See Part 1 for disclaimer


"EXPERIMENT GONE WRONG" by DYNOJET


PART 4 of 4


Outside Mulder's Apartment
2:10 p.m.

     Mulder sat in the car, watching the seconds tick off on his watch. 
He had never gone for his run.  He had trotted away from his apartment
building for only half a block, when he was overcome by a sudden panic
attack.  There was this inexplicable fear of being all alone.  It didn't
matter that there were dozens of other people out and about, he felt as
though he existed on a totally uninhabited planet.  Dripping in nervous
sweat, he turned around and went back the way he came. 

     He couldn't go back into the apartment yet.  Scully was still
watching the tape.  Scully was watching him being turned into a mindless
guinea pig.  He hoped to god that she would keep her word and not go
beyond the point he'd warned her about.  If she rewound, she'd see him
naked, see him use the toilet and wipe his butt while quoting passages
from Macbeth.  Embarrassing, to say the least, but he could probably
handle the ridicule if she decided to razz him about it.

     If she allowed the tape to proceed past 47, she would see a different
side of him.  The frustration at what was happening to him, manifesting
itself in a wild outburst of profanity, ripping off his attempt at
clothing, suggesting that his audience come and suck him off, then trying
to piss on the camera.  After fifteen minutes of frantic raving, he
dropped to the floor, exhausted and cried himself to sleep, but not before
cursing his partner for not coming to get him out of this hellhole.

     Yeah, that would have been a fine image for Scully to have of her
coworker.  Of course, she would understand his surrender to the baser
instincts, and she would continue to respect him, regardless.  But he
wasn't so sure he could handle her seeing him two straws away from
becoming a basket weaver, and blaming her for not coming to his rescue.

     Just as he had a spare key to her home, he had one to her car as
well.  He got in on the passenger side and waited.  At the precise time
she should have finished viewing the section of tape he had recommended,
Mulder looked up at his window.  She stood there, her eyes moist with
tears.  She tried to smile upon seeing him waiting in the car, but the
corners of her lips had trouble curving upwards..  She remained in front
of the window for a moment, waiting to see what actions he would take.  He
looked down at his legs and became utterly fascinated with the balls of
lint on his sweatpants.

     Scully came down the stairs of his apartment building five minutes
later.  She brought with her, his carry-all and one of his suits still in
a dry-cleaning bag.  She opened the driver's side door, tossed his hastily
packed bag onto the backseat and hung the suit up on the valet hook behind
her seat. When she got into the car, Mulder glanced at his personal
belongings in the back, and then to Scully with a question in his eyes.

     "I just don't think you should stay there alone right now."

     He nodded in agreement, then went back to his lint picking.  It
bothered Scully to see him so resigned.  She could only imagine what he
was going through right now.  She was sure that he had been up all night
watching the tape over and over again.  It had undoubtedly dredged up some
painful memories and had left him feeling more vulnerable than he had been
previously.

     Mulder jumped noticeably at the sound of a cellular phone ringing. 
Scully picked it up quickly and answered.  "Hello...?  Hi, Mom....  No,
I'm sorry, we won't be able to make it today.  Something's come up.... 
Maybe tomorrow.  I'll let you know....  Bye."

    
     It sounded like the whimper of a small child.  His chin was on his
chest and his right hand covered his face as Mulder lost the battle
against an onslaught of tears.  Scully quickly put away the phone, and
moved to embrace him.  At first, he fought weakly against her attempt at
comforting him, but she refused to let him suffer alone.  Smoothing his
hair down and patting his back, she rocked him gently.  "I'm so sorry,
Mulder," she cooed.  "God, I'm so sorry.... They had no right to do that
to you."

     "I don't remember them being there, Scully," Mulder sniffled. 
"How... how can I not remember...?  What the hell did they to me that I
can't remember any of it?"

     "I don't know, Mulder.  I don't know."  She rocked him for a few
moments longer until he began quieting.  She pulled out a couple facial
tissues from a packet in her glove compartment and placed them in his hand.

     Mulder sat up straight, wiped the dampness from his face, than blew
his nose.  His face burned with embarrassment at having blubbered so
shamefully in his partner's presence.  Though she was now sitting back in
her seat, her right hand was still petting the nape of his neck.

     "I'm sorry," he apologized for the tearful outburst.

     "No.  Don't be....  What else is on the tape?  What was it you didn't
want me to see?"

     He shook his head slightly in answering.  "Just me being an asshole
mostly.  I didn't want you to see me like that."

     "Well, it wouldn't exactly be the first time I've seen you be an
asshole, Mulder."  She said that with a smile, bringing forth a mild
snicker to replace the sniffling of her partner.  She gave his hair one
good ruffling before withdrawing her hand from him completely.

     "I uh... I was up all night watching that.  I watched it over and
over.  And I tried... I really tried.  But I just can't remember anyone
else coming in.  I didn't even dream about anybody else being there.  It's
just like... back at Ellens Air Base.  All I remember, is going through the
hole in the fence that those kids showed me, and the next thing I know, you
had a gun on that reporter and you were yelling at me to get in the
car....  I saw something while I was there, Scully.  I saw something
important.  I found out the truth... but they made me not remember what it
was."

     "These are the same people, Mulder.  They wanted to make sure you
still don't remember, that you never remember them or what you learned
that night."

     "But I've got something to work with this time.  I've got proof."  He
looked back at his apartment building, nearly in a panic.  "The video!"

     "Is here," Scully calmed him instantly with those words.  "I packed
it in your bag."

     He sighed in relief.  "Then we have them.  And I can go to Dr.
Nettles," he added, charged with enthusiasm.  "I can have her put me under
hypnosis and see if she can help me bring those missing memories to
surface.  Maybe I'll be able to identify the faces and even recall the
kind of procedure they used on me.  But even if I don't remember
everything, we've still got a pretty good idea where to find them and --"

     "And do what?"

     "What do you mean; do what?  Expose them!  Bring them to justice."

     "Mulder, this is the military government we're talking about."

     "So?  Are you saying they're immune to our justice system?"

     "I'm saying that these people are powerful, cunning and ruthless, and
they get away with murder."

     "So what are saying, Scully?  Are you saying we should do nothing? 
We should continue letting them get away with unsanctioned experiments on
the general public?  We should just sit back and let them erase bits of
peoples' lives, screw with their minds and make them terrified of being
alone?"

     He said more than he meant to.  He definitely got Scully's attention
with that last comment.  He had to look away when her eyes bored through
him with a pained helplessness.  There was a brief thought of getting out
of the car and slamming the door behind him.  But that would leave him out
there and all alone.

     "I'm not blind, Mulder," Scully spoke softy.  "I know it's hard for
you now.  But things will get better.  Just give it time.  But, in the
meanwhile, I'd like for you to do something for me.  I've never asked you
to do this before, but I'm asking now."  She could tell he was listening,
though his eyes were focused elsewhere.  "I want you to promise me that
you won't pursue this case any further."

     He looked at her in disbelief.  "What?"

     "I want you to promise me that you won't go running off to Idaho,
trying to bully your way onto that air base and accusing the government of
mind control experiments."

     "But, Scully --"

     "Mulder, I'm afraid for you!  I watched you on that video tape and
all I could think of were those two missing pilots back in Idaho we went
to investigate.  When the first one mysteriously showed back up, all he
could do was sit and pluck out his own hair and make fishing lures all day
long.  Then the other one comes back home and his own wife doesn't even
recognize him anymore because so much of his mind has been wiped
away....  I don't want that to happen to you, Mulder.  But they know where
you are and they know how to get to you whenever they want.  They let you
go this time because they felt you weren't a threat.  Don't give them a
reason to do you any more damage."

     "Scully... I understand you're concerned, but I can't just turn my
back and walk away from this.  We have the tape.  This time we have proof."

     "For how long?  They always give us something we think we can win
with, but then they always snatch it away.  God, Mulder...talking about
losing the war,  we can't even win a skirmish!  I don't like seeing them
getting away with it any more than you do, but they will.  And I just
don't want... I don't want to see you.... Please, just promise me you
won't do anything to make them come after you again."

     "Scully, I didn't do anything *this* time, and they came."

     "Mulder, please!" she raised her voice to emphasize how strongly she
felt about the issue.  "Promise me that you won't try to go after them."

     A promise such as that was harder to make than it was to keep, and he
knew that if he made it to her, he would have no choice but to keep it. 
But he took a moment and thought about everything else she had said.  She
was right.  From the start, they had fought battles they couldn't win and
each had sustained substantial casualties along the way.  He also
considered the results of not making her the promise, and knew
instinctively that their relationship would be in jeopardy.  In his state
of mind now, he couldn't afford to be without her.

     Her right hand lay on the armrest between them.  His left hand
covered hers.  After a moment, he nodded silently, followed by a barely
audible, "Okay."

     Scully released the breath she'd been holding in while awaiting his
response.  "Thank you," she whispered.

**********


Three Weeks Later
FBI Headquarters, Dr. Nettles' Office
11:45 a.m.


     Mulder stood in front of the window in Dr. Nettles' office and spoke
with his back to the doctor.  "Don't bother penciling me in on your
calendar for next week.  This will be our last session," he told her.  He
had been seeing her voluntarily twice weekly for the past three weeks.

     Dr. Nettles looked up from her notepad as she sat in a chair on the
other side of the room.  "Have we completed our journey already?" she
asked while removing her glasses.

     "I've gone as far as I care to with you."  Mulder turned to face
her.  "Don't get me wrong.  You've been a great help.  You've helped me
deal with my recently developed phobia and I'm feeling more secure and in
control of my life.  I feel ready to move on now."

     "I'll admit, you have come a long way in a relatively short time. 
But what about those memories you told me you wanted to capture?  Is what
happened to you during your abduction no longer important to you?"

     "Yes, it is very important to me.  But there are other considerations
that I find are more significant....  Besides, what I don't know can't hurt
me, right?"

     Mulder thanked the doctor with a smile and a handshake, then left her
office for the very last time.  As he stepped out into the hallway, he
nearly ran into a white-haired, black-suited gentleman passing by.  Mulder
picked up a newspaper the man had been carrying and dropped with their near
collision.

     "Excuse me," said Mulder as he handed the man back his paper.

     The man with white hair smiled and nodded politely.  Mulder went on
his way without a second thought.  The man watched the tall agent casually
as he boarded an elevator going down.  The man then entered the side door
of Dr. Nettles' office.

     "So how did it go?" asked the white-haired man as he settled down on
the doctor's couch.

     "This was his last session,"  Dr. Nettles responded flatly.

     "Oh?"

     "His decision, not mine."

     "No hypnotherapy?"

     "No.  I believe that he really wanted to,  but I have a feeling his
partner may have talked him out of it."

     "Ah, yes, beauty *can* be persuasive.  But how unfortunate.  I'm
afraid we're still saddled with some unanswered questions.  Can the
subject be hypnotized into remembering?  Are the memories still there,
trapped underneath his subconscious?  The experiment's not complete
without those answers....  Oh dear....  A scientist's work is never done."


THE END

Really! : ]