Title:  Say a Little Prayer
Author:  Kwamz 
Disclaimers:  The usual stuff.  Mulder, Scully, Skinner, 
Jeremiah Smith, and Cancer Man don't belong to me they 
belong to Chris Carter and others.  Also the song I say a 
Little Prayer is not mine it is Diana King's and others.
Rating:  PG
Spoilers:  This take place before Gesthsemane.  Mainly 
after Elegy
Keywords: Mulder/Scully Friendship (hints of romance) 
and Mulderangst
Summary:  No summary
Email Address:  Kwamz@aol.com 

I don't care where you send this.  Just as long as they know 
I am the author.  This is my first fanfic so I don't know how 
good this is.  FEEDBACK please!!!  There is Mulderangst.  
I wrote this at like 2:30am when I was listening to I Say a 
Little Prayer so I guess this is where this came from : )


*******************
Fox Mulder's Apartment
11:21pm

I couldn't sleep.  Every time I tried the image of Scully 
dying emerged in my head.  My thoughts were completely 
on Scully and her cancer.  The cancer that I caused.  That 
my search for the truth caused.  That my beliefs caused.  
The phrase kept replaying over and over in my head.  
Scully is dying because of me.  Now matter how much 
Scully told me that it wasn't my fault I always believed it 
was.  

My head is overwhelmed with guilt.  From my sisters 
disappearance, to Scully's disappearance, and to Scully's 
sister,Melissa's, death.   And now this.  Scully's cancer.  
The cancer that is untreatable.  That is caused from her 
disappearance.   In which I could have stopped.  If only I 
had been there, been with her.  Something.  My beliefs are 
hurting everyone I care about.  The truth in which I search 
for is hurting everyone, and I hates it.

I start to pace around the room.  I don't know what I would 
do without Scully.  The only person I trust...my best friend.  
Who I wanted to be lovers with, but I knew I would never 
have the chance at that.  I don't know what to do.  I can't 
sleep, and I shouldn't call Scully and wake her.  The only 
thing I can do now is pray.  Pray for a miracle.  Pray for a 
healing man like Jeremiah Smith to come along.  Damnit!  
I should have made a deal with Cancer Man!  Stupid 
Skinner. If he wouldn't have talked me out of it Scully 
wouldn't have to be dealing with all this pain and the 
medical treatments that were supposedly helping her live 
longer. She is suffering and I pray that she doesn't suffer as 
much as she does in my nightmares.  She shouldn't be 
going through this.  Not Scully.  Not the woman that I love, 
that I care so deeply about.  That I trust with my life.  It's 
not fair!  But as Scully would say "Life isn't fair Mulder,".  
No shit.  She shouldn't be suffering I should be.  I wish I 
could take all her pain and destroy it.  I wish that I was the 
one in pain and not her.  My life is nothing without Scully.

I sit down on the couch again,but then I get on the floor on 
my knees and say a prayer:

"God, please let Scully get better.  She is all I have.  She is 
the only one left.  She is innocent in this fight.  She should 
have never gotten involved.  I shouldn't have let her in.  
And now because of me she is suffering, and she doesn't 
deserve that.  She doesn't deserve to be in pain, and having 
to say good-bye to all her family.  God, please let her live.  
Just let her live."

I climbed back on to the couch.  I feel slightly better.  But 
not totally.  My mind is still overwhelmed with guilt, and 
my thoughts are only about Scully.  But I sense sleep.  
Finally.  As I try to sleep I here the song I say A Little 
Prayer by Diana King going through my head and I soon 
drift off:

"I say a little prayer for you......say a little prayer for 
you....."

-The End

 HOPE YOU LIKED IT!!!!!! FEEDBACK PLEASE!!!!! I 
THINK I AM GOING TO WRITE A SEQUEL 
INVOLVING GESTHSEMANE IF I GET GOOD 
REVIEWS.  THIS IS MY FIRST FANFIC SO BE 
GENTLE!!!!!!!!! :-)

"Celebrate we will because life is sweet but short for 
certain.  We're climbing two by two to be sure these days 
continue.  These things we cannot change."
-Dave Matthews

"I'm not going to ask you if you just said what I think you 
just said because I know it is what you just said." -Dana 
Scully-The X-Files

"I want to believe." -Fox Mulder- The X-Files.