Title: "Chew!"
Author:  Kate Andres (KStarbuck@aol.com)
Rating: PG
Classification: Not quite sure... find out for yourself
Keywords: Hmm... another tough one.  Humor me and read
it. Then *you* can tell *me*.

Disclaimer: Obviously David, Gillian, Chris, Tom, Frank,
and whoever else belong to themselves.  Mulder, Scully,
and Frohike are theirs too, and 1013's.  Rose is mine, but
there *could* be a Rose.  Basically, anyone you recognize
doesn't belong to me and I'm using them without
permission.  Please don't sue me.  I can't afford it.


Wednesday, March 11, 1998
Vancouver, BC
1:38 p.m.


"You want us to WHAT?!  Chris, you SWORE no
Mulder/Scully relationship!"  Gillian Anderson exclaimed,
exasperated.  She threw up her hands and turned to pace.
What am I going to do?  Kiss David?  I can't do that!  She
shook her red hair, trying to clear out her head.  He wants
me to kiss David Duchovny.  Her heart pounded in her
chest.

"I'm sorry, Gillian, but it's only natural," Chris Carter
defended.  He had been the one for five years who swore
Mulder and Scully would NEVER get together, and here he
was, trying to push a Mulder/Scully relationship on them!

"No, it's OBVIOUS is what it is.  People EXPECT Mulder
and Scully to get together."  She turned and leaned over
Chris's desk, her face only inches from his.  "The X-Files is
NOT obvious.  It's the most UN-obvious show on
television!  Why on earth would you want Mulder and
Scully to get together?  Can I say two words? *MOON*
*LIGHTING*.  ėMoonlighting' went down the toilet after
their main characters got together!  And remember ėLois
and Clark'??  Was that show EVER the same after they got
involved?  Hell, Lois found out who Superman was!! No,
Chris, this is NOT going to work."  Panic was seeping into
Gillian's voice.  She did not want to have to kiss David.
She *had* to convince Chris to cut the scene.

"Hey, if Scully and Mulder don't get together, how do you
feel about Frohike?"  Tom Braidwood asked, sticking his
head into the office.  He wore a goofy grin.  Gillian picked
up the stapler from Chris's desk and hurled it at the door.  It
hit the wall and fell to the floor as Tom ducked away.

"Gilly, why don't you want to do the scene?"  David
Duchovny asked, sauntering into Chris's office.  He wore
that goofy half-grin of his.

"Because... because..."

"It's OK, spit it out," David said, still smiling.

"Because it's WRONG!"  Gillian plopped into a chair,
giving up.  She threw her hands into the air once more.

"What, don't want to kiss me?"  David whispered into her
ear, leaning close, before he straightened and left the room,
throwing a wicked smile back over his shoulder to Gillian.
Gillian felt a deep blush rising into her cheeks.  Quit it,
Gillian, you're a professional actress!  You can do it!  It's
not YOU kissing David, it's Scully kissing Mulder.

"Go to wardrobe, Gillian.  We're starting soon," Chris
Carter reminded her.  He was not going to cut the scene.
Gillian stood, her small frame tense.  She wanted to think
of some witty remark to throw back at this man who was
forcing her to do something she didn't want to do, (Don't
you want to kiss David Duchovny, Gillian?) but she
couldn't.  All she could think of was the kiss that would
happen in no time at all.

Gillian stormed into Wardrobe.  "Which one, Rose?"  She
asked, tersely.  The woman smiled kindly and handed
Gillian a black pants suit with a fitted jacket.  "So
*typical*," Gillian muttered, taking the suit.  She was bitter
at the whole show when she should have been angry at just
Chris.  Why are you taking this so hard? She asked herself.
You *know* you wouldn't mind kissing David... but he's
married!!  The little Tea Bag snagged him.  Maybe five
years ago, this wouldn't have ben so bad.  Gillian could
remember walking into that audition office to read for the
part of Scully.

Her heart had been pounding. She was only twenty-four
years old, reading for the part of a twenty-nine year old
woman.  Her hair had been long and blond, a sharp contrast
to the short, professional red do she had sported since.  She
had stepped in to read opposite the man they had chosen to
play Mulder.  And her heart had stopped.  The man was
tall, dark, and handsome.  He had to have had at least a foot
on her in height.  And he had these droopy hazel eyes and
that pouty lower lip... she had about fainted right there in
the casting room.  But she had sucked it up and read-- read
well-- and gotten the part.  In the beginning she had
dreamed about Scully and Mulder getting together so she
would have an excuse to kiss this man.  But now... she
didn't know why it was different now.  It just was.

"Ms. Anderson?"  Gillian looked up.  Rose was looking at
her oddly.  Gillian realized she was still holding the outfit.

She smiled.  "Sorry, Rose.  I was kinda... out of it."  She
grinned, her nerves calming a little.  This would not be
nearly as bad as that first read had been.  She had hardly
been able to get the words out of her mouth thinking about
the gorgeous man standing opposite her.  Now, she and
David were friends.  She could do this.  Rose smiled back,
handing Gillian the shoes. They were little black pumps,
size seven.  "When are you people going to realize heels are
HELL to run in?"  Gillian asked, only half-joking.

She took the outfit into the dressing room and slipped into
it before coming back out to get her hair and makeup done.
Sitting in front of the lighted mirror, Gillian just relaxed
and let the woman go to work.


*****

"Annnnnnd... Action!"  Chris Carter snapped the clapper in
front of the camera before stepping out of the way.

"Scully, it's been six years since we've been working
together," David started.  He and Gillian were sitting on a
bench in front of the "Maryland waterfront."  In reality it
was the Versatile Shipyards of North Vancouver.

Gillian's heart beat faster.  Only a few more lines before her
lips would meet David's for the first time.  Move over, Tea,
here I come!

"Cut!  Cut!  Gillian, that was your line!"  Chris smiled at
the startled expression on Gillian's face.  "From the top.
Annnnnnnd... Action!" *snap*.

"Scully, it's been six years since we've been working
together," David started again.

"Mmm hmmm," Gillian said, her eyes transfixed on
David's.

"Cut!!!  Gillian, the line is ėI know, Mulder, can you
believe it's been that long?  We've been through so much.'"
Chris prompted her.

"That line sounds sooo un-Scully," Gillian complained.
"Look, Mulder and Scully just finished a way stressful case,
right?  And they're taking a break after work by the water.  I
mean, right off the bat that's unrealistic!"

"It happened in ėThe Host'," David reminded her.

"Yeah but in ėThe Host' Mulder and Scully weren't about to
kiss!  If this is going to happen, it's got to happen in the true
X-Files tradition."  Gillian stood from the bench, leaving a
stunned David gawking.  It wasn't like Gillian to try to
totally rewrite the script.  "Here," she said, standing next to
Chris.  "Have them still on the case.  They're looking for
this guy-- this alien hybrid-- and they get in trouble.  Like...
OK, try this.  They're in the warehouse.  Rewind to where
we're chasing the alien.  Only here,  the floor crashes
through.  Mulder and Scully fall in."

"Gillian--" Chris began.

"Let me finish.  Mulder and Scully fall through the floor
and it looks like there's no way out.  It was a long fall and
the walls are slick, there aren't any windows or other doors
or anything."  She was beginning to like this scene she was
describing.  "Above them they hear the wood creaking.
The whole place is going to collapse and they're going to be
stuck in there.  All of a sudden one of the boards gives and
the warehouse-- or at least some of it-- crashes down
creating this huge noise.  And rubble piles over the spot in
the floor they fell through.  So now Mulder and Scully are
trapped. Thinking they're going to die, they reveal their
innermost secrets.  How's that?"  Gillian grinned, proud of
herself.  She had never thought of herself as a writer, that
was Chris's and David's and the others' department and she
usually left it to them, but the idea just sounded so *good*
to her.  A lot less awkward than sitting on a park bench
with the water sparkling behind her and stars twinkling
above them...

"I like it," David said, standing and joining them.  Chris
looked at his watch.  3:14 p.m.

"Hmmmm," Chris began.  "It might work... we'll have to
call it a day here. Gillian, I'll rewrite it if you stay to help."
Gillian nodded.  "OK, we're going into post-production on
scenes four, five, and six. I need sound work done on
scenes two and seven.  It's a wrap for today on this scene,
we'll start again with it Friday morning, eight o'clock.  See
you here bright and early tomorrow to finish up some
things and get Friday's new and improved script,"  Chris
called his instructions, draping an arm across Gillian and
leading her into the office.  "We've got a lot of work ahead
of us tonight."


*****


Friday, March 13, 1998
Sound stage in Vancouver studio
8:07 a.m.


"So you and Chris rewrote the whole ending to this
episode?"  David asked, impressed.  He had written a
couple episodes with Chris, but Gillian had never tried.
She nodded, smiling.

"Act two, scene eight, take one.  Annnnnnnd... Action!"
*snap*

"Where'd he go?"  Gillian called out, running after David.

"I think he went that way!"  David called back, sounding
out of breath.  He sprinted ahead, hearing the resonating
clicks of Gillian's high heeled shoes behind him on the
concrete floor of the warehouse.  He came to a stop,
breathing heavily.  A second later Gillian joined him,
equally out of breath.  "I lost him," David recited.

"How about in there?"  Gillian asked, pointing to a small
door in the back.  David grabbed Gillian's hand and they
sprinted toward it.  The door was partially open.  The pair
burst through, the floor in here wood.  Together they ran
through the large room, boards creaking beneath their feet.
Gillian could see the spot on the floor the special effects
guys had created to give with their weight.  She took a deep
breath as her feet and David's fell on the spot at the same
time.  A sickening CRACK could be heard as the boards
gave and Gillian and David fell the five feet down onto a
soft, thick landing mat.

"Cut!"  Chris called.  He hurried over to the whole where
David and Gillian lay on the mattress.  Gillian was giggling
uncontrollably and David was grinning.

"That was fun!" David called up.  "Need us to do it again?"

"I think once more and we'll have it.  How do you two like
doing your own stunts?"

"Love it!"  Gillian said, still smiling.  She and David stood,
not an easy task on such a soft surface, and climbed out of
the whole.

"Reset," Chris called and a small mob of men came to
redress the rotten wood.

"Mommy, you OK?"  A little voice asked as Gillian stood
patiently for the makeup woman to retouch her hair and
makeup.  A small girl looked up at Gillian, her eyes wide.
She held a gruesome prop-- a disembodied hand.

"Yes, Piper. Mommy's fine," Gillian assured her young
daughter.  Satisfied, Piper scampered off with her hand to
play with some of the crew members.

"Places!  Act two, scene eight, take two.  Annnnnnd...
Action!" *snap*

"Where'd he go?"  Gillian called to Mulder.

"I think he went that way!"  David called back, pointing.  "I
lost him."  He came to a stop, sounding out of breath.
Gillian caught up to him and stopped as well.

"How about in there?" she asked.  David grabbed her hand
and they burst through the small door onto the wooden
floor.  CRACK!  Perfect again.  David and Gillian hit the
mark in perfect unison and fell once again onto the landing
mat.

"Cut!  That's a wrap.  You two head into wardrobe to get
beat up," Chris directed as David and Gillian climbed from
the hole.

Dust was applied to their faces, hair, and clothing.  Tears
were added to the professional suits to make it look as if
they really had broken through splintered wood.  Gillian
got a cut on her forehead and David received a scratch on
his cheek.

The pair headed towards the set that had been decorated to
look like some dungeon basement.  The special shots from
through the hole in the "floor" were taken first.  Then
rubble was added and more shots of the hole from the
viewpoint of Mulder or Scully were added.  A pan shot of
the dungeon basement was taken to show there was no
escape.  Now it was time for the scene to be played out.

"Mulder?"  Gillian said, her voice shaky with fear as she
looked around, her eyes wide.  This part was taking place
before the rubble was to fall.  "Do you think we can get
out?"

"Scully, that opening is at least fifteen feet up.  Even with
you on my shoulders I doubt we could make it."

"Well what are we going to do?  Mulder, we're stuck!"
Gillian could fee the panic seeping into her voice and she
was pleased.  She always felt a rush when she knew she
was acting a scene well.

"Calm down, Scully."

"Calm down?!  Don't tell me to calm down!  I'm not going
to calm down until we get out of here!  Mulder, do you get
it?  We're stuck.  Stuck!  I mean, look at this place."  She
walked to the wall and pounded on it.  "Solid concrete.  No
windows, Mulder, no doors.  And the ceiling is fifteen feet
up!"

"What do you suppose this room was used for?"  David
asked, lowering himself to the concrete floor.  "Ooo, my
butt hurts. That fall sure did a doozy."  Doozy?  What was
she *thinking* when she wrote this?

"Mulder, you're bleeding."  Gillian's heart beat faster
anticipating the part that was coming up.  She went to
where he sat and knelt next to him, examining the nasty cut
on his cheek.

"You are too, Scully."  Gillian brought her fingers to her
head, feeling the sticky blood the makeup girl had applied
there.  It was corn starch and water dyed red.

"I guess we both got it pretty bad," Gillian recited, sitting
cross-legged next to David.  This was where the creak from
the warehouse giving would be placed.  Gillian and David
focused their attention above them.

"That doesn't sound good..."  David said, looking worried.

"No, it--" Enter CRASH.  Some crew guys slammed pieces
of wood together to act as the deafening noise that would
later be spliced in.  Gillian and David scooted quickly on
their rear ends out from under the hole as dust and small
debris sifted down.

"Oh no," Gillian moaned.  "What are we going to do?
We're being buried alive!"  She used her best "what on
EARTH could happen next?" sarcastic-ish Scully tone of
voice.

"Cut.  That was good!  Should we try it one more time?"
Chris asked, walking onto the set.  "That's the commercial
break. When we come back, Mulder and Scully have been
sitting on that floor for a while.  They're talking about
nothing in particular and everything in general."

They did the scene three more times before moving on to
the "after the break" part.

"Places!  Ready?  Act two, scene 9a, take one.
Annnnnnnd...Action!" *snap*

"So, tell me again.  What exactly happened that night?"
Gillian began.  She took a breath.  A big Mulder
monologue was coming up and all she had to do was look
interested and concerned.

"I've told you this a hundred times, Scully," David said, an
amused expression on his face.

"Well, we're not going anywhere anytime soon, so tell me
again."  Gillian brought her knees up to her chest and rested
her arms on them.  She rested her chin on her arms.  She
looked like a little girl ready to hear a story.

David sighed.  "Samantha and I were playing Stratego.  I
wanted to watch The Magician on TV but she wanted to
watch some dumb movie.  I said I was in charge and that
started a fight.  Then... it happened.  I tried to stop them,
tried to save her, but I couldn't move.  I was frozen and
there was nothing I could do."  He looked ashamed and
Gillian reached out her hand to stroke his cheek lightly.
"And ever since then, I've been looking.  In the beginning
my family fell apart.  So I looked at every dark-haired little
girl I saw on the street, in the store, at school, in the movie
theatre.  I knew Samantha would bring us together as one
again.  For years I did that.  I never stepped out of the front
door without keeping one eye open for her.

"When I became an adult, I went into psychology.  It was
another unconscious decision made in hopes of finding her.
I thought if I could get myself into the mind of whoever
took her, I could find her.  And then with the FBI.  I
stumbled across the X-Files one day, and the rest is
history." He looked up, a single tear glistening on his
cheek.  Gillian silently commended him for achieving that
tear without the help of special effects people.  The rubble
piled precariously on the hole would creak now, reminding
Mulder and Scully that they could be buried alive at any
time.

"And she's been all-consuming.  You've never been as
devoted to anything as to finding Samantha.  You've
never--" David sniffed causing Gillian to stop reciting.  A
small smile crept onto her face and she looked directly into
the camera, losing herself in a fit of giggles.

"Cut!"

"I'm-- sorry--" Gillian managed to get out between giggles.
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, hoping to calm
the laughter.  "I'm sorry."  She took another breath and let it
out, taking control of herself again.

"That was good," Chris said.  "Let's take it from ėwhen I
became an adult'.  Annnnnd... Action!" *snap*

"When I became an adult, I went into psychology.  It was
another unconscious decision made in hopes of finding her.
I thought if I could get myself into the mind of--" Gillian
began silently giggling again.  Her shoulders rose and fell
quickly and she hid her mouth, trying to not appear so
obvious.  David looked at her and cracked a smile.

"Cut!  Gillian, ACT!"  Chris ordered.  She nodded,
breathing deeply to quell the fit of laughter that just
wouldn't leave her alone.  She knew what was coming up
and unconsciously, she was avoiding it.  "Act," he
reiterated.  "Ready?  Same spot.  Annnnd...Action!" *snap*

"When I became an adult, I went into psychology.  It was
another unconscious decision made in hopes of finding her.
I thought if I could get myself into the mind of whoever
took her, I could find her.  And then with the FBI.  I
stumbled across the X-Files one day, and the rest is
history."  David somehow managed that tear again.  The
rubble pile would creak.

"And she's been all-consuming.  You've never been as
devoted to anything as to finding Samantha.  You've never
loved another woman as much as you love her.  Not even
Phoebe," Gillian managed to deliver her line straight-faced
and even concerned-looking.

"Only one," David said, his face dead serious.  Those
brooding hazel eyes of his looked Gillian directly in the eye
and she felt her heart stop.  She couldn't tear her eyes from
his.  Her heart thumped wildly in her chest.  Gillian, *you*
are not kissing *David*, *Scully* is kissing *Mulder*!
Come one, he's your partner. My partner?  Work partner!
Gillian, what are you thinking??  You WORK with David.
He's married!  Remember?  Taller than you, dark hair, has
her own TV show in LA, does the name Tea Leone ring a
bell at all?  Now just pucker up and kiss him already!  But
Tea's in LA, I'm here in Vancouver with David... Gillian!!
They're waiting!

"Who would that be?"  Gillian managed to choke out.  She
was semi-glad she was really feeling this way because it
helped her look more convincing.  Scully would be fighting
with herself, pondering every step of the way.  David
moved slowly but deliberately, slipping his hand behind
Gillian's head.  He pulled her to him, closing his warm lips
over hers.  He held her there for a second, his breath warm
on her face, before breaking the kiss and leaning back.
Gillian opened her eyes.  "Wha-what did you do that for?"
She asked.

"Because--" David looked up to where the rubble would
look as if it were about to fall.  "Because we might die here
tonight, Scully, and I don't want us to die before I tell you
how I feel.  I love you, Scully."  His face perfectly
displayed the torn, tortured emotions Mulder's would have.
Gillian felt a surge of pride.  She had helped come up with
this scenario.  She was also proud of David.  She knew he
sometimes struggled with emotions on-screen.  But he was
good at serious, brooding, and tortured.

Now it was her turn.  Gillian swallowed. She was afraid she
would flub it and the scene was going so well.  She licked
her lips.  OK, Gillian, you've done it once.  You've kissed
David.  Now you just have to do it one more time.

"Mulder, I--"

"No, don't say it.  If you don't feel that way about me, that's
fine. I can handle it.  I can be your friend, Scully.  That's
enough for me."

"No, Mulder," She took both her hands this time, pinning
his head into position as she initiated the kiss.  It was soft,
gentle, and short.  Camera cut to close-up of each of them,
their eyes cloudy with desire.

"Cut."  Gillian let out a sigh of relief.  It was over.  Her
kissing scene with David Duchovny had passed and it had
been pretty painless.  And she had comfort in the fact that,
in true X-Files tradition, it was more than likely Mulder
and Scully would not share another of these moments for a
good, long time.  "Good!  Now I want to try something a
little more with that second kiss," Chris Carter instructed.

Do it again?  Noooo!!!  Gillian's heart fell.  It had taken
enough guts to kiss him once.

"I want more.  I want you two to get into it a little.  Chew."

"Chew?"  Gillian asked.

"Yes, chew. Make it real.  From Mulder's line ėNo don't say
it.'  Places!  Ready?  Annnnnnnd... Action!" *snap*

"No, don't say it," David started.  "If you don't feel that way
about me, that's fine. I can handle it.  I can be your friend,
Scully.  That's enough for me."

"No, Mulder," Gillian used only one hand this time, resting
lightly on David's cheek.  She kissed him.

"Chew!" came the direction from offstage.  "Chew!  Now,"
Chris said quietly to a cameraman, "I want a close-up of
them."

Chew?  How do you chew?!  Gillian started chewing as
best she knew how.  Chewing, though, made her giggle.
She had to pull away as their teeth clanked together.

"I'm sorry!"  She said, trying to suppress her laughter.
Again.

"Gillian, this is a serious moment.  You need to ACT,"
Chris chided.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry."

"Same place.  Annnnnd... Action!" *snap*

"No, don't say it.  If you don't feel that way about me, that's
fine. I can handle it.  I can be your friend, Scully.  That's
enough for me."

"No, Mulder," Gillian leaned in. Their lips met yet again
and she began to chew, hoping it looked natural enough.

"Make it REAL!"  Chris called.

Gillian almost pulled back, surprised, as she felt David's
tongue flick her lips.  God, he knows how to kiss.  If this
was making it real, she didn't mind.  It was... awkward to
her, but she didn't mind.  Not in the least.

"Annnd... Cut.  That was good!  Now I want to try it once
more."  Chris walked over to some lighting technicians to
give them instructions.  Gillian wiped her lips.  Again?!?!
How many times was Chris going to make her do this?

All in all, they ended up doing that second kiss three more
times.  "My lips are going to be chapped!"  Gillian said
after the last take.  She had relaxed, though, and even
started enjoying it.

"Your lips are going to be chapped? *My* lips are going to
be chapped!"  David exclaimed, a lopsided smile on his
lips.  "See?  Was that so bad?  You were all worried about
nothing."  David squeezed her shoulders.  He's not Mulder,
Gillian.  He's David.  A very married David.  And
remember that rule, never get involved with work partners.
Well, Mulder and Scully just threw that one out the
window... no, Gillian, he's NOT AVAILABLE!!!  Gillian
walked off, shaking her head and smiling.


*****


Sunday April 5, 1998
Chris Carter's home
9:43 p.m.

"Hurry up, Gillian, you're going to miss it!"  Tom
Braidwood called.  Gillian hurried back into the living
room just in time for the commercial break to end.  She
was carrying a glass of water.  She wiggled her small frame
in between Chris and David.  A bunch of them had gone to
Chris's house to watch the show.

"So, tell me again.  What exactly happened that night?"
Scully asked.

Gillian looked to David.  A few minutes more and...

"Only one," Mulder said.  There was a close-up of him, his
eyes dark and cloudy.

"Ooo, good!"  Gillian said, leaning into David.

Everyone watched the screen, not saying a word.

"Wow, that looks pretty good," David commented with a
smile.  "I never thought Mulder and Scully were such
naturals."

No one spoke another word until the screen turned black
and the letters C-h-r-i-s C-a-r-t-e-r appeared on the screen.
Tom began clapping.  "Bravo! Bravo!  Good episode."

"Encore!" Frank Spotnitz said, grinning goofily.

"Next time it'll be Frohike," Tom said, leaning back against
the couch and crossing his arms.

David glanced at Frank before turning, grabbing both sides
of Gillian's face, and planting a big, hard, wet kiss right on
her lips.


End.

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