"Hopeless" by Dianora 2/2 Rating: NC17 for sexual situations Category: S Archive: yes please Spoilers: This is pre-"Christmas Carol," mainly because I don't do Mommy Angst. Only spoilers are for "Redux II." Summary: Mulder loses control for a minute and Our Heroes have to deal with the aftermath. Disclaimer in part One. Comments to Dianora2@aol.com. I'm going to kiss her again, he realized. I'm going to be a moron and kiss her again and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. Slowly, so slowly, he began to move his head toward hers, giving her time to back away, to end it now. Her eyelids fluttered and her mouth opened and closed, but otherwise she didn't move. His lips brushed hers softly, then lifted. He waited, with their mouths mere millimeters apart, until she moved in for the next kiss, her lips barely touching his before pulling away. He leaned in again, and the kiss lasted just a fraction of a second longer this time. They continued like that for a while, indulging in the barest of kisses, their lips coming together and drifting apart again and a gain, softly, quickly, as if afraid to linger for too long. Their dueling mouths was the only contact between them. Finally, with a trembling hand, Mulder reached up to bury his fingers in her hair, and the gesture was like a dam breaking. His mouth covered hers completely and she opened beneath him, taking his tongue into her mouth, kissing fully and deeply and with increasing passion until he was clasping her head in his hands. He felt her fingers brush his waist, then her hands settle there hesitantly. They were kissing and kissing and kissing and finally Mulder pulled away, gulping in air, trying to get his brain to start working again. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes danced. Her chest rose and fell beneath her sweater and Mulder suddenly realized that if he didn't touch her breasts he was going to go mad. "Scully," he whispered, willing her to say something, do something. He didn't release her hair, felt that if he let her go now he'd never have her again. She lifted one hand to touch the side of his face. Her fingers were cool against his cheek. "Scared?" she asked simply. He couldn't help but let out a short laugh at that, delighted when she returned the smile. "What do you think?" he replied. Her smile widened and her eyes looked back down at his mouth. They leaned in again until their lips touched, hesitant once more, worried that they had broken the spell. They hadn't. Her lips were soft and warm and welcoming and her arms slipped more firmly around his waist, her fingers splayed across his lower back. He wrapped his arms more firmly around her, pulling her close, and she didn't resist. The kiss went on for what seemed like forever, until Mulder worked up the nerve to move his lips from hers, to instead nuzzle at her neck, breathing in the perfumed scent of her, tasting the skin at the base of her ear. A low protesting sound escaped from her throat, and he pulled back. "What is it?" he croaked, still holding her tight. She shook her head. "I don't know. It's...it's just too much, Mulder. I can't..." Her voice broke and her eyes sparkled with nascent tears. His heart stopped. "Do you want to leave?" Eternity stretched in the silence. Finally: "No," she whispered. "I want to stay here tonight, if you'll let me." Relief flooded through him in a warm rush and he searched her eyes to make sure she was saying what he thought she was saying. At her answering look of reassurance, he covered her mouth with his again, this time more urgently, putting all of his need and desire into it. He brought one hand up to the swell of her breast, brushed it with his fingers before reaching up to cup it firmly. She moaned softly and leaned into him, encouraging the contact. His head was swimming through murky waters and his skin was aflame and all he could do about it was to keep kissing her and hope it wouldn't end, ever. He began to caress her breast in slow circles as she tangled the fingers of one hand in his hair at the base of his neck. The tenderness in the gesture set him reeling and made him feel bold enough to slip under her t--shirt, touching her breast gingerly through her bra. He rubbed his thumb over the hardened nipple he felt there, and she moaned again. She pulled back a little and his heart stopped, then started up again when he realized she was just taking off her shirt. She slipped it over her head and threw it aside, then allowed him to push aside one strap of the ivory satin bra and kiss her shoulder. When he reached behind to undo the clasp he heard her breathe in sharply, but she didn't protest. He pulled the undergarment off of her slowly, then leaned back to look at her. Her breasts were round, the nipples pale and pebbled against the air. He touched them reverently, tracing them with his fingers. She watched him silently, then surprised him by entwining her arms around his neck and pulling him down with her so that he was lying on top of her on the couch. He showered kisses over her lips, cheeks, nose, forehead, before finally moving lower and taking one nipple into his mouth. Another wordless moan escaped her as he suckled there, nibbling and sucking as she arched up against him and clasped his head in her hands. He moved from one breast to the other, taking his time, enjoying the way she rhythmically smoothed his hair with her slender fingers. Her pelvis began moving in time with her breathing, up and down against him until he had to stop what he was doing, afraid he would lose control. He grabbed at the back of his shirt and pulled it over his head, then sank down against her once more. He reveled in the delicious sensation of skin against skin, her smooth arms against his, her hardened nipples grazing the hair on his chest. They kissed again, leisurely, as if time was standing still for them, lips and tongue meeting and parting, their movements as synchronized like they had been kissing each other forever. At that moment he couldn't remember a time when they hadn't been. Mulder wasn't sure how much more he could take. The very thought of Scully being the woman beneath him had been enough to send him over the edge in his fantasy life -- the reality was almost overwhelming. He began to tug urgently at her sweatpants, undoing the drawstring with clumsy fingers, then dragging them down the length of her shapely legs. He did the same with her panties so that she was naked on the couch, squirming against the chill in the air, reaching for him. Instead he stood up to slip his boxers off. She scootched up on the couch so that she was sitting before him, watching him, boldly drinking in the sight of him. Mulder didn't mind -- size was one of the few things he never had insecurities about. But she looked so damn good sitting there that he couldn't help himself. He knelt before her and spread her thighs and over her strangled protest placed his head between her legs. She let out a loud, high-pitched sigh when his tongue made contact with her flesh. He fought back a smile and explored the delicate folds there, tracing his tongue around every curve, flickering in and out of her, occasionally taking the hardened nub into his mouth and sucking strongly. She hooked her legs over his shoulders and moaned a sound of ecstasy that he never thought he'd hear from her mouth. He opened his eyes and peered up at her. She had both of her hands tangled in her hair, her eyes were closed and her head was thrown back, her mouth slightly parted. Her full breasts heaved with every intake of breath. It was quite possibly the most stunning sight he'd ever seen. It only encouraged him to increase the intensity of what he was doing. He nibbled and tasted and sucked until her hips were rising and falling in tune with him and her moans increased in frequency and volume. Finally she tensed and then exploded, convulsing against him, gasping and groaning wordlessly. He didn't stop teasing her until she subsided. He planted one final kiss and then raised his head and rose up to kiss her on the mouth. She returned the kiss fully, even as her body continued to periodically twitch beneath him. When their lips parted she smiled up at him. "Nice." She sounded downright giddy; it blew him away. "Your turn." He opened his mouth to tell her it wasn't necessary, but she cut him off with a finger to his lips. "Stand up," she said quietly. He obeyed - how could he not? -- and stood before her, then bit his lip when Scully sat up on the couch and took his cock in her mouth. His knees buckled, but he refused to give into them. He locked them into place and buried his fingers in her hair, watching the red head bob up and down as she enveloped him. And her mouth - god. Her mouth was hot and wet and exerting just the right amount of pressure, sliding up and down on him, her tongue scraping the underside of him with deftness. He didn't want to think about how she was so good at it, he just accepted it and went along for the roller coaster ride. His cock throbbed and twitched until he was =really= too close to the edge, and he whispered hoarsely for her to stop, even though it was arguably the toughest thing he'd ever done. She complied immediately, removing her mouth and looking up at him. The air of the room was cold against his wet cock and he found the sensation oddly erotic. Not surprising, he supposed, since every nerve ending felt turned up, attuned to nothing but Her presence, the sight, feel, smell, taste of Her. He pulled her up and close and kissed her for a long time, treasuring her tiny body against his, before backing her up toward the couch. She fell down onto it and took him with her, his body covering hers again, skin against skin. Mulder took Scully's hands in his and raised her arms above her head, bringing himself down on top of her more firmly. His eyes bore into hers, offering one last chance to end it, but she raised her head up to kiss him in answer. He entered her slowly, carefully, nearly stopping when she bit her lip and let out a yelp. Even though she was wet and ready for him, she was nonetheless so tight that he was terrified of hurting her, but she urged him on breathlessly until he was deep inside. It had evidently been a while for her. Once he was in he stopped for a moment, just looking at her. She returned his gaze with a look of happiness and anticipation. "Mulder, I'm fine," she whispered with a self-aware grin. He laughed and began to move slowly within her, in and out, taking his time with sure, measured thrusts, concentrating, wanting this to be as good for her as it already was for him. Her fingers tightened around his as her hips rose and fell to meet his thrusts, the two of them moving together in harmony, their partnership instincts, as always, taking over. He looked down at her and her eyes locked onto his. The intensity was almost unnerving. There is something about staring into another's eyes during sex, a baring of the soul that surpasses anything else. Mulder was afraid to go there, but he went anyway, trying to convey with his eyes what his body was already telling her. Never being ones for needless conversation, they made love relatively quietly, communicating with their bodies rather than words. Inevitably the rhythm increased, faster and faster until Mulder knew it was just a matter of seconds before he plunged over the edge into oblivion. "Scully..." he croaked. "Almost, Mulder," she told him, her head suddenly jerking back in a rictus of ecstasy. "God...almost..." And then it was happening again, her convulsing beneath him, and her muscles clamped around his cock until he spilled over himself, body beyond his control, gushing into her as she milked him dry. "Scull...Sc..." he gasped, unable to even form the word. She whispered his name over and over and over in an orgasm-induced mantra. He eased down on top of her, spent, his mouth hanging open as he tried to recover. Her chest heaved beneath him as she took in deep, ragged breaths. He closed his hand over her breast and tried to get his voice to work, then realized he had no idea what to say. Scully, as always, saved him. "If this is a dream, don't wake me, okay?" she said, her voice barely above a whisper. He shifted on the couch so that they were almost side by side, then placed his hand on her hip, tracing the curve of it. "You got a deal." He kissed her on her temple, ear, neck. She smelled of perfume and sweat. She reached up to smooth his hair tenderly, then ran her hand down his chest, slowly, thoroughly, as if committing the feel of it to memory. He watched her, feeling strangely turned on by the possessive quality of her wanderings. "Do I pass inspection, Dr. Scully?" he asked. "Clean bill of health," she said glibly. He kissed her then, deeply, his arms tightening around her as her body responded to his once more, arching against him, warm, ready. When they finally parted, he whispered into her mouth. "Now what?" There was a silence that went on for almost too long, until she let out a sigh tinged with uncertainty. "I don't know, Mulder," she said. "I wish I did. Do we have to decide right now? Can't we just have tonight? If that's not enough --" He cut her off with another kiss, not wanting her to finish the sentence. "It's okay," he said when they came up for air. "Tonight is good. Tonight is more than I ever hoped for," he said with unusual candor. "It may have to..." She trailed off. He knew what lay at the end of her unfinished sentence; knew she didn't want to complete the thought as much as he didn't want to hear it. So instead, he kissed her, again. Kissed her and let his body do the talking, and hoped that it wouldn't be for the last time. End.