TITLE: D-A-N-A AUTHOR: Susan Littlejohn EMail: SusanLittlejohn@netscape.net RATING: PG-13 CATEGORY: MSR/VHA KEYWORDS: Scully/Mulder Romance SPOILERS: Never Again, The Blessing Way, Seinfeld, Close Encounters of the Third Kind SUMMARY: Scully Makes A Decision. DISCLAIMER: F. Mulder, D. Scully, E. Jerse and other X-Files treatments and references are the EXCLUSIVE PROPERTY of 10-13 Productions. - - - - - - - - - - - - - D-A-N-A SCULLY: [Mutters into her cell phone] ...Come on, Mulder, where are you? PICK UP! MULDER: Hello... SCULLY: [Sighs in relief] Mulder, it's me. I've been trying to reach you. I've left messages upon mess- MULDER: Oh, uh...hi, Scully...[Closes his eyes, picturing her with an angry face] SCULLY: [Brings her car to a complete stop as the school bus before her discharges several children near a playground] Where have you been? MULDER: [Sits up on his couch, grabs for the remote, knocking the large, empty Fritos bag and Pepsi can to the floor. Switches off his set] (...Time I faced the music...) At home...mostly. SCULLY: [Frowns at her brooding reflection in the rearview mirror, starts up again as the bus gets rolling] Home? All this time? I thought maybe you were doing some extra-curricular X-Files legwork on your own. I've been trying to reach you for two whole weeks since the undercover assignment ended. Have you been ill? MULDER: [Flops back against the couch] (...Terminal...) Not 'you'll need a doctor's note sick,' Doc, but I have been feelin' outta sorts. A.D. Perpetual Royal Pain In The Butt givin' ya flack? Raggin' me to the bone? SCULLY: I've covered for you as I usually do, if that's what you mean. MULDER: [Grins, despite his glum mood] That's my girl. SCULLY: [Presses her lips together as she continues heading for his side of town] Well, I started believing I was until this disappearing act, Mulder. Why have you stayed away? [She blinks several times, as a choking sensation overwhelms her] MULDER: [Straightens up on the couch again, wanting to say a million witty, yet meaningful things, but unable to dredge up a single one this time] ...Look, Scully...about what nearly happened at the rest stop...in the van...after...I'm REALLY sorr- SCULLY: [Bites her lip, rolls her misting eyes, pushing the dark remembrance back where it belonged; beyond the grasp of her memory] (...He sounds awful...the way I felt before I made up my mind...) I'm on my way over. I'll bring dinner. Any preferences? MULDER: --Nah...whatever you bring'll be fine. But I haveta- SCULLY: I'll see you soon...we'll talk... [Before ending the call, she advises] Don't flake out on me, Mulder. If you don't answer the door this time, I'll camp out in your hallway until you're forced to emerge. You copy that? MULDER: [Nods] Copied loud an' clear. I won't. Don't take too long. I've missed seeing you...sorry... SCULLY: (...I'm taking that as a healthy sign...) Missed you too. See you... [In the half hour's time it took for him to hear her determined-sounding footfalls in the hallway, he'd made a feeble attempt to tidy up his unkempt apartment. Unfortunately, the messiness was beyond his control to reform in so short a time frame. He hoped her understanding would be sweeping] SCULLY: [Following her several light raps on his door] Mulder, Mulder. (...No matter how this turns out, I have to make him realize I want more now...much more than being groped in the dark...) I'm not fooling, Muld- MULDER: [His door snaps wide open. Looking sheepish, his eyes come alive at the lovely sight of her] Sorry. I was in the can. Do I still have a job? They haven't assigned you to someone else? -HERE- lemme help you with those. Hey! You got Giacomo's! SCULLY: [Handing off the decorative tricolor red, white and green restaurant food bags, she nods, looking upbeat again] I hope the Spumoni- MULDER: [Explodes] SPUMONI!! Yo, Scully, vanilla, chocolate, strawberry and PISTACHIO? SCULLY: [Follows him into his kitchen, removes the dessert, relieved it's largely still intact. Quickly, she pops it in the freezer] Uh huh. Feel good food... MULDER: [Inspects the rest of the bags' yummy contents, all smiles] Linguini an' sausages...a sensible-sized bottle of Chianti...garlic bread...a humongous house salad... Scul-leee! You know what I like! (...I've gotta be dreamin'...she's not even scowling...must be a Pepsi-Fritos induced hallucination...) [Lightly slaps his face a few times] SCULLY: [Shuts the freezer door, sighs inaudibly] At least when it comes to food... MULDER: You figure I need some feel good? Huh? SCULLY: [She gets two plates, walks up to him takes the containers, quickly prepares the food] I think we both do. Why are you hiding out? MULDER: You think I'm hidin' out? SCULLY: Take these please. [Hands him the heaping plates] Go. Sit. I'll grab the utensils, the glasses and wine. MULDER: Sure thing. [Once seated, in the living room,he repeats] I'm hidin' out? Is that what you think, Scully? SCULLY: [Dropping down next to him, she gives him a probing look] You're a no-show at work for two weeks...you don't return any of my calls...I came by a dozen or so times, you never answered. I lost your key, so I couldn't come in here to wait as usual. So, yeah ...you do a total blackout on me. What would you call it? MULDER: [Bores holes into the sausages with his saddening eyes] (...Nerdy, loser behavior...dearest Scully, please don't give up on me...I was bound to screw-up sooner or later...told you he'd show up once we started gettin' somethin' semi-serious on...the Mulder who doesn't know how to handle a good thing when he has it -who screws up every relationship he's ever had...the Mulder I swore I'd never be again... the Wonder Freak!...) I'd call it bein' sorry. I'm sorry. A sorry excuse for a partner, close friend...a wanna be lover... SCULLY: [Gulps some wine at the fall of that last, multi- faceted word] Let's eat first. Ok? Tricky stuff sometimes isn't that tricky on a full stomach. I haven't felt like eating all day. Too worried something terrible had happened to you. Worried I'd never see or hear from you again. I'm starved. MULDER: [Looks into her hypnotic eyes wistfully] You're an instinctively wise woman, Scully. Sorry for puttin' you through hell. I know this will sound so lame after what almost happened. [Takes her hand, squeezes it hard] I beg your forgiveness. There's no excuse for how I acted. I still love you like there's no tomorrow. If I lose you, there isn't one for me. Don't throw me away. Tell me what to do to make it right, 'cause I know we're not. Tell me what you want...whatever it is. SCULLY: I still love you too. It's why I'm here. Later... I'll tell you later. Now eat before everything gets cold... - - - - - - - - - - - - - [An hour after the food is gone, the dishes done, the wine nearly all drunk, Scully lounges tranquilly on the couch with eyes closed, as though dozing, but thinking how delicious the food was, and how much she'd missed him] MULDER: [Comes out of the bathroom, takes her in several appreciative moments before approaching. When he finally nears, he whispers] This was so nice of you, even though I don't deserve it, Scully...Scul...Dana? SCULLY: [Opens her eyes, looking sweet and dreamy. Smiles, liking what she sees] Thanks for shaving. [Touches his soft, smooth skin] There's the handsome face I know and love. MULDER: [Drops down beside her and waits for her to nestle into the nook under his arm reserved exclusively for her] How do I rate someone so perfect? 'Specially after offending you BIG TIME; wrecking our good thing. Showing up like this, like nothin's happened, nothin's changed, with my food favorites. Here with your caring and non-judgmental charm. You are PRIME. SCULLY: Ok, I'm ready to talk about what happened, Mulder. Now I'm ready to handle the subject. Now we're our old selves again. Relaxed with each other...the way we've always been. Really listening to what the other has to say. No weirdness between us. No more weirdness, Fox... MULDER: No more, Dana - I promise. Thank you for wanting to see me. I wouldn't have blamed you if you never wanted to see me again; if you got as far away from me as you possibly could. Like I once advised you to. [Nuzzles her aromatic hair] I got so outta control lying so close to you in that sleeping bag. I swear, Scully, it was an accident forgettin' to bring the other one. I didn't leave it behind on purpose to put you in the situation. Feeling your body pressed against mine, the way we were...I lost it; lost what we're about. I turned into pure libido at full throttle. You felt so good. I got so turned on...I know I scared you. After I almost forced you and I realized that that was what I was doing -forcing you- I scared myself. You're right...I have been hiding out. Hidin' from you and your hurt blue eyes, glistening in the moonlight. I couldn't face you. Too ashamed of myself; too disgusted. I've flirted mercilessly with you ever since they paired us up, I know. But I never meant anything demeaning by the stuff I said; just playin' around. Enjoying gettin' a rise outta ya every so often. On our return trip, I crossed way over the line. I wanted you like I've never wanted any woman before, right then and there; not caring what you were feeling...wanting, or needing. It was all about me. Screw the repercussions! SCULLY: Interesting turn of phrase... MULDER: [Hangs his head] No pun intended. I thought you were feeling the same way I was...thought you wanted me as much as I wanted you. Sorry for reading you so wrong... you did the right thing with your knee. SCULLY: [Places her hand on his knee and squeezes] Sorry about that. I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't know what else to do to make you stop. Sharing that sleeping bag with you wasn't the best idea I've ever had, I guess. No, wait...there was another not so great idea I once had, not so long ago. I know you remember; it nearly cost me everything. It might help you to know, Mulder, I almost stopped resisting at one point because you were getting to me. I've never felt myself getting totally crazy like that. Losing control so completely. I was flirting too boldly this time because it was fun. Then I panicked. I'm sorry for putting you through hell too. MULDER: [Kisses her forehead] Do not blame yourself for my animal instincts callin' the shots. If I hadn't been such a jerk at the time, you wouldn't have had to use the ol' virtue-protecting standby. SCULLY: [Feeling suddenly shy, eases away from him, gathers up his hands into hers] I know you think I made it with...Jerse. My helter-skelter interlude... MULDER: [Looks as though someone had just walked over his future grave] Jerse...why bring him up? What you did with him is none of my business. We're not married, Scully. You owe me nothing. Remember? SCULLY: [Ponders his face for a long time. Then, hangs her head down only a moment before raising it high] I didn't! I could never! I didn't tell you everything, and I owe you the whole truth; always that. I went back to his room...feeling disconnected. Feeling lost, yet found somehow that surreal night. He told me I was special and held me so tight, kissed me so hard...I thought he was trying to asphyxiate me, but I didn't want to pull away until suddenly all the warning bells went off in my head and I wished it was you kissing me like that, instead; not him. MULDER: [Covers her hand, which had returned to his knee, with his] Don't tell me anything more about it than you already have. It's not necessary. And you're givin' me chills. The only thing I care about is that you got outta that freaky scene alive. Jerse means NOTHING. SCULLY: Doesn't he? He's always been an invisible presence between us. Something to the tune of...Why HIM and not ME? We slept under the same roof, Mulder, but not in the same location. Having a one night stand wasn't the exchange for having some company on a night I needed you. That's the only reason I went with him. He reminded me of you in the uniquely incredible way you make me feel safe and protected. MULDER: [Pushes his fingers into his eyes and sighs] I...I've blown that. SCULLY: NO...NEVER! NOT POSSIBLE. MULDER: [Stares at her in total gratitude] You're one in several billion, Dana. SCULLY: Despite Jerse being delusional, he was decent. He asked to see my tatoo again. After I showed him, he said it was beautiful - not like his which was eating him alive. He hugged me, said I had soul-searching eyes and then he took the couch, leaving me the bed... MULDER: I don't haveta say this, but I will anyway. That was a big, big chance you took. He coulda went psycho and murdered you! SCULLY: When he found out I was a Fed, he wanted to. MULDER: I shoulda been there! SCULLY: You couldn't have been, and you know it. Your quest to find yourself was crucial. I just seem to have the knack for taking big chances. (...Like the one I must take tonight...) God was truly with me that night. I did an incredibly stupid thing. MULDER: You don't do stupid stuff, Scul. You got lonely. Bein' lonely isn't a crime. If it were, I'd have been sent up lotsa times. It's just a condition that doesn't haveta remain permanent. SCULLY: No...it doesn't. Does it? Look - [Hikes up her tailored dress shirt] no more tatoo. I had it removed. Snakes really aren't my style. It was an ugly thing. MULDER: I apologize again for bein' one in the Smokies, after the assignment ended. An assignment that really spelled out how easily I could lose you, at any moment - forever. GOD--I love you! You came over me so strong...your smell, your smallness, your softness. Your consummate beauty. I was primed to destroy everything beautiful that binds us. I had to know what you're like sexually, 'cause I might not ever get to, if something terrible rips you away. I wanted you to feel the power of my love. How deep and how strong it is. Instead, I got impatient. I was rough and selfish. This isn't an excuse, Scully, but it's what happened. I turned into every predatory 'wild thang' we've ever chased. I am soooo sorry... SCULLY: [Squeezes her lips together, feeling very self-conscious] One close encounter too many... [Then, surprising herself, gives him a riveting hug and whispers in his ear] God knows how much I love you. He also knows that I forgave you as soon as that sickened look came into your eyes when we got out of the van. Your pain was tangible. I reached out to you even then, but you shut me down. MULDER: I couldn't reach back. I was demoralized. I felt like a pig. Oh, Scul...I would love our relationship to get more intense, but if you're not ready...if you don't think it's the way to go, then we don't. Still friends? At least? SCULLY: [Snuggles into him again] Be serious; we're more than friends now, Mulder, and you know it. I want more, and it's obvious you do too. We both need so much more. Maybe I wasn't ready then, but I am now. You are a very passionate man. It's your passion that makes you so tantalizing. So Mulder. Maybe... and this is a BIG maybe...we need something more concrete, more defining than just the emphasis on erotic expression as the be-all-end-all. MULDER: [Sounding resigned, but philosophic] Yeah, being great friends is fine, Scully. Like Elaine and Jerry. 'Sides if the kinda sex I want with you did enter into the picture, I wouldn't be able to handle it. I'd wanna jump you everywhere. SCULLY: [Giggles, blushes and winks] Is that a promise? MULDER: Promise? What are you saying? SCULLY: I'm saying I want to feel you in every pore...one day... MULDER: Man, do I wanna believe THAT! SCULLY: Yes, believe it; I want you to. I do want you, Mulder. Very much. BUT- if I am going to do the, which I'm sure it will be, serious 'wild thing' with you, Fox, I'm going to be MARRIED to you when we're being wild. Very wild, but very married. MULDER: [Dumbfounded, he seems to 'zone out'. A dry swallow his only reply] SCULLY: [Raises and lowers her hand in front of his eyes a couple of times to bring him back to her again] Earth to Mulder. Have you left the planet for good? MULDER: No, Scul, I'm still with ya. Just tell me I'm hearing you right. You wanna be Mrs. Spooky Mulder? For REAL? Is that what you want? Partners who've exchanged vows? Who wear rings? Who go home with each other every night? SCULLY: That and so much more. But I can't say 'yes' unless you want me to be the partner you exchange vows with. Remember...you wanted to know what I want. I want you matrimonially; not just fleetingly. There is no man I'll ever love more, and who'll make me feel more complete than you. MULDER: Wow, Scully, married... [The word had a life of its own as its echo faded within the confines of his suddenly stuffy apartment] You believe in it, huh, as we careen into the 21st century... SCULLY: (...You've asked me to believe in so much over our years together...is marriage your wellspring of disbelief...) Despite what I may have led you to believe, beneath this new-age hard woman exterior beats the savage, yet tender heart of an old-style Irish Catholic girl. I'm not saying I'm a virgin...exactly, well maybe I am for the most part...if you don't count...uh...I've...uhumm... I've never really gone all, all the way. Wow! That sounds so high school. I mean I've always tried to be a good girl. It's what I come from. Although, I have met some very interesting men... MULDER: [Clears his throat] Scully, this isn't a confessional; I sure ain't a priest. SCULLY: The point is, I've made mistakes with the men I've met. At this phase of my life, I want to stop making mistakes and start being happy. I believe you are the only man who can give me the kind of happiness I need; the one man who will forgive my mistakes and get me to laugh them off. You make me happy without even trying. I want the third finger, left hand ringed hubby; that must be you, the two point some odd kids; if I can have them at all, the partially-remembered anniversaries. I believe what I feel God likes to see even though most couples forego the vows and fling themselves into a bed, or whatever...husband and wife 'til death do us part...doing each other every night of the week. Uh oh, hope that didn't sound like a sermon... MULDER: [Grins broadly] Ooooh...not the conventional kind; I like your X-rated version. You keep talkin' like that, an' I won't be responsible for my actions - again. Only this time, I'll knee myself as soon as you give me the high sign. [Then, growing deadpan serious, he encircles his arms around her waist and cinches] Would you really want me to do you every night of the week, Danee? SCULLY: Careful, Mulder, don't hurt yourself... MULDER: Lemme think about it? Marriage I mean. SCULLY: [Clearly disappointed] Sure...sure, if you need more ti- MULDER: Ok, yeah! If you wanna do the serious walk on the wild side with me, Scully, I say yes! I'll do the 'M' word with ya. You are the only woman I'd ever consider doin' it with, not involving a frontal lobotomy. SCULLY: Thank you, Mulder...I think. MULDER: Hey- you know what I mean. I'm certifiably nuts about ya! I'd be lying if I said I haven't toyed with the idea of asking you to marry me. You beat me to the punch. You've got ball...uh...well not to get crude, since I've been there an' done that...you know you've got 'em. Who knows...maybe if you work on me long enough, I'll even get into the religious baggage with ya too. SCULLY: It's not baggage; it's belief. You know... believe, as in I want to. MULDER: I do. I believe in you. You're my religion, Scully. I worship you. Truly. Your love is my tower of faith. If you can come into my topsy-turvy life, stand me on my head, wine and dine me, bare your midrift to me and ask for my hand in marriage despite what I tried to do...I'll never forsake you. Never compromise your faith in me again. I'd sooner slit my throat. SCULLY: I'd much rather kiss your throat instead, Mulder. Thank you, Fox. Thanks so much... you had me worried for a moment. MULDER: Only a moment? SCULLY: [Laughs and pinches him in the ribs] Stop being brutal. Today, I thought: 'If I ever see or hear from him again, and I get the chance, and have the guts to ask him to marry me, he'll probably say..."We're good together, Scully, but no can do marriage, Dana. Not even for you." MULDER: [Cinching her tighter] Saying 'no' to you, Dana, is not so humanly possible for me anymore. Dana; D-A-N-A...'D' doin'...'A' anything... 'N' necessary...'A' anytime, anywhere, anyplace to keep you by my side. That's a promise. You are the best thing ever in my life. SCULLY: I feel the same way about you. So we're even. MULDER: Even? You're too kind, Scully. You've always been light years ahead! Let's say we tie our knot two weeks from this Sunday. SCULLY: Two weeks... MULDER: Not enough time to get it all arranged? SCULLY: I was thinking one week. We've waited too long al- MULDER: Cooool. The sooner the better. Work it, girlfriend. SCULLY: [Following another pinch in his ribs] I've rehearsed our wedding in my mind for the longest time. I know exactly how it's going to be. The happiest, most perfect day of my life. MULDER: I second that emotion. We can do it anyway you want...big, small...family an' friends lookin' on, Justice of the Peace, Las Vegas drive-thru chapel. All the same to me. As long as you show up for the honeymoon, I'll walk down any aisle you pick! SCULLY: [Kissing his pungent after-shaven cheek] You definitely have a sense of the traditional. I was thinking small...our mothers, maybe Bill and his family...I'll have to think about that- MULDER: Yeah. You know how much your brother loves me. SCULLY: He'll come around. And if he doesn't, too bad. It's my life. I have the right to make you the best part of it. No comments from the peanut gallery. MULDER: You are so beautiful when you're takin' on the world. I'm gettin' turned on again... SCULLY: You're drop dead attractive yourself, when you're doing the same. Save your eagerness for the wedding night. You're going to need every bit of it. You know, as soon as I phone my mom and tell her the news, she'll set things in motion quicker than Cigarette Smoking Man on a great day. If you can think of anyone you might like to invite... MULDER: I dunno...maybe the Lone Gunmen, but then maybe I don't wanna rub Frohike's nose in it. He's gonna take losin' you to me sorta hard. SCULLY: Don't be so sure. He's met someone nice online. He let me down easy the last time I paid the guys a visit. MULDER: GET OUT! Well, well...wonders never cease. I'm livin' proof. Anyway, your mother sounds like the best route to go. My mom won't believe I'm gettin' married until she sees me in the tux, standin' next to you in the white dress. An' speakin' of which, let's keep our nuptials a secret from our fellow Feds, Scully. Okay? What we do is our business. The way it's always been with us. The only thing I will be forever grateful to the Bureau for is hookin' us up. The non-frat policy is totally unrealistic. Even if our marriage costs us our jobs, if we're found out, so be it. Right? SCULLY: You know, Mulder, lately I've been thinking seriously that perhaps the Bureau isn't the rest of our lives. Maybe...we have other avenues to explore together, but independently from the FBI. I mean...that's just a thought. MULDER: I've put the 'I' in the FBI all this time...I can just as easily remove me. As usual we're on the same wavelength. What we do isn't written in stone. As long as we're together, we can make anything work. So...we'll see. We'll take it day-by-day with the Bureau. Whatever happens, happens. As for the immediate future...like I said, just make sure you show up, lookin' as gorgeous as usual, to point me in the right direction down that aisle. SCULLY: Do I look unsure about the inevitable direction we knew we'd both have to go one day so I could become Mrs. Spooky Mulder for real? MULDER: Nope. From the first day I laid eyes on you, you've always looked like her to me. SCULLY: Amen... - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - [One year and a half later to the day...] SCULLY: [Breathlessly into their cell phone] MULDER! Honey - it's me! MULDER: Yeah...hi, Danee. I'm gettin' ready to leave now. Surprise...our favorite A.D. wants our report FIRST thing tomorrow, so guess what we'll be doin' tonight before what we always do every night of the week. SCULLY: We'll be celebrating... MULDER: Oh? Celebrating what? SCULLY: I didn't want to tell you...didn't want to get your hopes up...but it's just been confirmed! I've just left my gynecologist. WE'RE PREGNANT, MULDER!! You're going to be a father! Mulder? Mulder -sweetheart- are you still there? MULDER: Yo! That thud you just heard was me pickin' myself up off the floor! You're sure, angel? Absolutely SURE? SCULLY: I'm absolutely POSITIVE! I'm carrying our love-child conceived in wedded bliss. So much for scientific unfeasibility. I guess perseverance and sheer desire should never be factored out. MULDER: Yeah, 'specially when you consider how much we love doin' the wild thing, huh? SCULLY: Making love with you is always an adventure in ecstasy...F-O-X. MULDER: I'm outta here, Scully. See you at home with the biggest, bubbliest bottle of champagne I can get my hands on! SCULLY: I LOVE YOU, MULDER! MULDER: Right back at ya, Scul...and you too little Scully or Mulder, Jr. The report can write itself. Tonight we celebrate the baby they told us we could never have! Celebrate the happiness I thought was too impossible for a guy like me to even dare dream about. See you at home, Mrs. Spooky. [Click] SCULLY: [Smiles deeply, wipes away the tear sliding down her cheek and kisses the cell phone's mouthpiece, then mutters...] Hope I'm carrying twins. They do run in my family...a brother and a sister. Mulder would get the biggest kick out of that... END - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Thanks. SusanLittlejohn@netscape.net