"Galaxy Defenders" 6/24/97 written, 4/11/98 submitted Eisoj5@aol.com Summary: Mulder&Scully discover a terrifying secret... Disclaimer: If they WERE mine, hypothetically, would I need to write a disclaimer saying they weren't? No one belongs to me. Mulder, Scully, and the rest of the borrowed XF crew belong to Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, and the actors who take on the afore-mentioned characters. "Men In Black"(the song&the movie) belong to Columbia Pictures, Columbia Records, and probably a little bit to Will Smith as well. MTV belongs to....um...I don't know. Just not to me. Warning: If you haven't seen the "Men In Black" music video this probably won't make any sense to you whatsoever. Sorry. Suffice it to say it consists of well-dressed, um, you know, Men In Black. (Women too.) Dancing. And singing. Oh yes, and a couple of aliens and scenes from the movie. But that part doesn't matter. "Galaxy Defenders" 2:00 AM Mulder's apartment Mulder struggled awake, trying vainly to remember just what it was that was waking him. He opened one eye cautiously, and saw his TV, sideways. It was on. Mulder decided that it would stay that way, and fell asleep again. "Here come the men in black..." He snapped awake, gazing frantically around his darkened apartment. Men in black? Where? Mulder glanced at the TV screen, and jumped. Well, jumped as well as a person positioned horizontally can jump. Staring mesmerizedly at the picture, he reached for the phone. Scully's apartment Riiing. Riiiiiing. Riing. "Mulder, where are you and how much is bail?" Scully murmured sleepily into the phone. "Very funny, Scully. Do you have cable?" She blinked sleepily, and glanced at the clock. "It's 2:00. Why are you asking me if I have cable?" "Do you?" He sounded agitated, and she began to get alarmed. "Mulder, what's wrong?" "Turn on MTV," he replied. "Tell me if I'm seeing things." His partner reached for the remote, too tired to ask questions. "Oh, my God." "Galaxy defenders..." a raspy-voiced Krycek sang, as the Cigarette-Smoking Man led a small crowd of other men in a series of dance steps. "They won't let you remember..." "Slide with me, just slide with me, take a walk with me, just walk with me," the Well-Manicured Man chanted, putting on a pair of Ray-Bans while dancing beside the alien bounty hunter. "We have to get this on tape," Mulder said. "Who would believe us?" Scully asked him. "How do you know we're not just dreaming?" "Trust me, we're not dreaming. I'll call Skinner." Click. "Damnit, Mulder..." "That's the men in, that's the men in..." "Skinnnner." "Sir, I hate to disturb you, but..." Mulder began tentatively. "But wwhuutt?" his superior questioned. "Could you turn on MTV?" "Agent Mulder, are you aware of the time?" "Yes, sir. Now could you please?" He heard the sound of footsteps, angry muttering, and finally the click of the remote. "Holy shit!" "Sir?" "Get on with your life, forget the Roswell crap..." On Mulder's three-way calling, the trio of confused Fibbies were babbling incoherently. "Is anyone taping this?" "Believe me, it's for your own protection," a reincarnated Luis Cardinal said. "Should we call the station?" "I don't know the number." As they neared the end of the video, the small army of MiB/Consortium/Syndicate people chased after a blurred figure, who jumped in a car and became Marita Covarrubias. Then the bounty hunter with the strange jaw configuration turned, put on his RayBans, muttered "Sorry," and pulled the stiletto/PLAM/ice-pick thingy. Then all was darkness. 6:35 Mulder's apartment The sunlight streamed in through the agent's window, waking him. He blinked sleepily at the TV, which was now displaying a trio of long-legged, bikini-clad blondes on a beach. Mulder wondered vaguely if it had been on all night, then reached over to turn it off. As he did so, the new video for Columbia Pictures' "Men In Black" came on. He smiled tolerantly, then switched it off and got up. The End. Questions? Comments? Include UPC symbol on box top when mailing to Eisoj5@aol.com.