Title: Fade
Author: M (Starbuk42@aol.com)
Rating: G
Category: VA
Spoilers: None. But if you wanted some sort of time frame on this,
I would say it occurs somewhere around the events of The Red and
the Black. It kinda makes sense there, although I'm sure there are
other places it would work that I'm not thinking of. Sue? (I know
you're good at this.<g>)
Summary: Brightness devoured by all that surrounds and the faded
man who is left, OR Mulder's thoughts during a drug-induced haze.
(Mulder, First Person)
Archive: Gossamer, yes. Anywhere else, ask me first. I'll let you.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Also improvised on lines from "Crestfallen"
and "Sweet Sweet." Both are by the Smashing Pumpkins.
Thanks: To Suzanne Schramm for helping me understand my own
piece. What would I do without you, Sue?
Notes: This is a result of too much Smashing Pumpkins, though I
suppose you can never have *too* much. <g>
My website:
http://members.aol.com/Starbuk42/
Enjoy!


Fade by M


Quiet.

Silence surrounds me like a heavy blanket meant to cloud my
views and cloud my dreams. It blinds my thoughts and tired eyes.

Like a hand over my face, shading me from a world gone mad; a
world I'm not meant to see.

Holding me back though I choose to go on.

My life is not my own.

I lost it long ago.

Long, long ago, when all I saw were smiles and bright, bright
gleaming lights that never cease.

Now all is dark, and the light from the small twinkling stars is dim
and faded.

Gray.

Gray like unknown, like unseen.

Gray like uncaring.

Gray like forgotten.

Forgotten beauty and vibrant, shimmering colors.

Vibrant and shimmering like her once bright eyes.

Eyes that saw, eyes that knew, eyes that healed my soul.

Her eyes are deep.

Deep deep deep.

Deep and dark as the sea.

And I drown. I drown in their depths. I drown in her.

Waters lap over my head.

Warm waters.

Warm warm warm.

Warm like her heart.

Her heart that reaches out to mine. Her heart that captures me.

And then it is cool.

Cool cool cool.

Cool like her hands on my face. Cool like her lips against my
forehead.

And her smile. Her sweet smile.

Sweet sweet sweet.

Sweet like the agony I surrender to. Sweet like her embrace.

Sweet like the peace I long to obtain.

The silent peacefulness I have always known yet never truly felt.
The dimness that describes me oh so well.

The dimness that consumed her.

The dimness that consumed us both.

And I want to sleep. I want to fade.

Fade fade fade.

And I want to forget. I want to lose myself.

Lose myself in all that she is.

I want to fade into her.

I want to fade away.

The End