you! Damn you... you impotent pervert!"

"Wh . . . wh . . . wh . . . " The first slap to his backside was so 
hard, tears immediately sprang to his eyes. Again the big hand landed 
in white hot fury. Then again. And again. And again.

"How dare you speak to me like that . . ." Slap! "Do you want some 
more of that soap in your mouth . . ." Slap! "or maybe you just like 
this . . . " Slap! "position. . ." Slap! . . . "Nothing I say or do 
makes a difference with you. . . " Slap!. . . "Well, this time, I'll 
get my message . . ." Slap! "across loud . . ." Slap!. . . "and 
clear." Slap! "I'll wear you out before tonight is over . . ." Slap!

"Tell him, Sweet Fox, tell him to go to hell."

"Shut up!"

"Wh . . . wh . . . wh . . . " Skinner was getting this sputtering 
thing down pat.

**Oh, shit!**

There wasn't enough time between smacks for Mulder to catch his 
breath, let alone argue his case. Thank goodness the man had not taken 
the time to remove his belt to use on him. His hand was bad enough.

Eventually, Mulder couldn't stop his sobs or his cries for mercy. This 
was one of the worst punishments he'd ever received, and it was all 
because of that damned insidious vampire. Mulder was sure the only way 
this beating was going to end was if the still-sputtering Skinner 
suffered a fatal stroke. . . or perhaps a small aneurysm. That might 
slow him down. Maybe.

Mulder stood facing a corner of his own apartment, sucking on a very 
delectable piece of Irish Spring. **Not too sweet, not too tart.**

He was miserable. His butt throbbed and ached, scorched hotter than 
the fires of hell. Skinner had gone crazy after that last 'shut up' 
and had blistered him but good. And had then promised him the strap 
*after* he ate a quote/unquote good dinner. How could he possibly eat 
anything after having this damned soap in his mouth? He doubted 
Skinner would give him a chance to refuse. The guy was definitely 
pissed.

Mulder felt cold fingers lovingly brush his lips and shivered. "You 
had a bit of soap on your lower lip, Sweet Boy."

"Top cawlin e dat, U sn'a itch."

"Tsk, tsk, Sweet Boy. That dirty mouth is why you are in this 
embarrassing position right now."

"M-m ere cause'a U."

"Well, that too. Tell you what, I'll keep them occupied for a few 
minutes while you dress. Then I will show you some real vampire 
secrets. What do you say?"

Mulder's eyes lit up, "Secrets?"

Mulder spit out his soapy appetizer and dressed quickly. As he hurried 
out the door, he grudgingly acknowledged he was impressed that Vince 
could arrange for Scully and Skinner to completely avoid looking his 
way. This Vampire Magic was just too cool.





The Open Vein Bar & Grill Tuesday - 10:00 p.m. 

Mulder was disappointed. Vince had brought him to a biker bar. Just a 
normal, ordinary dive. At least he was relatively sure it was 
ordinary. It smelled like stale beer and surprisingly, dead flowers. 
The music was much too loud and not very good. The beer was warm. The 
food coming from the back looked absolutely disgusting. **When they 
said rare steaks, they meant rare steaks.** And the people were 
disturbingly strange and much too attentive for his liking.

The attractive federal agent had found himself the center of attention 
from the moment he came in. He quickly gathered a large following of 
both male and female admirers, and could *not* get rid of them. No one 
seemed to feel any need to observe his personal space, or for that 
matter, to even keep their hands off of him. It had quickly become 
vastly annoying. And through it all, good ol' Vince had hovered over 
him like a mother hen with her favorite chick. Maybe that was a good 
thing; it had put somewhat of a damper on his new-found popularity.

The woman with the unusual purple eyes was back and had just rubbed up 
against him . . . again. He looked up through his lashes at her as she 
seemed to bury her nose in his hair. Vince actually snarled at her.

Mulder snorted, "Jeez, Vince."

"You *vill* be quiet, My Little Mortal."

Mulder rolled his eyes at the vampire for about the hundredth time 
tonight. **This was just too funny.**

The woman tore herself away from Mulder's soft brown hair. "Oh 
Vincent, lighten up. I'm *not* trying to lure him away from you. He 
just smells so . . . so alive."

"He *iz* and he *iz* also mine. You *vill* leave him alone or you 
*vill* deal with me."

The woman sniffed indignantly and sauntered away.

Mulder scrutinized his host, "You *vill*? Since when do you have an 
accent? And why Vincent?"

"It's part of my persona, Sweet Boy. Everyone needs the correct image 
while cruising a bar."

"Cruising a bar? Is that what we're doing?"

"No, it is what *I* am doing. You are merely my beautiful pet mortal." 
Vince swelled with pride, "Tonight, I am the envy of every fiend 
here."

Mulder rolled his eyes once more, his voice dripping with sarcasm, 
"Oh, pl-l-l-e-e-ease."

"Well, I would be if you would just sit there and not open your 
mouth."

"I've heard that before."

"No doubt you have, numerous times." Vince's mouth moved from an 
exasperated scowl to a joyous smile, "Ah, here they are finally."

Mulder looked over his shoulder to the door, and there stood **Oh, 
God** Scully and Skinner. "How . . . how did they find this place?"

"I told them, of course. They don't know it was me; they think they 
have extraordinary investigative skills. Mortals, so naive!"

Mulder stared at the devious vampire in disgust. ** Damned traitor! 
Unreliable, untrustworthy, blood slurping...**

He felt a hand that could only be Skinner's land none too gently on 
his shoulder, "When I told you to go to the corner, I meant the one in 
the apartment."

Mulder looked around and of course, Vince was no longer in sight. And, 
to make matters worse, two attractive young males, dressed from head 
to toe in shiny black leather, were cruising him with obvious 
interest. **Oh, shit.**

"Is the Pretty Boy with you, Grandpa? What a waste."

Mulder was shaking his head frantically at these naive young vampires. 
**Oh, God, don't go there boys. If you really want to live forever, 
don't mess with Skinner.**

Skinner growled at the two interlopers, grabbed Mulder by the collar 
of his leather jacket and hauled him out of his chair.

Scully advanced on the two guys, hand resting on the butt of her gun , 
"Get lost, boys." The two vampires looked down at the petite redhead 
with alarm. Who were these people? The dark-haired guy was 
good-looking, but not worth this much trouble. They might drink blood, 
but that didn't mean they were into unnecessary violence. These two 
mortals were crazy.

Skinner shook Mulder by his collar, "You're leaving now. Better tell 
all your aspiring suitors good-bye."

Mulder looked around at the assembled crowd. Their faces held the same 
horrified fascination usually reserved for train wrecks. **How 
appropriate.**

"Tell Vincent I said *thanks a lot*." He thought he could hear Vince 
laughing from somewhere nearby as Skinner man-handled him out the 
door.

"Bat Brained Jerk!"

"Wh . . . Wh . . . Wh . . ."





Mulder's Apartment Tuesday, 11:45 p.m. 

"Take off your clothes."

"Look, we need to talk about this. That vampire is ingeniously 
devious, and he is tricking you."

Skinner's face was stormy, "Tricking me? I'm not the one who snuck out 
of this apartment. I'm not the one who was found flirting his ass off 
in some seedy leather bar. I'm not the one who is about to have an 
intimate encounter with a leather belt."

"My turn first."

**Scully. Oh God no, not Scully.**

"Oh come on, Da-a-n-n-a." Mulder winced. Jeez, he hated it when he 
whined like that. Evidently, if the look on her face was any 
indication, Scully wasn't fond of his whine either.

"Please Scully, you need to listen to me. There *is* a vampire, his 
name *is* Vince and he is *not* to be trusted."

Scully glared at him, "And neither are you, obviously. I saw that 
sleazy leather woman ogling you. She looked like you were going to be 
her next meal."

"Exactly, Scully. Vampire!"

"Ah-h-h--h--h-h!" He hadn't known the dignified Agent Scully could 
scream that loudly. As she came after him, he quickly back-pedaled. It 
was not wise to tangle with Dana Scully when she was in a snit.

"Scully... Scully, stop... Don't do this." He was tripping over his 
own feet.

Skinner effectively halted his retreat. He found himself pinned back 
against Walter's broad chest and was now being offered up like a 
hapless pagan sacrifice to his furious partner.

"Just turn him around, Walter. Tonight I get a well deserved turn at 
that cute little butt of his."

Mulder groaned as Walter easily spun him around and held him tightly, 
arms locked at his sides. Without further comment or hesitation, 
Scully pulled down his jeans and went to work with that blasted 
hairbrush. **God, that thing hurts.**

She was relentless, releasing all of her anger and frustration with 
her recalcitrant partner. The brush struck again and again. It rapidly 
brought back all the burn from his previous run-in with Skinner and 
added it's own agonizing measure of red-hot misery.

Finally, Mulder just gave in and buried his face in Skinner's neck, 
quietly sobbing out his pain and humiliation. **Why did this always 
happen to him?** He could probably count on one hand the number of FBI 
agents who were actually spanked by their partners.

Hell, he could probably do that count on one finger of one hand.

Mulder felt his knees begin to weaken. Wonderful, now he was going to 
fall in a whimpering heap at her feet. Just great! He felt Skinner's 
arms tighten around him. **Thank you, Walter.**

Then he heard Scully crying behind him. He raised his head, looked 
over his shoulder and felt his own heart break at the sight of her 
tears. "Oh, Scully. I'm sorry. Please don't cry. Really, it won't 
happen again, I promise. No more vampires. Ever."

Skinner released him and as he turned, Scully fell into his arms, 
sobbing. Now Walter found himself holding both of them in a somewhat 
upright position.

"Sh-h-h-h-, Scully. It's all right. Everything is going to be okay. 
Really. Please don't cry." He was kissing her face, her hair, her neck 
anyplace he could reach. All the while whispering assurance that he 
would change. That he would become the man she wanted him to be.

"Oh, you beautiful misguided man, you are the man I want. I just don't 
want you to go off on these tangents. You can't talk to vampires or 
consort with werewolves or . . . or pick up ugly leather girls in 
strange biker bars. You . . . you'll lose your credibility."

Mulder chuckled at that, "Oh Scully, I don't have any credibility." He 
gently stroked her hair, "And I would never pick up an ugly girl when 
I already have you . . . " That earned him a glare from Scully and an 
amused snort from Skinner.

"No!... No, I meant when I have someone as beautiful as you at home. 
That's what I meant, Scully." He stared pointedly at Skinner. "And I 
don't want a couple of vinyl clad muscle boys either." Walter had the 
good grace to look a little sheepish.

Mulder kissed her with all the passion he felt. It left them both 
breathless. When he finally released Scully's lips, he grabbed 
Skinner's hand and headed all three of them toward the bedroom. This 
night was suddenly looking up.





Mulder's Apartment Wednesday, 3:00 a.m. 

"Mulder." Dry leaves across cemetery grass.

"Mulder, Sweet Boy."

Mulder stirred within the warm cocoon formed by Skinner, who was 
wrapped securely around his back, and Scully, who was snuggled safely 
in his arms.

"Time to wake up, Gorgeous."

"Go away."

"Come on, talk to me, Sweet Boy. Let's go in the other room. I 
wouldn't want you to wake your friends by talking to yourself again. 
Very bad for your health, it seems."

"Can't you just leave me alone? I can barely sit down now. Surly this 
day has been enough for you."

"Well, it has been fun. But there *is* still Maggie Scully, and I'm 
sure Sheriff Adams would like to hear from you again." He smiled at 
Mulder, "That Big Stupid Walter-Stealing SOB."

Mulder paled. Vince had just done a remarkable imitation of his own 
monotone voice. **Oh, shit.** If Vince called the good sheriff and 
said those words to him in that voice, the man would drive all night 
just to get his hands on Mulder's 'Yankee Butt'.

Spurred to action by that horrid thought, Mulder quickly slipped out 
of the bed. He wasn't sure how he had disentangled himself from Dana 
and Walter without waking them. Probably had a little vampire magic' 
help again.

He pulled on his jeans and followed the infuriating creature into the 
front room. "Now, what do you want from me?"

"I *vant* to suck your *blud*."

Mulder rolled his eyes, "Very funny. Will you give me a damned break? 
What do you really want?"

"Temper, temper, Sweet Boy. I know where they keep that delicious 
soap."

"What? Do? You? Want?" Mulder could not stop his teeth from grinding 
together, so he just let the words escape from between them.

"I want a kiss."

"What! I thought you couldn't . . . you know . . . do that . . . "

"Oh, I can't *do that* . . . but I can kiss. And I want one. Freely 
given and enthusiastically reciprocated. A kiss like you gave Dana 
Scully earlier. Exactly like the way Skinner kissed you in that 
bedroom tonight. I want that; I want a kiss."

"You have got to be kidding."

"No, I assure you, I am not kidding. I have to leave town for a while. 
I want a real good-bye kiss. I want to taste that sweet mouth of yours 
and I want to do it now. Or . . . I wake up your friends with a few 
vampire tricks. I think Skinner still has that strap out and ready."

"Okay! Okay! One kiss and then you leave me alone. Right?"

Too fast for mortal sight, Vince moved and had Mulder enfolded in his 
unnaturally strong arms. He held the beautiful agent tightly against 
his cold hard chest and lowered his lips to devour Mulder's inviting 
mouth. He ran his tongue slowly across the mortal's sensuous lower lip 
then slowly pulled it into his mouth, sucking ardently. Mulder moaned 
from somewhere deep in his chest. He felt lightheaded with a loud 
buzzing in his ears. Vince's tongue moved from his lips and took up 
residence in his throat. The vampire thoroughly explored the 
smoldering mouth now at his mercy. Searching out every sharp ridge, 
every silky valley, every hot, moist plain. Mulder could not get 
enough air; he felt hot and dizzy. He could not remember ever being 
kissed like this. Then, without warning, Vince pulled away.

"Do you like that? Do you want more, My Beautiful Boy?"

Mulder felt dazed. Horrified that the vampire would start kissing him 
again; panic-stricken that he would quit.

"I. . .I. . . yes . . . more"

Vince chuckled and applied himself once again to the lovely mouth he 
was ravishing. Consuming. Thoroughly possessing. You did not live a 
few hundred years without learning a thing or two about kissing.

"Agent Mulder!"

It took Mulder a moment to realize that the kiss had stopped. That 
Skinner was standing in the doorway watching them and that Vince had 
not disappeared this time. Instead, the handsome blond vampire smiled 
down at him, gave him one last hard kiss and ran for the door.

** Ran for the door!**

Since when did Vince run and not just dramatically vanish? Mulder 
stared after him in shock, rooted to his spot on the floor.

"Make a new acquaintance at that bar, Agent Mulder?"

"No! No, that was the vampire. That was Vince. He . . . he wanted a 
kiss . . . he . . . "

"I just bet he did," Skinner was eying him, the anger and hurt evident 
in his eyes. Scully joined him in the doorway. She, too, looked 
disappointed.

"Look, you have to believe me, that was the vampire. He . . . he . . . 
he said if I kissed him. . . just once . . . one kiss . . . that he 
would go . . . that he would . . . he said . . . he . . . It wasn't my 
fault!!!

"Mulder, go get my strap."

End One

Continued 2