This original story was written by me based on the characters and
situations from the X-Files created by Chris Carter, Ten Thirteen
Productions and Fox Broadcasting Inc. No infringement of copyright is
intended. 

Just a little short to think about on April first and I call it...
April's Fool by Unicorn83

Friday, March 30, 1995.

     Special Agent Fox Mulder awoke bright and early March 30th.  He had
spent the better part of a week thinking about how he was going to
"surprise" his partner, Agent Dana Scully, on April Fools day.  It had
taken him quite a while to think of a scheme so devious even she wouldn't
expect it. He had mulled through the usual April Fool's topics like prank
phone calls or pepper gum but Dana deserved better. Much better. Not only
that, but he also had to top last year's prank, when he had called her down
to the office early in the A.M. and then locked her in until the morning
shift arrived to let her out.  Boy was she mad.  But of course she was
expecting him to do SOMETHING, but would no doubt be surprised when she
found out what. He had given thought to using the fabled Lake Superior
monster, or the mysterious Great Lakes triangle but he was proud that he
didn't have to resort to using stories which they might just as well
investigate someday.  Nope, he came up with this one all on his own and he
couldn't wait to spring it.

Saturday, April 1, 1995.

     Mulder had agreed in advance to have breakfast with Scully around 10am
so they could discuss the obvious implications their current case was
having, unfortunately, it was already after 10am and Scully hadn't shown. 
*She's not usually late and even then she'd call*  Mulder grew concerned
about Scully's unusually late arrival, reliving the vivid flashbacks of her
abduction, but then resolved himself to paging her and calling her cellular
phone before he got any worse.  Scully appeared 10 minutes later.
     "Don't say it...not a word." whispered a disheveled Scully wagged an
accusing finger in Mulder's general direction.  
     "Scully...are you...hung over?" Mulder was shocked as he took a good
look at his tired partner wearing dark glasses, no makeup, hair in a
ponytail and dressed in sweats on a  gloriously clear Saturday morning. The
kind of morning she usually has cleaned her entire apartment or washed her
car before 9am. He knew the look well, it was the kind of look he always
had most Saturday's when they were scheduled off-duty.
     "No Mulder, I always look like this on Saturday mornings...it's become
a habit. I figured after seeing you like this so often, I'd try it myself."
     "I think I like the other look better." Mulder smiled congenially at
Scully's frown. 
     "Does that mean you don't want breakfast?" Scully swallowed slowly
with an obvious effort. 
     "No, coffee...just coffee." Mulder was at a loss for words. He
couldn't very well spring an April Fool's trap on her like this but by
tomorrow he knew he'd miss his chance. *Oh well, there's always next year*
     Scully had spent the evening with a friend from the academy who was
recently transferred to the Baltimore office, she called her "Maggie May". 
Mulder smiled and asked if she was named after the Rod Stewart song but
Scully only looked confused at his reference. It seemed Maggie liked to
drink and dance and subsequently dragged Scully "bar-hopping" through
various parts of Maryland. *Wish I could've seen that* But it appeared
they'd had a good time, until today. *Ah well, payback's a bitch*
     After spending the morning with Mulder reliving her past night's
exploits the two agreed to return to the office to catch up on somelight
paperwork and then spend the weekend away from work.  It seemed like a good
idea at the time, that is, until Mulder brought up the topic of men.
     "So...while you two were out cruising the bars, did you meet anyone
interesting?" Scully peered over her Ray Ban's at Mulder's smirk. 
     "No why, did you want me to get you a few numbers?"  Mulder shot a
sideways glance in Scully's direction but she didn't appear amused by his
remark.
     "Hey Dana, I was just kidding." Mulder reached across the seat to
touch Scully's arm reassuringly but she flinched away and out of his reach.
     "Mulder, you know my private life is none of your business...if I
wanted you to know about it I'd tell you!" 
     "Okay, okay...take it easy."  
     "And that's another thing...where in the hell do you get off telling
ME to take it easy?  If it wasn't for me your ass would've been out of the
bureau long ago!" Mulder was shocked by her outburst, he didn't know what
to say, but just then they were pulling into the underground parking garage
at the FBI headquarters so he figured discretion was the better part of
valor.
     The silence in their tiny cramped basement office was deafening, the
tension so thick it could be cut with a plastic butter knife.  Mulder knew
she was mad but this time he had nothing to say.  No quick remarks or
sarcastic comebacks were being traded, she was beyond angry, she was
fuming. The worst of all possible things was when Mulder pulled out his bag
of sunflower seeds. The look on Scully's face pretty much said it all. 
     "Don't eat those." She said with conviction in a tone almost so silent
you had to strain moved swiftly around the desk and snatched the bag from
Mulder's grip, but then he pretty much let her have the bag. *Why
struggle?* Then Scully turned the bag upside down onto Mulder's head, the
seeds spilling off him and all over the desk and the floor. 
     "WHOA SCULLY...What the hell are you doing?"  
     "Payback's a bitch ain't it Mulder? I've listened to you crunch away
on those things for a year and I HATE THE SOUND!!" She was breathless with
fury and Mulder, still seated, just remained calm and in control.  *One of
us has to stay sane* 
     "Scully, if you didn't like it, why didn't you say something earlier?"
     "Because I was being nice...I was compromising, unlike certain other
partners I know!"
       "Now what's THAT suppossed to mean?"  Now Mulder was getting
offended.  
     "I hate the way the door to OUR office only has YOUR name on it! I
hate the way that one piece of hair sticks up on your forehead and I hate
the fact that I've been referred to as MRS. SPOOKY...it's not fair, none of
it."  *When had she turned into a princess, while I wasn't looking?* 
     "SO, what am I supposed to do about it? I can stop eating the seeds in
your presence, I can order another nameplate and I can fix my hair...will
that make you feel better?"  
     "NO!" she exploded back at him.  
     "So what are YOU going to do about it then?" 
     "I quit." 
     "WHAT?" Mulder towered over Dana, hovering.  
     "I said I quit, I talked it over with Maggie and she agrees...I'm
going to ask Skinner for a transfer to another department!" 
     "Scully you can't be serious! You haven't seen this Maggie in two
years and you're going to listen to her?!" Now it was Mulder's turn to fume
around the room, stomping and cursing, "I can't believe this...we have an
argument over a few little things and you're going to throw it all away?
Just because someone else told you to..." Just then Scully's phone rang and
she rushed to her desk to answer it,
     "Mulder, it's for you." 
     "What?" he exploded "I don't want to talk on the phone now...we're
right in the middle of something and..." 
     "Mulder, it's important."  Mulder snatched the phone from Scully's
grip, 
     "Hello?" 
     "Hello Mulder..." it was Scully's mom on the other end.  Margaret
Scully, the voice of  reason, maybe with a little help from her he could
salvage the partnership. "Mulder...I have only one thing to say to
you...April Fool's" and Mulder turned back to look at Dana who was smiling
wickedly behind him. 
     "Payback's a bitch ain't it?"

The End.