Arms of My Angel By: Crystal Pittman Rating: PG-13 border R Catogory: MSR/A/S Disclaimer: Believe me. If I actually owned them, don't you think that they would already be together? Anyways, His Lordship, Chris Carter, Fox and 1013 own them. I will put them back where I got them when I am finished. Feedback: Is the sky blue? Of course I want feedback. Constructive critisim will be used. Flames will be used to roast a certain Russian. Authors Notes: I at first intended to use the whole song of Sarah McLachlans "Angel" but I don't want to do another songfic. So I will use pieces of it to set the mood. Distribution:Gossamer and Xemplary: Yes. Others: Ask and ye shall recieve. ************** Arms of My Angel By: Crystal Pittman *********** \\Spend all your time waiting For that second chance For a break that would make it okay\\ Another Saturday at home. I normally would be excited for this mini vacation. But today is not normal. Today I must attend the funeral for my best friend. Not your average day's agenda. Know what though. I am not sad. I am not crying. I am utterly calm. Surprising for the people who know me and that is only my mother and was my best friend. Now all I have is my mother. Oh of course she'll always be there for me, but I am distancing my self from her. I need to. Its the only way I'll be able to do what I am going to do. \\Theres always some reason To feel not good enough And its hard at the end of the day\\ I got the call that Mulder was killed only two days ago. Not the type of wake up call that you enjoy, but then again, how many wake up calls *do* you enjoy? Anyways, the Washington State Patrol called me at 3:38 in the morning. It seems that Mulder was coming back to home when a stupid drunk teenager struck his car. He was killed instantly. The damn teenager is alive and well, sitting in juvenile hall this New Years day. To find out that your best friend has been killed is alot of pain in its self, but to find out on Christmas day, is another. \\I need some distraction Oh beautiful release Memories seep through my viens\\ Its been ten years since I lost my daughter. Ten years. I am not even over her and then I lose my best friend. As usual, his mother wants nothing to do with him alive and now, unfortanatly, dead. Therefore, my mother and I are stuck with the funeral arrangements. I will tell you now. It is harder than hell to prepare a funeral for someone close, but I was bound and determained to give him the best funeral ever. I hired an orchestra to play Sarah McLachlans "Angel". It was our song. It is our song. \\They may be empty and weightless and maybe I'll find some peace tonight\\ We moved out of Washington D.C. almost ten years ago. After the "haunted Christmas" we shared, lets just say there was alot of soul searching that night. We got married after almost six months of "dating". We decided to start afresh in Seattle, Washington where no one knew of us. We both went into private practices in the same building. We settled down. Became domesticated in all senses of the word. \\In the Arms of the Angel Fly away from here. From this dark cold hotel room And the endless that you fear\\ Its cold and dreary today. Whats new? This is Seattle. Seems almost appropriate, if you catch my drift. We are standing over his shallow grave, listening to Father Nyugen. Amazingly, shortly after we arrived in Seattle, Mulder turned religous. He went to confermation classes and was baptized a Roman Catholic. Shocked the hell out of me and my mother. \\You are pulled from the reckage Of your silent reverire In the arms of the Angel May you find some comfort here\\ Bill showed up. I don't know if it was on his own or if Mom had a hand in it. Guess I'll never know. I must have been day dreaming because the next thing I knew I was being pulled away. Mulder's casket was being lowered into the grave. As soon as it was in there, I grabbed a fistful of dirt and tossed it. Mother did the same and so did Angel. Angel, our miracle child. The one never ment to be. \\In the Arms of the Angel Fly away from here. From this dark cold hotel room And the endless that you fear\\ To tell you the truth, we never planned her. She was a blessing in disguise. After all the doctors telling me I would never concive a child, she was concieved. They said I wouldn't carry to full term in all liklihood. I carried to full term, actually past my due date. That was eight years ago. Now I--WE-- have a beautiful daughter. She's not a skeptic or a believer. She's a mixture of both. She has her fathers sense of humor and my inquisitive mind. She has his eyes, mouth, nose and she has my hair. I knew the moment I laid eyes on her that she would look exactly like her father and I was right. The only way you can tell she's my daughter is by her hair. \\You are pulled from the reckage Of your silent reverire In the arms of the Angel May you find some comfort here\\ Soon the funeral is over completely, and Angel and I go home. I tell mom that we are going to go to sleep and I am not far from the truth. I will never forgive myself for what I am about to do, but I need to do it. I pull into the garage and park the car as the garage door shuts. Angel makes a move to get out of the car but I stop her. She looks at me. "Why, Mom?" "Angel just listen to me please. Sit here with me." I say. She nods her head and I pull us both into the backseat where I wrap my arms around her. I have left the car on and its only a matter of time before the fumes will take our lives. I hope to God Angel will forgive me for this because I can never forgive myself. The last words Angel mutters to me is "I'm tired, Mommy." and then she is gone. I am soon to follow. "Forgive me. Please forgive me." I whisper in my dying breath. Someone has to. \\In the arms of the Angel May you find some comfort here\\ ****************************** Article from the Seattle Post Intelligence January 2, 1999 Dr. Dana Mulder and her daughter Angel, were found dead yesterday from an apparent murder-suicide. They were found by Mrs. Mulders mother. Mrs. Mulder apparently killed her and her daughter after arriving home from the funeral of her husband Fox Mulder. A graveside service is being held for Mrs. Mulder and her daughter January 10, 1999. An autopsy is being performed on both mother and daughter. Such a tragic beginning and end in this new year. ****************************** Finis ****************************** Well, what did you think? I know its not in Scullys nature to kill her self and her daughter but I'm in this Angsty mood right now. I hope you liked it. Crystal