"The I-Files", by JeChant@aol.com
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These characters are property of Chris Carter and Ten 
Thirteen Productions.  All are used without permission.  
This was written on March 21st.  Um... This is for the 
EMXC group.  Email me or XFF SciNut if you want to use 
it for some other reason.  Feedback is always appreciated, 
good or bad.  Also, I need people to say whether they want 
Tom Colton to be a recurring character.  Yes?  No?  Write 
and tell me:)

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The I-Files, by JeChant@aol.com
*************************************************

"I'm out of chips, Mulder.  I guess you win."

"No no no, this is where the fun begins."

"What?"

"Now you have to bet something else."

"Like what?"

"Like... a day where you have to act like me."

"Like you?  How many chips is that worth?"

"All that I have left."

"How about a hour instead."

"No can do."

"Then I fold.  From the game."

"Chicken."

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"Uh huh."

"Chicken."

"I am NOT a chicken!"

"Are too."

"Am not!  Knock it off!"

"Cluck cluck cluck cluck BAWK!"

"Fine.  One day."

"It's a deal.  Okay, Scully, show me what you've got."


 * * * * * * * * * * * *

Someone rapped on the door softly, and Mulder shot a look 
at Scully.  

"I know, I know," she said.  "Like you."

She crossed the room and opened the door.  That nervous 
guy Pendrell was standing there shaking.  "Yes?" she said.

"Um, hi, um, am I interrupting anything?"

Scully crossed her arms and adopted a Mulderesque sneer.  
"No, no, we were just having sex."

Pendrell's eyes bugged out.  He stammered for a minute as 
Mulder snickered.  Scully was too good at this.  

"It was a joke, Agent Pendrell."

"Yes, well, of course, I mean, right.  Uh... here are the uh 
the things you wanted from the uh place."

"Eloquently put."  She knew she sounded like a bitch and 
was probably hurting this guy's feelings.  And yet the idea 
of being branded "Scully-Chicken" for life was not 
appealing.  Still, even Mulder had brief attacks of kindness.  

"Would you like a glazed donut?  Agent Mulder and I have 
decided that we want to die young."

He managed a tiny smile.  "Oh gosh no, I better get back to 
work, but it was a really great offer.  Thanks.  Um, bye!"

Scully watched as Pendrell raced down the hall, muttering 
"Place, oh god I can't believe I said PLACE."

She closed the door and returned to her seat.  Mulder 
offered applause, and she blushed.  "Acting like you is 
pretty painful."

"I manage just fine."

She shook her head.  "Let's work, okay?"

They concentrated on the paperwork of a recent case for 
twenty minutes.  Suddenly the phone rang.  Mulder grabbed 
it.  "House of Insanity."  He straightened up.  "We'll be right 
there."

"What?" asked Scully as he dropped the phone on the 
receiver.

"Skinner wants to see us in his office pronto."

 * * * * * * * * * * * *

"You wanted to see us, sir?"

"Yes.  Please have a seat."

The agents sat and glanced at each other.  "Act like me," 
Mulder's eyes reminded.  

Skinner glanced at a stack of papers.  "I received a rather 
disturbing call from Special Agent Raywood this afternoon.  
Seems he sent an Agent Pendrell to your offices.  Said 
Pendrell came back very nervous and upset.  So he'd like to 
know what it is you said to Agent Pendrell that caused him 
to react like he did."

Mulder smiled slightly.  "Sir, perhaps you should ask Agent 
Scully.  I wasn't really there when it happened."

Scully tilted her head the way Mulder always did when 
preparing to be an insubordinate.  "Yes, sir.  Agent Pendrell 
caught Mulder and I in the midst of an argument.  I'm 
afraid I may have been a bit short with Pendrell.  I'll be sure 
to apologize."

"My I ask what the argument was about?"

Scully's mind raced.  "Yes sir.  Agent Mulder made a joke, 
and I commented that he has a self-deprecating sense of 
humor.  He asked me not to say deprecating, because it 
makes him think of the word defecating.  Then we got into 
a discussion about anal plugs.  He says they cause terrible 
rashes in the anus, but I told him that wasn't true.  Then HE 
said that-"

Skinner cleared his throat.  Scully looked at him and 
noticed that his face and chrome had taken on a reddish 
tint.  "I think I get the picture, Agent Scully.  Just... try to 
be more cordial next time."

"Of course, sir."

"Dismissed."

Mulder and Scully left the office, with Skinner staring after 
them.

"Well, Scully, I think you passed.  I no longer have the right 
to call you a chicken."

"Thank God for small favors."

"So what do you have to say after a day of acting like me?"

"How about a game of poker tonight?"  

end.