The Danville Series by Cadillac Red Disclaimer: The characters of Fox Mulder, Dana Scully and Walter Skinner do not belong to me; they belong to Chris Carter and Fox. I mean no harm and will make no money from their use. Spoilers: Minor ones for the pilot and Avatar Setting: Fifth Season for the show. Follows previous stories Life Goes On and Punishment Tour Rating: PG. Discipline, no slash. Title: Double Trouble Author: Cadillac Red Summary: Mulder sets off on another UFO chase, this time finding a more than willing companion in Skinner's youngest brother. They both buy more trouble than they're prepared for when the Assistant Director catches up with them. Double Trouble Washington, DC Late afternoon A serious winter storm was working its way up the mid-Atlantic Coast, sweeping across the Delmarva Peninsula with gale force winds, coating the nation's capital in a thick coat of snow as it stalled above the District of Columbia and its surrounding suburbs. In the halls of the J. Edgar Hoover building, all non-essential personnel had been released at 2 p.m. and by 3:30, only a handful of those non-essentials remained. With no urgent case in progress, Special Agent Fox Mulder and Special Agent Dana Scully were deemed non-essential in this emergency and Scully had decided to leave at 2 o'clock to make the trip to Annapolis before the worst of the storm arrived, planning to ride it out with her mother at the family home. Mulder offered to accompany her, but she laughingly told him the Scully women were a hardy lot and didn't need 'a big strong man to protect them -- or shovel their snow! But thanks anyway!' "So this is the fate of the American male in the 90's, huh, Scully? We've been replaced by snowblowers!" He easily ducked the pen she leveled at him as she left the basement office. Mulder decided to stay at work and read some old e-mail he'd been ignoring. That is, until the power started to flicker and his computer blinked out twice. Deciding it was fate telling him to go home, he packed up and decided to stop in at the A.D.'s office before leaving. The A.D.'s assistant, Kim, was already gone, having fled almost two hours earlier when the mass exodus took place. This was threatening to be the worst blizzard to hit Washington, D.C. in decades, by all accounts. "Mulder!" Assistant Director Walter Skinner exclaimed when he walked through his open office door. "I was just calling you." Mulder raised an eyebrow. He had nothing pending with the A.D, he'd only come by so Skinner would know he hadn't run like a scared rabbit when the first few inches of white stuff accumulated -- like nearly everyone else. Skinner, 'the ex-Marine,' was well known for his refusal to let weather conditions, no matter how severe, be an impediment to his work schedule. No matter how extreme the weather got, the man never missed a day. If he was in town, his 4-wheel-drive jeep was always parked in its reserved space in the parking garage below the building, close to the elevator, ahead of almost everyone's arrival in the building each day. "I just got a call from my brother, Andy," he continued as Mulder took a seat in one of the guest chairs. "He was in town for the day on business, planning to fly back to Chicago tonight. But the airports are all closed and he can't get out. He's on his way over. I wanted to see if you can join us for dinner." Mulder was obviously pleased by the invitation and Skinner was pleased to see he was pleased. "Aside from boarding up my windows, I had no other plans, sir," he joked. "And I think the city's supply of plywood is already depleted." "Andy should be arriving any minute," Skinner said, a faint smile creasing his face. "If you think your windows will survive without you, I'm buying dinner." "Most people think a blizzard blowing through my apartment would be an improvement," Mulder laughed. "I'll go down to the lobby and look out for Andy." Andy Skinner came through the visitors entrance of the Hoover building with his overcoat pulled over his head, fighting brutal wind gusts just to get the glass door open. He looked like a younger version of his brother, tall and broad but with most of his hair still in place. He immediately spotted Mulder standing next to the security checkpoint. Mulder leaned toward the guard and spoke in a stage whisper. "Be careful with this one, Victor. He's Skinner's little brother. Probably armed and dangerous." Victor smiled but Andy laughed out loud as the guard watched him come through the metal detector anyway, then handed him a badge marked 'Visitor.' "I better not be carrying anything suspect. Walter will have my head!" The two men shook hands, then exchanged a brief hug. Mulder was always surprised by how physically affectionate the A.D.'s family was. And still more surprised he'd been admitted into their family circle. "The storm's really picking up now," Andy told him. "The cab driver almost didn't want to take me this far, the wind and snow are making it difficult to see. I'm pretty sure we slid the last two blocks! And the radio says they're getting close to declaring an emergency. . . For a Chicago boy, of course, this is just a normal day!" "Well, all I know is, if the Assistant Director's bailing out early, that's good enough for me. Next stop, Oz!" They arrived in Skinner's reception area as he exited his private office, carrying a handful of file folders. He dropped them in the in-box on Kim's desk, then turned to greet his brother with a huge smile, a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Turning his head to Mulder, he explained, "I don't know if Andy told you yet, Mulder, but he's in mourning. He had tickets for the Bulls against the Knicks tonight -- and now he can't get home to see the game. Our job is to try to keep him from hurting himself!" Mulder looked stricken and replied in kind. "Just my opinion but, suicide may be the only rational response under the circumstances, sir . . . !" "Don't encourage him, Mulder," Skinner cut back in, smiling. "I've already heard the trials and travails of Andy Skinner on the phone. I thought we'd have dinner at O'Neill's, that way you can both watch the game on the big-screen TV. Next best thing to being there!" Before either of them could respond, the phone on Kim's desk rang. It was Skinner's line and he picked it up immediately, recognizing from the digital caller ID screen that it was from the Director's office. Mulder's eyes had picked up the call's origination as well. "Uh, oh," the young agent murmured. Skinner raised an eyebrow as he lifted the handset. "I didn't do anything, sir, I promise!" "Skinner," the AD answered the phone, shooting Mulder an amused look. He was mildly surprised to find it was the Director himself on the line and Skinner surreptitiously turned his back to Mulder and Andy, while a short conversation took place between him and the FBI's highest official. When he hung up the phone, Skinner was all business again. He told his brother and Mulder that something had come up and he had to take a conference call in 15 minutes with the Director and the Attorney General, a call that would probably last another hour or so. "I really didn't do anything to get her attention," Mulder said firmly. "This has nothing to do with you -- for a change," Skinner said. "It's a case in Louisiana that's taken on some strong political currency. Why don't you head to O'Neill's and I'll meet you there later." But the call ran significantly longer than expected. Despite the worsening weather, the A.G. and the Director were more concerned with the political firestorm set off by an ongoing investigation in New Orleans. The local office had not managed to find a real lead after more than a month of highly-publicized investigation, the relationship between the Bureau and the NOPD had gone from bad to worse, and now a senior member of the State Legislature had been leaked as a suspect in witness tampering and the disappearance and possible murder of two of those witnesses. The Bureau was facing a public relations black eye and the possibility of failing to identify a suspect they could reasonably hope to see indicted. Under pressure from the U.S. Attorney's office, with the AG’s backing, they were turning to Skinner to provide both damage control and a speedy resolution to the mess. Skinner knew the request for his assistance was merely an order wrapped in the cloak of politeness. He didn't bother to pretend otherwise. Once the Attorney General excused herself from the remainder of the call, the Director, Deputy Director and the others got down to the real business of the call. "I want to be able to pull the team I want," Skinner said with no further preliminaries. "Whatever they're on now, I get first call." "Walter, I'm surprised you would want to reach beyond your own people," Jana Cassidy commented. She was the head of the Office for Professional Review and was involved because of the perceived problems the previous team had already had. Skinner ignored the implication behind her comment and continued. "There's a guy in the Boston office who used to be ASAC in New Orleans," Skinner said. "He's from the area and he knows it like the back of his hand, politically and otherwise. Claude Fontanescu. We'll need his street smarts. And he'll know who else in the New Orleans office we need." "Done," the Director replied. "I'll need full use of a mobile lab and a team of forensics people," Skinner continued. "And I want Agent Scully to head up that effort." Everyone on the call knew the AD in charge of the FBI lab would protest, but a request from the Director would be granted. "And I want Agent Mulder as SAC," Skinner concluded. "Mulder!" Cassidy exclaimed, giving voice to the surprise almost everyone else felt. "There's nothing 'spooky' or paranormal about this case!" The Director broke in. "This is a political hot potato already, Walter," he said. "Are you sure Mulder's the guy?" "You've had a good team working on this for over a month, led by Tom Chandler," Skinner replied. "He's good and I guarantee they followed all the rules and procedures to the letter. And got nowhere. The data's comprehensive and all over the place, and we've all heard there's no clear pattern or theory. You need a fresh set of eyes on this, a fresh perspective. And that's Mulder's strength. He can digest a lot of material and find patterns no one else sees . . . reorganize large quantities of conflicting data into something that makes sense--" "Something that makes sense to him," Cassidy interrupted. "You've never had the chance to work with him, Jana," Skinner said tersely. "His solve rate on traditional cases is the highest in the bureau--" The Director cut in again. "We're counting on you to bring this home, Walter," he said putting an end to the discussion. "This is your call. If you say Mulder's SAC on this, it's done." In a bar in Crystal City, the subject of this heated discussion nursed a beer and chatted casually with the A.D.'s younger brother and some other patrons who'd chosen to ride out the storm in the friendly haven of their favorite sports bar. They were idly watching a baseball game that didn't matter; Spring training had just begun and this was just a chance to see the pre-season form of two teams that probably wouldn't be in the hunt for a title this season anyway. "So, Mulder," Andy lifted his long-neck and tapped it against Mulder's. "I guess I owe you one. Thanks to you I've given up my place in the record book -- the one for the last 'punishment tour' in the Skinner house!" Mulder blushed a little and swallowed the dregs of his beer as the bartender brought them another round at Andy's signal. "Anything for you, Andy," he joked quietly. "Never let it be said I don't do my part to help out my friends." Andy put an arm around his shoulder, sensing it was a bit of a sore point for his companion. "Really, Mulder, nothing to be embarrassed about. I'll even tell you what earned me my final tour -- at least, I keep hoping it was my swan song!" Mulder settled back on the bar stool and waited; when Mulder had been sentenced to the 'punishment tour,' the AD told him that Andy had suffered a similar fate a few years earlier. He had wondered ever since what had brought Skinner's easy-going, younger brother to that circumstance. He was a computer programmer, for God's sake, with a wife and two kids. "I don't know if Walter told you this, but I had a pretty wild time in my twenties and early thirties. I worked on a lot of consulting projects, stayed long enough to finish whatever project it was, took my completion bonus and headed for somewhere. I'd stop working and ski for four months, I went on safari in Africa for half a year once. I took six months and went on an "Endless Summer' surfing expedition that ended in a jail in New Zealand." He smiled, remembering it all fondly, Mulder saw. "Anyway, Walter and Joe bailed me out of a lot of scrapes along the way. I met Eileen when I was working at Microsoft, almost 15 years ago now. We were assigned to a project together and we made such a good team, we pretty much always worked together after that. She's as focused and driven as I'm laid-back. But in my defense, I'm the one who does the 'vision thing,' The creative leaps that earned us a reputation for being the best, that's generally my area. We'd finish a project, usually something no one had done before thanks to me, on time and under budget, thanks to Eileen. She'd take the bonus, invest it in something solid and dependable, and move on to the next project. I'd take the bonus and head to some far corner of the world until the money ran out." He looked at Mulder and shrugged. "But we complemented each other well and gradually she became my best friend, outside of my family. And both our families kept wondering why it never turned into anything more." He shook his head. "Actually I'm not sure myself. I always thought she was hot, you know? I just didn't want to risk everything else we shared if I screwed up the relationship, I guess! And she's smart, smarter than the bimbos I used to date. Probably smarter than me, truth be told. I wasn't sure I could handle sleeping with someone who so totally had my number!" Mulder nodded. This story resonated with the younger man but he didn't want to give that too much thought right now. "Anyway, we were working on a project in South America about five years ago. In Rio. It's a great city, real romantic. One thing led to another . . . and the next thing I knew, we had crossed my imaginary line. And it was as great as I always imagined it would be. We got engaged, Eileen's family and mine were planning the big, splashy wedding they'd been anticipating for years. And then about three weeks before the wedding, I got the jitters, you know what I mean? Big time. I suddenly realized that marriage meant, if I wanted to pick up and head to Tahiti someday, I really couldn't. I'd have 'RESPONSIBILITY!' And I panicked. I told Eileen I couldn't go through with it and then I left her to deal with the aftermath, canceling everything, telling our families." Mulder took another swallow from his beer, recognizing that Andy was not sugarcoating his actions, he was owning up to every measure of his irresponsible and inexcusable behavior. His respect for the A.D.'s brother grew proportionately. "I got on a plane and headed for Canada, the northern Rockies. I always wanted to ski that area. I figured no one would think to look for me there, they wouldn't have a clue where I'd gone and I could hide out for a few months, 'til the whole thing blew over. . . " He laughed wryly and turned to face Mulder. "Know who could find me?" "An Assistant Director of the FBI could!" "Yeah, first time I used my credit card! Walter and Joe showed up the next day and hauled my ass back to Danville." Andy shook his head, recalling his own naivete. "Anyway, my family was disappointed in my decision but they said getting married or not was my choice. The problem they had was with how I handled it," he continued. "The 'persuader' got a real workout that week. And it turned out Walter had spoken to Eileen and asked her not to cancel any of the plans until he had a chance to talk some sense into me. It also turned out Eileen had told Nora, Joe's wife, that she was pregnant. She was planning to tell me the night I bailed out on our plans." He shook his head again. "That's how it works in my family. Nora knew, she told Joe. Joe told Walter. And I guess everybody knew about the baby before I did! I remember Walter talking to me one night, when I was still insisting I couldn't go through with it. He said that was okay, if I could just give him one good reason to call it off. I said, 'What's a good reason?' and he said the only one he knew was not loving Eileen. And I couldn't bring myself to say I didn't love her because . . . I did." Andy swallowed down the rest of his beer and gave Mulder a wry smile. "After being cut off from all contact with the outside world for a week, I found I really only wanted to talk to one person anyway -- Eileen. When I got phone privileges back, I called her and . . . she gave me a hard time but she eventually softened. Anyway, the wedding went off as planned a week later and she told me about the baby on our wedding night. Now I've got a four-year-old son and a two-year-old daughter and they're the lights of my life. And Eileen and I have an agreement. I can go to Tahiti any time I want -- as long as we all go together! And honestly, now I wouldn't want it any other way." Mulder could see how sincere and open Andy was about all of it. He smiled ruefully to himself, wondering if his own life would ever take such a turn. He was interrupted by the ringing of his cell phone. "Mulder, I'm still tied up," Skinner said when he answered. "The weather's screwing up communications and I still need to get to a few people. You guys go ahead and eat. . ." Mulder and Andy were just about to move to a table when the cell phone rang yet again. "Mulder, you'll never believe what's going on near Dover!" Frohike's voice jumped out of the phone at him. "The Air Force has what appears to be a real, live UFO in its sights!" "What? Are you sure, Frohike?" Byers joined the conversation from another extension. "We picked up some civilian communication about this UFO, several people have video and the local TV station's got a unit out there. And the Air Force sent two jets up after it, out of the base at Dover!" Mulder was torn between heading for the offices of the Lone Gunmen and staying with Skinner's brother. He decided he had to see what the Gunmen had. He explained quickly to Andy that he had to leave but the other man was having none of it. "You're not leaving me here if you have a chance of seeing a real one," Andy replied, grabbing his overcoat. "On the way over, I'll tell you about the UFO I saw when I was in South America a few years ago!" Once with the Gunmen, Mulder introduced Andy and they got a fast catch-up from Byers while Frohike and Langly tried to see what else they could get by hacking into various computer systems, the TV station's satellite hook-up, and the local police radio band. The cops had now gotten dozens of calls about the lights in the sky just west of Dover. "Too bad we can't get into the Air Force's system," Langly sighed in frustration. Andy had been watching this all with interest. Finally, he spoke. "I can get you in, I think." "You can?" Byers, Langly and Frohike responded almost in unison. And Mulder's head swung in Andy's direction, his face covered with surprise. "I was a consultant on the creation of that communications system about three years ago," he replied matter-of-factly. "I know where the weak points are. There aren't many, but they're there." "We can't do it from here," Byers shook his head. "They'd trace it in no time." Now Andy shook his head. "I just finished a job in Iceland, working on the systems for the major Internet provider there. I can route the call through several different countries, then terminate it in Reykjavik, at a dead account that I'll reactivate for just a few minutes. . . . It should be completely untraceable." "Andrew Skinner!" Langly spoke up suddenly. "You're the Andrew Skinner who hacked into Pacific Bell's systems back in '82!" Andy smiled, partly pleased that someone remembered that feat. Mulder blinked at him in shock. "Long story," he said, turning his attention to the computer keyboard Langly had just stepped away from. "Walter brokered a deal that got me out of being arrested, but I had to help PacBell develop a security system to keep other people from figuring out how to do the same thing. Got me started on my career, actually! . . . But it did earn me a few weeks in the Danville State Penitentiary," he said, giving Mulder a quick glance that told the rest of that story, one only the two of them could truly appreciate. His fingers worked at lightning speed setting up the links that would let them get a look at whatever the video cameras mounted on the two Air Force jets were picking up. It took less than two minutes to get the image on the screen. "Yikes!" Frohike whispered, seeing the image at last. "That looks like the real thing to me!" Without a word, Mulder grabbed his coat and headed for the door. Andy was on his heels. "Not without me," he said definitively. "I can't take you, Andy," Mulder turned back. "Skinner'd kill me if something happens--" Andy passed him and headed out the door. "Coming, Mulder?" he called back. Frohike called to the two of them as they headed out. "The police have been warning everyone to stay off the roads! The worst of the storm's just hitting--" But they'd disappeared out the door and down the hallway before he could go further. "Man," Langly muttered, turning back to the computer to try to get some further information from the local sources they could tap into. "Both those dudes are mucho crazy!" The growing storm made it almost impossible to travel but they pressed on anyway. They were stopped twice at roadblocks but Mulder flashed his badge and was allowed to continue after giving the highway police the impression he was there on official business. Andy just shook his head and laughed each time they made it through. "I gotta get me one of those, Mulder," he said. "They're like the keys to the kingdom!" The Lone Gunmen rang him twice with further updates; the UFO had disappeared, then reappeared almost immediately some fifty miles away and the Air Force had scrambled another couple of jets. More calls from citizens to the local police and now the local TV station was getting pictures as well. Mulder could taste this one and he sped up despite the mounting accumulation of snow and radio reports that warned everyone to stay home and off the roads. Assistant Director Skinner pulled his jeep into a parking space right in front of O'Neill's. Entering the darkened bar, he glanced around for his brother and his most troublesome agent. Not finding them, he took a seat at the bar and ordered a light beer. When the bartender brought it over, he asked about Mulder. "He was here for a while, with another guy. Then he got a call," Desmond O'Neill told him. "From someone named . . . Doohicky, I think. Then he and the other guy ran out of here like the devil himself was at their backs!" Skinner nursed his beer a few minutes trying to decide what to do next. Then he pulled his cell phone out of his coat pocket and dialed Mulder's number. "Mulder." "Skinner. Where the hell are you, Mulder?" Mulder's heart nearly stopped. He'd been expecting another call from the Lone Gunmen with an update. He was not prepared for Skinner and the inevitable question he asked and he was caught up short. "Sir! I. . . we . . that is--" "We ran into a stranded motorist, sir. At O'Neill's. We couldn't just leave her there, you know. So we drove her home." "Where?" "Where what, sir?" "Where did you have to drive her, Mulder? The stranded motorist," Skinner replied casually, not wanting to tip his hand. "Oh! Maryland, sir. Aberdeen, Maryland." He could feel Andy's eyes boring a hole in the side of his head as he listened to this conversation but he had no choice but to stumble on now. Andy was shaking his head, muttering something under his breath about the foolhardiness of lying to his older brother. "Well, you know what they say about good deeds, Mulder," the Assistant Director said. "Just drive carefully. I hear the weather's a bear out there." "Oh, it is, sir. We'll be careful. You might just want to stay at the office and ride this one out from there." "Hmmm, good idea, Mulder," he said, letting the younger agent drive another nail into his own coffin. After hanging up the phone from Mulder, he waited another minute, then dialed into the Bureau's communications & operations center, command post central whenever there was an emergency. Getting the Special Agent on Duty on the phone, he asked her what was going on. "What's not going on, sir?" Janice Quinn replied. "This storm has the entire region tied up, it's just been upgraded to a declared emergency. All non-emergency traffic's supposed to be off the roads, but of course, our citizens aren't all that compliant. The police everywhere are handling stranded vehicles and accidents. Air traffic's completely clogged up in the entire eastern half of the country as a result of the airports being closed from Atlanta to New York. . . . Now Boston's just shutting down, I see. Oh, and to top it off, the Air Force is tracking a possible UFO over the Eastern Shore!" He asked her a few questions about the UFO and then asked to be kept informed of anything else unusual. Just before hanging up, she apparently noticed something else coming across her screen. "This gets stranger all the time, sir," Agent Quinn said. "The Air Force is now reporting that their comm system's been breached by, get this, Iceland! They think they're being attacked by Iceland. . . . Well, that explains all the snow, I guess. Must be their secret weapon!" He dialed Mulder's cell phone again. "I'm sorry. The cellular customer you're trying to reach--" Skinner angrily pushed the 'END' button, guessing Mulder had turned off his phone after their last conversation. He took out his pocket calendar and looked up Andy's work number, knowing it would eventually transfer to his beeper. In the car some 75 miles away, Andy felt his beeper vibrate and unhooked it from his belt. "Uh, oh," he said unnecessarily. "That's probably Walter. . . Yep, it's his cell number." Mulder and he looked at each other, neither one sure what to do next. The weather had gotten significantly worse in the past half hour and they were starting to fishtail regularly, unable to get much traction on the snowy roads. There was very little other traffic but what there was, was moving at a crawl. "We've come this far, we can't really turn back now, can we?" Andy said finally. Mulder smiled gratefully. He'd been hoping that was Andy's feeling too. Andy turned his beeper off and pocketed the thing. Approaching the town of Hazelton, the epicenter of the latest reports, Mulder slowed a little more and he and Andy started looking at the sky, trying to get a glimpse of what it seemed the entire local population had been watching. The worst part of the storm was directly overhead now and visibility was almost nil. Still, there was some ominous light in the sky toward the east, he thought. He pointed it out to Andy who was also unable to discern what might be causing the strange effect. A car coming in the opposite direction suddenly veered into their path and Mulder had to jerk the steering wheel quickly to the right to avoid it. Unable to get any traction, they slid off the side of the road for several hundred feet, landing in a steep ditch. Both men were jostled and dazed by the impact. "Whoa," Andy spoke first, a few seconds after they came to a crashing halt. "What the hell did we almost hit?" Mulder didn't reply, he was staring at the digital display on the car's dashboard. "Did you pass out, Andy?" he asked suddenly. "No, I didn't get knocked out," his passenger replied, curiously. "And neither did you." "No, neither one of us was unconscious," Mulder said, growing excited. "But we lost nine minutes!" "What are you talking about? How could we lose nine minutes?" "I was looking at the clock just before the accident. It was 7:43. Now it's 7:52, see!" He jumped out of the car and looked up at the sky. "It had to be real!" Andy got out of the car, too, and started looking around to see if they could locate the other vehicle they'd almost collided with. He didn't know what Mulder was talking about but the other driver might need help. Mulder eventually caught up with him and excitedly filled him in on his theory about missing time as they continued the search for the other vehicle. There was no other car, though and they moved back toward their own for shelter against the cold and the swirling snow. Mulder's car was deeply entrenched and there was no hope of backing it out of there so they settled in, hoping someone would find them soon, before the car ran out of gas and the heater gave out. Luck was with them and in less than half an hour, they were spotted by a road crew sanding the highway down and soon a police cruiser made its way to pick them up. They were taken to the local state troopers' station and figured they'd be spending the night. But after identifying himself and having a cup of hot coffee with Andy and some of the locals, Mulder was shocked when Captain Samuels offered to have one of his troopers drive them home. Alexandria, Virginia was definitely out of the jurisdiction for a Maryland State Trooper but he wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. At just past 11 o'clock, they were dropped off in front of Mulder's building. Entering, Andy again whistled his appreciation of the power of an FBI badge. "I can't believe they drove us all the way here. Like they had nothing else to do on a night like this!" Mulder nodded his own agreement with that statement, although the truth was, he'd been as shocked as Andy by the offer. The electricity in his building was out, and they wearily trudged up the four flights of stairs and into his dark apartment. Mulder headed straight for the kitchen where he grabbed a couple of beers out of the refrigerator and a flashlight. "At least these are still cold," he said, offering one to Andy. "I'll clear off my bed in a couple of minutes and we can flip a coin for possession of the couch." "I don't mind the couch, Mulder," Andy replied. "I want to get up early and catch the first available flight out of town tomorrow anyway. Given everything, I want to avoid seeing Walter until next month at my Mother's birthday. He'll have plenty of time to cool off by then. . . . I don't know what you're gonna do." Mulder laughed a little uneasily, trying to disguise the fact that he was worried about exactly that. "I've been wanting to check on something weird out in New Mexico for a while. I think this is exactly the right time for me to get out of Dodge for a while!" He swung the beam of the flashlight into his living room so he and Andy could take a seat when another beam suddenly lit up in the corner. There was the Assistant Director, sitting quietly in an armchair. "Welcome back, gentlemen," he said evenly. "Been a busy night, hasn't it?" Both Andy and Mulder were stopped dead in their tracks and neither could manage to choke out a reply immediately. So Skinner got up from the chair and continued. "Mulder, pack a bag. You'll need a fresh suit for tomorrow. Preferably a dry one. We have a new case -- NOT in New Mexico, by the way." Mulder was still too shocked to move and he stayed rooted in place. "Now, Mulder!" Skinner roared. Mulder jumped and ran for the bedroom to comply with the A.D.'s order. Andy had gotten his equilibrium back now and he watched Mulder with thinly disguised amusement. "You've certainly got him terrified, Walter," he said to his brother as he watched the younger man scurrying around grabbing everything he'd need to go to work tomorrow. Mulder tried to catch his attention from the darkened bedroom, shaking his head to warn Andy that Skinner in this mood was too dangerous to play games with. But the other man didn't catch his signal, or didn't take it seriously. "We took that stranded motorist home--" he began before his brother cut him off. "Don't bother with that story, Andy," Skinner said firmly. "I was at O'Neill's when I spoke to Mulder. I know there was no stranded motorist. And I know about the call from Frohike." Mulder groaned audibly in the other room. Now Andy was caught a little off balance. "Okay, busted," he said, trying to put a reasonable spin on it. "But you can't blame us for wanting to see a real UFO. . . " Skinner watched his brother in the shadowed light of Mulder's apartment. Mulder came to a stop beside him, holding an overnight bag into which he'd stuffed everything he'd need for the next day; a suit carrier was thrown over his other arm. Both of the younger men looked at him hopefully. "No, I guess I can't blame you for that," Skinner replied agreeably. He watched them both begin to visibly relax. "I can blame you for driving around in weather like this, risking your lives on a thing like maybe seeing a UFO. When every police force in five states is urging people to stay off the roads. It's a lucky thing I know Captain Samuel of the Maryland State Troopers from an old case we worked years ago. Otherwise they would have let you sit at the stationhouse all night. As it was, I had to promise him my tickets for the Orioles season opener in return for your ride home." He began to herd them toward the door as he continued. "And then there's lying about where you were, that I can certainly blame you for. Turning off the phone and the beeper when you knew I'd be trying to reach you, I'd say those are 'blameable' offenses, wouldn't you?" He had to prod both of them forward toward the stairs now, the two younger men were so shocked by the extent of his knowledge and worried about the scope of his anger they were barely able to move. He continued his monologue as they descended the stairs. "It was a strange night, all in all," Skinner said evenly. "Did you know someone hacked into the Air Force comm system tonight, too? By way of Iceland, of all things. Didn't you just finish a job in Reykjavik, Andy?" They reached Skinner's apartment a half hour later. Neither Mulder nor Andy had uttered a word during the entire drive. And communication from the AD had been limited to muttered curse words under his breath as he pushed the 4-wheel-drive jeep through more than a foot of snow and negotiated roads that already resembled ice rinks more than highways. Miraculously, the power in Crystal City was still on when they finally made it to his building, so they were spared the walk up the sixteen flights to Skinner's apartment. Skinner turned on all the lights in his apartment as soon as they entered. "Both of you take a hot shower," he barked at the two younger men. "You're both likely to come down with pneumonia from being wet and cold all this time." Mulder found himself hoping pneumonia would appear, and quickly if there was a God. A week in a hospital might be his only hope at this point. He and Andy headed for the spare bedroom and took turns showering in the hall bathroom. Skinner left them both sweat pants, tee shirts and socks from his seemingly endless supply and they found themselves warm and dry for the first time in hours. The AD had wheeled a roll-away bed into the room from somewhere and left a clean set of sheets on top. "Get that bed made up," he called in from the other room and the two of them hopped to it. Andy whispered to Mulder as they fitted the sheets on the cot. "Let's not do anything to make this worse. If we look properly remorseful, maybe he'll just let it go with that." Mulder nodded, hoping Andy was right. Skinner hadn't even yelled yet, though. And Mulder knew he was always most dangerous when he was calm and angry, just like tonight. Despite his gnawing hunger, getting sent to bed without supper seemed like the most appealing option to the younger agent, at this point. They finished the chore just as Skinner arrived in the doorway. Glancing over, both of their hearts sank. Skinner was holding his belt, doubled over in his right hand. "Okay, both of you, drop your pants and get over that bed," Skinner said, gesturing toward the rollaway. Mulder heard Andy release a heavy sigh and turn to comply. His mind told him to do the same thing, but his body was unable to move in response. Fear and shock had left him paralyzed. "Now, Mulder!" Skinner said firmly, grabbing his arm and turning him around forcefully. Jogged into action, he slid his sweat pants and boxers down to his thighs and woodenly took his place next to Andy. He heard Skinner deliver the first lick to his younger brother. "What's this strapping for, Andy?" he asked him as he gave him another stinging slap with the belt. "For hacking into the Air Force's comm system!" he gasped as a third lick found its mark. "And what about you, Mulder?" Skinner asked the young agent as he delivered another lick, this time to Mulder's upturned bottom. "For lying to you, sir!" he called out immediately as a second lick made contact with his butt. "Owwwww!" "Andy, what else?" Skinner asked, giving his brother three more licks across his bare bottom as he answered his older brother's question. Then he turned his attention back to Mulder, delivering a couple more stinging blows to his already reddening backside. Mulder already felt tears running down his face but he struggled valiantly not to cry out loud unless Andy did first. Back and forth the A.D.'s belt went between the two young men, who eventually did give in to the discomfort and humiliation. Tears of shame and gasps of pain came from both of them as the older man focused the final half dozen licks on the 'sit spot,' where their butts met the top of their thighs. "You know how I feel about lying now, don't you, Mulder?" Skinner asked him as he gave him two final stinging smacks. "Yes, sir!" he replied quickly, between sobs. "I'll never lie to you again!" "And, Andy, what about hacking?" he asked his brother as he let him have the final three licks. "I'll never hack again," Andy cried, sobbing loudly now, too. "I'll never do it again, I promise!" "Okay," Skinner said, dropping his hand to his side for a moment before placing the belt on the dresser beside him. "Okay, we're through." He let the two young men collect themselves for a minute or two. Andy composed himself first and pushed himself up from the rollaway bed, sniffling as he readjusted his clothes. Mulder was still too stunned and ashamed to move but he saw Skinner pull his brother into a hug in his peripheral vision and heard the two of them quietly exchange some words. He didn't know how much time had passed before Skinner reached down and tapped him softly on the back of his head. "It's over now, Mulder," he said. "I want you to get up." Mulder pushed himself off the cot and dressed quickly, his breathing coming in sporadic, tear-soaked hitches as he fought to regain his composure. He hung his head and tried to think of a way to save some face here but he couldn't come up with one. He'd gotten 22 licks with Skinner's belt and he knew Andy had gotten four or five more than he had. He couldn't believe how quickly Andy had recovered. He felt Skinner pull him into an embrace and he buried his head in the A.D.'s shoulder, trying not to start crying all over again. "This better hold you for a while now, Agent Mulder," Skinner said lightly. "I've just sold you as SAC on that high profile case in New Orleans I inherited today. Very complicated, very political. You have to be at the top of your game -- and on your best behavior. You think you can manage that, Mulder?" Mulder was surprised by the A.D.'s words and he showed it. Glancing up from Skinner's shoulder he looked questioningly at his boss. "Is it an X-file, sir?" "No, Mulder," Skinner smiled. "It's just a little extortion, witness tampering and possible double murder. With political overtones. But I told them if I was going to take it on, I wanted the Bureau's best agent heading the investigation team. And that's you." He gave the younger man another quick hug and tousled the back of his hair. "Okay, get into that bed now, Mulder. We have an 8 a.m. meeting with the Director." He turned to Andy and pointed to the rollaway. "And by the way, Andy, the airports aren't expected to open until at least 2 p.m., so you'll have an entire free morning after Mulder and I go to the office. I'll leave you a pad and pen on the counter in the kitchen. I want 500 lines of "I will never illegally hack into another computer system again" before you leave. . . . And, Andy, I will count when I get home." His younger brother nodded in resignation. "I know you will," he sighed. Skinner turned the light out and gave them both a warning look before wishing them good night and closing the door behind him. Mulder waited for him to walk away. Choking back a sob, he whispered, "I'm sorry, Andy." Andy's head popped up. "For what, Mulder?" "For tonight. It was all my fault. You never would have gotten involved in any of this if it wasn't for me. And you got punished worse than I did." "Oh, that's not your fault," he replied, putting his head back down on the pillow. "That's traditional in my family. The older one always gets held a little more responsible." Now Mulder's head popped up. "How many traditions do you have in your family anyway?" "I don't know. But I imagine you'll get acquainted with them all eventually! Anyway, Joe and I used to get punished together all the time when we were kids. Even when the trouble was mostly my fault, he always got the worst of it. . . . I haven't been the oldest culprit since Jeremy . . . ." Mulder laid back down, not wanting to get another Skinner started on remembering the youngest brother, who'd died at the age of nine. But Andy's mind had taken another turn anyway. He propped his head on his hand and whispered conspiratorially. "Did Walter ever tell you about the time all three of us got it together?" Now he had Mulder's full attention. Turning on his side to face Andy, he whispered back. "No, he never did." "Well, it only happened once. Walter's four years older than Joe, he didn't really hang with us like that. Mostly, he was always keeping us out of trouble. But this one time was, let me see, I was 13 and Joe was 15. It was the summer after Walter got out of the Marines, so I guess he was 19. Jean was 17 and she and Oliver were 'in love,' with capital letters. She was driving us crazy that summer." Now he was warming to his story and he settled down onto his side also, facing Mulder, with his arm crooked under his head. "Joe and I decided to play a practical joke on her. There was a fair at the church on Sunday, after services. The whole family was supposed to help out. I won't go into the details, but Walter found out about what we were planning. He wasn't really himself when he first got back from Vietnam. . . and I guess Jean was probably driving him nuts too. He didn't bother to try to stop us or anything." Mulder knew a little about Skinner's experience in Vietnam and he suspected he was probably suffering from post-traumatic stress at the time, but he kept his diagnosis to himself and let Andy continue. "Anyway, without going into too much detail, our timing was way off and instead of just the family being there, we ended up embarrassing Jean in front of about half the town. She knew immediately it was me and Joe and she started screaming at us. Next thing I know, my Dad's got us both by the collar, hauling us off to the car. Even in those days, Walter was just the most . . . upstanding guy, you know? Joe and I would never have ratted on him, he wasn't involved in any way in what we'd done. But he walked up to my Dad as he was throwing us in the car to go home, and he told him he'd known what we were going to do and hadn't tried to stop us. I thought the top of my old man's head would blow right off. He told Walter to get his butt in the car, too." "When we got home, he took us all into the family room. Then he pulled the couch away from the wall and took off his belt. He didn't have to give us much instructions from that point, we all knew what to do. Anyway, all three of us got tanned but good, Joe got more than me, and Walter got the worst of it. Not 'cause he did anything himself, just because he didn't stop Joe and me from doing something stupid. My Dad takes that responsibility thing real serious. Then Dad made us all go into the kitchen. Oliver had driven my Mom and Jean home and they were all sitting in the kitchen. Which you'll remember is right next to the family room, so they'd all gotten an earful. He made us apologize to Jean. Then Dad made Walter ask if they thought we'd been punished enough. My Mom immediately said yes, even Jean nodded right away. But Oliver, he hesitated for a few seconds before saying yes. . . . He actually turned out to be a good guy after all, and we all got to be good friends eventually. But that day, I didn't think there was any hope for him." He shook his head now, and smiled ruefully. "But my Dad said he didn't believe we'd been punished enough and he gave us all a punishment tour. I think I got paroled after a week. Joe got a few more days, and Walter got a full two weeks. . . . But actually, it was during that time he came out of his funk, so I guess something good came of it. He decided to take the college scholarship he'd been offered, and basically, he's been hell on wheels ever since!" Mulder opened his mouth to say something but just then the bedroom door opened, throwing a triangle of light into the room, silhouetting the large figure of the Assistant Director in the doorway. Skinner caught two heads immediately dropping to their pillows as the door first cracked open; purposefully deep and regular breathing could be heard in stereo. The AD shook his head. "Good night, gentlemen," he said firmly. "Good night, sir," Mulder replied. In the rollaway, Andy groaned softly into his pillow. Skinner struggled to keep his voice stern and a smile from touching his face. "If I have to come back in here tonight, you'll both regret it," he said meaningfully. He waited another moment, then closed the door quietly once again. Both young men listened as his footsteps disappeared down the hall and the door of the master bedroom closed behind them. "Let me take a wild guess here, Mulder," Andy said quietly. "You get caught a lot, don't you?" THE END