Birthday Barbecue
by Susan Proto  (STPteach@aol.com)

Disclaimers in part 1

Part 2/2

Everyone's pretty much finished eating, with the exception
of the kids roasting marshmallows over the last of the hot
coals.  I notice a  few of the adults sneaking in with a
sharpened stick of their own, including, I'm happy to say,
my Scully.  I like watching her when she lets her hair
down.

Scully really is a whole different person when she's called
Aunt Dana and she's wearing shorts.  Not that it's bad when
she's in professional mode.  Jeeze, I wouldn't ever want to
give up that part of Scully.

But seeing Dana in action is nice too.

Everyone is moaning and groaning over how much they've
eaten when the grandkids and the friend's kids all roll out
this giant sheet cake.  It's really very pretty, and all the
more so when it's announced that one of Mrs. Scully's
neighbors and good friends, Irene, made it for her.

Well, now Scully drags Mrs. Scully up to stand by the cake.
Bill has now taken over photography duties and is
orchestrating her every move.  Scully smirks a little at Bill,
but he's so busy playing Mr. Kodak that he doesn't notice.

Charlie, on the other hand, cackles so hard I think he's
going to lay an egg.  Interesting dynamic between these
two.  It seems they never see each other, yet they behave as
though they're together all the time.

I wonder if Sam and I would have had that kind of
relationship if she'd have let me.  I close my eyes for a
moment as I allow myself to mourn the loss of her.  Yeah, I
know I found her.  The smoking scum brought her to me as
a means to an end.

Well, he didn't get what he wanted.  Me.  But I didn't get
what I wanted either.  A relationship with my sister.  I'd
like to think maybe someday, but if these last couple of
months have taught me anything, it's some things never
change, and if they do, they're not necessarily for the better.

So, I mourn for our lost relationship, because I can't allow
myself to hope and believe anymore.  It hurts to damned
much when it doesn't come true.  I don't have the energy to
hope anymore.

I don't think I can believe anymore.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Irene's taken the camera out of Bill's hands so he can get
into the shot.  Now she's orchestrating everyone.  Bill, Tara,
Charlie, Karen, Scully, the kids, and of course Mrs. Scully.
They're all laughing so hard up there, the tears are starting
to flow.

I feel my own eyes well up, if only out of some vicarious
thrill for their closeness, their happiness on this day.

I see Mrs. Scully whispering something to Scully and
Scully nods in response.  She says aloud, "Wait a minute.
We need  a few more shots, but we're missing someone."

I look around with everyone else, trying to figure out who's
missing.  Next, Scully is standing in front of me with her
hand outstretched.  "C'mon Mulder, Mom wants her
'adopted son' in the pictures too."

I gasp at this and look immediately over at Mrs. Scully.
She's smiling and waving us over.  I can't believe this.  I
really can't believe this.  I'm afraid I'm going to start
hyperventilating when Scully whispers to me, "Slow your
breathing down, Mulder."  Then she squeezes my hand for
moral support and I squeeze her back in thanks.

As I step in with the Scully clan, I glance over at Bill.  Big
mistake.  The man is glowering.  I mean, if you ever
needed a definition of the word, Bill Scully's face would
epitomize it.  I feel myself shudder a bit in response, but
then I feel a firm hand on my shoulder.  I look behind me.

It's Charlie.  He leans down a bit, and whispers in my ear,
"He's a bit of a wet rag, Mulder, but he's really harmless.  A
lot more hot air than anything else.  Besides, this is Mom's
day, and _she_  feels you belong up here with us.  I'm not
about to argue with the woman, and believe me, neither is
Bill."

"I just don't want to be the cause of hard feelings, Charlie,"
I respond softly back.

"Mulder," Charlie continued,  "Bill's not happy unless he
has something to bitch about.  But like I said, he's a
blowhard.  A pain in the ass.  But, when push comes to
shove, if either Dana or I ever really needed his help, we
both know he'd be there in a second for us.  And we'd do
the same for him, Mulder.  It's what brothers and sisters do
for one another, you know?"

Somehow I manage to nod my head in the affirmative, but I
know that it's not true for all brothers and sisters.  I know
it's not true for my own sister.  She's chosen to believe a
lying, murdering, sonofabitch who claimed to be her true
father instead of believing me.  She's chosen to distance
herself from me, even after I'd told her I'd been searching
for her for the last twenty or so years.

She doesn't want me in her life.  I guess she figures she
couldn't count on me the first time around.  What would
make me think she would want me around now.  I guess
not all brothers and sisters can depend upon one another.  I
take a deep breath at this point in an effort to regain control
of my emotions.

I look to my right to see Scully next to me.  She places her
left arm around my waist and I tremble a little at her touch.
I could get used to these family photo shoots.  I tentatively
place my right arm around Scully's shoulders, certain she
will pull away from me.

But she doesn't.

In fact, she moves in closer.

I think if there's a heaven on earth, I've just discovered it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The photo shoot ended way too soon to suit me, but it's
time for  the ritual opening of  the gifts.  Bill is back in his
role as Mr. Polaroid and Scully sits next to Mrs. Scully to
help her grab the presents.  Charlie is trying desperately to
keep his dynamic duo under control without too much
success.

They keep insisting they want to open the presents, but
Charlie is adamant about teaching them that not every
present in the world is theirs.  Karen eventually takes over
and everyone finally settles down to watch Mrs. Scully
open her first gift.

She tries to read the card aloud, but realizes she needs her
reading glasses.  About a dozen glasses are proffered, but
Irene volunteers to go into the house to get her glasses from
the counter.

"Thank you, Irene.  You know," Mrs. Scully says, "turning
fifty-five isn't as bad as I thought.  With all of you offering
me reading glasses, it's just occurred to me you're all right
behind me in the age department.  Everyone chuckles out
loud with her, and when Irene returns with the glasses she
reads the first card.

"This one says, "Happy Birthday, Old Pal!  Old Buddy!
Old Friend!"  Then she opens it up and reads, "Old Person!"

Everyone laughs at that and then Mrs. Scully reads the
signature.  "With love always from one old person to
another, Irene."

Mrs. Scully sends her friend a smile and quickly agrees
with her. "Yes, there's not to many around here that can
sympathize as well as you can with my back aches and
arthritis pain, is there, Irene?"  Next she opens Irene's
present to her and pulls out a tee-shirt that bears the same
words as the card, with the words "old person" printed on
the back.

Everyone has a good laugh and Scully gives her mom the
next present.  She reads the card aloud.  "Maggie, on your
birthday I just want to say that I'm really glad I have you for
a friend."  She opens it to the inside and reads, "I'd hate
cheating on my diet and lying about my bad habits with
total strangers.  Happy birthday.  With love, Mary Ellen."

And of course Mary Ellen gives Mrs. Scully a multi-pack
of Hershey Æ chocolate bars.  Mrs. Scully giggles at the
sight of this and immediately admonishes Scully to keep
her cotton-pickin' hands off!

Scully continues to hand Mrs. Scully gift after gift, and
everyone greets each card and gift with chortles of
laughter.  I, on the other hand, am becoming queasier and
queasier.  I hadn't realized.  Scully didn't tell me.

They're all gag gifts.

They're all light hearted, funny cards.

Scully didn't tell me.  I desperately want to somehow
retrieve the gift I brought.  I screwed up again.  She's going
to take it the wrong way.  I didn't mean__.  My thoughts are
cut off as I hear Bill Mulder call out, "That one, Dana.
Give her that one next."

"Why, Bill," Mrs. Scully says, "Do I get the feeling this
one's from you?"    Bill merely smiles and nods as she pulls
the card off.  It says, "Mom, Since it's your birthday I just
wanted to say I appreciate your patience with me during my
difficult years."  She then opens the card and reads, with a
knowing smile, " Birth to the present."

Scully is nodding furiously at this and Mrs. Scully is
laughing hard now.  "Tara," she calls out, "It was you who
picked out this card, wasn't it."

Tara is chortles out loud, and gives Bill a light punch on his
arm.  "I told you she'd realize it was me!  Mom," she says
right to her mother-in-law, "you know us too well!"  Mrs.
Scully tells him what a clever and wonderful idea it is, and
thanks Bill, Tara, and Matthew.

Next, Mrs. Scully opens the box up to find a picture album
with pictures of Bill on one side and Matthew, with the
corresponding age, on the other.

"There are still blank pages.  We figured you'd get a  kick
out of watching me deal with the son that you always said I
deserved for all of the aggravation I caused you.  So, we
figured a photographic keepsake would help you keep
better track.  We'll keep adding pictures as Matthew grows
up," Bill said.

The next card Mrs. Scully reads is from Charlie and his
wife, though Karen says it was really her idea, and Charlie
wasn't even allowed to read the card before he signed it.
This of course intrigues Mrs. Scully and she reads it aloud
for all of us to hear.

"It's your birthday, Maggie Scully!  Don't do anything you
might regretÖ" and then she opens it up to read, "But try to
do at least one thing you wouldn't tell your children about!
Love always, Karen & Charlie , Briana & Daniel.

"Oh, Karen, now I just need to think of something to do!"

"Umm, Mom, open your present," Karen says.

"Karen, didn't you buy that scarf you saw in the store?"
Charlie asks curiously.

"Not quite, Charlie. Not quite," she replies.

Mrs. Scully opens up what appears to be a scarf or tie gift
box and holds up what looks like four tickets.  "Oh my
goodness!  Karen!  You didn't!  Oh my," she says blushing
a royal red, "you're crazy!  And I love you for it!"

"What is it, Mom?" Bill asks.

"Well it looks like I've got tickets to the Ladies Night Only
show at the Chippendale's Night Club," she replies with
uncontrollable giggles.

"A male strip joint?" asks Bill incredulously.

"Yep.  And it's just for us Scully women, so you're just
gonna have to fend for yourselves tomorrow night
gentlemen,'' Karen retorts.

"All right, Karen!"  Scully says enthusiastically.  "Leave it
to you to give Mom a night on the town!  Okay, Mom,
here's my little gift to you."

I wonder what Scully gives her mother for her birthday.
Everything has been so light hearted and laden with humor,
I suspect Scully's gift follows suit.  It only makes my gift
seem ever the more foolish to me.  As I wait for Mrs.
Scully to open Scully's card, I look for my gift.

I spy it on the floor next to Scully's.  Oh God, it's the last
one.  It's the smallest and Scully hadn't seen it laying there.
I could just casually walk over and pick it up while
everyone is looking at Scully's gift to her mom.

"It's your birthday, Mom, and you look great!" Mrs. Scully
reads on the front of the card.  She then opens it and reads,
"Öconsidering all those times I added ten years to your
age!  Love always, Dana," she concludes.  "How true my
sweet girl, how true. But I guess that's why they put the I in
FBI, right?"

I watch Scully laugh at her mom's joke.  Though I know I
should try to retrieve the gift I brought for Mrs. Scully, I sit
frozen in my spot.

Mrs. Scully opens up her present from Dana. Ever the
pragmatic, though enigmatic, Dr. Scully, she gives her
mom a new cell phone with all of the necessary phone
numbers programmed right into it.  I hear her tell her mom
speed dial #1 is the emergency number 911.  Scully then
informs her #2 is Scully's home number, and # 3 is my
home number. Next, #4 is our office number.

What?  Did I hear Scully say _my_ phone number was #3?
She programmed my number in before Bill and Charlie's?  I
look quickly at Charlie who's just sitting there smiling.
Bill, on the other hand, returns my glance with a piercing
stare.

I don't think he's too happy with the turn of events here.  I
strongly doubt he'll be terribly enthusiastic about my card
to his mother either.

Shit. She found my present.  Oh, shit.

"Mom, wait, there's one more here I hadn't seen.  Here you
go," she says as handed her the small, ornately wrapped
box with the large card attached.

I am watching her open the envelope and it feels like she's
doing it in slow motion.  I try to get her attention.  Please,
don't read it out loud.  Please.  Don't.  Please.

She reads aloud, "Of all the nice words in the world, the
nicest must be 'mother.'  You have been like a mother to
me."

I close my eyes now.  I can't look at her.  I can't look at
anyone around me, but I feel as if all of their eyes are on
me.  I hate this feeling.  I hate feeling like an idiot for doing
something that had felt so right just a couple of days ago.

She continues reading aloud, " With love to you,  And
thanks to you, too, For all that you are and all that you do.
For all of the happiness you give to others, and especially
for being the dearest of mothers.  Love always, Fox."

The tears had started rolling down her cheeks halfway
through the reading of the card, but I didn't notice because
I'd shut my eyes tight.  My head is facing down, because I
don't want her to see the tears rolling down my face.  So
instead of watching, I hear her tear off the wrapping of my
gift.

When it is quiet I look up, as I wonder if she approves of
it.  But she hasn't opened it yet.  She cradles the small box
tenderly in her hands before she lifts the cover.  She looks
at me quickly before I have a chance to avert my eyes.   I
know what I see in her eyes, and it allows me to continue to
look at her as she opens the box.

I pray she won't be upset with the gift I'd chosen for her.  At
the moment I wonder if she may think it was too brazen of
me, especially given the fact everyone knows my take on
the subject.  But when I saw it, it just seemed so perfect.  I
hope she realizes why I chose it for her.  Not because I
want to mock her beliefs.  Because I admire and envy them.

I want her to believe.

I need her to believe.

Mrs. Scully lifts the box and I see her take in a quick
breath.  Her lips move, and I think they form, "Oh Fox, oh
my," over and over again.

I don't take my eyes off of Mrs. Scully.  I'm afraid to look at
Bill.  I figure at this point he would just as soon see me laid
out on one of his sister's autopsy tables.

I avoid Charlie's gaze because I fear that whatever positive
feelings he had for me when he'd arrived today may just
have gone out the window for being too damned
presumptuous.

And I don't dare look at Scully, because if I look at Scully
she will see clear through me and realize just how much I
need her and her mom to accept this gift with the love it
was intended.  But I'm afraid.  I'm so afraid they'll think I'm
trivializing something that is so important to both of them,
and that is the last thing I intended to do.

Mrs. Scully picks it up out of the box and holds it up.  "Isn't
this the most beautiful crucifix you've ever seen?  Look,
everyone, it's made from turquoise and silver.  It's so
delicate, but the material makes it seem so much more
substantial.  Oh my God, it is just gorgeous."

"Fox, thank you, sweetheart," she says as Scully manages to
clasp it around her mom's neck.  Then Mrs. Scully stands
up and walks toward me.  She grabs me by the waist and
wraps her arms around me.

"I love the cross, you dear, dear man," and then as she
squeezes me ever so slightly more, she says softly, "and I
love you too, Fox Mulder.   Don't you ever forget that.  I
will always love you, too."

"Thank you, Mrs. Scully," I whisper into her neck.  I am
crying unabashedly now, and I suspect there's not a dry eye
in the house.

"Mom.  You should call me, Mom," she says.

Now I'm sure there's not a dry eye in the house.

"Thank you___, Mom," I say with only a slight hesitation.
It sounds okay coming out of my mouth.  It sounds right.

"Happy Birthday, Mom," I say as I hug her with a joy I have
not felt in a very long time.

End of 2/2

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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