The K-Files, by JeChant1@aol.com
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Hello, tout le monde, you'll have to look at the A-Files to see my
disclaimer.  Yes, my name changed from JeChant to JeChant1, for the
simple fact that I am a moron with computers and managed to erase my
account.  Anyway, here is my next installment in the alphabet files-
hope you like them.  Write to me and tell me what you think, or a
really good joke that you want me to work in to a story.  Thanks!

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The K-Files, by JeChant@aol.com
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        The door slammed as Fox Mulder entered the room.  Dana looked
up, rolled her eyes, and closed the file she had been reading.

        "What's wrong now?"

        He dropped into his chair and brooded.  "Nothing."

        "Then why are you sulking?"

        "I dunno."

        "Skinner?"

        Mulder glanced at her, then shrugged defeatedly.  "Skinner."

        "What did he do?"

        "Nothing much.  He's just being anal."

        Dana nodded as if she understood, which she really didn"t.  "I
wouldn't say that around him if I were you."

        Mulder gave her an incredulous look.  "You mean that he's
anal?"

        "No, just the word 'anal.'  Remember the anal plug incident?"
Mulder remembered.

        "Actually, I think it'd be pretty funny if I managed to use
the word 'anal' in every conversation I had with him."

        "He might think you were coming on to him."

        "There goes that idea."

        "Yeah.  So what did he do that was anal?"

        Mulder made a nondescript motion with his hands.  "He just had
this... aura of anality around him."

        "Anality?"

        "Yeah, anility."

        "May I ask the definition   of 'anility'?"

        "Um... the act of being anal?"

        Dana shook her head.  "There's no such word."

        "Is too."

        "Is not."

        "Is too."

        "Prove it."

        Mulder turned on his computer and managed to go to the spell-
check with a great deal of drama.  He typed in "A-N-A-L-I-T-Y" and
looked smugly at Dana as the computer made whirring noises.  There was
a low beep, and a sign flashed across the screen- "NOT FOUND." Mulder
reddened.  "I must have spelled it wrong."  He selected the option
that found similar words.  "Anility, banality, annihilate.  My
computer must not have it."

        Dana smiled triumphantly.

        Mulder glanced at her and gritted his teeth.

        *       *       *       *       *       *       *       *

        "Mulder, we've been here over three hours.  I'm tired, I'm
hungry, and I still can't believe you're looking for 'anality' in the
FBI library."

        He looked at her in mock surprise.  "Why, Scully!  This is the
best place to look!  Where else can you find thousands of experts on
anality?"

        She glared at him.  "You can't use that word until you find
it.  We've looked at countless dictionaries, encyclopedias, and
thesauruses.  It's over, Mulder.  Let's go home."

        Mulder shook his head determinedly, and was about to speak
when he noticed a tall figure looming behind Scully.  He jumped in
surprise.  "Assistant Director Skinner!"

        Dana whipped around, and her boss regarded them both.  "Hello,
Agents Mulder and Scully.  May I ask what you are doing this late in
our library?  You don't frequent here, especially at this hour."

        Dana looked at Mulder.  Mulder looked back at her and
shrugged, grinning.  She shook her head quickly, but he ignored her.

        "Well, sir, Agent Scully and I got into a little argument over
a word and its existence, so we came to look at the dictionaries."

        Skinner smiled and straightened up.  "I was second place in
the national collegiate spelling bee when I was a junior," he told
them proudly.  "I memorized just about every word in the English
language.  Ask away."

        Dana ground her heel into Mulder's foot, but there was no
stopping him.  "The word was 'anality'."

        Skinner's brow furrowed as Dana groaned inwardly.  "Anality?
Which one of you said it?"

        "I did, sir," said Mulder.

        "Can you tell me what you think the meaning is?"

        Dana coughed.  Mulder paused, then said "The act of being
anal."

        Skinner's face became very passive.  He looked to the right,
then the left.  They were alone.  "Well I sure think it's a word.  In
fact, most of my superiors possess it.  Good night."  With that, he
turned on his heel, leaving Mulder and Dana gaping after him.

        Dana turned to Mulder.  "I can't believe you did that.  Your
obtusity amazes me sometimes."

        "Obtusity?!?  That's not a word."

        "Is too."

End.