Title: Float Away Author: M (Starbuk42@aol.com) Rating: G Category: VA Spoilers: None. Summary: The propect of being free. (Scully, First Person) Archive: Gossamer, yes. Anywhere else, ask me first. I'll let you. Disclaimer: Mulder, Scully and any other characters mentioned from the show belong to CC, 1013 Productions, and Fox. They are used without permission. This is for entertainment, not profit. Thanks: Again, to Sue for her wonderful opinions and encouragement. You're too kind to me. In fact, you're so kind that I almost considered putting "by Suzanne Schramm" up there, just to say thanks. Well, *almost.* Feedback: Is more than graciously accepted. I will also accept constructive criticism. And if you just want to tell me you read it, I'd like that too. E-mail to Starbuk42@aol.com Notes: None. If you'd like to read more of my fanfic, please visit my website: http://members.aol.com/Starbuk42/ Enjoy! Float Away by M _________________________________ Do you know I couldn't stay free? - Smashing Pumpkins "Rocket" _________________________________ What if I could float away? Float far away... What if I became so light that I could rise up above the trees and mountains and rivers and oceans? What if the clouds sat beside me, and the birds flew gracefully below my feet? What if all my worries and burdens and obligations were suddenly gone? What if nothing mattered? What if I didn't have to care? What if the chain that bound me to all of this - to him - was suddenly broken? What if I let go? What if I were free? Free from everyone around me, free from my own self. Free. What if I could leave the pain and sorrow and slip away? What if nothing more could be taken from me? What if no more harm would come to me? What if I forgot it all? But what if leaving it all behind meant throwing everything away? Everything I worked so hard to earn. Everything I lost so much to gain. Everything that at once seemed so clear, that at once seemed so right. Everything I know in my heart to be true. What if I lost the one person I can't imagine being without? What if, in losing him, I somehow lost sight of myself? And what if, in floating away, I suddenly realized that I need to be grounded, but that I could never return to the way things were before? What if I found I never really wanted to change? What if the freedom that seemed a blessing turned out to be a curse? What if I realized that I couldn't allow any of that to happen? But that, in seeing this, I was content with what I had. Somehow, in wanting to leave, I found my own peace. I suddenly understood. I accepted that I could not be free. I decided that. Decided that I cannot... I need not. I will not. I will not let it all go. I will not float away. The End Questions, comments, etc - please send to Starbuk42@aol.com. Thanks for reading!