Beauty's Beast
by Susan Proto (STPteach@aol.com)

Disclaimers in Part 1

Part 4/4

8:55 a.m.

Finally, Mulder fell asleep. He'd fallen into a deep sleep, and should
have found some rest, but instead, his mind went into overdrive and he
dreamed. He dreamed of the demons of his childhood, and of monsters, and
of Cher.

Cher? He couldn't imagine how Cher infiltrated his rem sleep, but she did.
Mulder wanted to talk with her and find out how it came to be she was able
to love Rocky so completely. But she shushed him and said in that raspy,
hoarse tone so classically associated with Cher, "Oh Fox, don't you know
that's just make believe? You can't possibly believe anyone could love
someone that completely. It's impossible, Fox. It's impossible!"

"But you loved Rocky, didn't you?" he asked hopefully.

"Oh, honey! That wasn't really Rocky, now you know that. That was Eric.
He's an actor. He was hired to play Rocky. It wasn't my job to really love
Rocky. The real Rocky was dead long before that movie was filmed anyway.
Surely you knew that?" she asked assuredly.

"What?" Mulder suddenly felt confused and out of control. He didn't know
what to say. The one thing that had grounded him all these years was his
ability to believe in extreme possibilities. What was more extreme than
believing a woman could unconditionally love her imperfect child?

He'd always wanted to believe in that, but experience taught him it wasn't
always possible. It wasn't right, of course. Parents are supposed to love
their children, no matter what. It's what makes them parents, or they
shouldn't be allowed to keep their children.

He knew his own parents shouldn't have been allowed to keep him,
especially after Sam's disappearance. They'd forgotten how to love him
with all of his imperfections. They'd forgotten it was their job to love
him even with all of the blemishes on his character and soul.

Cher was supposed to love Rocky, but Rocky was dead, so what was there to
love? It's easy to love an imperfection after it's been wiped away. It's
dealing with the fault while it's still visible; still in plain view.

"Kelly," he moaned. He needed to see Kelly. He had to let her know she
wasn't an imperfection and that he never saw her as one. "Kelly," he
moaned again. He had to tell her. She didn't know the truth. Kelly was
still looking for Cher, but Rocky was dead, and it didn't matter anymore.
Cher couldn't help her. Cher was simply an actress doing her job.

Mulder could help her though. But, Mulder felt as though he was running
out of time. He needed to tell her, before their time ran out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

10:05 a.m.

Scully had been sitting by Mulder's bedside for almost forty minutes, but
he was still in a deep sleep. When she'd first walked in, he was mumbling
incoherently, though she was able to pick out the name 'Kelly' and, oddly
enough, 'Cher'. She reached over to caress his cheek, when he slowly began
opening his eyes.

"Good morning, Mulder. Long time no see," she said softly.

"Mornin'," he mumbled. He licked his lips and tried to find some moisture
to wet them with, but he wasn't very successful. He watched Scully reach
over him for the tray which held the pitcher of water and the cup and
straw.

Scully smiled as she watched his face practically glow with anticipation
over taking a sip of the liquid. "Go slow, okay?" she reminded as she
placed the straw to his lips. He followed orders beautifully and released
the straw from his mouth. Mulder then laid his head back on the pillow and
whispered, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" she echoed in surprise. "Mulder, what do you have to be sorry
for?"

"For getting sick and making you come back here," he confessed.

"Oh, Mulder, how could you possibly have anticipated the incision becoming
infected? C'mon, you had no control over that. Besides, I was going crazy
in Lexington and was looking for an excuse to escape. Of course, a call
from our illustrious AD with a new, more pressing case would have been a
much more sensible way to 'spring' me, but you've never been one to be
sensible, have you, Mulder?"

"No, I guess not. Umm, Scully? Can I ask you a question?" When she nodded,
he asked, "Umm, I know this probably sounds absurd, but, where am I?"

"UMMC," she replied. "The doctors over at the Maryland Rehabilitation
Center felt they didn't have the capabilities to treat your infection or
any possible complications, so they transferred you back to your original
placement."

"Oh." He couldn't hide his disappointment.

"What's wrong?" Scully asked.

"I was hoping I was still at the rehab center. I mean, there's this kid
there who I've gotten kind of close to," he explained.

"Kelly?" she asked in confirmation.

"Yeah," he said and then looked up with a startled expression. "How did
you know?"

"I spoke with her," she explained.

"You did? When?" he asked in confusion.

"Very, very early this morning. She'd apparently sneaked into your room
and saw you were still running a fever. You were calling me and she
somehow managed to pry my cell phone number out of you. I'm so glad you
work for the FBI, Mulder. Chinese water torture wouldn't elicit
information from you, but a teenage girl who bats her eyes at you will!"
she chuckled slightly as she teased him.

Mulder didn't take the bait though which surprised Scully. She figured for
sure he would have come up with some kind of sexual innuendo that they
could have bantered back and forth. Instead, he looked away and remained
very quiet.

"Mulder? Did I say something wrong? If I did, I'm sorry." His head still
faced away from Scully, and she didn't understand what she'd done to make
him look away. "Please, Mulder, what's wrong?"

Still facing away, he said, "I think she would have been a very pretty
girl." He fell silent again.

"Who?" Scully asked after several moments had passed. "Who would have been
very pretty?"

When Mulder turned his head again to face Scully, she could see his eyes
brimming with tears. Scully felt as if her heart was going to break when
she saw how saddened he felt. "Mulder, who would have been very pretty?"
He remained silent, so Scully ventured an educated guess, "Kelly?"

He nodded mutely, and the tears began to fall with equal silence. Scully
pulled down the guard rail on the side of his good leg and climbed on to
the bed and sat right next to him. She wrapped her arms around his
shoulders and chest and asked quietly, "Can you tell me about her?"

He nodded, and after taking a few deep breaths he leaned into Scully more
and began talking about the young girl he'd somehow grown very attached to
in only a matter of hours. He told Scully about the conversation he'd had
with the teen about the movie 'Mask' and Cher, (which now explained his
mumbling when she'd first entered his room,) and the fact that he really
didn't see her disabilities. She really was his beautiful, best girl, and
he wanted Scully to get to know her.

Mulder really wanted to see her again for himself as well. Kelly helped
keep him grounded when Scully wasn't there. "And besides __," he began.

"Besides, what?" Scully asked.

"I'm afraid for her. I just have a feeling something is terribly wrong,
and I need to see her again," he admitted.

"I'll call the rehab center, Mulder. I'll see what I can do, okay?" she
said. Mulder nodded his thanks and then nestled into Scully for some much
needed comfort.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
12:50 p.m.

Mulder had eventually fallen back to sleep and actually slept peacefully
for a couple of hours. Scully had put in a call to her mother to let her
know that, first, she was back in town, and second, she needed something
edible for both her and Mulder at the hospital. Maggie Scully, like the
cavalry, arrived with enough supplies to feed an entire unit.

Scully decided sharing the wealth with the nursing staff wasn't a bad idea
to help insure a little extra TLC on their part. She figured they could use
it as a credit for the time when Mulder started feeling better and he made
a royal pest of himself.

While her mother was there to keep Mulder company, Scully decided it was a
good time to call the rehab center to see if she could make arrangements
for Kelly to visit Mulder. It seemed so important to Mulder; she hoped
there wouldn't be a problem.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2:05 p.m.

Scully sat on the chair, stunned. All she could think was, 'He knew.' She
didn't understand it, but she knew in her heart, Mulder felt something was
wrong, and he needed to see the child.

After Kelly'd left Mulder, earlier that morning, she'd returned to her
room. She'd wheeled herself over to the desk that was provided and pulled
out her journal. She'd started keeping one as soon as she'd learned how to
write, and she'd found it to be a great tension reliever. Whenever people
were unkind to her or showed their ignorance of how to behave like a
member of the human race, Kelly had often written her thoughts down in the
journal. She'd already filled eight of them, and was nearly finished with
this one too.

She knew it would be the last journal she would ever keep, so she wanted
to be sure she recorded her final thoughts in a careful manner. And she
knew just what she was going to write. Her best friend gave her the words;
all she needed to do was write them down.

She wrote, "Dear Journal, It has been an interesting day and night. My new
friend, Fox (who hates that name, and wants me to call him Mulder, so I do
to his face, but I _LIKE_ the name Fox, so I'll call him Fox here, okay,
Journal?) is still very sick. They keep treating him with different
antibiotics, but they don't seem to be working. I don't understand why
he's still sick.

"I went into his room again tonight, cause I knew he was scared. It's
strange, Journal, but it's almost like I could read his mind. I mean, I
didn't actually know what he was thinking; it was more like I knew how he
was feeling. And he was feeling so bad! So sick! I had to go back in there.

"And then I got him to give me Skully's (or is it Scully?) phone number. I
talked to her, Journal. At first she didn't sound very nice, but then, then
when I told her Fox wasn't feeling well and he needed her, she sounded so
different. She loves him, Journal. Just like he loves her, she loves him.
I hope they tell one another soon. When people love each other, it
shouldn't be a secret.

"So, Mrs. Perkins shushed me out of his room after I'd told her we phoned
Scully. She wasn't too pleased with me, but I think because she doesn't
want me to get sick too. Everyone knows that's gonna happen sooner or
later, but they're all so hell bent on prolonging the inevitable. Oh well,
I was too tired to argue. I didn't get too much sleep tonight, Journal.

"Anyway, I was real upset when Mrs. Perkins told me they were moving Fox
to the hospital. I didn't want him to go. I wanted him to stay here, with
me. But Mrs. Perkins explained he couldn't get better here, so I didn't
argue anymore.

"But Fox knew I was sad. I don't know how he knew; he was hardly awake,
but he knew. He called Scully his beautiful, best woman, but he called me
his beautiful, best girl. That's okay. I'm willing to share.

"He called me beautiful, Journal. I didn't think I'd ever hear that said
about me. I didn't think I'd ever care whether it was said about me or
not, but now that it was, I care. I really do care, Journal.

"I am beautiful. I am Fox Mulder's beautiful, best girl. I feel beautiful
for the first time in my life.

"I feel happy for the first time in my life.

"I can die happy now, Journal.

"Love always, Kelly."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kelly had been transferred to Johns Hopkins, where she'd been treated in
the past for her Neurofibromatosis. The tumor on the base of her skull had
grown so much, it began strangling her spinal cord and the brain tissue at
the base of her skull. Suddenly, and without warning, Kelly lost
consciousness as a result of the tumor's stranglehold on her lifeline.

They'd rushed her over to Johns Hopkins in an ambulance in the hope their
medical team would be able to do something to reverse the effects.

But they were too late.

Kelly Preston, age fourteen, died at 10:25 a.m. of complications from
Neurofibromatosis. Ironically, it was about the same time Mulder had told
Scully he was afraid for his beautiful, best girl.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1:30 p.m.

Scully had done everything in her power to cleanse her eyes of the
redness. She wasn't sure if now was the right time to tell Mulder of
Kelly's death. She didn't want to keep something as important as this from
him, but she didn't want to cause him any added stress that could hamper
his healing process.

It didn't matter what options she considered though, because as soon as
she walked through the door, Mulder knew something was wrong. Mulder
sensed a change in her, and it discomforted him.

Maggie Scully knew something wasn't quite right also, but she didn't know
what she could do about it. The best thing, she thought, was to give her
daughter and her partner some privacy so they could deal with it. She
quietly excused herself.

"You phoned the rehab center, didn't you?" he asked somewhat rhetorically.

"Yes."

"She can't come, can she," he said, more in the form of a statement rather
than a question.

"No, Mulder, she can't come."

He looked at Scully, and within an instant, understanding came
immediately. He gasped and grasped the sheets with both of his hands as
tightly as he'd ever held anything before. "Scully!" he cried out, and she
ran to him. He continued to hold on to the bed covers for dear life. He was
so afraid of letting go, for he felt if he did, he'd go tumbling into
despair without any hope of ever climbing back up out of it.

"Oh, Mulder," Scully whispered into his ear as she embraced him and held
him tightly to her, "I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry."

He couldn't hold it in any longer. He didn't know how to control it. He
didn't want to control it at this point. Mulder felt so much love, so
quickly and so deeply for that child, and the thought that he wasn't ever
going to get the chance to tell her that was absolutely devastating to him.

He began to sob, great, huge, gasps of emotion. And Scully held him and
gave him as much physical support as her own small body could provide, and
as much emotional support as her huge heart could offer.

She rubbed his back in circular motions, and she cooed in his ear that it
was okay; he would be okay. She held him, and she rocked him, and he wept
until there were no more tears. He laid quietly in his Scully's arms and
allowed himself to be held and comforted.

After much time had passed, Mulder finally spoke. "All she wanted was
people to see her for who she was."

Scully nodded gently, which she was sure Mulder could feel as her head
rested on top of his. When he remained quiet, Scully offered in a whisper,
"You did that for her, Mulder."

"I wish I knew that for sure, Scully," and she felt his breathing hitch a
little.

"Oh, Mulder, you did. You have no idea what you did for that young woman.
You made her feel something she never, ever thought she would feel.

"You did something very, very special for her, my wonderful, sensitive,
compassionate Mulder."

Mulder looked up at Scully, the tears still quite evident in both of their
eyes. "What did I do for her, Scully? I didn't get enough of a chance to
say all the things I wanted to say," he lamented.

"Oh, Sweetheart, but you got the chance to say the important things. She
knew she was important to you. You let her know that in no uncertain terms.

"And Mulder, you made her feel beautiful. And happy. You made her feel
beautiful, and I swear, Mulder, she died happy. You did that for her, my
love. You did a great and wonderful thing."

"I hope so, Scully. God, I wanted her to know she deserved her Cher. I
really wanted her to know that."

"She knew, Mulder. Kelly knew." Scully reached around Mulder and drew him
closer to her. They sat like that for many more minutes, and when he
suddenly felt a fleeting sense of joy, he knew it was Kelly letting him
know Scully told the truth.

Mulder finally decided he could believe, because he always searched for
the truth, where ever it could be found.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
End of Part 4/4